What do you do on a flight when the passenger beside you insists on talking to you the whole time and won't shut up?

earphones and a book. and eyeshades.

I don't let them have the chance to talk to me. Right when the plane is high enough to start using electronc devices my headphones are in my ears and I am reading a book while listening to music.

Ask him to to a stroll out the emergency exit.

Absolutely nothing, I put my headphones in and either listen to my mp3 player or play one of my handheld gaming systems.

noise cancelling earbuds and airline bottles go far.

Ask them to pray with you.

Also on an international flight, special order the Muslim meal. Does wonders. No one wants to talk with you.

Ooops I messed up. I forgot something last night. He left me alone until I woke up and then started talking again. I acted like I really wanted to listen to some music by holding up my headphones, he eventually got the point and THEN left me alone. But would gab at me every time I didn't act like I either wanted to sleep or wanted to listen to music.

Put on a very heavy accent on top of the language they are speaking and say that you do not understand very well the language they happen to be speaking. Works every time.

Actually I had to live through that situation once. I was on a flight and there was this rather large talkative guy who kept ordering coke after coke after coke. He was a nice guy but hogged the arm rest and talked like a machine gun. rat-a-tat-a-tat. I dealt with him in a kind manner after I had heard enough and told him that I was dead tired and really needed some sleep. He left me alone. There is nothing wrong with being polite and telling someone that you need your sleep. Holding earphones up to your ears like you really, really want to listen to music will help also.

Id enjoy the conversation and be grateful Im sitting next to someone friendly who doesnt seem to mind the pint-szed entourage travelling with me.

Sadly though, most already seated passengers freeze when they see us coming down the aisle, close their eyes and mutter under their breath something like "duck! duck! keep moving witch!" - well, thats what it looks like anyway! Cant say I blame them. I wouldnt even be travelling with the little critters if I had the choice!

Honestly though, I fly international about twice a year, and Murphy's Law or whatever it is, whenever I sit next to someone who looks genuinely interesting, they don't talk at all, but when it's someone who wants to talk politics or religion or something else generally not appropriate to discuss with a stranger about, those are the ones that want to talk your arm off.

Quickly pull out the GabbaMeter, agree on a rate, and earn some cash. Otherwise, pretend you're Somalian.

I tell them I want to sleep (my main on board occupation). And if they want a conversation buddy, I propose them to switch seats with someone else.

I'd probably be a grown adult and talk to them politely or just mention that I want to read or whatever.

That usually always works when people say that to me.

jforce Re: "yappy Canadian" As a Canadian I take umbrage at your remark. In fact, I have a thing or two I'd like to tell you about that if you can spare a couple hours !

Too true, Pukey. I remember trying to get out of talking to a guy from Bolivia by pretending to be German and not understanding English. Problem was, he was a research agricultural scientist who'd lived and studied in Frankfurt for seven years. And I don't speak a word of German. Major embarrassment.

Tell them you're a Mormon and you want share with them a message about the purpose of life.

You're going to regret that if you find out the person's actually a Mormon too.

I guess I'd participate in the conversation as long as the person isn't trying to convert me to his or her religion. I have actually met a couple of interesting people that way. In any case, I am unable to sleep on planes and don't find the films they show to be very entertaining. It's a good way to pass the time.

Drink free airline beer until I am clearly belligerent and the guy doesn't want to talk to me anymore

Just be blunt and say this is meaningless banter and I really don't care. It solves everything - fast. What would really suck is if you crashed with the babbling fool - my guess a yappy Canadian.

Tell them you're a Mormon and you want share with them a message about the purpose of life.

Papasmurf, good one. But why limit it to Mormons? Any old self-righteous Christian will also do the trick.

Don't start the conversation, ignore and pretend to sleep or watching movie so i cannot hear the talk anymore

Tell them you're a Mormon and you want share with them a message about the purpose of life.

Well, you can't quite know about the "whole time" until its over can you? But you can tell people who have diarhea of the mouth for whatever reason.

I will talk to people who talk to me, and don't start conversations much as I prefer silence. But if they talk, so will I. I will get an idea of them as we talk. When I think I am talking to someone who can't take a hint, I will still talk beyond my enjoyment or actual tolerance and move into ignoring them both as a test and because I am beyond my tolerance. Let it go for a while then tell ask them point blank to let me read my book or let me sleep. If they can't handle that I will start being direct and tell them they need to learn some self-control or something. Nicely, but direct.

I will talk to them about completely boring subjects until they fall asleep.

Fall asleep or pretend to fall asleep.

Ignore them.