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When you were a child, how did your parents discipline you?

23 Comments

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23 Comments
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I was taught manners, to respect people's privacy and to avoid asking prying questions.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Being an only child, I was coddled by my parents but at the same time was taught discipline the old-fashioned way. However, unlike the old fashioned upbringing, I was raised to reason and plead and not just take the brunt of everything.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

My parents didn't have to discipline me, I was always a good boy, with the possible exception of doodling in class in elementary school one day and was disciplined by getting wacked on the behind several times with a long wood board by the principal, lol. I never did get revenge for that unwarranted abuse.

-5 ( +0 / -5 )

was disciplined by getting wacked on the behind several times with a long wood board by the principal

Man, I went to a private elementary school and same as you, the principal would give me "swats" on the behind with a wooden paddle back in the 80s. Every time for something very minor.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Mostly yelling and swearing. But my dad was and is a gentle giant.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Stern words, shouting and threats from my parents but no striking.

Chalk and board dusters as missiles, canes, straps, slaps, holding hardback bibles in each hand with arms spread out and a cane waiting if your arms dipped, holding snowballs without gloves for 10 minutes and other assorted punishments from teachers. Some sexual abuse occurred but I don’t think that was carried out as a punishment.

I was much safer being naughty at home.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

We got spanked a lot, all of us, yelled at, but we all understand how much our parents loved us. Made us all better and more successful people.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

We got spanked a lot, all of us, yelled at, but we all understand how much our parents loved us. Made us all better and more successful people

Do you have any evidence that parents spanking children makes all kids better and more successful people?

-4 ( +4 / -8 )

Do you have any evidence that parents spanking children makes all kids better and more successful people?

Yeah, I'd be more inclined to say I'm successful in spite of being spanked, not because of it.

0 ( +6 / -6 )

Do you have any evidence that parents spanking children makes all kids better and more successful people?

Do you have any evidence that children that are not spanked are better and more successful?????

3 ( +7 / -4 )

Do you have any evidence that children that are not spanked are better and more successful?????

No. I’m open to the evidence. That’s why asked him the question.

If he has evidence, I’ll read it with interest, but I get the feeling he doesn’t have any.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

Don't recall any corporal punishment; guidance was primary. What remains as a psychological scar are a few biting, belittling remarks made when my parents were too tired to guide. Perhaps that did help, though I tried to avoid doing so when raising my kids.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

It's important to balance it. If you need to be hard on them, make sure to triple that in lovingness. Make sure they understand why they were being disciplined and assert that it was out of love and care for them.

Tough love is tough on the parents more

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Mum could "shout" quietly. It used to scare me rigid. How we were punished depended on the offence. The punishment ranged from a disapproving look to a clip round the ear. From what I've observed, there is no problem with any kind of punishment provided that it's accompanied with justice and not just an emotional mother lashing out at anything in sight. It's necessary to a) have lines and b) keep the family from crossing them. What the exact rules are is up to that family group. But the most important in any family is to keep good communication and understanding. If that's done, there is not usually much call for punishment.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Do you have any evidence that parents spanking children makes all kids better and more successful people?

I never said spanking is good for all kids, but for a large percentage of people I work with whose parents were raised old school are extremely successful, having said that, you might think it’s a bad thing, a horrible thing, I don’t. I do spank my kids if it is absolutely necessary and thankfully, I don’t need to and my oldest is an honor student well behaved so there was no scaring or damaging. If people don’t feel the need to use physical discipline, that is there prerogative, if others do then that is their prerogative as well, what works for one family might not work for another.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

@Bass4funk @Kapuna @Jimizo

The American Psychological Association suggests that spanking is harmful for children. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking

The American Academy of Pediatrics agrees.

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/spanking-is-still-really-common-and-still-really-bad-for-kids.html

Pretty much any reputable, scientific source is going to tell you that spanking is less effective and causes more long-term harm to children than other parenting methods. It is seen as effective by parents because it leads to immediate, short term acquiescence, but it doesn't lead to long-term improvement as effectively as other methods.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201802/the-spanking-debate-is-over

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/05/health/spanking-harmful-study-pediatricians.html

1 ( +4 / -3 )

RowanM, the psych organisations you reference make the mistake of applying one case to all. Not all people are the same. For some children spanking is really harmful and for others it's water off a duck's back. Trying to base an opinion on the average of a number of vastly different cases never works.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

@BertieWooster several big points

1) It's not applying one case to all. It's talking about trends and averages. Spanking every child will have significantly worse outcomes overall than not spanking any child and using other methods of teaching and discipline.

2) Even if not all people are the same and it's "water off a duck's back" for some, you have no way of knowing who may or may not be harmed by the corporal punishment. As such, you should still choose the method that will cause less harm, because "for some children spanking is really harmful" and you don't know if your kid fits into that category.

3) I was responding to specific comments asking about evidence, which is included in the links I have given. Please kindly do the same if you want to refute my points. If you don't have any evidence, you're not really contributing to the conversation in a meaningful way.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

@RowanM

Thank you for your links.

Why do people thumb down someone for presenting evidence from reputable sources? I hope Bass can present an opposing stance from reputable sources rather than anecdotes. I’ll read his sources too.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

The strap. It is good for instilling discipline. I still believe in it.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

My stepdad used to knock the crap out of me! I turned out alright but I hate him!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I wish I was raised with this type of discipline...

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/685533353/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

0 ( +0 / -0 )

My parents were old-school disciplinarians and my ex-military father's voice terrifies me to this day. He didn't shy away from corporal punishment, either.

I often wish I could have experienced the coddling that some members of my generation supposedly got.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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