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Parents attend matchmaking parties to find partners for their children

38 Comments
By Megumi Iizuka

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38 Comments
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This is just so wrong on so many levels. These so-called parents have done a pretty crappy job, in my opinion, in raising their kids if they have to get involved in their "love-lives"....Oh wait, these marriages aren't about love.

My bad

16 ( +23 / -7 )

Better to look for a diamond in desert than a jungle or a slurry pit.

3 ( +7 / -4 )

Isn't this Omiai which is the last ditch resort for those repressed or hard working Japanese to find a partner.....

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Could be good. After all, many yourh cannot make good decisions and wise adults may be able to to steer them along with some wisdom.

-7 ( +2 / -9 )

treated like children as ever.

11 ( +15 / -4 )

So a 38 y/o woman is considered “children “!!?? Maybe that’s part of the problem!

or perhaps it has to do with the society that thinks it’s more important to work yourself to death and not have any personal social life aside from karaoke, otaku and binge drinking.

then they wonder why some people go off the deep end.

21 ( +22 / -1 )

A recipe for success

4 ( +6 / -2 )

I hope most of them will end up finding a “lover” for themselves and not for their offsprings. How can they find love for the children they haven’t even shown what’s love is? Just mind boggling.

2 ( +7 / -5 )

Sometimes Japan seems so clueless.

10 ( +14 / -4 )

You have do admit though some of these parents just want their kids out of the house.

I have noticed though from the arranged marriage couples I have met, the divorce rate is pretty low. It seems like they got married the traditional way, they just stick with the marriage in a traditional way through the hardships.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

The chances of these last ditch efforts working are incredibly low. Man I sometimes wonder where I would be at now if I didn't get hitched, soon find myself forcing myself to  stop thinking about WHAT could have been as if often makes my current life seem so average......and retirement so far off in the distance....

If I was still single in my late 30s or 40s there is no way in hell I would be actively looking to get married!

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Late 30's and 40's children who need mommy and daddy's help to find a partner... I seriously would not want to be in a relationship with someone like that.

2 ( +6 / -4 )

pathetic

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Here is a shot in the dark, THROW AWAY THE SMART PHONE.

Try, calling someone, or God forbid, meet them in person.

Go to the gym. Eat healthy. Get a hobby. Save money. Self improve a little everyday, for example, learn a new language or read an actual book. I'm pretty sure the younger generations do little to none of this. Self esteem and libido right out the window.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

@stocktrader

most people are not familiar with actually speaking to people anymore,unless it's on social.

Soceity is basically doomed at this rate.

Soon sex robots will rule the world! Hopefully I won't be around for that.:-/

4 ( +4 / -0 )

The key to a happy marriage is for it to have been arranged by the nagging, overbearing mothers of each partner. Uh, right?

8 ( +8 / -0 )

The idea that these parents get consent from their sons is a lie.

I've seen those kinds of parents registering with their son having no clue of what's going on.

Paradoxically doing all of that, and the stress and pressure that "you have to marry" are many of the reasons why people have stopped doing it.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

When you raise a generation that can’t think for themselves , have trouble communicating or know nothing of the joys human relationships can provide unfortunately this is what you get. And parents still want to try and solve the problem for them?

Darwinism.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

A lot of Japanese, particularly those who have reached parental age, still value marriage as a way to keep the family line going and attain financial stability.

Sheesh. My wife and I couldn't imagine what we'd do without each other. Some things are only mutually intelligible to ourselves. Our behavior matches a mutually predictable rhythm. As we age, certain issues are sure to arise; we seldom discuss them but know that each is considering the other. And then there's the kids. Always the kids, even though they're both in the US now (at least one will come back). With all of this, such abstract concepts as the family line and financial stability are inconsequential.

It's love, you see. And love is a verb, with consequent actions that cloud out all else. I'm not saying these partners cannot reach this; I'm simply saying a deep understanding of what this is and the resulting required behavior - physically, mentally, and most importantly, emotionally - is necessary.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

ive had many lovers, heartbreaks, cheating. i maybe a little liberal, but a good arranged marriage would of saved me from 20 years of lies, deceit, and financial liquidation. the key is to match the perfect partner.

-1 ( +5 / -6 )

@ stocktrader, you should add on STOP WORKING 24/7 loads of money is not the way to happiness, happiness should be based on trust, working together, and that connection you should have for each other, money does not solve all of the problems, it helps don't get me wrong. 10,000 yen each, x 2000 people 20 million yen income, thats not to sniffed at, (£133,333) I understand that they will have expenses,

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Only parents who have gained prior consent from their children can attend the party, which lasts about two hours and costs participants 10,000 yen each.

Outcome not assured but then it is not an expensive party.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

These young people don’t want to get married and who can blame them? There is not one advantage to getting married and a thousands pitfalls for doing so.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

There might be those who enjoy being by themselves more or are more into their hobbies, but this is more for those who have lots of responsibilities at work and just don’t have the time or chance to meet someone decent.

And they probably have already tried those dating websites only to be disappointed.

Decent intelligent people who want to marry but for some reason or another haven’t do exist. Can’t hurt to have a little help.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

butt out of your kids lives! maybe they like not being nagged by a spouse

2 ( +2 / -0 )

The Headlines give the suggestion that something like Child Marriage is going on here...

The parents should be trying to encourage their Kids to be more outgoing rather than shy and introverted. Go make Friends with Foreigners, go travelling, see the World. Working 1000 - 2100 hrs then coming home and to play online games until the early hours is not good for a wholesome life.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Many good, realistic comments here, and some not so...

What struck me first was the mother's comment: She added that she was hoping to meet parents she gets along with and has things in common, "because it would be difficult to have in-laws who are so different from us," she said.

As far as I'm concerned, the relationship between a couple's parents is far down the list of important things in a married couple's relationship with each other. Any married couple that puts their parents' interests before their own is doomed to fail. This is one thing about the Japanese culture that I believe is touching on the insane. If my in-laws ever tried to run my life, let alone comment on it, they'd be cut off.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

For some love is diplomacy, for some - a market. Some want stability for their children and the family, some want benefits from having offspring. Some are misguided, some are disgusting. Neither are right.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I've been with a few Japanese women(maybe the wrong ones) and it always comes to this: at first all is good, we share everything then comes the serious parts of the relationship then they start turning back to their so called traditional ways of living then they stop sharing, they tell you once they get married they will stop working but will keep traveling with their friends or mother/family but their husband will pay for every thing while they are having good time and he's killing himself at work to pay for her happy time.

Some only want the appearance of wealth and don't care if the husband gets into deep dept for that then when he can't give her such life anymore then they complain and ask for divorce...

Other ones want their husband to do everything work, be home to take care of her and the kids and bring the big money from work and if they don't the wife stop talking, having intimacy and keep nagging him. Again when the husband wants to get involved with the kids education and other decisions regarding them then the wife complains that this is the mother duty and he has no words to say about it.

Many of the men though from what I saw are more working too long ours then when back home after 1 or 2 hours commute for some arrive home and only want to sleep because they have to get up very early to go back to work, other ones instead of going home to their family are going to bars with colleagues until late at night or to the pachinko and spend a lot of money.

When a little problem arise many just try to ignore it, don't want to talk about it just if it was going to resolve by itself or as I have seen some women just like to make a tantrum just like a baby.

Many of them are just like teenagers even in their 30's/40's/50's they refuse to face adversity.

They need to grow up and start a real partnership with their love one, "the old ways" can't sustain today's life much.

I have friends(Japanese ones, not mixed couples) there and they are mostly behaving like western people in their relationship regarding work, children and other.

I do NOT say western ways are the best, but they get the family more involved together.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

IMO the old traditions of Japan should be kept. The ideas of westernization should be looked at to the chaotic issues they face which are far from perfection and as the news points out are pretty messed up. These foreigners who post on the site of what Japan should or shouldn't do is pointless as they should be addressing their own countries issues and let Japan and its people do what they feel and know works for Japan. This is an old traditional practice that does work for the benefit of everyone in time. It keeps families, traditions and honor within the family something westerners have lost in their pursuit of new modernization. No thank you. I hope Japan increases and keeps it traditions that have kept it safe from the westernization liberalization that has ruined what other nations had once respected.  Elders should be respected and those with lessor wisdom should listen and know when to talk.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

It's still that way to some degree in the U.S.A. Some parents want to 'check out' all the girlfriends for their sons and they want their sons to be in THEIR image of what they were in say, the 'Leave It To Beaver' days or those godawful 'Dick and Jane' books. These parents don't give an iota what their children may think. This is WRONG on every level, AND it's another excuse to con you out of your money.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

First question I would be asking is "Can the Female Cook?" ... Every Sunday there is a TV program on and they ask Japanese females to cook a normal everyday Japanese dish and close to 98% of them FAIL, christ yesterday out of 15 females only 1 could cook Aji Fry .... I am NOT Japanese by birth and last time I checked not female, but hell I can cook over 30 Japanese dishes, that the wife, her mother and the rest of the family enjoy.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

bjohnson23

I just think that to improve something it is nice to seek somewhere else what you need and to take it and to adapt some of those foreign concepts to your own, no culture is perfect, Japanese, Western ones, Chinese, Thai, African ones, we all need to improve our own ways of doing things in some ways and there's nothing wrong with that. It is called evolving.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Patrick Og - I have friends(Japanese ones, not mixed couples) there and they are mostly behaving like western people in their relationship regarding work, children and other.

Just curious, how did you arrive at your sweeping generalization of Japanese married couples if the ones you actually know are different to that?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

In omiai, don't ask female if she could cook. Cooking is not wife's duty.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The cooking shows on TV? They are for males. Sponsored by utensil manufacturers.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Don't recomend African culture. They don't know the corporation representative is female. One of lady said confusions. The country was presenting a wife. Stick to your culture.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

And then there’s Google Translate...

Don't recomend African culture. They don't know the corporation representative is female. One of lady said confusions. The country was presenting a wife. Stick to your culture.

What???

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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