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Bum's the word in Japan security scans

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© 2012 AFP

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62 Comments
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A sensor sheet that can accurately identify one's backside, my ass!

Oh, and make sure you never change your clothes.....

2 ( +3 / -1 )

and never lose or gain weight or muscle.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

So does this mean we are gonna be backing-up to the Cashiers at the 7 eleven in the future?

8 ( +9 / -1 )

So does this mean we are gonna be backing-up to the Cashiers at the 7 eleven in the future?

LOL! Funny post! ...and in the future, combinis will be able to know who you are and swipe your credit card through your butt crack at the same time, I figure....

8 ( +9 / -1 )

The question is, will it detect the gold hidden up there?

3 ( +7 / -4 )

One thing the Japanese did good for bums was with their toilets... Not sure about the cars getting jacked here but this may do good in the US. Most car jackers will have the jeans on btw- so focus there... not many guys in suits/slacks.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

They might as well try to take the whole car and not just the motor.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Say "no" to crack!

4 ( +6 / -2 )

"Does your butt take Edy, sir?"

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

What exactly takes place in their research facility, I wonder, and what does a test subject actually have to do? How does the professor begin to recruit these test subjects? Something like "Hi, I'm an assistant professor at a famous Institute, and i wonder if you could sit on a few things for me....?"

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Congrats on yet another Ig Nobel award to a researcher from Japan.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

The butt warmer was amoung Japans best inventions, but i think I'm fine with the fingerprint.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Where do I swipe?

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Can this be shared with other family members who may drive?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

The recognition tends to be compromised by different clothes...

That tends to make it absolutely useless!

3 ( +4 / -1 )

The butt warmer was amoung Japans best inventions, but i think I'm fine with the fingerprint.

Well yes, especially for ID cards, which might be entirely too big, especially for some of us, using the new technlogy.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Pictures?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I guess driving naked will become the preferred method. Just be sure not to lend your car to your hairy family member.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

The men here are really strange.

Does it take into account whether you have a beard or not?

0 ( +2 / -2 )

what a bummer :p

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Soon you will be backing into the densha ticket gate, with your pASSmo.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

a world leader in technology

1 ( +2 / -1 )

The last time I had my butt scanned, it was with a long tube that had a camera attached.

All it found was I really was an a-hole. I had the doctor write a note to explain that I really did not have my head up there after all.

Oh yes, then we used a key to start the car.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

“The sheet has 360 sensors, which collect data for 39 features to recognize a person, such as pressure patterns and the dimensions of the buttocks,” said Dr Shigeomi Koshimizu, who led the research.

Will the price go up for Americans to cover a larger sheet and more sensors?

2 ( +5 / -3 )

New line for identity thieves: "Your @ss is mine!"

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Dumbest invention ever!

2 ( +4 / -2 )

I see we're already vying for world's worst invention for 2012. Move over lap-pillow!

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

hahah the bums the first place you put on weight and if you are having a baby.... I guess if you get fat you can no longer drive your car

0 ( +1 / -1 )

What a waste of money and time. That's a dumb research!!

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I reckon these turkeys are in line for an igNobel prize for this dud!

0 ( +2 / -2 )

"used as a last line of defense to stop someone else driving away your motor"

Yeah! I'm damn tired of having other people driving away my motors!

0 ( +1 / -1 )

At last some decided to put my ass in use Cheers

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Immigration should use this: take a bum print along with finger print, photo, DNA sample etc. We have to keep the scary foreign terrorists out, don't we?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

The Car of Tomorrow Recognizes Your Butt:

http://www.wired.com/autopia/2011/12/biometric-car-seat/

1 ( +2 / -1 )

I can clearly feel how Japan tries to strip us from our dignity. Starting with stripping our clothes for the buttocks check.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

The clothing issue is a no brainer.

Drive nude.

3 ( +3 / -1 )

"A team of Japanese scientists claim their pressure sensor sheet can accurately identify an individual’s backside..."

A bit of a premature announcement when...

"The recognition tends to be compromised by different clothes,” he said. “Sensors read different signals from a pair of trousers and a pair of jeans.”

In other words, it doesn't work, so why claim it's accurate?

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

The new fashion in slacks could be large rear window flaps.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

"Sorry, your ass is incompatible with this system."

5 ( +4 / -0 )

Is money really being spent wisely on research in Japan?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Soon Batman will want one for his Batmobile. I don't expect him to change his name, or the name of his car, though.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

In other news, I and my team of...ahem... crack researchers have decided to investigate the possibility of unique identification by closely studying the human penis. Please sign up here to take part in our research....

0 ( +3 / -2 )

What if I had a butt augmentation, will the 36 sensors still identify me? Funny post. I love it!

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Please sign up here to take part in our research....

There must be some sort of standardized butt measurement... Incredible when you come to think about it.

But I am sorry, I am not cutting 4 inches off of anything to fit into anyone's standard measurement (OK - you will had to have watched the movie to know what I mean - and if this is deleted - the moderators have watched the movie :-) )

0 ( +0 / -0 )

A new way in perverted pictures

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Bum?? Geez! I thought this article would be about winos?? Homeless?? Alcoholics?? But I guess a bum is British for el culo??

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The clothes problem is easily solved by merely having a flap in the back of your pants. Also handy when its time to use the toilet!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

@Farmboy you mean Buttman ;p

@Famillienproblem you mean those red underwear the cowboys wear in old western movies/series?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Could these people not spend more time on things much needed by society like a cure for cancer??

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

are they serious about this?

Guy1 "Hey guys, what did you make" Guy 2 "I made the bum scanner machine" Guy1 "?" (Runs out of the room)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Dumbass...skippu!

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

A he tai way of having a legitimate excuse for checking women's asses...what a waste of money Japanese research is.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

ooops...iPad keyboard and big fingers...missed the 'n' I hentai

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Who would like to volunteer their hands to test this theory out on some Mama-sans?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Can this thing handle Serena Williams' butt?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

@GDemmons

Try sitting on your iPad2 and give it ago or use Siri.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

If the experts here at JT are any indication, they shouldn't have announced their invention until they had worked out all the minor bugs. The major problem was determining whether an ID was possible at all. That's what has been accomplished. Nobody said this was ready for production yet.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I luv this group of scientists! I'm sure they r sacrificing their own butts for this!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

What will the system do if you suddenly have a toilet break feel, and the butt cheeks contract ... would the car just stop and shut down? EEEEEKKKK!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

This is the second time in a few days that JT gave prominence to bum related minor news (the other being gold smuggled in rectums).

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Why does so much of the "research" coming out of Japan sound like the result of the kind of pranks you might play in high school? Very odd...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

What a bunch of ass wipes!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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