Father says son forgives him after being left in Hokkaido forest

“So I tried to show him that I can be scary if seriously angry,” he said, citing what he described as a “father’s dignity”.

So, there it is! Intimidation is not discipline! It is bullying! Discipline is education, which this father obviously lacks! What an absolutely terrible thing to say to your kid!

And... no charges. SMH

Sure he's going to forgive the dad; the family is all the kid knows, and that is the sad part, the kid knows first hand what it's like to be alone now and would feel the safety of his home is better than being alone. So many times have I read and heard where the adults used the rationalization of "discipline" when in reality it was blatant abuse. We don't know the exact family dynamics and I would hate to see the kid immediately returned to the family only to end up dead in the future because of abuse. The so called authorities had better move carefully on this one, and if they do return the kid, I would suggest counseling and mandatory monitoring, and on the spot house inspection etc to ensure the safety of the kid. Wishful thinking me thinks since Japan is woefully inadequate when it comes to child abuse, DV, and stalking; heck the list goes on and on....

Children are truly a blessing.

Father says son forgives him

what other options this little child has? wishing him trouble free life at home, at school and in the society.

1 road? Chased the car? Got disorientated? Did he spin in a circle and get dizzy?

Some odd things here.

Plus, I would have to hear it live by the kid to believe he said he forgave his dad. Sounds more like dad and mom threatened him to be dropped off at a new location if he did not say that.

Unbelievable situation! Unbelievable parenting! Unbelievable solution!

So everything is ok then the kid forgave his parents hey why have we not seen the Mother here she is to blame for what happen as well.Charge them for the rescue mission hes lucky that he is not getting charged for abuse which it really is...

Charge them for the rescue mission

If you start charging people for rescue missions, they won't ask for help in getting rescued.

He's traumatized his son for life regardless of being "forgiven."

Kids are more durable than you think.

@cracaphat is right. Where is the mother in all this? News does not name her, give her age, profession, photo or any quotes from her. Isn't Japanese media interested in her pov too?

Yeah, it's not right to shame the father without shaming the mother too. Shame. Shame. SHAME!

DisillusionedJUN. 07, 2016 - 06:55AM JST So, there it is! Intimidation is not discipline! It is bullying! Discipline is education, which this father obviously lacks! What an absolutely terrible thing to say to your kid! How is leaving your kid alone "bullying"? Here is the definition of bullying, in case you need an refresher: "use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something."

He didn't force his son do anything, he just left him alone. May not have been the wisest of choices however definitely better than what a lot of the Japanese fathers, and mothers, do, beating their kid into a pulp.

I still find it very strange that police dogs din't pick up the kid's scent in a few hours. This whole debacle shows again how inept Japanese police and armed forces are. Anyone need a reminder about their impotence look up what happened with JAL flight 123 in 1985..

Of course the boy forgave his father - the boy believes HE is the guilty one. On another note, how strange is it that the boy was found by chance and not by the professionals conducting the search.

And some are more sensitive than you think too.

I haven't made any comments whatsoever on how sensitive I think kids can be, so that comment is baseless.

Not all kids are the same emotionally.

I agree, but you made an absolute declaration that the kid is traumatized for life. We've had no reporting as to whether or how much this kid is traumatized, so by making a judgement without this information, you haven't taken into account the fact that not all kids are the same emotionally. So you are contradicting yourself.

Abusers like that don't deserve a child back. Of course he "forgives" him. Poor kid is probably terrified of what will happen next.

you made an absolute declaration that the kid is traumatized for life

At seven years old, a sense of security is pretty damned important to kids. Conformity (to feel loved) is a major influence at that age too, hence forgiving the father.

Depending on the level of support he has from his parents - who aren't exactly flavour of the month - he could do OK or he could be severely damaged goods. Don't expect too much empathy from society, though.

You guys can argue about this all day.

Me?

I'm just gonna wait for the book to come out;)

Depending on the level of support he has from his parents... he could do OK or he could be severely damaged goods.

This is the accurate statement.

Forgive? Yes. Forget? Never. That kid was traumatized and he will never forget the ordeal.

@stranger land, nobody here neither cracaphat above or me are calling for shaming the mom. We are just curious who she is, her day job, age, and most important what role did she okay in this "reverse kidnapping." More of a "kidstrapping." the mom might have some enlightening and instructive things to say. No? No shaming is bring called for. Ask cravaphat what hE meant.

Play

strange that police dogs din't pick up the kid's scent in a few hours.

I'm not sure about how good search dogs are, and whether conditions like wind etc can limit their abilities, but this is something that struck me as odd, too.

I still find it very strange that police dogs din't pick up the kid's scent in a few hours. This whole debacle shows again how inept Japanese police and armed forces are.

It was raining so the scent and scent trail gets washed away. Plus you need special dogs for that (bloodhounds etc).

So not even charged with child neglect? Just chalk it off as an accident then. This is Japan 2016.

MocheakeJUN. 07, 2016 - 10:05AM JST Forgive? Yes. Forget? Never. That kid was traumatized and he will never forget the ordeal.

What he will never forget is not to throw rocks at people.

What he will never forget is not to throw rocks at people.

What he will never forget is not to throw rocks at people when Dad is watching and in a position to dump him alone in the woods.

Hang on, no, he's learned that Dad isn't going to ever dump him alone in the woods again, probably never even discipline him again, never raise his voice to him again no matter what mischief he gets up to, because Dad's lousy child-raising 'skills' have been plastered all over the media and Dad is terrified of getting it wrong again.

He's learned that Dad isn't the infallible being a 7-year-old needs his Dad to be.

What parent hasn't wanted to make good on their threat to "I'll toss you right out of the car if you don't stop acting up!" threat? I think this was just a case of typical parenting gone wrong. Pity on the parents. Besides, now the kid can use this for pity points for the rest of his life. "Remember that time you left me by the side of the road....?" Score!

I'm just gonna wait for the book to come out;)

I was thinking the same thing about how this story would make a good movie or book but all I we hear is a boy walking 5km to a hut and keeping warm between mattresses for 5 days. Throw in some fictional elements like animals, etc to keep the attention of the audience, then we may be talking Oscars lol

I am not saying the boy's journey wasn't amazing though. It is amazing what a 7-year old is capable of.

He seriously seems to have been repented of such discipline. He would not any more again.

What parent hasn't wanted to make good on their threat

If a parent doesn't make threats they have no intention of keeping in the first place, the situation doesn't arise. Empty threats are not good parenting. Threats that the parent ends up carrying out because they allowed the situation to get out of hand are even worse parenting.

Yes the method of punishment was questionable, and Yes it went totally wrong. Thankfully it turned out not too bad. But I'd much rather this happen than a parent opting to beat their child as punishment and having that go totally wrong.

If you child goes around throwing rocks at people and cars you gotta correct that. I'd assume "talking to the child" was the first step, which didn't work. In which case you gotta step up the correction method somehow.

I think its much more irresponsible for a parent to just give up on a child or let him do whatever he wants (in this case throw rocks at people and cars).

How many people here bashing on the dad actually have experience with trying to correct the behaviour of a child who just won't listen to reasoning?

If you child goes around throwing rocks at people and cars you gotta correct that. I'd assume "talking to the child" was the first step, which didn't work. In which case you gotta step up the correction method somehow.

The throwing stones incident had happened earlier in the day. There was no rock-throwing taking place at the time Yamato was dumped out of the car, and so no need for any 'correction' method to be 'stepped up'.

I think its much more irresponsible for a parent to just give up on a child or let him do whatever he wants (in this case throw rocks at people and cars).

The only choice is a)give up and let him do whatever he wants or z)leave him alone in bear-infested woods? There's a whole alphabet of alternatives between those two extremes.

If little Yamato's rock-throwing activities were so dire that drastic action was needed, then the parents could announce that the day's fun was over, put the family in the car and go straight home. Not wait until early evening when they were on their way home anyway and the naughty behaviour was no longer taking place.

trying to correct the behaviour of a child who just won't listen to reasoning?

Dump a child in the woods as punishment hours after he's stopped doing what he's being punished for?? Not much 'reasoning' going on there.

The throwing stones incident had happened earlier in the day.

I've seen it reported that it had happened a few times, not just that day.

"police... won’t file any criminal charges but have referred the case to a child welfare center... [who] will decide on whether the parents’ actions could be considered child abuse..."

In other words, in Japan they don't intervene unless the child is dead!!

it had happened a few times, not just that day

The reports I've seen mention him 'throwing stones during a visit to a park earlier that day': it wasn't happening at the time he was 'punished' to stop his behaviour. But if this stone-throwing behaviour was a recurring problem, doesn't that show the parents' 'corrections' hadn't worked so far and that stepping them up was unlikely to work?

if this stone-throwing behaviour was a recurring problem, doesn't that show the parents' 'corrections' hadn't worked so far

Yes

and that stepping them up was unlikely to work?

No. I'm not seeing that logic. Are you saying they should have continued at the same level even though it wasn't working?

Strangerland: "If you start charging people for rescue missions, they won't ask for help in getting rescued."

Don't forget the parents lied to the authorities to get their help. So, yes, they should absolutely be charged, because it began under false pretences on top of everything else.

"No. I'm not seeing that logic. Are you saying they should have continued at the same level even though it wasn't working?"

Of COURSE you don't see the logic! Stepping it up would do nothing for a kid hell-bent on not listening. It would only cause the child to lash out further, and the parents to keep having to step it up. You change tactics in such incidences, not just increase the punishment level. You yourself have said what they did was 'misguided', and now you're trying to justify what they did because the problem was reoccurring. Which is it? And don't back track and say you never said things that you did, just admit you were wrong for once.

Are you saying they should have continued at the same level even though it wasn't working?

Not at all. They should have tried something else. What's the point in continuing something that isn't working?

So, yes, they should absolutely be charged, because it began under false pretences on top of everything else.

They would have received help whether they lied or not. So the premise still stands - if you charge people for S&R, the next people will not ask for it, and people, maybe even children, will die.

Stepping it up would do nothing for a kid hell-bent on not listening.

Well you say that, but I lived the opposite myself. I was a bad kid, and my parents stepped up the escalation one time to the point that I stopped doing what they were trying to fix.

You change tactics in such incidences, not just increase the punishment level.

This makes no sense. If what they were doing before wasn't working, then something at the same level isn't going to work either.

You don't have kids, do you.

You yourself have said what they did was 'misguided'

It was.

now you're trying to justify what they did because the problem was reoccurring.

Please quote where I have tried to justify what they did. Once again you're making up things I've said, instead of reading what I actually wrote.

don't back track and say you never said things that you did

how could I do that? My words are right here for all to see. If I wrote it, there is no way to deny it. But what I can deny is saying the things that you have made up that I never said.

They should have tried something else.

They did.

it wasn't happening at the time he was 'punished' to stop his behaviour.

“So I tried to show him that I can be scary if seriously angry,” he said, citing what he described as a “father’s dignity”.

The more I read that father, the more I feel the whole disciplinary action was premeditated, they went into the mountain only to drop the boy there to give him, like he said, a "father's dignity" lesson and that is why he lied to the police. You usually don't discipline a child for something done hours/days previously...out of sudden on your way back home.

I was a bad kid, and my parents stepped up the escalation one time to the point that I stopped doing what they were trying to fix

No intention at all of dissing your parents, but if you were such a bad kid maybe the way they were trying to discipline you wasn't working, until they escalated things to the point where you were shocked/cowed/scared/stunned into obedience? Shock and awe? There are easier/pleasanter/more effective ways of raising kids not to be little horrors.

If what they were doing before wasn't working, then something at the same level isn't going to work either

It isn't a question of 'level'. It's a question of effectiveness. Why repeatedly use a lot of something that isn't very effective, when you can use a little bit of something that is effective, once or twice?

Yes, I do have kids.

"they went into the mountain only to drop the boy there"

Yes. And that is what I wrote when the story first broke. The parents woke up on the Saturday morning like we all do, thinking of what to do with their children. The parents may even have discussed together it on the FRIDAY NIGHT.

The seven-year-old boy thought that he was being taken out for the day by his loving parents but the only reason for the parents going to the mountain forest was to leave the child there.

I wrote it on day one, because I am a loving parent and I, like many others, wake up on Saturday morning and we all know exactly what the boy's parents were thinking.

All good parents can recognize a bad one.

The kid is in no position to judge - he's 7 years old and likely traumatised. Both parents are unfit and should be charged with negligence and placed under supervision, and charged for the cost of the search.

No intention at all of dissing your parents, but if you were such a bad kid maybe the way they were trying to discipline you wasn't working, until they escalated things to the point where you were shocked/cowed/scared/stunned into obedience? Shock and awe?

No diss at all, and that's exactly what they did - and while it's not the method I would use, it worked.

There are easier/pleasanter/more effective ways of raising kids not to be little horrors.

I agree. My method of child rearing is much different from my parents. But to be fair to them, what they did worked, and I turned out quite well, with solid ethics, and a strong sense of right and wrong. So while I prefer a different method for raising my kids, I have a hard time criticizing my parents too much for their methods.

And to be clear, I don't think that leaving the kid up in the mountain was a smart move. At the very least, they should have made sure that he was in sight of at least one of the parents at all times (drop off the mom to watch from around the corner or something). I think they screwed up largely, which is evidenced by the fact that they lost their kid for six days. But they were obviously trying, which is more than can be said of many parents.

Did the father even bother explaining why its bad to throw stones? It sounds like he was more preoccupied with putting on the big man act. He also lied to the police with the "vegetables" story to save his own skin, presumably in front of his other child, so score two for setting a bad example there.

Personally I would not penalize these parents, but I would make it perfectly clear than the next parents to pull this stunt get charged with abuse. The "it's tradition" excuse stops right here.

it's not the method I would use

Different times... :-)

they should have made sure that he was in sight of at least one of the parents at all times

That might have kept him physically safer, but until and unless he clocked Mum watching from around the corner, his terror and misery would have been the same; so it's still abuse, though perhaps not-quite-as-bad abuse.

Father says son forgives him after being left in Hokkaido forest

I'd like to hear that from the boy himself, if you don't mind, Mr Tanooka. You've already lied about how you lost your son. How am I to take this with less than a pinch of salt?

“So I tried to show him that I can be scary if seriously angry,” he said, citing what he described as a “father’s dignity”.

I have often said Bullying is very much a part of being Japanese, sad to see this father proving it some!

Abused kids and abducted kids and adults end up praising their abductees as the "power of the mind is unforgiving...." Charles Manson.

Good on the kid for magnanimously forgiving his dad!

I see that posters who were 100% sure the parents had killed their child are back in force. Now they are telling us the kid forgiving his dad has to be a pseudo stockholm syndrome.

Perhaps the kid has just realised things just went horribly wrong when he started walking and that the intended punishment wasn't that severe after all? And that his dad is actually a good dad whom he genuinely loves and who loves him back.

Obviously not according to JT forum detectives/ psychologists.

This father has a seriously over-developed sense of his "dignity" ,The kid, on the other hand, behaved with exemplary common sense, courage, perseverance and calmness. Not sure the parents deserve him!

Dude left his son to DIE in a Forrest?! Come on!! This is terrible parenting. I think Dr. Phil needs to get involved!

Dude left his son to DIE in a Forrest?!

If he had left him to die, he wouldn't have gone back to pick him up, nor would he have asked for help in finding him.

I don't get why so many of you consider this guy as an average parent that just lost his temper. You don't let a 7 yr old kid on a road. You don't drop anyone at a random place on a road in the woods of Hokkaido. That's totally irresponsible. A normal person wouldn't do that.

If he had left him to die, he wouldn't have gone back to pick him up, nor would he have asked for help in finding him.

So if you push someone in the stairs and then call the ambulance, your rescue effort erases the violence ? That becomes an accident ?

the mom might have some enlightening and instructive things to say.

Or she may also need help to defend herself against abuse.

police said Monday they won’t file any criminal charges

told you so a coupla days ago

I read that the boy reached the hut on the first day but wasn't found until the sixth day. Is this true? If so can anyone explain what he was doing for five days? Why didn't a patrolling soldier find him? Why didn't he approach someone? How did he find something to drink? Why didn't he try to find food? How did he go to the toilet? Etc etc. Maybe I've missed all this detail. Can someone please enlighten me.

This idiot don't deserve to be a father, his custodian status should be stripped

The father and mother should be jailed. Le it be a warning to other parents in Japan . You dont leave your child alone in the forest. Pedophiles, bears, vipers, dehydration, wandering off a cliff. Who knows. Jail.

This child is spoiled telling his father ‘You are a good dad. I forgive you.’ It should be the father who has to forgive the kid who threw rocks at people and cars.

The boy is mischievous but has a good heart. Proof that parents aren't bad people either.....now people should stop judging the family and let them to heal.

How did he find something to drink?

If you watched the newscast on TV, you would have seen that there was a working faucet right outside the hut he stayed in