Parents of chronically absent kids turn to support spaces to vent

Sure, I guess it's good parents can have somewhere to go to whinge and whine about why their kids aren't going to school, but why not focus resources and eyes on the actual root of the problem: the Japanese school system. Ridiculous club activities that eat up any free time students may have, the focus on rote learning which allows no room for creativity and independent thought, everything hinging on this and that exam, being harassed and bullied by both students and teachers, absurd school uniform rules etc. Who'd want to go to school if they have to endure years of such nonsense? Also, aren't there truancy laws in Japan?

Perfectly stated

After my first day of fist grade, when I was still 5, I cut classes, full day, from August to December.

I went to school everyday but hid behind the same classroom I was supposed to be in.

Only when the school sent somebody to investigate why I was not going to school, they found it was because the teacher had pulled my ear for not knowing how to read. There was no kinder in my days.

I even remember when they released everybody on the day of Kennedy’s assassination. So I went home too like a responsible pupil. I was assigned my own auntie at first and later a male teacher who was very nice. By 4th grade I was ahead of everybody else.

"You shouldn't take it as your child refusing to go to school but instead reaffirm their ability to make a decision."

Letting children make decisions never ends well. Especially those concerned with responsibility and that involve some effort.

Only when the school sent somebody to investigate why I was not going to school, they found it was because the teacher had pulled my ear for not knowing how to read. There was no kinder in my days.

I went to a Catholic school in Toronto in the 1960s. The Nuns would whack us in the head or across the back for not focusing or fooling around in class. As a result, I focused and didn't fool around in class. I also developed discipline and as a result excelled in school and have been able to overcome obstacles in life.

Whack us with a wooden pointer!

Non attendance is now above 1 in 15 kids in Japan. You cannot dismiss them as freaks or blame the parents as soft or incompetent. Some of non-attending children will be star or former star students or leading members of sports teams. My take is that the school system refuses the face this problem and ultimately sees such kids as "collateral damage", i.e., a price worth paying to avoid change. The number continues rising, it never used to be as high as 1 in 15, but the system's head is still in the sand and is clearly failing these children.

As a parent, this is a complete nightmare and means having a massive scene every morning in your home. Since more mothers work, this means a massive scene as both parents are busy getting ready and heading out to work. Maybe the odd parent out there doesn't give a monkey's and lets their kids go feral, but most will have expended on huge amounts of energy on cajoling and disciplining their kids in failed attempt after failed attempt to get them to go. Some will have used DV on their kids, which again probably hasn't worked and merely destroyed their relationship with the child. The story suggests that some kids might stop going just because they find all the noise unbearable. We can hear the lesson bell and some announcements at our daughter's school. It is over 2km away in a straight line, with roads we cannot hear in between.

If this happens to your child, by all means seek out a support group like those described in the story. My town is building a support center where kids can stay overnight, presumably due to domestic violence caused by or exacerbated by their nonattendance. I'll finish by saying whoever translated this (or rewrote Google translate) is an idiot for using expressions like "skip school" and "playing hooky" and Kyodo should find someone better. I can guarantee you that the original Japanese was not written with this level of insensitivity.

Geeter,

I went to a Catholic school in Toronto in the 1960s. The Nuns would whack us in the head or across the back for not focusing or fooling around in class. As a result, I focused and didn't fool around in class. I also developed discipline and as a result excelled in school and have been able to overcome obstacles in life.

You're a teacher, right? Is that how you keep your students focused and not fooling around, or have you developed better ways than physical abuse? Or do your students remain unfocused and fool around?

Back in my day (late 70s to 80s), my parents told us kids that unless we're sick, we're going to school, even if they have to drag us to school. They were strict and education was very important to them. If there was a social problem at school, they were fair to discuss it (even when it was with a teacher or the Principal). As a father of 3, my wife and I pretty much do the same thing. However, we tell our kids the importance of education by example and experiences. 2 of my kids aren't the most studious kids (who really is), but they do try and do their homework. I tell my wife (Japanese) that we don't have "hikikomori" in this family and no one is that.

Letting children make decisions never ends well

Actually it does, very frequently. In fact the recommendation of professionals in mental health, child rearing, etc. is for adults to help children make decisions.

 I also developed discipline and as a result excelled in school and have been able to overcome obstacles in life.

Better results are obtained with forms of discipline that do not depend on imposing rules by physical violence on children. One frequent problem of people that defend child abuse by saying "I was subjected to the same thing when I was a child and I turned out well" is that they fail to recognize that defending physical violence when it has been long demonstrated to be completely unnecessary means they did not actually turned out well at all.

Geeter,

I went to a Catholic school in Toronto in the 1960s. The Nuns would whack us in the head or across the back for not focusing or fooling around in class. As a result, I focused and didn't fool around in class. I also developed discipline and as a result excelled in school and have been able to overcome obstacles in life.

You're a teacher, right? Is that how you keep your students focused and not fooling around, or have you developed better ways than physical abuse? Or do your students remain unfocused and fool around?

I also went to Catholic schools back in the 70s and 80s. Yes, I saw some of my classmates get the paddle and/or ruler. That's when capital punishment was legal in the US. Not anymore. I never got it, but I got an occasional crack by my dad. I'm a teacher, but I don't use this with my kids and students. I show by example, whether a student forgot their homework or project. The homeroom teacher and I contact the student's parents and bring them in with their son/daughter.

Non attendance is now above 1 in 15 kids in Japan. You cannot dismiss them as freaks or blame the parents as soft or incompetent.

Yes, you can. I just did

That's when capital punishment was legal in the US

"corporal" punishment

Capital punishment is the death penalty.

Better results are obtained with forms of discipline that do not depend on imposing rules by physical violence on children.

I can see the results. According to kohakuebisu, Non attendance is now above 1 in 15 kids in Japan.

素晴らしい

Keep up the stellar work, parents! Let's shoot for 1 in 5!

You're a teacher, right? Is that how you keep your students focused and not fooling around, or have you developed better ways than physical abuse? Or do your students remain unfocused and fool around?

No, but I can tell you from the teachers I know in Canada, that the classroom has become disfunctional due to unruly kids. This is true of America as well. As a parent, with 5 kids...one on full scholarship at University of Tsukuba, and the others excelling in sports and in life (my eldest son, who went to a trade school secured a loan with his high school friend to buy a lot in Kobe...they buy cars in number at auction, detail them and ship them overseas for profit. In 3 years they'd paid their loan off in full) due to the strict discipline of their Japanese upbringing. There were no "I don't feel like going to school today" thoughts entering my kids' heads. As a result, they're not going to end up with minimum wage, labour intensive jobs that will make their lives a living hell...because they develped the discipline required to work their way though arduous moments in life.

because they develped the discipline required to work their way though arduous moments in life.

Job well done Mckluskie

Geeter,

So, your kids succeeded because you disciplined them physically or because you developed a way to keep them focused and not fool around without physically abusing them? I'm sorry, it's not clear from your post what your point is. I asked three questions and got a single, "No."

...and just to clarify my position, I think that kids' behaviour inside and outside the classroom has gotten worse in countries that have banned corporal punishment at school and at home. Which includes Japan, I think. Happy to be corrected on that. However, I do think there are better methods that don't require physical punishment that parents and teachers should really take the time to learn.

Yes, you can. I just did

You can't validly do so, anybody can be mistaken on purpose but that does not improve anything.

I can see the results.

No you can't, you are assuming that because child abuse is no longer tolerated then anything negative you can find must be because of this lack of physical violence. In order to actually "see" the results you would need to eliminate causes of the absenteeism different from just low discipline, confirm the that parents are using the well known effective methods to discipline children that don't require abuse, etc. etc.

You are not doing any of those things, you are just assuming things that fit your preconceptions.

When asked to respond on a seven-point scale from "very much" to "not at all," to questions such as "Does loud noise make you uncomfortable?" and "Are you affected by other people's moods?" students who had played hooky showed a clear tendency toward sensory sensitivity than those who stayed in school.

I'm reaching here, but I'm guessing that those students likely play video games and / or watch movies loudly. So I don't fully agree with loud noise being as much of a factor as the researcher suggests. But one thing I have noticed after 20+ years at high school is that there is a lot of "barking" by teachers. The minute you enter the school, teachers are using loud voices about uniforms and not being late. They also encourage everyone to greet in a loud voice. So even I, can sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all.

The teacher's room, though easy to talk to everyone, is also a noisy place. Everyone is together. I have to listen to everyone's phone calls, everyone talking to each other. It gets to be so much that I occassionally escape to the library for some peace and quiet. And suprisingly, I have found other teacher's seeming hiding here and there. And don't get me started on the teacher who sits in the toilet stall for a long, long time. I'm 100% sure he is sleeping there.

I'm reaching here, but I'm guessing that those students likely play video games and / or watch movies loudly. 

There is a problem with that guess, even if (exaggerating) 50% of the students had sensory sensitivity, and 50% of the students liked to play loud videogames, it could be that both groups are mutually exclusive or that only a tiny percent overlaps.

Of course the addition of being affected by other people's moods can make the noise acceptable or not as well, with a loud but inoffensive game explosion being much more easily tolerated than vicious gossip or threats said with a reasonable volume of voice.

The story is about Japanese kids attending Japanese schools. What happens at Catholic schools in other countries is of little relevance. You will never understand Japan with cultural blinkers on.

As a result, they're not going to end up with minimum wage, labour intensive jobs that will make their lives a living hell

It is clear in Japan at least that karoshi happens most in elite companies where life is "a living hell". It is not people in "minimum wage, labour intensive jobs" that are topping themselves. The easiest route to happiness is to stop obsessing over status and the need to brag about yourself or your kids.

The beautiful, respectful, polite Japanese culture is sick.

This contradiction never ends, no matter how long you live in this place.

Kids afraid of going to school because they don't want to be bullied, ostracized, ignored.

This is pretty much the only thing I fear when living in this place.

Giving all the love, attention and discipline of this world to our son..... so he might end up stuck with a sad kid with inferiority complex in his class.

Reason #1 we started wrestling on the futon since he was 2, 3 years old, he might get boxing classes next year as well, "don't take sh from anyone, you hear me?".

That's the advice I'll be giving to my son.

From what I hear, japanese bullies are pretty much spineless, so the moment you fight back (it has to be done from start) they all recoil and go find someone else to bully.

Kids that don’t want to go to school is nothing new. Parents who let them not go to school is.

At the risk of over-generalizing, I've recently noticed that some of the absenteeism is related to avoiding certain people and places, or escaping the exam system.

Over the past couple of years I've had about two dozen or so students come to my university from non-traditional high schools. Mostly, correspondence high schools or "schools" that are nothing more than three floors of an office building with 50 or so students. At the moment there are five such "high schools" near Okayama Station. All of the students are academically competent (good enough to get in to a uni) and socially active. Some have even excelled and gone on to study abroad and grad school. Speaking with them, most said they didn't go to a regular high school because of 人間関係 - which I took as a euphemism for bullying. Once in college and away from their tormentors, they were able to be sociable without fear. Others said they couldn't pass the exam to their preferred public school and that the non-traditional school was cheaper than a full-on private school. Not sure what options exist for elementary and JHS other than homeschooling, but there are options for HS kids.

It is clear in Japan at least that karoshi happens most in elite companies where life is "a living hell". It is not people in "minimum wage, labour intensive jobs" that are topping themselves. The easiest route to happiness is to stop obsessing over status and the need to brag about yourself or your kids.

The majority of Japanese work standard 40 hour work weeks. There's a reason Japan Rail cites the evening rush hour between 5 and 6 pm as the busiest in train stations throughout Japan...that's when the MAJORITY is returning home. The best way to avoid a black company or a sector in which overtime is excessive is to develop your analytical skills so that you have the wherewithal to figure out what company or sector not to join. Also, I'm quite happy bragging about my kids. They're awesome! They're successful! They are in large part due to their Japanese upbringing in which they've developed a strong sense of responsibility and discipline. If you think working minimum wage, labour intensive jobs for 40 plus years is going to bring your kids happiness...have at it. Encourage them...my guess is you won't. Call it a hunch

Kids afraid of going to school because they don't want to be bullied, ostracized, ignored.

We have 5 kids, all of whom are either in or have been through the public school system, none of whom have been bullied, ostracised or ignored. All have been treated with genuine care and attention. We couldn't be happier with the education they're received in Japan. In Toronto, Canada where I'm from, things were much different, especially if you were say a Pakistani kid like my friend Asif Dar who ended up boxing for Pakistan in the Olympics because Canada rejected him. His father put him in boxing because he got the crap kicked out of him almost daily after school. Check out the lyrics to the Rush song, "Subdivisions"...to get a clue as to how life is like for young people growing up in Canada..."conform or be cast out"...Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson who went to the same high school said they had to go though a "gauntlet" of bullies daily! The bullying in Japan pales to that in North America...It's not even close!

Kids that don’t want to go to school is nothing new. Parents who let them not go to school is.

Bingo!

I can see the results.

No you can't,

So, you think classroom decorum was less of an issue in the 1950s and 60s that it is now?

Yes...I can see the results

and just to clarify my position, I think that kids' behaviour inside and outside the classroom has gotten worse in countries that have banned corporal punishment at school and at home

That is crystal clear

It is clear in Japan at least that karoshi happens most in elite companies where life is "a living hell". It is not people in "minimum wage, labour intensive jobs" that are topping themselves.

According to the available data the following are the sectors in which karoshi is highest:

Construction:

Known for demanding physical labor, long hours, and tight deadlines. 

Transportation:

Drivers often face long shifts, irregular schedules, and pressure to meet delivery times. 

Accommodation and Eating Services:

Hospitality roles can involve extended working hours, especially during peak seasons, with high customer expectations. 

Healthcare:

Medical professionals, particularly in high-pressure specialties, can experience burnout due to demanding schedules and patient care responsibilities.

"demanding physical labor, long hours and tight schedules"

Stay in school kids!

So, you think classroom decorum was less of an issue in the 1950s and 60s that it is now?

I explained in detail why your claim is not true, you are assuming something that you have no evidence for, only because it fits with the idea that you had from the beginning. Unless you can prove the effect is not produced by something else, and that the children that have the problem are the same that are educated with in the way the experts recommend you are just assuming causes and effects.

That is crystal clear

Yet unjustified and invalid. It is perfectly possible to educate properly and without problem a child without subjecting it to abuse, yet this is the excuse people try to use for anything they observe and don't like, it is as valid as saying that the behavior is worse because it is no longer acceptable to burn them as a punishment.

I explained in detail why your claim is not true, you are assuming something that you have no evidence for,

The evidence is in behaviour which has gotten out of control. It's the same as in families with a single mom. No threat of reprisal from father...kids run rampant over mother and the result is an increase in crime in the community.

It is perfectly possible to educate properly and without problem a child without subjecting it to abuse

No one said anything about "abuse"

Many of these kids likely have undiagnosed developmental disabilities or learning disorders. They deserve to be educated in environments in which their sensitivities and learning needs are accommodated.

Father absence as a predictor of violence is robust for both male and female violence.

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from single-parent homes

Most adolescents who enter the justice system have suffered from parental abandonment, substance abuse, or a dysfunctional household.

In a study of 75 juvenile delinquents, 66% experienced fatherlessness, 20% had never lived with their father, and 25% had an alcoholic father.

It has been reported that fatherless children are anywhere from 3 to 20 times more likely to be incarcerated than children raised in dual-parent households 

71% of teachers and 90% of law enforcement officials state that the lack of parental supervision at home is a major factor that contributes to violence in schools.

In a study of 56 school shootings, only 10 of the shooters (18%) were raised in a stable home with both biological parents. 82% grew up in either an unstable family environment or grew up without both biological parents together.

Some data suggests 72 percent of adolescent murderers and 70 percent of long-term prison inmates come from fatherless homes

Children who feel closeness to their father are 80% less likely to spend time in jail 75% percent of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers are from fatherless homes.

Of America’s roughly 2 million prisoners, over 800,000 are parents—and 92 percent of those are fathers. 

Around 2.7 million children have at least one parent in prison

https://americafirstpolicy.com/issues/fact-sheet-fatherhood-and-crime

The homicide rate in the United States was 5.1 per 100,000 people in 1950, but increased to 10.4 per 100,000 in 1980. Violent crime and property crime both increased significantly between 1960 and 1991.

In 1950, only 7% of parents living with children were single.

By 1980, the number of children living with only their mother had more than doubled. 

Odd how those numbers mirror the violent crime rate...Well, it's not odd at all really as one significantly influences the other

I personally wouldn't boast about my children's progress

I would...and DO...incessantly! The greatest gift in life is our children. I'm not shy to say how great mine are because they are.

The evidence is in behaviour which has gotten out of control

Still not, this "evidence" would also prove the problem is not being able to burn kids. In reality you require much more (as said twice already) before your claim has any value, you have no such thing, therefore your conclusion is invalid.

No one said anything about "abuse"

Physical punishment is abuse. You clearly mentioned abuse.

Physical punishment is abuse. You clearly mentioned abuse.

There's a difference between a timely slap on the hand to prevent a child from persisting in doing something dangerous and an alcoholic father kicking the crap out of his kids.

One is abuse, the other is prevention from harm...the lack thereof would be abuse

Still not, this "evidence" 

Yep, it is

"You shouldn't take it as your child refusing to go to school but instead reaffirm their ability to make a decision."

This is also abuse. It's a dereliction of duty by which the child will suffer because their parent threw in the towel because it's emotionally draining to make a child go to school. It's much easier to throw your hands up in defeat and say "do whatever you like". THAT is abuse

There's a difference between a timely slap on the hand to prevent a child from persisting in doing something dangerous and an alcoholic father kicking the crap out of his kids.

Physical punishment is abuse by law, both in the US and in Japan, of course there are degrees of abuse, but anything that amounts to physical punishment is abuse and illegal, it does not matter if you don't want to recognized it as such, that only would make you wrong.

One is abuse, the other is prevention from harm...the lack thereof would be abuse

Both are abuse, it is terribly easy to find non violent options that allow for the same result (prevent harm) without any kind of physical punishment, so by definition this is unnecessary, abuse.

Yep, it is

the moment you could not even formulate an argument you are recognizing that it is not, the same as it is not evidence that the problem increased because it is no longer acceptable to burn children as punishment.

This is also abuse

Not necessarily, this can be a measure that is justified according to the personal situation of the family involved and can even lead to much more permanent resolution of the problem. If a valid authority says the particular case is unjustified then (and only then) it can be claimed that this is not in the best interest of the child.

It's much easier to throw your hands

And hit, slap, pinch, etc. etc. instead of using the non-violent options that also allow for proper discipline, unfortunately some people are too lazy to even think this is possible, and others are too damaged from their own abuse (and did not turned up to be "all right") to recognize that physical punishment is definitely abuse, so they keep using it.

most said they didn't go to a regular high school because of 人間関係 - which I took as a euphemism for bullying.

人間関係 means human relations. At our school, whenever this term gets brought up it's in reference as to how to best make an environment conducive for the kids to feel comfortable and get along. Care for your fellow student starts in elementary school, where kids are tasked with the responsibility of looking out for each other on the way to school, with the older kids leading the younger ones to keep them out of danger.

the moment you could not even formulate an argument you are recognizing that it is not, 

The argument had already been made. Behaviour in the classroom has deteriorated since the abolition of corporal punishment. Kids are more likely to fear a physical reprisal from their fathers than they are a scolding from their mothers...hence the huge spike in the violent crime rate due to a lack of a father in the home.

unfortunately some people are too lazy to even think this is possible,

This is what's "lazy"...

"You shouldn't take it as your child refusing to go to school but instead reaffirm their ability to make a decision."

Soft parents breed and raise soft kids. A lot of people need to put their adult pants on and take control. Enough of the kids running the house.

Stop burning kids .!.

You have refuted zero of my arguments, even in your new replies you could not argue anything at all.

What arguments? All I see is someone mewling like a kitten sucking on a hind teat about burning children. Run, don't walk to the nearest bookstore and get yourself a textbook on rudimentary English grammar. Perhaps your parents didn't make you go to school?

That is your argument, abuse that is not being done now automatically becomes the reason for the problem, so it needs to come back, that is your whole reasoning.

My argument is that child-rearing requires instilling discipline in the child. Giving in to a child's whims such as not wanting to go to school is a dereliction of duty which negatively affects the child. That and classrooms had far better decorum and far less delinquent behaviour in the 1950s and 60s when schools were more strict and when there was corporal punishment which served as a deterrent. I have no idea where you came up with burning children.