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Japanese firm offers spouses apartments to avoid 'coronavirus divorce'

71 Comments
By Philip FONG

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71 Comments
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God forbid you need to spend a few extra hours with the person you married.

28 ( +35 / -7 )

4400/day is not cheap. That's about the price of an average business hotel. If you are renting month to month, it'd be cheaper just to get a one room apartment.

Or better yet, just spend time in a different room than your spouse is in.

6 ( +15 / -9 )

So what one is saying is “I want your money but not your companionship.”?

22 ( +24 / -2 )

So basically when couple has the opportunity to share moment together.., the couple fails. we think the couple was not based on LOVE at all from the beginning. as Japanese salary-men are seen as wallets here. you can understand the situation. NO JOB - NO MONEY - WIFE GET NERVOUS - DV - ....

25 ( +28 / -3 )

my sympathies for Japanese women who have to put up with cr@p from the men they marry. the existence of a business like this would just suggest that this is very widespread. I wish women like this would be given a better future and men who are like this deserve to live alone

-27 ( +5 / -32 )

So what one is saying is “I want your money but not your companionship.”?

Basically sums up how many Japanese women feel about being married.

31 ( +34 / -3 )

So many scummy little businessmen here. No morals.

-6 ( +12 / -18 )

This could be good for some working couples living in tight quarters. One colleague's spouse works for a competitor and there's no way they can both work in the same apartment and not hear each others calls and meetings. They tried it out, using head-sets, etc., but finally had to work out a schedule for one or the other to commute to their office each day so only one is working from home at a time. If these apartments were closer than the office (which in our case is nearly deserted), they might want to make use of them.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

The world has gone stark raving mad. (I find myself thinking this more and more every day.)

11 ( +13 / -2 )

Got honey, got no money not funny, so drink lots of rum and become a real bum.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

You've got to wonder, why on earth did these people get married in the first place. Sad.

12 ( +15 / -3 )

Basically sums up how many Japanese women feel about being married.

Yup. A lot of Japanese women simply want an ATM and sperm donor in a husband. After the child(ren) have been conceived, the dude is simply an ATM. It’s sickening and detrimental to women gaining equality because a lot of them love staying at home all day and spending the money their husbands make.

19 ( +25 / -6 )

You've got to wonder, why on earth did these people get married in the first place. Sad.

When dating, Japanese women present themselves as extremely viable partners, but as soon as that marriage certificate is signed, their true colors shine through brightly. It’s called false advertising and bait and switch in the legal world.

23 ( +29 / -6 )

There's no excuse for leaving your kids. There has to be another way.

12 ( +13 / -1 )

When dating, Japanese women present themselves as extremely viable partners, but as soon as that marriage certificate is signed, their true colors shine through brightly. It’s called false advertising and bait and switch in the legal world.

Let's not put all the blame on the women here now! Far too many guys wine and dine their ladies, and turn into overweight, overbearing, couch potatoes, who do nothing more with their wives than make a few babies, and that's it too!

This is typical all over the world, and not just limited to Japan!

Sadly however people here are over generalizing about "all" Japanese.

I have been married well over 30 years, yeah some days it aint paradise, some days we fight, and some days we barely look at each other, but everything works its way out!

Anyone who gets married and thinks that everything is going to be heaven everyday, shouldnt be getting married in the first place!

10 ( +18 / -8 )

I love my wife to death and even after 17 years of marriage, she’s still just as hot as the day I met her. We’re not perfect, we get into fights, but we then take a time out, regroup, apologize...maybe sleep on the couch for a night and then everything is good again. Some women do want that ATM security, I know a looooot of women like that, but I lucked out and met a woman that just cares about me. I have friends that are struggling right now and have a lot of friends that divorced, too many to count.

Sadly however people here are over generalizing about "all" Japanese

It’s not all Japanese women, this is true, but it would be a lie to say that Japanese women do have a reputation for being control freaks in the marriage, kind, sweet and caring and then become more interested in making sure that enough money comes into the household, the relationships sour, the kids take every priority, the romance and sex are null and voided and many will continue on with this stagnant state until the kids are grown or until 25 years elapses and the wife can cash in on her husband’s pension entitlements and that’s sad.

20 ( +22 / -2 )

Let's not put all the blame on the women here now! Far too many guys wine and dine their ladies, and turn into overweight, overbearing, couch potatoes, who do nothing more with their wives than make a few babies, and that's it too!

It’s the old chicken and egg conundrum. Are the men you describe reacting to the women, or the women reacting to the men? My anecdotal evidence suggests it’s the former.

This is typical all over the world, and not just limited to Japan!

It may be, but in Japan is sure seems extreme. Sexless marriages and rampant cheating. Appear to be the norm here.

6 ( +10 / -4 )

Anyone who gets married and thinks that everything is going to be heaven everyday, shouldnt be getting married in the first place!

These people are either delusional or on drugs.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

It’s not all Japanese women, this is true, but it would be a lie to say that Japanese women do have a reputation for being control freaks in the marriage, kind, sweet and caring and then become more interested in making sure that enough money comes into the household, the relationships sour, the kids take every priority, the romance and sex are null and voided and many will continue on with this stagnant state until the kids are grown or until 25 years elapses and the wife can cash in on her husband’s pension entitlements and that’s sad.

Spot on.

5 ( +9 / -4 )

The American divorce rate is higher at 53% compared with Japan at 365.

Resolve all personal issues before sunset and bed.

2 ( +6 / -4 )

The American divorce rate is higher at 53% compared with Japan at 36%.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

The American divorce rate is higher at 53% compared with Japan at 36%.

And there are many, many reasons for it. Divorce has carried a heavy stigma in Japan for a long time. It wasn’t until 2006 that divorcing Japanese wives were entitled to half their husband’s pensions. Etcetera.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

The American divorce rate is higher at 53% compared with Japan at 36%.

But for the size population of Japan in comparison it almost works out to being the same and don’t forget we didn’t even take affairs into account and on both sides which is extremely high in Japan and goes back to the point I mentioned why a lot of women stick with their husbands for at least a minimum for 25 years after that they can cash out and do what they want and are financially and get a cut of their husbands pension so they’re set and that’s another reason why you don’t see a lot of divorces in Japan.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

I agree with Chips Start unfortunately for ladies you are a walking ATM and sperm donor. Worst are that poor gaikokujin who thinks that in their case will be different but it's almost totally same. I'm not saying it's 100% like that but the % is quite high!

6 ( +8 / -2 )

But for the size population of Japan in comparison it almost works out to being the same

Works our to the same number of people, but that’s irrelevant given it’s the percentage of marriages ending in divorce that matters.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

bass4funk

But for the size population of Japan in comparison it almost works out to being the same

you always mistakenly make that claim. Nothing to do with population sizes. 53% of American marriages end in divorce. 36% of Japanese marriages end in divorce. Same as rates per 100,000 people are nothing to do with the actual size of the populations.

So no it isn't the same! American rates are 17% higher.

American's too have affairs outside of marriage, husbands and wives.

Divorce in Japan is more easy than America.

https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/Major_Causes_Of_Divorce

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Pukey2Today  08:41 am JST

You've got to wonder, why on earth did these people get married in the first place. Sad.

Like with many things, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Of the 660,613 marriages registered in 2013, 21,488 (or about 1 in 30) were between a Japanese and a foreign national, according to the Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare. Of the 1 million children born in Japan in 2013, 2.2% had one or more non-Japanese parent.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

And there are many, many reasons for it. Divorce has carried a heavy stigma in Japan for a long time. 

Like I said earlier, not in so many words, but Japan isnt special in this regard either.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

So many dumb comments here. It's simple: many people here live in very small low quality and often quite messy places. Suddenly put any two adults and a child or two in such a place, ask them to work for 8 hours (the wife is not necessarily a housewife) with the kid bored and restless, and the result is a very difficult living situation. Nothing to do with all the tired cliches most are posting here. And dare I say even you, dear internet person, might wish you could have a private place every now and then to do some work, recharge and calm down the home situation.

6 ( +9 / -3 )

Like I said earlier, not in so many words, but Japan isnt special in this regard either.

The stigma in Japan is far greater than in the US, which was the comparator being used.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

It's been a few weeks of this, maybe a month and a week.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Many international marriages, not only Japanese/Non Japanese end in divorce. Probably a higher rate than nationals from the same culture.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

If they marry the oldest son, or only son, it is the Japanese custom to move in with the in-laws. Once the child is raised, the wife will probably want out. Many things here are not coded in law, but might as well be. Its just understood, thats how it is, and will not change.

Many marriages here are just an arrangement. Husband works, wife plays as she gets burned out on staying around the house. Kind of a weird society, honestly speaking.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Despite its highly-educated female population, Japan ranked 121 out of 153 countries in the World Economic Forum's 2020 gender gap index,

What highly-educated female population means? This is not true actually. Women in Japan actually gets relatively low level of education in comparison to other industrialized nations since most of them do not continue an education for highly qualified degrees. The vast majority of them spent a few years in undergraduate programs basically doing little and learning nothing, and not getting any more educated and qualified than what they were in high school. The number of women in Japan getting in science and engineering or in general going to graduate schools is low and dramatically even lower for Phd programs. I spent 16 years in academic and I know it well.

primarily because of its poor showing in political representation.

Again not true. It's not only political representation but all high positions requiring high qualifications (even though I doubt that Japanese politicians are any qualified anyway). Science and engineering, academic positions in universities, executive positions in companies, etc. I know Hokkaido University and Tokyo University well, the representation of women in academic postions in these institutions (from assistant professor to professor) is abyssal, just shameful. A study a few years ago actually put Japan in the same level as Iran for the representation of women in academic institutions. So don't say me that it's primarily political representation.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

maybe sleep on the couch for a night

LOL what.

No way my wife is kicking me out of my own bed.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

Many international marriages, not only Japanese/Non Japanese end in divorce. Probably a higher rate than nationals from the same culture.

Most do, because the partner will be on the losing end; its not a reciprocal relationship. With Japanese, its all binary so allot of sacrifice is made by the partner. That is not how many cultures operate, so the partner calls it quits, or just endures.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

The reason that the Japan divorce rate is lower than the US is because in the US people will generally speaking try to get out of a miserable situation. However, Japanese culture is to gaman and endure it until your mind explodes into nano particles.

7 ( +8 / -1 )

The vitriol and criticism from most of the comments here clearly show people have no respect for other cultures and lifestyles.

"Marriage", despite a word being used in many countries and cultures, rarely ever means the same exact thing. Even in places where people grew up in a shared socio-cultural upbringing, there are differences on how they see and value a relationship.

While yes, my too-traditional and 'conservative' upbringing has made me accustomed to thinking that a marriage should be certain way. But I have enough self awareness to know that I can't expect to enforce my own standards on other people. Who am I to criticize the measures that people take to keep their own families and selves happy?

If there are relationships that can be helped or improved by allowing the couple to have some space (which is a decision they will mutually have to agree on anyway), then this company is providing them a chance to have that option in relative safety during this period of crisis (we are having a global pandemic after all), then why not?

Japan's culture does not produce perfect couples -but the same can be said of many other cultures around the world. What matters is that each culture tries to find its own way to grow and improve. This is a step in that direction.

-3 ( +5 / -8 )

Next time will be spouses to avoid corona loneliness.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Daito-hak

Spot on.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I am guessing this is more of a disguise for DV victims..

0 ( +1 / -1 )

It helps to have a basement or the room on the first level next to the car - a man cave where you have your beer and some peace and quiet. You go up to the living room on the 2nd floor and you get talked at ^ ^

10 ( +10 / -0 )

However, Japanese culture is to gaman and endure it until your mind explodes into nano particles.

Very true, but its understood that there is a stigma to bekkyo or divorce, so they instead have affairs in order to make it all work and go around.

Many Japanese guys want to get posted abroad just to get out of marriages.

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Problem is that too many women here marry for the annual salary not for rove...

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Japanese ladies were brought up that way for many generations and its totally understandable. Guys have to provide for the family, ladies stay at home and take care of the kids.

The problem is that very often ladies do not understand that the world is changing. That in times of corona-virus their husbands has to work from home or might even lose their jobs.

And I tell ya, in Japan if you miss one time to provide for the family your Japanese wife will never forget that. You will lose your credibility (kind of a bank) and be tagged as loser husband that can't even provide for the family.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

So men pays for it.

But don't know why the women get all the goods in the end. Men always working hard for his family but gets nothing After divorce. Instead have to pay huge amount to a woman and to child.

Why no equality on this? There is still no answer from Woman Rights. Even some lousy men support this.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

the current crisis is giving people a chance to realize that marriage and monogamy aren't precisely ideal...

let's face it people, marriage is just a means to an end...love and romance are not necessarily tied to it.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

@tossihero

the door swings both ways mate.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I do feel sorry for Japanese women who like a lot of passion in their life" Maybe they do need a place of their own"

0 ( +1 / -1 )

How about Coronavirus marriage or coronavirus baby? That seems to be a much larger problem. Although, maybe the increase in deaths will help balance out the population inbalance. Nah.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Japanese ladies were brought up that way for many generations and its totally understandable. Guys have to provide for the family, ladies stay at home and take care of the kids. 

The problem is that very often ladies do not understand that the world is changing. That in times of corona-virus their husbands has to work from home or might even lose their jobs. 

And I tell ya, in Japan if you miss one time to provide for the family your Japanese wife will never forget that. You will lose your credibility (kind of a bank) and be tagged as loser husband that can't even provide for the family

So true and this situation doesn’t help, but divorce is still seen as a taboo in this country, so a lot of couples are patient particularly the women that want out and that just keep an eye on the clock until they can punch out.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I love my wife very much.

But unfortunately she can't keep her hands off me now at home all the time...

Day and night all she wants is ...

Well you know. .....loven...

I need time to catch my breath and rest.... Shes treating me like a peice of meat... im not a machine for god sake....

10 ( +10 / -0 )

It helps to have a basement or the room on the first level next to the car - a man cave where you have your beer and some peace and quiet. You go up to the living room on the 2nd floor and you get talked at ^ ^

100%. If there is a sun room attached, thats a bonus in winter. Need a shop also.

The guys that got it figured out, have a 2 or 3 story house or bldg, some even have rooms in other cities. Get all that, your living good...)

Ive seen some poor Japanese guys, gut out a kei van, park it next to the sea and do some hobby. Such a life it is.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Covid from Corona Virus Disease changed to Divorce?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

 and that just keep an eye on the clock until they can punch out.

You have to be careful with that because some of them are just silently waiting for the "count down" That is until their parents pass, then they take the house and assets. Your life and dreams are all silly noise to them.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

 I mentioned why a lot of women stick with their husbands for at least a minimum for 25 years after that they can cash out and do what they want and are financially and get a cut of their husbands pension so they’re set and that’s another reason why you don’t see a lot of divorces in Japan.

ha ha thats very true...you know well...)

But...if they are married to the oldest son, around that 25 year mark, its time to move back to the in laws as they are too old to care for themselves, so okusan will dread that. the obligation/guilt is kind of heavy.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Man cave where you have your beer and some peace and quiet...is a necessity in any marriage!

4 ( +4 / -0 )

To be honest, one of the best things that has come out of this whole situation is me being able to spend more time with my wife. She's Japanese, and she loves having me at home more. Sure we all need our personal space from time to time, but we are really enjoying being at home together.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Cameron,

When is your second wedding anniversary?

4 ( +4 / -0 )

SpitfireToday 04:59 pm JST

Cameron,

When is your second wedding anniversary?

Ha ha. Leave him alone, he's happy.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

@robertpearce

top post laugh of the lockdown so far thanks :)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The marriage had long been over, Corona V is just an excuse. Wake up people.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Holy mother... This kind of headlines makes me feel "haha funny joke.. Oh no wait, it's real". Only japan. Always. btw, I'm glad at least this kind of services exist, because back at my country there is nowhere to go if you have little money. The dark side of the lockdown unfortunately is domestic violence at every angle, not only wives. Children, girlfriend, grannies. It's something governments needs to actively tackle it. Oh well

0 ( +1 / -1 )

unbelievable... these Japanese couples who wanted to divorce because of this stress caused by "staying at home" are not deserving to get married. 我慢しろ

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Cameron: Same situation -- fam is much happier with me being home, cooking, helping with cleaning (I can do it all myself, but my better half has a certain way of doing some things and just re-does them when I do), and just spending time together laughing, loving, and a whole lot more. It's going to be a shock, going back to the regular routine, though I still do a lot of work at home and some work out of the house, too (that's my alone time, basically). I really can't understand the shock looks when I explain that we often call retirement (real retirement, not the Japanese "I'm retired but still working full-time at the same company for the half the pay" retirement) the "second honeymoon" in a lot of Western countries, when a lot of couples reignite old passions, or the full-throated laughter of some people here, usually women, when I say, "Oh, you went on a trip! Was it with your husband/wife?" Anyway, when Koizumi (I think it was) changed the law so women could get half of a man's pension if he was retired and they divorced in later life, a LOT of men here got VERY nervous, and Japan became the country with the highest senior divorce rate, so I guess this kind of thing, sad as it is, shouldn't be that surprising. TIJ.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

"Among the users of this service are a wife who said she fled after having a big fight with her husband, and a woman who said she wants time to herself as she is tired of taking care of her children who are at home all day because of school closures, while her husband works remotely at home," Amano said.

Time to put the husband and kids to work inside the house.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Peace of mind is at certain times cheap at any price. If holidays are stressful, this sort of situation could be a real pressure cooker, particularly if the entire family is packed into a space of 20 mats or less for weeks on end.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I have tried to understand the Japanese concept of a family (mother, father and kid(s)), but I must say I gave up.

People complaining they are too confined to work at home, while they still have at least 100% more space than at their office desk?

Communication in Japanese families is quite a failure so far. Good time to try to improve it!

As a first step fathers with babies can learn to change nappies and proudly share that on SM.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

I remember watching a TV show a while back about Japanese women who would literally stalk doctors by renting small apartments near hospitals, in the hopes of being able to trap one into a loveless marriage. No interest in love, happiness, or lifetime companionship....just money money money. Fortunately, most of the doctors at that hospital were on to their little ponzi scheme and avoided them like the plague

1 ( +1 / -0 )

just to complement your comment @TARA TAN KITAOKA I reckon most marriages are over from the start...specially here...people get married mostly to satisfy other people's expectations and to blend into the surrounding society...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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