Man demands divorce after his wife throws out his anime collection

it will take quite long time for some people to understand the value of family...

hope he will get cool and comeback. Bad scene for the 11 years old.

Shame maturity does not come in a pill form. These two both need a good dose.

The husband might be a bit off, but Mika sounds like a total loon. Whatever happened, trying to force someone to stay in a marriage makes about as much sense as beating someone up so they will stay your friend.

The War of the Roses? I don't blame him for not wanting to eat that meal she prepared.

There will be a new manga then anime based on this story soon, oh wait, there probably already is.

this is a terrible and unnecessary escalation of events. I mean 10,000 worth of special bottles OH NO. That's nothing compared to a husband with a pachinko addiction. At least the bottles would have had resale value. Checking your husband's prized possessions out like that, anyone would be pissed off.

no tolerance for of that; i would have done the same thing. good example for the kid though.

She had no right to throw out his stuff like that. So? $100? He is obviously the one that works for all the money a d pays for everything...she prepared the "grand meal" with food that she bought with his money. She deserves to get a scolding but devorce is just too harsh.....for the little kid as well.

I don't blame him. She had no cause to do this, no matter how much she disagreed with his hobbies. Its not an issue of the anime crap (I couldn't care less)..its more about her invading HIS space. In my opinion, even if couples are very close and share everything, they are both also individuals who deserve to have their own space. If this were my wife, I'm not sure if I'd demand a divorce, but we would have a very SERIOUS conversation about destroying each others property.

When it come to couples it is never only one thing. The manga was the tipping point and if there is one single rational action in all of this was his handling of the matter asking for a divorce as opposed to going out in flames, ending up physically hurting someone. All couples go through all sorts of problems before they find a good common ground they can stand on and love each other, maybe this one too need to find that, but if they have not found one by now divorce might be the healthiest way to go.

I grew up in Korea during the 80s and 90s, at a time when Japanese anime/manga was at its prime.

Dragonball, Slam Dunk, Dr Slump, Dodgeball Kid were smash hits.

It feels like it has declined since then, I can only think of Pokemon since the turn of the century. I think Pixar's 3D movies had a lot to do with it. Traditional anime looks so 80s now, and children now grow up watching 3D animation instead, something Japan hasn't caught up with.

Given the creative talent in Japan, they are more than capable of producing global hits to rival Pixar, but it might be decades before Japanese people can let go of their love for traditional anime/manga.

I agree with the internet commenters. Make your own money, you lazy cow!

Idiotic. With a 11 yr old, they been married, what, 15 years. It is not like he just started this hobby, she must have known about it before they were married. What, was his hobby bankrupting the family? Somehow I don't think so. I'm sure he saw his wife spend on things he doesn't approve. Sounds like she wanted more attention. Probably they should have set money for him, for her, for the family. Now, how much yen did she destroy when she destroyed his collections over a 10,000 yen? Divorce, of course, you can replace the otaku stuff with anything, fishing gear, sports gear, car stuff, etc. It was part of his identity and she destroyed that. She didn't know him and didn't try. So, why did she marry him in the first place?

Got to agree, the husband was using the money given to him from his wife to buy the bottles, it is upto him what he does with it, not the wife's fault to complain. This was a act of revenge on her part by destroying his hobby.

The husband sounds quite reasonable. If this had been a car no-one would blink an eye or accuse him of being childish. I know plenty of adults who are perfectly grown up and collect stuff, like cars, stamps, comic books, porcelain dolls, etc. Collecting something doesn't make you childish. In fact some people have made a ton of money from their collections.

... the wife, Maki, on the other hand, sounds like the child here. She tried to lay down the law over 10 000yen's worth of drinks... its summer, most of us are knocking back a bottle of green tea or aquarius or something a day, sometimes two. Then in her temper tantrum she cut up and threw out all his blu rays and collectives. A single blu-ray is about 5 000 yen, and a boxed set can be a lot more. In short she wasted a LOT more money than she was complaining about. ... and then she tries to make out that she's the great person because she made him supper? That's pretty much all she had to do the whole day and she makes a big deal out of it.

I'm sorry for their kid, your parents breaking up is traumatic, however there's no reason this guy should have to stay with this woman who seems intent on making his life a living hell and wasting money like mad.

lol this whole story is just so pathetic. buying anime and dvd stuff is expensive! sorry but maki did well, good girl. but divorce over this?! lol!! sad~ japan grow up lolol

I wish the guy luck in his new Anime collection, and on finding a better wife!

Seriously, if a wife or husband thinks they can "fix their partner" by taking things their partner loves (which they may not understand) and forcefully destroying it, that's a jerk move.

I can think of much worse things the guy could have been doing. She sounds like a control freak.

I don't know...I think this guy's money spending was probably not limited to this one set of 10000 yen (About $100) of drinks. The article said she also threw a lot of other things he had acquired out. This sounds like he might have been wasting an awful lot of money on his hobby. Having a hobby is OK, spending too much of your money on your (expensive) hobby when times are hard is...less OK.

Now, this doesn't excuse the wife's behavior, of course. She shouldn't have simply thrown away and destroyed those things. She could have at least sold some of them, anime stuff can be quite valuable. Both of these people could stand to learn a little communication.

Sounds like these are just two people who should never have gotten married, at least not to each other.

I agree with Wolfpack, she is a control freak. I just got rid of mine and feel a lot better now she's gone. the wife in the story sounds just as destructive as mine.The guy in the story will do better without the lazy cow. Actually I should go to the press about my ex because there's just as much scandal involving her lot! Stand up to the tin pot dictator wives, Japanese guys !

I feel sorry for her since he doesn't want divorce, and especially sorry if the husband gets the boy and doesn't let her have any access to him, but I have to say divorce sounds like the least of the problems between these two. In all likelihood this anime addiction existed before the marriage, though it sound like he became more and more dependent on it, so she would have known and accepted it. The husband sounds like a total loser -- not because he's an anime otaku but because of changing the accounts and doing what he did so he could continue a hobby that was clearly troubling their marriage instead of trying to meet his wife halfway. The wife, also, went to extremes, depending on others' opinions and ultimately destroying the possessions her husband loved and felt dear. Doesn't matter that they were only DVDs, she unilaterally destroyed what the man loved and then selfishly felt she could make up for it by doing what was her agreed upon role.

Again, I feel a little pity for her, and for the boy, and am completely indifferent towards the husband, but I think in the end divorce will do them both good. If such superficial reasons cause such large problems, then it's time to get out.

Everyone, can you please stop taking sides? It's clear they BOTH have problems. The wife, who couldn't accept her husband's hobby and destroyed something he cared about, and the husband who was irresponsible with money and didn't consider the problems it was causing in their relationship. Both of them were wrong and both of them were stupid. I really just hope they can either work past this or find someone better for them.

"Mika ( "Maki" ) sounds like a total loon"

She sure is.

I have many hobbies and love to collect things, but I do it with my own allowance. I give my wife more allowance than I give myself because she works outside the home, as where I am the homemaker/work from home guy, and what we do with our allowance money is our own business, but anything else is talked about, and the books are open for everyone to see how much is spent on what, I run a transparent household so everyone knows where all the money goes and how much is in savings. Everyone should have an equal say in how the money is spent, but again, how you spend your allowance is your own business.

People need hobbies, it is how we escape the stresses of the working world...You only live once, so why spend it all working and not enjoying yourself. The wife in this article is just selfish, maybe she needs a good hobby.

The wife said should have taken up a hobby and keep herself occupied.

Without saying who's right and who's wrong here - we don't really have enought info to make a judgment - married parties need to respect each other's space. If they are unable to do this, the marriage can't last.

He's better off!

The wife had no right to do any of that. He can spend his own hard earned money as he pleases. Everybody has a hobby I am sure she knew he had this hobby when she married him. I collect anime and manga as well and my husband didn't like it at first but became used to it and has even joined in on some of it with me. I join in on his hobbies as well like hiking and sports and we both share the similar hobby of art. If you don't like what your husband/wife is doing you discuss with them how much money is being spent you don't throw that money on the side of the road and destroy it like that. She did much worse by destroying expensive things like that. I am sure she wanted to spend the money he was spending on herself and her son because you know in Japan a man is only good for bringing in money. I am glad I make my own money.

Wow, clearly these two are both...............well you know.

Looking at the posts it appears MOST didn't comprehend what was written, CLEARLY the idiot husband was blowing ca$h left right & centre on CRAP! Its written there folks read it again. It clearly states the dude was going way over budget with his infantile collection!

Y10,000 at Y150/bottle is OVER 60 pet bottles & my bet is he has lots more, add that to a likely massive collection of manga & dvds................ equals................... A TWELVE YEAR OLD!

The mrs clearly didn't go about this right but the dude is clearly a MASSIVE loser, unresponsible & utterly infantile

Both of the problems these two "adults" illustrate are problematic nationwide.

Macarthur called Japan a nation of 12year olds, seems to me that should be revised downwards some!

NeonFractionJUL. 16, 2013 - 09:51AM JST ... the husband who was irresponsible with money ...

how can you say that? he provided for them, didn't he? After a hard days work he is not allowed to have a hobby? My husband collects porn, the only problem I have is him not putting them back after he viewed them.

“In commemoration of his graduating out of such a childish and embarrassing hobby, I’d prepared a grand meal for him. But no matter how many times I called for him, I couldn’t get him to leave his room.”

You felt guilty and tried to smooth over the situation, you are the problem lady.

Marriage is a partnership, not ownership. My husband has some really expensive hobbies (gym costs, hunting, fishing, camping, ATV's, etc). He works hard for and provides for his family and does not chase skirts. So what's there to complain about? The way I see it, as hard as he works he needs a release that is his own. Maybe this lady should have taken a little time talking with her husband to try and understand his hobby before taking any action. I'm sure she would have received his appreciation instead of his anger....maybe, since we don't know his side of the story.

Probably they should have set money for him, for her, for the family.

It sounds from the article that they did have their own money - she told him to use his own savings for daily expenses - but that he was dipping into the housekeeping for his stupid combini campaign, buying drinks he had no intention of drinking. ¥10,000 is a lot of bottles. At which point he takes all the family money? Self-centred jerk.

The wife doesn't sound like she's firing on all pistons either, but if there was this huge pile of 'prized' anime stuff it sounds like the ¥10,000-worth of bottles wasn't her husband's first exhibition of fiscal feeble-mindedness, but simply the last straw.

I'm surprised the marriage lasted long enough for them to have an 11-year old child. I feel divorce is in the air. Who wants to live with a middle-aged anime-nerd control freak? She and the child will be better off without him. At the very least the child will grow up with only one childish role-model instead of two.

He can spend his own hard earned money as he pleases.

Not when he's got a wife and kid to feed, he can't. Hobbies and combini campaigns come way down the list of priorities, on both sides. It sounds like he was happy for her to be at home as a housewife, not earning, until she 'abandoned' her housework.

Make your own money, you lazy cow!

So she should work to feed the family, while his money is all his own to spend on hobbies?

"“In commemoration of his graduating out of such a childish and embarrassing hobby, I’d prepared a grand meal for him.But no matter how many times I called for him, I couldn’t get him to leave his room."

Idiot. He wasn't celebrating because it wasn't voluntary....if he'd thrown out her shoe collection or stuffed toy collection, there would be total condemnation for him, why is it ok for her to throw his stuff out?

but the dude is clearly a MASSIVE loser, unresponsible & utterly infantile

Macarthur called Japan a nation of 12year olds, seems to me that should be revised downwards some!

Why? Because he has a hobby that you don't understand? I see nothing wrong with people collecting mangas or animes. Its pretty common in Japan; as a matter of fact I would argue that they are a part of a Japanese sub-culture, a sub-culture that a lot western societies are adopting. Just because you don't understand it or agree with it doesn't make it crap.

and the husband who was irresponsible with money and didn't consider the problems it was causing in their relationship. Both of them were wrong and both of them were stupid. I really just hope they can either work past this or find someone better for them.

All of this was her perception. It would be irresponsible if their household finances were suffering from this, but nothing in the article to indicate this was happening. She was just upset that he was using the household funds instead of his own savings on hobby items. Although I do agree that maybe should us his personal funds for those types of items, I wouldn't call it irresponsible. 10,000 yen is not really a big deal for most households, and if she and her son is drinking whatever the drink is, then where is the problem??

10,000 yen is not really a big deal for most households, and if she and her son is drinking whatever the drink is, then where is the problem??

Uhhhhhh.....I don't know what kind of household you grew up in, but I didn't exactly blow my nose with $100 bills when I was a kid. I still don't, today.

This husband should have married one his favorite manga's characters instead of a real woman!!

Why? Because he has a hobby that you don't understand? I see nothing wrong with people collecting mangas or animes.

There's nothing wrong with collecting stuff. The problem comes when the cost of the collection, or whatever other hobby, is more than the family finances can bear. A hobby doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

It would be irresponsible if their household finances were suffering from this, but nothing in the article to indicate this was happening.

She asked him to use his own money, indicating that the take from the household budget was at least noticeable if not significant.

10,000 yen is not really a big deal for most households

Maybe for this household it was. In these recession-blighted times, I would imagine that in a household with one income and a kid coming up to jhs and inflated education bills, ¥10,000 wasted would be a very big deal. And it does sound like this ¥10,000 wasn't the start of the problem at all.

if she and her son is drinking whatever the drink is, then where is the problem??

No mention of anyone drinking the stuff. The nerd was collecting it.

(JT, why does the preview come up 'null'?)

Mirai,

Like I said its abundantly clear both man & wife in this case have serious problems BUT I stand by my he is a loser for being a supposed adult buying loads of PETBOTTLES!!! Hello hello he isn't buying a couple & having some fun he is buying CASES of petbottles!

Now if these two actually live in a huge house & have the space I will take back SOME of what I said but I am willing to bet this goofball has mounds of manga & crap all over the place, ie he is over the top, irresponsible & clearly infantile!

The guy clearly has an addiction, a recipe for financial disaster & relationship chaos, but as I said the wife clearly DID NOT go about this right.

The dude clearly has issues he needs fixed or get ditched simple as that

What did the wife expect? Distruction of personal property, its a criminal offense in some countries. Whats wrong with open discussion and respect for each other.

MrHirai @ If this were my wife, I'm not sure if I'd demand a divorce, but we would have a very SERIOUS conversation about destroying each others property.

I think the real issue here is the conversation part which is communication.

As for the people who say 'Its his money because he worked hard' , you have missed the point of marriage where the husband and wife need to give up their own wants for the better good of both at times and this comes through communication. This is what love is about. Also what about the work she does at home, isn't that worth something? I know my wife does more than I can pay.

GW

You are doing EXACTLY what this woman is doing....assuming that his hobbies are "childish and embarrassing". Hobbies aren't suppose to make sense to everyone, only to the person who is engaging in and finds it entertaining. If she or YOU don't agree with it, that's your prerogative. But it isn't this woman's prerogative belittle him or his hobby in an open internet forum and destroy his property just because she doesn't agree with it. Her backlash from the netizens is well-deserved IMO. She had no right to do what she did. She can find her own hobbies and agree to disagree on what he chooses to do with his personal time.

If she doesn't like his loose spending then she discuss it with him rationally, or she can point it out later IF it really does develop into a household finance issue (which again nothing in the article indicates this was happening). Asking him to use his own pocket money is a fair request if the finances is being budgeted by the wife.

And although I personally don't employ this policy, if he is the sole bread winner in the family, as long as the bills are getting paid and the family is being fed, its HIS money to whatever he chooses.

Who needs a wife when you can have a waifu? This is, by far, the most ridiculous thing I've seen in a while.

Who said he was collecting the bottles? Campaigns mean you buy a product and you get something in return. Whatever he bought could have been used by the whole family. While that is excessive it is his hobby. If she didn't like him spending his own money on himself in that quantity then you discuss it not destroy his possessions. The whole wife controlling all money has always bothered me. My husband and I share everything. If I buy my hobbies it comes from my own money. My clothes my own money. We set money aside for household as well. I have friends whose wives control everything and 10000 yen a month is all they are allowed! Once married their credit cards and bank info were forfeit. I can't tell how many times I have been out with this friend and he has to wait for his wife to bring him money so he can eat lunch. He even has to pay her for bento she makes! If he doesn't pay her she doesn't make it and he has to eat on his allowance. Some people are too controlling.

What's the other side of the coin here..? Why did her parents side with him taking control of the bankbook?

Who said he was collecting the bottles?

He did. When she asked why, her husband explained that he was collecting them as part of a campaign the convenience store was having.

If she didn't like him spending his own money on himself in that quantity then you discuss it not destroy his possessions.

It seems she did try to discuss it and he reacted by shutting off all finances. The pair of them need a good shaking to knock some sense into their heads.

My husband and I share everything. If I buy my hobbies it comes from my own money.

Those two sentences are contradictory....

Some people are too controlling.

Yes, they are. And some people are too profligate, spending ¥10,000 of money they apparently can't afford on stuff they don't need.

@UsagitoSaru

Every household has their own way of controlling the finances. Sometimes its the wife, sometimes its the husband, sometimes its a two income family and each spouse controls their own part of the income separately. It could be that this woman was a overbearing control freak with the finances and the husband was frustrated from it...It could be that the man was loose with spending ...WHO KNOWS..

Personally, the fact that this guy had funded his hobbies with the household finances rather than his own, is pretty irrelevant. She destroyed HIS property..that's the problem and that's the core if what's wrong. Destroying one's property disrupts the trust in the relationship and is really uncalled for, especially if he had invested a lot of his time and money to it

Divorce is a bit over the top IMO, but I would definitely seize control back of the finances, or at least make her pay for the damages. But having said that, I definitely know how he feels.

where the husband and wife need to give up their own wants for the better good of both at times and this comes through communication. This is what love is about.

IF this man can afford his hobbies, there is no need to sacrifice anything. Nowhere does it say that the bills where piling up or the kid wasn't eating because of his loose spending. If this was happening, then I would be TOTALLY on Maki's side. Its sound more of a case of a high maintenance wife not getting enough attention because her husband spends more time doing his own thing than giving her attention.

Also what about the work she does at home, isn't that worth something? I know my wife does more than I can pay.

She wasn't. She stopped doing house chores...says so in the article

quote: Maki was upset, but her husband pointed out that she’d abandoned her housework...

adult buying loads of PETBOTTLES!!! Hello hello he isn't buying a couple & having some fun he is buying CASES of petbottles!

No no no...you don't get it...these campaigns get you buy a specific product and you save the labels or stickers or whatever to later redeem for a prize or a chance to win a prize, much like old school grocery store stamps. My wife use to do the same thing with a product I hated, but I didn't get upset. We did it, the campaign ended, and we used something else afterwards...no big deal.

If you reread the article, this woman had her own parents siding with her husband. Who's family sides against their own child, unless they were in the wrong?

However, the next month, Maki's husband changed the bank account his company deposited money into and grabbed the family bankbook (a notebook used to record all transactions at the bank which also serves as a kind of ATM card) for himself. From then on, he declared, he'd be in charge of the family’s money.

That's where the husband did wrong. Otherwise, I think the wife is wrong.

The problem with forming a conclusion from this article is that it is all one sided. We don't know what the husbands perspective was on what happened. What's his version of the incident? This is all about her own complaining on a site. How much of what she posted is actually what really happened and how much was exaggerated for the sake of obtaining sympathy and understanding from others on the site? There is always three sides to a story, his, hers and somewhere in there is the truth.

alimel1969

I agree to a certain extent. However, Maki is not playing herself as a victim. She seems to be very honest about what she's done as well. I think that's what makes this story sound so credible and also why she got so much backlash. If she was playing the victim card, then I would totally want to hear the husbands side.

kazungu

It depends on the chronology. If it happened exactly as told on JT, I agree with you to a certain level. If he asked for a divorce and /or destroyed his stuff first, then he has every right to do what he did. Still gives no excuse for her to destroy property. His actions are reversible, hers are not.

As for the manga and anime issue, Japanese anime and Manga both are in their prime NOW and getting better, I am a full time researcher and developer in both and Pixar is junk of the lowest type compared to the wonderful work being done right now in Japan. the series mentioned in the post above are sadly low quality. We have fine and improving series and studios now in Japan and I expect it to get better and better, traditional is the fine standard and i support it completely.

As for this sad story, she is best to do her best whatever she wants. The Husband sounds like he has a collection additiction, that thing about the bottles was nuts. He needs counseling and help. She needs to be patient and just wait to see what happens. No need to rush.

It sounds like he was happy for her to be at home as a housewife, not earning, until she 'abandoned' her housework.

I can't help but notice how quick you are to assume that cleo - and not just for this article. Most mature people realize that a stay at home mom is doing real valuable work. No need to get so defensive every time the subject comes up. There are a lot of women out there who flat out don't want to work. Its OK to admit it. And for the record, I just re-read the article and nowhere is it suggested that the husband was unwilling to see his wife out earning some money to contribute to the family budget.

Looking at the total number, she saw over 10,000 yen worth of bottles. Getting angry at his loose use of money, Maki told him to use his own savings for daily expenses and then refused to do any housework or cooking.

The article never says what is in the bottles or if he plans to drink them all himself or share with the family. Perhaps the drinks could be used in case of an earthquake or other emergency. Any way you look at it its unfair for the wife to tell the husband to "use his own savings for daily expenses". Who uses their "savings" for "daily expenses"? Its the opposite of what "savings" means.

Drinks consumed by everyone should easily be something that comes out of the "daily expenses" budget. Drinks consumed by him alone (or worse, kept unopened for the purposes of "collecting") he should pay for himself. Unfortunately the story never makes it clear what exactly the wife found so offensive about 10000 yen worth of drinks.

That's no reason for a divorce, wait till they get to real issues in life...that's no excuse to divorce. They as adults should mend such issues amicably.

It's not often I would say this, but I agree with the wife. Manga is a childish hobby and an adult should not be living in a comic strip fantasy world. This guy is 40 odd years old. Not 14! His childishness is evident by him locking himself in his room and sulking for 24 hours. The poor little boy! Good on her for throwing out his childish crap! Divorce could be a good idea for her, but good luck to the otaku keeping his kid. Japanese law doesn't work that way.

@Disillusioned

Hence your screen name "Disillusioned".

Collecting comics is not childish and its not a just a Japanese thing. They collect comics in the states and in Europe too. Its a real and sometime profitable hobby and like I mentioned earlier, hobbies are not meant to be understood by everyone, just by the person who engages in it and finds it entertaining. There are people who collect old popsicle sticks and hotel soap. I personally don't care for it, but it doesn't make i childish or stupid as long as someone finds it entertaining.

Divorce could be a good idea for her

Perhaps...maybe she can learn to be less selfish and learn to accept her partner for whatever quirks he has.

Japanese anime and Manga both are in their prime NOW

Actually...80's anime and manga were MUCH better.

You are doing EXACTLY what this woman is doing....assuming that his hobbies are "childish and embarrassing

Mirai,

I am guilty as charged, ITS PATENTLY obvious the guy is childish for petes sake haha!

Picture yourself back when you were eleven, what would you think if one of your parents was carrying in a case of petbottles trying to win some stupid little prize! Going off to their corner of the house where stacks of manga & dvds rule the roost................hell yeah this guy is not only childish but an embarrassment FOR SURE!!

That aside we are still back having a gander al all the problems BOTH these two supposed adults have, imo its embarrassing to see that this non-sense is so common & even crazier how many on jt think this is normal or ok................as I said just try picturing your own parents doing this kind of thing maybe that will put this in the light that you can see, not holding my breath tho!

assuming that his hobbies are "childish and embarrassing

Who cares what others think , it may seem childish to some, but just as long as you are doing what makes you happy and content, that is all that matters. I have very few friends, but the ones I do have are just like me and hold on to a few hobbies that may seem childish to some, but we all agree that we should not go through life feeling embarrassed because we like model trains or building scale models, no one should; and who decides what is for children and what is for adults, I am nearly 50 and I be darned if I want to grow up if it means giving up what makes me happy.....Life is too short to not enjoy the things that make us happy, no matter what others think! I would be more embarrassed paying a ridiculous amount of money for a brand name article of clothing or handbag, than paying a few thousand yen for a used N-gauge train that I can pass on to my kids or grand-kids, even my daughter who is almost 30 loves trains, it is a hobby we can enjoy as a family! Nothing to be embarrassed about!

I'm gonna stay on the fence with this one. On the one hand, it IS childish for a 40 year old to still be reading comics. It cracks me up when see grown adults reading this childish stuff on the train. On the other hand, the wife overreacted.

@GW

i wouldn't think anything of the sort. I would think I have a fun mom or dad who likes to do fun things, and perhaps I might want to join in. But even if that were not the case, AGAIN, a hobby isn't something that other people need to make sense of, its for personal enjoyment. He enjoys doing these things. That's all that counts. His wife had no business interfering...she could disagree with it all day long, but at the end of the day, its not her business to care!

It cracks me up when see grown adults reading this childish stuff on the train.

Assuming you can read Japanese (maybe you can't) and not just look at the pictures, if you look at the contents of many of the Japanese comics books, you'll realize that a great majority of it is for young adults or adults. I would never let some younger children read that stuff because the sex and violence is not appropriate for some small kids

They divorce because they can't stand each other. The separation is probably 12 yr overdue. Yawn. 60% of marriages end that way. But one line shocked me :

“In commemoration of his graduating out of such a childish and embarrassing hobby,

As much as I can get the person having a fit of anger and destroying the belongings of the person they're arguing with... I don't say it's a good thing to do, but well the nerves, that's human. Then you're sorry of the over-reaction. Nothing like this here, she has no feelings at all, she coldly destroyed the stuff that was in her way and decided hubby would reprogram his mind. That type of woman that can say that... It's a real case ? Then she really has not a micron of respect for the other's personality. She is a robot and a bully. She should never date, never get married, never have children, never be in an occupation that requires taking care of children, elderly, even pets...

. Finally, Maki ends her post saying “I don’t want to get divorced. The problem is his hobby, so I don’t see why I’m being chased out.”

Really a robot. Not a second she considered he could feel hurt, humiliated... and she is not sad either, she doesn't want to lose his salary on her bankbook.

, it IS childish for a 40 year old to still be reading comics

Oh we're here again.At 40 you already read lolita porn or you're still in regular porn ? Already reading the horse race rag or you still read about soccer ? Is there an age chart of appropriate readings somewhere ?

They should never make a decision if they're mad, that makes the situation worse. Likewise, they shouldn't resort to divorce. their child will be affected badly

It's his choice about divorce, maybe the court's choice about the kid though.

I do love hearing about a man who takes back the bank book and kicks the lazy wife out. She quit cooking and cleaning?? Over 10,000 yen of bottles? Classic. What would she have done if he quit his job?

not contradictory what I said. Cleo. I make my own money, My husband makes his own money. We split that money to house hold and spend the other one whatever we want. We share all of our spending info. She doesn't have a job she is a house wife and gets mad at what he spends his money on. Like many have said it is an innocent hobby..at least he isn't blowing it at hostess clubs or a woman on the side. As long as he provides for them well I see no issue in doing what he wants with his money.

How nice and warm-hearted that some people are defending the husband, BUT he's a grown man with an anime collection, for goodness' sake! He should just grow up. Yes, be angry with your wife for throwing the stuff out, but demanding a divorce for this reason is just another example of his immaturity and childishness.

And he wants custody of his child? Good grief!

Ah yes, someone defending the wife and suggesting hubby was happy to have her home and not work...

I hate anime, have no love for the manga/anime geeks but let's be honest, this woman went too far. More so when the guy is the one footing ALL the bills. If anyone was immature, it was the one that freaked out and chucked stuff out without asking.

Man demands divorce after his wife throws out his anime collection

Would've been more interesting if she had thrown him in the garbage!

Well, well, well... As a woman and wife I shall say she definitely went too far by throwing out his stupid collection. (I also have some hobbies, surely stupid for others). But the position taken about money, assets... is so degrading for women. Why? During the 15, 13 years together both of them were a marriage with their own roles and she is treated now like a scum??? Maybe is better to reach a divorce; they seem so tired about each other making it worse and worse. In the meantime, I better give a look to my collections.

get rid of the wife, she is more expensive upkeep than the anime.

But the position taken about money, assets... is so degrading for women.

Good grief. What was it in this story that prompted you to use the word "degrading". This woman degrades herself by not only refusing to do the housework etc when she doesn't get her way, but also by trashing things that her husband spent good money on just because she doesn't like those things.

During the 15, 13 years together both of them were a marriage with their own roles and she is treated now like a scum???

Again with the hyperbole .... where in the story is this woman being treated like "scum"? I think you need to reread the story in order to fully understand which was the offended party. According to the facts as we know them, the woman "lost" a possible 10000 yen from the family budget. The husband lost important possessions and all the money/time he had put into his collection. And then his wife mocked him in front of their child by preparing a "celebratory" dinner.

One 11 year old child and she isnt even working? And then she wigs out over 10,000 yens worth of bottles? And so chucks all his prized collection away?

The womans a loon and he is better off without her. He doesnt sound all that stable but she is positively certifiable.

Reading comics is less childish than passively watching tv or movies in my opinion. Obviously some posters equate comics with jughead and beano. Telling really.

Most mature people realize that a stay at home mom is doing real valuable work.

Does that include the people who make comments like, Make your own money, you lazy cow!? treated him as a free gravy train ride? lazy wife? One 11 year old child and she isnt even working??

the position taken about money, assets... is so degrading for women. Why? During the 15, 13 years together both of them were a marriage with their own roles and she is treated now like a scum???

That seems to be the general consensus, Roxana A. I don't get it, either.

Both behaved immaturely, very immaturely. I'm surprised though, does the woman have no money in her possession? I.e can the man just claim ALL the family's assets in Japan?! That's terrible if it is like that... But I don't feel much sympathy for the woman.. and really cannot she see why the man refused to eat her big present of graduation?? I would probably have shattered her most prized collection if she has one, so that she'd realize what it means like...

She should offer to repay him and replace all the items she destroyed. Then it will be like it never happened. Quite frankly I love anime mostly for the action and girls but its just make believe and it doesn't compare to a real girl in the real world.

Most mature people realize that a stay at home mom is doing real valuable work.

And most realistic people understand that if the woman is freaking out about 10,000 yen then clearly there are money issues in the family and with one 11year old child at school all day there is nothing in the world to prevent her going out and getting a small part time job for a few hours a few days a week to plug the financial gap and ease the stress.

A stay at home mum does just that - stays at home and is a mum. And I agree - very important, valuable work. However, if the child is not at home you are not a stay at home mum, you are simply a "stay at home". An 11 year old will be at school most of the day and almost certainly doing activities after school. There is no need for his mother to be sitting at home alone for 8 hours a day waiting for his return if there are money worries. In fact, even if there arent.

And most realistic people understand that if the woman is freaking out about 10,000 yen then clearly there are money issues in the family and with one 11year old child at school all day there is nothing in the world to prevent her going out and getting a small part time job for a few hours a few days a week to plug the financial gap and ease the stress.

Totally agree, ChibaChick. What's 10,000 yen? If you can't afford to lose 10,000 yen in one of the richest countries in the world, then you've got bigger problems than worrying about a bottle collection.

Let's get this straight: Maki stopped doing her job (if you can call pushing a few buttons and waving a feather duster around a "job") because she didn't like her boss's hobby. Now, if I stopped doing my job, I'd get fired. And that's exactly what happened to her. What is she whining about? I don't get it.

She should get a job to pay for his hobbies?

She should get a job to pay for his hobbies?

Why not? Most middle-class housewives have their hobbies paid for by their husbands.

dump the woman, she is a deadweight

She should get a job to pay for his hobbies?

Um, HE is paying for HIS hobbies - and anything SHE does as well. Plus the kid's hobbies.

No need to be a SAHM when a child is 11. She can get off her butt and get a job. Though from how she comes off in thos article, why would anyone want to hire her? Out of work for 11 years, clearly not all there if 10,000 yen causes her to behave like this. Far too many women like this in Japan who have a huge sense of entitlement and no idea that they could (should?) contribute to the family finances.

I'm surprised this guy even knew what to do with a woman to create a child. Shame on Maki's parents for siding with the man-child. No wonder Japanese men are so afraid of foreigners.

She should get a job to pay for his hobbies?

Why not? Most middle-class housewives have their hobbies paid for by their husbands

And I was under the impression that was considered a cardinal sin.....going one way it's bad, going the other way it's good?

Maki stopped doing her job (if you can call pushing a few buttons and waving a feather duster around a "job") because she didn't like her boss's hobby

If she was a full-time traditional Japanese housewife, 'her job' included balancing the household finances. Difficult if not impossible when the 'boss' (spouse is a 'boss'????) keeps dipping his fingers in the petty cash or sidelining funds destined for elsewhere. How easy would you find it to do your job if the boss kept rescheduling lessons without telling you, scrapping at a moment's notice the textbooks you've spent all week preparing lessons from because he's spent the money on a big office party? No complaints so long as you get to go to the party?

No need to be a SAHM when a child is 11.

No, no need at all. But if he expected her to be at home doing the housework and cooking his meals, then that's the basis they were working on.

I'm not defending this woman. I stated right at the beginning that she isn't firing on all pistons, and her response was not apppropriate. But just 'go and get a job' while he continues to spend, spend, spend regardless is no solution. What he was doing sounds like a form of abuse, and the sooner she gets away from him, the better.

Nothing was mentioned about him continuing to spend ,spend, spend,, the article mentions one instance of him buying bottles worth 10 000 yen

Where did he get his prized collection of 'anime goods and Blu-rays'? Several posters have already pointed out that stuff can be pretty expensive. Nor was it 'one instance' - the article says he kept coming home with boxes of drink bottles, so it was an ongoing problem.

how much does a typical Tokyo "housewife" spend on herself a month ?

So every family set-up must be measured according to what you perceive as 'typical'? This woman stayed at home (typical wives have at least a PT job once the kids are off their hands), refused to do housework, trashed her husband's prized possessions - how much of that do you reckon is 'typical'?

whenever I manage to go to a cafe, restaurant, gym or a shopping centre on a weekday lunchtime its full of "housewifes" happily spending the money their husband brings in.

Leaving aside the fact that it's no business of you or me where the ladies get their money from (I imagine most of them get pin money from their PT jobs), if you go to a cafe or restaurant you're going to see people eating; if you go to the gym you're going to see people working out; go to a shopping centre, you're going to see people shopping. From there it's a giant leap to assume that what you see is 'typical' of every housewife. I go to a school and see ladies talking to classrooms full of kids: do I assume that it's 'typical' to be a teacher? If I go to a racetrack and see people placing bets, do I assume that it's 'typical' for folk to throw their money away on gambling?

If indeed spending HIS OWN money on HIS hobby constitutes some sort of " abuse "

No, not spending money on hobbies. As others have pointed out, there's nothing wrong with having hobbies, and it's definitely better than spending his time in clubs or with other women. What is close to abuse is habitually taking money out of the housekeeping that he's supposedly put in her care, when she remonstrates having the salary the family must live on directed into a separate account, and telling tales to her parents.

she is free to do what most "abused " women should do and leave him

Yup. she should have left him when the comics and bottles started piling up.

I come home with boxes of beer bottles because i'm running a campaign of getting drunk and enjoying myself. If my mrs ever threw out my vinyl collection she would have all hell to pay for!

90% of the customers I see hanging out in restaurants, cafes, fitness clubs etc..during daytime working hours are women in the 25 -50 age bracket and since i can understand their conversations fairly well it is clear to me they are of the non-working housewife category.

Ninety percent? That's a low estimate. I'd say it's closer to 99%. Oftentimes the only males in those restaurants are the waiters!

How easy would you find it to do your job if the boss kept rescheduling lessons without telling you, scrapping at a moment's notice the textbooks you've spent all week preparing lessons from because he's spent the money on a big office party? No complaints so long as you get to go to the party?

If I was in an unbearable job situation, I would (and have in the past) simply quit and find a better position. But if you actually read the article you'll see that Maki, by her own admission, does not want another "job." Naturally, she wants to stay on Easy Street.

If indeed spending HIS OWN money on HIS hobby constitutes some sort of " abuse " as you say, then she is free to do what most "abused " women should do and leave him. But of course, she won`t do that because its way easier to suck money off him than to get her own job.

Yep.

Cleo, you have zero idea if this woman was a "honey, guess what? I quit my job today to stay home and be a housewife" like so many others I have heard of doing this. You have no idea so why do you always jump to conclusion that some horrible husband "demands" his wife stay home? I don't know of ANY guy who has ever "demanded" the wife stay home. I know a whole bunch of women who quit their jobs once they got engaged - and some without the fiancee knowing. I also know a whole bunch of others who quit once they got up the duff. You seem to think that the men control things here like this here. They don't.

She was home, it was HER job to cook and clean. She quit doing those jobs so I guess she got "fired"?

@cleo

Does that include the people who make comments like, Make your own money, you lazy cow!? treated him as a free gravy train ride? lazy wife? One 11 year old child and she isnt even working??

Probably not. But I personally don't think those comments are any worse than you assuming that the husband wanted (demanded?) his wife to stay home so as to keep her under his thumb.

That seems to be the general consensus, Roxana A. I don't get it, either.

Honestly cleo, how is that the "general consensus"? You know as well as I do that the women control the finances in the majority of Japanese households. And if you've been paying attention to any of the other "articles" posted on this site concerning marriage (and I know you have), I think you'd have to concede that its frequently the husband (sole income earner) who is treated like "scum" - to the point that young men nowadays look around at the misery endured by their married colleagues and decide to stay single for another ten years or so.

Frankly I think its a poor idea to have either party in complete control of the finances. Ideally (and keep in mind I have no first hand experience here so I may be talking out of my ass) a married couple would be aware of the fact that they are in a legal partnership meaning if one fails financially, they both fail. I don't see that it would be terribly difficult to sit down over a cup of coffee once a month and review the financial state of the union. If money is really tight then any "extra" purchases for hobbies, vacations, special events etc could be amicably discussed at that time.

Any way you look at it, this woman first enacted a work stoppage and when that didn't pan out as she'd hoped she went ahead and destroyed his personal items in a fit of rage. Those are not the actions of someone who is serious about her relationship - or someone who should be in control of anyone's finances.

I am truly embarrassed by a lot of the answers here, by their logic it is perfectly fine to destroy another persons property. well i got news for your buddies she had not right, the issue here is her lack of respect for him and his things, not anime, manga and how some people hate it. she got what she asked for, now she have a lot of time to think about what she did and how she ruined her marriage cause of her self righteous actions.

the kid is the actual victim here, if they can't stay together i hope they can at least find it in themselves to take responsibility for that. Otherwise ... nothing to add since it's none of my business

Hiding, 100% agree but Cleo thinks that bills will go unpaid if the couple actually does the finances this way - or at least that is what she claimed a few weeks ago... I have firsthand experience and I can say it works for us. Mind you, we both work and I'm not dishing out an allowance for him because well, why would I?

Mr, you're right and wrong. The kid does miss out in some ways but its better to have divorced parents than two married parents who are fighting all the time. Not to mention a bad role model to see dad so disrespected by mom.

why do you always jump to conclusion that some horrible husband "demands" his wife stay home?

I personally don't think those comments are any worse than you assuming that the husband wanted (demanded?) his wife to stay home so as to keep her under his thumb.

Where did I assume he 'demanded' anything or wanted to 'keep her under his thumb'? My assumption was that they agreed - or assumed - at some point in the marriage that he would provide, she would housekeep. And neither of them handled the relationship like adults.

its frequently the husband (sole income earner) who is treated like "scum"

So by being the sole earner, was he keeping her under his thumb, or being treated like scum? Or both, at the same time?

If money is really tight then any "extra" purchases for hobbies, vacations, special events etc could be amicably discussed at that time.

Obviously that wasn't happening here, was it?

The straw that broke the camel's back, eh? I think there was a lot more going on and they definately need a divorce.

Several posters have already pointed out that stuff can be pretty expensive.

Yes, and the shrew destroyed that. That shows the spoiled brat she is. Otherwise, she would have seen the value of the collection was far more than ichi man. To get rid of it, she'd have sold it (there are specialized shops and online sites). If he had no collection, she'd have trashed his car, saying he paid 10 000 yen of gasoline or parking without begging to her. If he had been a musician, she'd have destroyed the Stradivarius as she disapproves the purchase of partitions. She can be prosecuted for the destruction.

She should get a job to pay for his hobbies?

No, to pay for what she destroys. Then to pay for her food and shelter, now that she's single, and if she could make a little more, that would be to treat her son when he visits, and to buy him a few mangas sometimes.

Nor was it 'one instance' - the article says he kept coming home with boxes of drink bottles, so it was an ongoing problem.

Not at all the story in the article I have on my screen. But you have a superior comprehension of English that allows you to read so many things written between the lines...

From then on, he declared, he’d be in charge of the family’s money. Maki was upset, ... her parents on his side, forcing her to give in. After putting up with the situation for a while, Maki finally decided that she’d had enough

She had enough because he no longer lets her control his kombini receipts, and he refuses her order to change of hobby. That's not that the family had money troubles. That's because he challenged her authority. No my sympathy with him to a point as he waited years before reacting. I also worry for the child if he also got "graduation dinners" after she trashed his favorite toys.

Disillusioned

Whats childish about comics? Why is an entire medium of telling a story childish? Hope you dont watch tv or movies, wouldnt want to get caught up in a movie-fantasy world.

i guess he's reciprocating by throwing her out

If he blew blew 10,000 yen drinking beer on the weekend would that have been OK with the wife? Or is she more annyoed than anime drawings entice her husband more than her?

Either way, not cool to dispose of your spouse's posessions and in such a vindictive way? Imagine if a husband complained his wife spent too much on shoes and just cut them to pieces and threw them away?

When I was younger my mom pulled this kind of garbage on me. Anime, comic books, video games and even some game consoles. Thing was I was working a part time job as a teen and that was my hard earned money (at the time). It is destroying part of one's identity when you destroy something to "punish" them especially when they worked for it themselves.

Honest Dictator-you are 100% right. I have teenagers myself and I certainly would not throw out their posessions (without their consent),

To me it depends on how much time and money he was spending on his Anime. If he was using up a large percentage of his / their take home pay on it and spending more than 10 hours a week of his free time then I think she did the right thing. No matter what country.... alienating your family and spending excessive amounts of money on a hobby is wrong. She should divorce him.

spending more than 10 hours a week of his free time then I think she did the right thing.

So 10 hours is the cut off for free time and hobbies then? Or is your issue the type of hobby? Your average kid does more than 10 hours of club here, many women do more than 10 hours of various hobbies here... Why is he not allowed to enjoy his hobby? More so when he's footing the bill for it?

in relationship, respect !!! and the most important is respect the stuff of each own ..... even the dead one have to keep and respect the things they left! especially if its important or a collection !

Apparently this man was wasting tons of money for himself. He should remain alone, marriage isn't something to him.

Anime and manga are not just a hobby, but a lifestyle. To some, it is something very precious which can make us do ridiculous things. Now that is no excuse for using money without making sure they could afford it, but you can't change someone by throwing away something they love thinking they would just go cold turkey. They both needed to have a good sit down and talk it out before automatically jumping to the extreme, like so. They are a couple, so they should know that change cannot be forced but it can be implied with the right reasoning and understanding.

Anime and manga are very important to me too. But when you consider them more important than your partner, well I think you should remain alone. I believe I'll never marry because I like spending my free time how I want. If you decide to share your life with someone, you must be ready for some sacrifices. If you aren't ready...well you should be alone, like me. xD

Funny as all hell, the guy is a nut and the wife is also.

Well, if this story was based on facts and not on fictions.

She destroyed anime/manga etc. Future big money makers. She is not familiar to profit or market. That happens when a woman become a maid-wife in Japan or so I guess.

cleo is right

I understand that anime collecting is a awesome hobby that a lot of people have, but to be honest, I think 10,000 yen is a bit too much he spent all of that on bottles? 10,000 yen = 100 Australian dollars for me. I understand that a $100 is not much but he could of spent it more wisely, like just buy a few anime bottles. Or he could of just asked his wife if he could buy it. But the wife is also at wrong here. She threw it all away and broke it, like seriously he spent all that cash on those merchandise and she just threw it all away! If I was in the husbands situation I would of also got mad! at her.