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Missing boy case sparks discipline debate in Japan

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As in much of the developed world, Japanese parents too have become more indulgent toward their children in recent decades, to the point that older generations complain the country has gone soft.

The blame should be spread evenly around here. The older generations created the problems themselves, in their desire to make money and make things easier on their kids. Normal for most, but to lay the blame on the parents today has it's roots with the grandparents

-11 ( +4 / -14 )

prominent education expert Naoki Ogi.

By what definition is he an expert?

Many say the father in the Hokkaido abandonment case is scum, but he was not going to go home without the child.

This person sounds more observant. My kind of expert.

2 ( +9 / -7 )

Just like the Cincinnati gorilla case, it's time for the nutters to come out and express their harsh opinions. They're worse than these abusive parents. Well he made a horrible mistake. Forgive and forget. It's not gonna happen again.

3 ( +11 / -7 )

As in much of the developed world, Japanese parents too have become more indulgent toward their children in recent decades, to the point that older generations complain the country has gone soft.

What unsupported rubbish. Did parents several decades ago make children spend 3 hours after school in clubs, then go to juku and do 4 hours of studying, then come home and make a token effort at homework before exhaustion sets in and they collapse at 2 AM?

Typical myopic thinking: "You don't have the problems I understand, so you must have no problems."

“Should we call all forms of strict disciplining abuse?” said one tweet.

Ooh, what a charming straw man fallacy we have here. Keep spouting nonsense like that and maybe you should be entitled to a refund from your university.

12 ( +18 / -5 )

What unsupported rubbish (that "Japanese parents too have become more indulgent toward their children"). Did parents several decades ago make children spend 3 hours after school in clubs, then go to juku and do 4 hours of studying, then come home and make a token effort at homework before exhaustion sets in and they collapse at 2 AM?

@katsu78

Great comment. As a parent of children in the Japanese system, I couldn't agree more. These kids have tough lives with very little unstructured time.

Their highly structured lives and the Big Brother society keeps them off the streets and they get into less trouble as teenagers than me and my peers when I was their age, but they also have very little time to grow as individuals and develop into well-rounded adults capable of thinking and functioning on their own.

Top that off with a mindset where fairly horrific verbal abuse by parents, teachers and coaches is seen as acceptable and you have a recipe for some serious adulthood dysfunction. This is far from "adults becoming indulgent toward their children."

15 ( +16 / -1 )

Just like the Cincinnati gorilla case, it's time for the nutters to come out and express their harsh opinions. They're worse than these abusive parents. Well he made a horrible mistake. Forgive and forget. It's not gonna happen again.

Exactly my thoughts.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

could be a crazy life. this is just the tip of the iceberg. there are many cases we never know: perhaps the father lives in a another city. perhaps the children sleep half the time on the train with all their "activities." playtime is what now? it's a rubbish life with a narcissistic parent too...the anger leads to destructive sadistic parental behavior and a future of some miserable mental conditions for the children...sleep depravation on top of it all.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Young Japanese children are spoilt, especially the boys. Their parents try to please them all the time, and cater to their "moods". The children never hear the word "no". This changes when they enter Elementary school where shame and embarrassment are used to ensure kids behave.

6 ( +9 / -3 )

Whatever. Nutters' gonna nut. This is likely going to be a "self correcting" problem. These two parents have been deemed outcasts for the rest of their lives.

They'll either suck it up and not let it happen again, or they'll eventually blame the kid and murder him in their sleep.

But what did this kid learn from this experience? His parents punished him, and society roundly criticized them for doing so. I predict he will grow up to be a monster as they will now likely be TERRIFIED of punishing him ever again.

-10 ( +1 / -11 )

Looks like a naughty little rascal doesn't he...hehe.

Just made a bad call on the day. easy to second guess any parents actions.

Let's all just be glad the boy is safe and back with his parents.

I think all parents may have learned something from this story. No need to drag mum and dad through the courts.

But the streak of vindictiveness this country can often show...especially in the face of public scrutiny may prove to be their undoing.

7 ( +9 / -2 )

It appears the kid was a real piece of work. Throwing rocks at people. The details are still coming out, but I would guess he ran away after being left for a few minutes alone and refused to come when called, and perhaps also hid from the rescue party for the first day or so.

-5 ( +7 / -12 )

Crap parents.

-1 ( +8 / -9 )

Sensato:Some fools believe that parenting in Japan is no different to the rest of the westerns world. Look when you travel through a City at 7.30 pam and there is no light on in the suburb homes,Something is very wrong. No where in the world you find this. Most parents or a Parent are at home by 6.00pam so they can enjoy the rest of the day with family quality time. Some believes the Japanese way is a great way of parenting. I call it bad Parenting. Show me the results that all this education has improve Japan. It has styfulled sponinaity .and create bad Parent decision making.

4 ( +8 / -4 )

This form of punishment is hardly unique to Japan. My American brother-in-law recounted one time he and his siblings would not quiet down in the back of the car. His dad stopped the car and yelled at them to get out. They did, and the dad came back a few minutes later to let them back in. It was dead silent in the car all the way home.

5 ( +8 / -3 )

this article misleadingly makes you believe that it is a japanese tradition to leave naughty boys out in a bear infested forest

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Although only hinted at in this article, abandonment for a very short period of time, away from the usual family environment, is a fairly tradtional sort of punishment method in Japan for an unruly son. Even a primary school daughter might be locked out of the house for a few minutes as punishment. Perhaps it is reflective of the tendency for parents to indulge young children and leave discipline to the school. So when parents suddenly need to discipline, there is no real channel of disciplinary communication that can be used apart from this rather sharp approach, which usually works satisfactorily on the surface. But perhaps it doesn't deliver the moral message of "don't throw stones at cars because it is not a nice thing for the person at the receiving end". That's what the kid would have clearly have had explained to him by his parents in a Western culture.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

others sympathy for the pressures parents face in disciplining their children.

What a load of cods Wallop! Bad parents have bad kids! It's as simple as that! If the parents learn how to discipline themselves they will not have difficulties disciplining their children. This article doesn't mention the record numbers of child abuse cases that have been increasing every year for over a decade and, the incidents of abuse (discipline) get sicker every year. It's been common practice to lock kids on balconies or in wardrobes for many years in Japan. However, recently there's been a lot more sickening abuses like, scalding with boiling water, placed into garbage bins and this case of stupidity, being left in a forest. And, let's not forget the good old ever present smack down on the top of the head! Then, you get these other idiots that don't restrain their kids in cars and leave their kids in cars while they go shopping or to pachinko.

Discipline is not abuse! Abuse is abuse!

2 ( +8 / -6 )

In most countries this little boy would not going be back home with his parents this case would be considered child abuse.Glad he is alright.But going back to parents that just dumped him in a Bear infested forest well has to make you think....

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Bet he never throws rocks at cars again. Of course Mr and Mrs Tanooka went a bit too far, but I still think these two Japanese parents should give parenting lessons to American parents.

Too many parents in the U.S. do not discipline their children, and the young people do not learn boundaries. And we wonder why there are so many teens in prison and strung out on drugs.

I think little Tanooka Junior now knows his boundaries, and will not misbehave again.

-4 ( +5 / -9 )

Apparently, endangering the life of your child is an acceptable punishment to some people. As a parent, no matter how difficult the behavior of your child, it's your responsibility deal with the situation. They are children, YOU are an adult.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

I think what the parents have probably gone through over the last week in fearing the worse for the boy would be just about the worst punishment they could possibly endure. There is no need to take it further than that.

The thing that strikes me here is they attempted to teach the boy a lesson and it went very wrong for them. It was a bad call that went wrong because the boy did something unpredictable. But, they sure aren't the first parents to have done it, I can promise you that.

His dad stopped the car and yelled at them to get out. They did, and the dad came back a few minutes later to let them back in. It was dead silent in the car all the way home.

I know similar examples.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

Couple of things will never change: all parents see themselves as the only and best 'parenting experts' . And, subsequently, their kid/kids are the most well-behaved chidren (and the cutest, smartest etc that goes without saying).

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Well looks like this little boy has a great future as a member of the JSDF!

2 ( +3 / -0 )

"Well looks like this little boy has a great future as a member of the JSDF!"

One little boy's human spirit is crushed and destroyed for ever thus enabling him to become just ANOTHER small BRICK IN A large nationalistic WALL.

Is that good or bad parenting? Who knows?

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

At a minimum, the father should have to reimburse the govt for the entire cost of the search. There is no reason the taxpayer should subsidise child abuse.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

As with the comments above, the suggestion that this generation has it easy or has gone soft is 100% prime grade BS.

Previous generations in Japan lived through far better economic times and still ran up a world-leading national debt. Interest alone on it swallows up a good chunk of everyone's taxes. Perhaps older people could reflect on that before pointing the finger. Isn't it "soft" to borrow from your own children?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

First, thank God that Yamato was found and is safe.

Anyone who has conscientiously engaged with parenting know that there is a fine line between discipline and abuse. In some way, if we are truly honest with ourselves and withhold judgement, we as parents can relate with Mr. and Mrs. Tanooka.

Rather than pass judgement on others which is just too easy to do, I hope we parents learn more about effective parenting and what we do to raise great and responsible men and women. Effective parenting, like anything else, can be learned.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

I used to do this with my nephew! I would pretend to leave him all alone in the woods. I would wait until he started to "freak out"! Then, I would reveal that I was still with him! I was a pretty mean kid! Looking back, I was pretty mean!

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

I don't understand why the child decided to walk so quickly in 5, 6, 7 minutes through another hiking path instead of wider street after his father left him. It is going to be long walking way. If he stayed there or walked toward to the same direction, it would be much safer whatever, as a few cars go and come though sometimes. I wonder the child thought his father would never come back to pick him up anymore. If I were the child, I would be crying and staying there in more than 10 minutes. If his father did not show up more than 1 hour, I would decide to walk down toward the town, because it gets dark soon.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I often feel that parents need to be raised as much as kids do. Being a parent is a hard and stressful job. Not everyone knows how to handle it, and not everyone should be expected to just naturally be fit for being a parent. The fact that some can defend these parents are insane. Yes, it's normal to get frustrated at a child. But not, it's not normal to just abandon a child. Instead of just psychologically treatment for these particular parents, it seems like the entire country could use a lesson on what's acceptable parental behavior.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

The parents should consider the possibility of ADHD in their child.

-1 ( +5 / -6 )

Lesson 1. Big difference between discipline and abuse.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Discipline should start at an earlier age. All to often much younger children throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way. Parents do nothing and let them run wild. Yamato's not to blame for what had happened.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

If a child is in Kindergarten, make he or she read entire first grade reading book. If older, make child learn arithmetic .

3 ( +3 / -0 )

“Many say the father in the Hokkaido abandonment case is scum, but he was not going to go home without the child.”

Actually, both the parents ARE scum, not past tense. Doesn't matter if they 'not going home without him' or not, in retrospect, because we are talking about the actions they took to discipline him: abandonment. It is criminal abuse. Period. The boy should be removed from his parents' "care", as should the daughter, and visitations allowed only with supervision from responsible authorities (note: NOT social services in Japan). What happened in Hokkaido should never have happened and is proof that what many see here as somewhat innocent disciplining is flat out wrong and can have life-threatening consequences.

Wake me up when Japan DOES something instead of simply talks about it (I guess I might be sleeping forever).

Hiroshi Kanoya: "I wonder if gaijins who posted plausible comments know child abuse, juvenile delinquency in your country is much more frequent and serious."

IF that is indeed the case it is only because by default we recognize abuse as abuse, whereas you see it is 'normal behaviour' and not abuse, so by definition more people are breaking laws. It's the same as sexual assault in Japan and abroad -- it may appear to be less the case here, because it is still taboo to openly speak out against it to an extent, whereas people in other nations are less likely to 'gaman' and more likely to bring the issue to the police if not flat out take down the person committing assault. "Abuse" is only abuse when you see it as such. Since you do not, how can it be called abuse, right?

-4 ( +5 / -9 )

More and more JT articles are inserting Tweets. A good news site should be able to clearly paraphrase arguments for or against something without putting in anonymous people's Tweets whom we know nothing about their credibility. I'd go to Twitter if I wanted to see Tweets about the issue.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I often feel that parents need to be raised as much as kids do

Parents are raised in a sense that they take what they remember from their own childhoods and cues from grandparents. Many women in Japan spend their first month as a mother with the grandmother teaching them how to look after the baby, so in that sense they are as "raised" as parents as parents in any country worldwide. Unfortunately not all of the advice given has moved with the times. A common belief is that the baby must not go outside for a month otherwise the child will "catch a cold" and possibly "die". I know several Westerners who ended up fighting with their Japanese in-laws on this issue. Having a child should be a happy time, not something that sets family members against each other.

Just my own experience, but every time my kids made a stand about getting in a child seat, my MiL would tell me not to bother and would make me out to be the villain for insisting they go in. I bet it happens in other families too.

So my belief is that rather than getting no raising Japanese parents get a

3 ( +3 / -0 )

If the parents truly "abandoned" the child, then they would not have driven back to pick him up. It was the act of a frustrated parent at the end of their tether. It appears also that the child did a runner as an act of defiance to his parents. Sometimes people make choices that don't seem rational to others, but until you walk in their shoes you have no idea what made the parents do what they did. I'm sure in hindsight the parents are beating themselves up enough. I would not put much stock in anything all the "perfect parents" on here are spruiking.

6 ( +9 / -3 )

If a 7 year old kid runs deep into the woods rather than wait for his parents to return, thats big red flag.

As far as Japanese parenting goes, I find it shocking that so many kids, if you ask them, absolutely hate their fathers

3 ( +8 / -5 )

I have observed my Japanese friends and one thing i noticed is that they are still very traditional when it comes to interaction with their children... They have a no nonsense atitiude and it sux.... they express shock when i tell them to treat their children as their equal...

-2 ( +4 / -6 )

They have a no nonsense atitiude and it sux.... they express shock when i tell them to treat their children as their equal...

I'm guessing you don't have kids..... Not every kid is the same but you can't just treat your children equal as much as it sounds nice. Their brain has not developed and they dont have the experience you do in dealing with life. Kids are smart, they will take advantage that your are a wet sponge to get what they want and not listen to you. I've seen so many mothers trying to "talk" to their children while the kid is punching and kicking the parents literally or parents that buy their kids whatever they want whenever they want.

9 ( +11 / -2 )

What father did is definitely "abuse" in other countries but it seems to be still "decipline" in Japan because father came back anxiously in 5, 6 minutes. If police accuse father's action, then it may become abuse. Police would not but will warn him.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

What father did is definitely "abuse" in other countries but it seems to be still "decipline" in Japan because father came back anxiously in 5, 6 minutes

thats the same nonsensical argument many Japanese made in 1999 when the child seat law finally came into affect (even though it is often ignored)

it is a brutal practice that has no merit in 2016

-5 ( +1 / -6 )

I'm glad the child is well...more to come later.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

kwatt,

I don't understand why the child decided to walk so quickly in 5, 6, 7 minutes through another hiking path instead of wider street after his father left him.

The child may have not wanted his father to find him, from fear or shame.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I predict that many, many typical, young parents to be of boys in Japan will name their child Yamato" in the spirit of the boy. The more right leaning ones will champion the idea how it reflects the "traditional spirit" of ancient Japan, of the roots of their families. The child's grandparents will coo and agree. They will use difficult and awkward Chinese charcters to write the name "Yamato". People will name their cats and dogs "Yamato" too. In the meantime, the ball will start rolling and setting in motion the novel, movie, TV deals and other business regarding the whole affair of "YaMaTo". But, this is Japan, so one or two years later, the given name "Yamato" will become unusual once again and the novel, movie and TV deals will have disappeared into a distant memory.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

mataka:

Oh god, I hope not. I can just picture it now, Yamato azuki bean buns. And don't let Johnny's anywhere near this boy.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Throwing stones on cars and people? Not reacting to his parents calling out for him? Could that child be a brat? The father has been widely criticized but not the child. I see no abuse from the parents' side. Leaving the child for some minutes alone. Minutes! Does that constitute abuse?

2 ( +5 / -3 )

I think Yamato Tanooka in some ways really lucked out being found alive. Not only from his survival instincts, but also luckily avoiding an encounter with the Ussuri brown bear (one of the world's largest bears), which are known to roam the forest where Tanooka hiked to find that JSDF shelter.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Could that child be a brat? The father has been widely criticized but not the child.

The child is seven years old. His parents chucked him out of the car and told him they were leaving him there. They did not tell him they were going up the road and would be back in five minutes. If the little boy believed what he had been told (why wouldn't he believe his Dad? Little kids will believe virtually anything you tell them) he had no reason to wait any time at all.

Instilling abject fear in a child is abuse, whether the parents intended to come back in five minutes or not. Yamato didn't know they would come back. As far as the boy was concerned, he had been abandoned and had to look out for himself. And I think he did that very well.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

"His parents chucked him out of the car and told him they were leaving him there"

The average adult walking pace is FIVE MILES AN HOUR so if he was walking in the opposite direction the boy would be HALF A MILE AWAY from where he was left, even if the parents did in fact return after five minutes.

Therefore the child abuse is not just the abandonment, but the telling of the child in no uncertain terms that he is being abandoned. The child abuse is to make the SEVEN-YEAR OLD boy think to himself "I had better find somewhere to live, before it gets dark."

It may have taken a bit more than an hour but Yamato-kun found himself somewhere to shelter and stayed there CRYING HIS LITTLE HEART OUT for six days, quite literally STARVING TO DEATH.

He was probably in the JSDF barracks before the police were even called, but they couldn't find him.

Shame on Japan!!

-5 ( +1 / -6 )

Yubaru said:

lay the blame on the parents today has it's roots with the grandparents

Yes, the grandparents obviously instilled a sense of what's right and wrong in future generations as evidenced by the lowest crime rates any developed country in the world.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

"His parents chucked him out of the car and told him they were leaving him there"

The average adult walking pace is FIVE MILES AN HOUR so if he was walking in the opposite direction the boy would be HALF A MILE AWAY from where he was left, even if the parents did in fact return after five minutes.

Therefore the child abuse is not just the abandonment, but the telling of the child in no uncertain terms that he is being abandoned. The child abuse is to make the SEVEN-YEAR OLD boy think to himself "I had better find somewhere to live, before it gets dark."

It may have taken a bit more than an hour but Yamato-kun found himself somewhere to shelter and stayed there CRYING HIS LITTLE HEART OUT for six days, quite literally STARVING TO DEATH.

He was probably in the JSDF barracks before the police were even called, but they couldn't find him.

Shame on Japan!!

Godfather - what you need are more caps and exclamation marks.

And please. Break the prozac in half next time...

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Meanwhile, back in the real world...

The TV news are reporting a similar incident that happened in Ishikawa the week before because Japan is disgusted with itself and the worldwide shame that is being heaped on this proud country.

http://www.news24.jp/articles/2016/06/04/07331875.html

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

.... they express shock when i tell them to treat their children as their equal...

Maybe they were shocked by your attitude? The children are not equal to their parents.

4 ( +7 / -3 )

Abandoning a 7 yr old in the woods. It's abuse in Japan, abuse in any country.

If the parents truly "abandoned" the child, then they would not have driven back to pick him up.

When it's parents say "Yamato-kun, we're tired of your behavior, we are going to let you here on the shopping mall's parking..." and then pretend to start the car, OK your argument stands as the kid knows it's a joke and usually runs to them with a big smile. Not here. They DID it. They DID leave. Even if they had found the child as they came back, that would have been after inflicting him a big shock. It's cruelty.

Instilling abject fear in a child is abuse,

True, and they also exposed him to danger. Then they told lies about it to the police, asked the sister to lie with them... There are serious issues with this couple. Please don't let them go away with it. That would be sad for the 2 children to be separated from their parents. I hope they can find an intermediate solution.

As a parent of children in the Japanese system, I couldn't agree more. These kids have tough lives with very little unstructured time.

True but that's becoming the norm in urban areas of most countries to put kids in organised activities full time. Modern civilisations. There was a generalisation that the belief that kids had to be monitored 24/24 because life is so dangerous. I lived my childhood in the woods, streets, river sides, unsupervised by adults. All these places are safer than ever, but people perceive them differently. Now in France like in Japan, if a 9 yr kid is seen cycling in a street alone and without a helmet, the parents are crucified by everybody. Some neighbors even call the police : "A child has been abandoned...".. So compare with the Yamato case...

0 ( +2 / -2 )

All I know is that there are people for the parents and people against the parents. Now the entire country knows their faces and their lives will never be the same. They might be shunned and/or bullied by other kids or neighbors from here on out.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

It's both intriguing and frustrating reading some of the comments online in places like yahoo and the like, from people who have clearly never been to Japan and know nothing about it. There seems a general trend among people who know nothing to decry their home countries and it's lack of "discipline" and laud up their romantic notions of how honorable and disciplined Japanese society is. Personally I blame the Karate Kid but it is just ridiculous some of the nonsense about all this that they are spouting, mostly based on their experiences of observing Japanese who have moved to America. There seems general trend these days for Americans to bash themselves at how "terrible" their country has become, let alone anyone else bashing them. Like everywhere else US kids have their share of behavioral problems and child-raising issues but everything seems to be all or nothing these days. No one seems to be able to see a middle ground, and no one seems to be able to accept a differing opinion on something. I've actually had to block and remove friends on Facebook in the last week after verbal abuse because we have a differing opinion, all over a gorilla I've never even seen or heard of until last week! And it's the same with this situation - people who know nothing about the situation, the culture, the country and the people spouting opinionated rubbish and getting furious with anyone who disagrees with them. People are getting more and more insane.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Meanwhile, back in the real world...

The TV news are reporting a similar incident that happened in Ishikawa the week before because Japan is disgusted with itself and the worldwide shame that is being heaped on this proud country.

http://www.news24.jp/articles/2016/06/04/07331875.html

Meanwhile, back in the real world, the news story you linked to didn't say that at all.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

It would be sad that, with all the clear cases of child abuse in the name of 'discipline' that we read about every day, this is the case that sparks debate of what is discipline in Japan.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

I wouldn't discipline my kids by putting them out on a road in the middle of nowhere and driving away, but I find it hard to say that this family should be prosecuted for doing so. There was no violence perpetuated against the kid, the father was just trying to stop some undesired behavior, and it went wrong. I've walked away from my kid in the store when he was being stubborn about something, and it's hard, because if you keep looking back, they know that you aren't really leaving them and therefore won't come, but you still want to watch your kids to make sure their safe when you're leaving them alone.

We need to be very careful with our prosecution of parents for their parenting, otherwise we will hamstring them, leaving us with generations of useless children. We'd be better off creating support systems, and teaching appropriate methods of discipline.

And finally, I'm sure this father has received all the punishment he needs, having had his family in the spotlight for a week, being accused of murder (which so many irresponsible posters here did), and being worried about his son for days.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

the father was just trying to stop some undesired behaviour

You stop undesired behaviour when it's happening, not hours later in the day when the young perpetrator has probably forgotten all about it (or would have, if the parents hadn't gone on and on about it).

I've walked away from my kid in the store when he was being stubborn about something

Did you leave him in the store because he had been stubborn about something in another place, hours earlier? No? Then it's a completely different situation. You were dealing with an ongoing situation, not retaliating for something that was finished but that you couldn't let go of.

I don't think Yamato's parents need to be prosecuted; they've probably suffered enough as the result of their own stupid actions. What they need is some parenting guidance.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

We don't know if the issue was ongoing from the time he threw the rocks until he was abandoned - maybe they were talking about it the whole time and the boy was refusing to accept responsibility.

But I think that is irrelevant to be honest.

What they need is some parenting guidance.

I agree. Actually, I think everyone could do with some parenting guidance.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

maybe they were talking about it the whole time and the boy was refusing to accept responsibility

Maybe they were. Bad idea. Why go on and on about something that's done with? How much responsibility is a 7-year-old required to accept for something that he isn't doing anymore? With older kids, yes, impose time-outs, confiscate phones, stop Internet/TV privileges, whatever is appropriate to the 'crime'; but for a 7-year-old, guilt really isn't something they can (or should have to) carry with them for extended periods.

Another difference with your 'walk away from the kid in the shop' scenario (that struck me after I'd hit 'submit') is that in the shop the kid has the choice to run after you thus defusing the situation immediately; you're giving the child the ability and opportunity to sort things. Even if Yamato ran after the car, there is no realistic way in which he could catch up and defuse the situation; his parents left him totally powerless, which is not a good way to handle any human interaction, unless the aim is to destroy the other person emotionally. (Little Yamato doesn't appear to have been 'destroyed', but that's surely down to his own pluckiness and no thanks to his parents' disciplinary 'skills'.)

1 ( +1 / -0 )

**What they need is some parenting guidance.

I agree. Actually, I think everyone could do with some parenting guidance**.

Too true, even though I raised my son well I still did a lot of the same stuff I said I won't repeat from my folks raising me and added mistakes of my own.

Every kid is different and you always start at zero with knowing little to nothing.

Best is to have a wide support network and being able take a timeout/breather at tough times. Found out what most parents are worried about is seeing their own mistakes/short-comings in their own Kids.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

The media needs to report this better... the kid was missing for 5 days not 6... the parents did not abandon him on mountain road, they punished him for misbehaving. I personally would not have driven 500 meters away but if my child is throwing a tandem because I wont buy them something I just walk away. I agree a little excessive but until you have kids of your own (not your sisters or your friends) you will never fully understand.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

If it walks like a duck, flies like a duck and quacks like a duck, its a chicken, in japan.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Child abuse Vs Parents abuse I hope people can properly judge this incidence I'm so happy they found the boy... Great lesson for him to be obedient to his parents and to the Parents, to apply wisdom in dealing with him.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

until you have kids of your own (not your sisters or your friends) you will never fully understand.

I have two kids of my own, both grown now into fine young adults, and I certainly do not understand the 'reasoning' behind leaving a 7-year-old alone in a bear habitat for any length of time at all.

if my child is throwing a tandem because I wont buy them something I just walk away

That is not what was happening in this case.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

"Little Yamato doesn't appear to have been 'destroyed'"

What part of POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER don't you understand?

When he wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after having nightmares, and when he has flashbacks in the middle of the day when in school; who is he going to turn to for comfort?

Certainly not the same parents abandoned him in the fores. His parental trust has been destroyed, forever.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

What part of POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER don't you understand?

The part where they have said that Yamato has it. Because nothing I've seen anywhere has mentioned that.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Heck, I threw a tantrum to leave and had my bags packed, guess what once I was outside the apartment I got wise and wanted to come back inside, longest 10minutes of my life till I was let back in.

Abandoning a kid in a forest tells him he/she is on their own and can no longer trust their own family, this is after long abuse. Reason why he spend days in the shelter without notifying anyone.

Poor, kid he can no longer trust his family and needs to go into a shelter, many good ones run by Christians who don't force their faith into their wards.

Know a few kids who went there and even graduated from Uni.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

the parents did not abandon him on mountain road,

They did. The abandon is done in 2 minutes, the time for the car to get out of sight. Remorse can come after 5 minutes or after one hour , it's done, And there is no way that they went back after only 5 minutes as they say. There is no way to believe them after all their lies. We even have to find if that was the first time the boy was thrown in the woods or if that was the first time Yamato did not show up when they came back and called him...

We need to be very careful with our prosecution of parents for their parenting,

Sure. But if we let those that let the kids in the forest with bears go away with it, why not being indulgent with waterboarding ?

There was no violence perpetuated against the kid,

Abandon is not violence ? Cruelty and bullying are not violence because you can't see the scars ? Violence starts when the victim is dead and cold ?

The part where they have said that Yamato has it. Because nothing I've seen anywhere has mentioned that.

What you don't see doesn't exist ? The boy's just been found, so it's really early to say if he is OK, if he will be.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

"it's really early to say if he is OK"

The latest Japanese TV news says that the police have reported the parents to the child consultation centre for SUSPECTED PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE.

And that is good news!!

http://www.news24.jp/articles/2016/06/05/07331921.html?cx_recsclick=0

0 ( +0 / -0 )

As long as boy and parents learn there are consequences to their actions, then both have learned their lesson. No need for anyone to judge if it was right or wrong.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I was teaching a brother and sister whose parents did something similar to this when they were younger and misbehaving and arguing in the car. The parents dropped them off on a mountain road and drove away but came back a few minutes later to retrieve them. They were both very well mannered kids and respected their father after that whenever he told them to cut the crap and straighten out. As far as I can tell, their parents did a good job of raising their kids because they were very well mannered and polite in class compared with their fellow classmates.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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