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A bill banning parents from physically punishing children is expected to be passed during the current Diet session. Do you think it should be illegal for parents to hit their children as a means of discipline?

32 Comments
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What about teachers?

8 ( +10 / -2 )

Govt isn't the best at raising well adjusted children. Stay out of our homes.

A clearer definition of that a "hit" means is necessary. A swat on the bottom to get the attention of a child is very different than using a closed fist on a face. The 2nd would be unaccepted, while the first is a necessary skill sometimes.

6 ( +18 / -12 )

It should be illegal to assault anyone and perhaps particularly children. That you are their parent or guardian should bestow no special rights as "owner" upon you. If the parent believes it to be justified and necessary (such as immediate correction to avoid life threatening activities such as running into traffic) they can plead their case to the judge (or perhaps social worker if that is more practical) if it comes to that like any other assault defendant. That is my informed opinion anyway.

3 ( +12 / -9 )

Physical punishment has proven again and again to do more harm than good. People need to find better ways to parent.

12 ( +23 / -11 )

There's a big difference between discipline and abuse.

12 ( +20 / -8 )

I can understand the desire to keep it to the family's business, but too many bad parents will abuse their kid and use the current law as a justification. Best to just ban the practice for the good of all.

8 ( +15 / -7 )

By hitting a child, it teaches him or her that as a parent, you are not to be trusted. As good parents, a child learns from love to trust adults and does not develop an unhealthy fear of being physically punished for making mistakes. Take away toys, put children in time out, make them do chores as a punishment but never strike them with a fist or verbally abuse them. I speak from experience. My biological father (it digusts me to even call him a 'father') would regularly punch me in the chest when I was 12, would belittle me, verbally and emotionality abuse me and as I grew older I began to distrust and despise him for what he did. I remember the day I gave him the most evil, hateful stare I could and he said, "Don't look at me like that. It means you want to kill me." To which I replied, "Then you should stop hitting me." We haven't had any contact with each other in over 20 years.

4 ( +12 / -8 )

Can't believe I am agreeing with AJ above. A little bit of light physical discipline (no bruises, marks, etc) won't hurt (pun intended).

2 ( +11 / -9 )

Next there will be a law against having a 5 yr old standing in the corner.

Laws are for absolutes. Parenting is not usually working in the world of absolutes. When a 2 yr old is in the middle of a violent tantrum that will last 10 minutes, are you seriously going to attempt to reason with him/her?

-2 ( +10 / -12 )

There needs to be a clear definition of 'physical punishment' before I would consider supporting it.

4 ( +9 / -5 )

From a psychological standpoint as I see it the pros and cons of physical correction are as follows. Pros:

Possibly the approach to behavioral change which yields the quickest and most visible results. Cons: The medium is the message so while you may correct the behavior you want to correct you are ultimately teaching them to resolve conflict through violence. Often results in people who often are unable to express emotions well, have less developed reasoning abilities, sense of responsibility and self-determination. Is effectively ruling by way of fear and intimidation and not respect (they often seem the same at first to the observer). Demands more patience, consistency and faith of the parent.

It would be a logical conclusion therefore that physical correction only be employed when the need to correct behavior is immediate and urgent (ie dangerous behavior) and when the child is perhaps too young to learn in other ways before posing a risk to themselves.

But you don't have to take my word for it. University libraries are filled with journal articles written by developmental psychologists on the subject. You'd be hard pressed to find a majority who would advise physical correction as the primary means of discipline for children.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Twice I smacked my older daughter for dangerous behaviour, once when she ran across a main road in an emotional rage without looking left or right, and once when she picked up a knife and pointed it at her mother. Each time I told her what I was going to do and why, and how it would hurt, to help her keep a reserve of caution when over-emotional, and then smacked her hard on the back of the hand. Thirty-five years ago it was, and I still remember both incidents clearly.

With the younger I never needed to use physical enforcement of any message.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

No . . . but moderation must be used.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

I am all for this law. Physical punishment causes psychological damage into adulthood.

What about teachers? The are already forbidden to use corporal punishment by Article 11 of the Education Law.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

When a 2 yr old is in the middle of a violent tantrum that will last 10 minutes, are you seriously going to attempt to reason with him/her?

Really? How violent can a 2yr old be while throwing a tantrum? Does the child hit you or chase you with a knife? Does he/she bite you or kick you?

So instead of waiting the tantrum to finish you decide to punish him or her with spanking. Reasoning with a 2 yo is not an option as the child is not in a developmental stage for reasoning. There are, however, other ways to deal with tantrums. Next time try to spare 10 minutes of your precious time and give them to your child by waiting for him/her to get out of the tantrum. Believe it or not, children always do.

There’s a big difference between discipline and abuse.

Yes. When you discipline your child (and you do it consistently all the way from the cradle to his/her becoming a grown up) you do not need corporal punishment.

A swat on the bottom to get the attention of a child is very different than using a closed fist...

Believe it or not, there are a hundred other ways to get the attention of a child without swatting them on the bottom. It is incredible how lazy people can be when it comes to learning about how to be better parents. Swats, spanks, fists... all of them are expressions of physical power of one person (the parent) over another person (the child).

Swatting, spanking, hitting, all create distrust towards the parent and teach the child that it is ok not to try to find a solution different from corporal punishment.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Who is naive enough to believe that this ban would actually put a stop to the abuse? It's a bad idea as making it a law will hurt more than it will help. Stupid people will make stupid choices regardless of laws.

I've seen situations where government services accompanied by police visit homes where parents were reported by people out of spite because they felt inferior or inadequate in their own parenting skills. Those visits damaged the life of the home as it was horribly humiliating for them.

Children have also called and reported abuse to police where none occurred. Those parents were terrified that they would lose their children. Once children recognize that they have this power over their parents many will use it.

It's a ridiculously bad idea and needs to just go away.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

So instead of waiting the tantrum to finish you decide to punish him or her with spanking.

Nobody said anything about spanking. If you want to use my words against me, please actually use my words.

I am not going to wait for a 2 yr old having a tantrum in a crowded restaurant or airplane to finish being upset. That is unacceptable behavior.

I've seen corporal punishment applied in school with a paddle.

-4 ( +2 / -6 )

I am not going to wait for a 2 yr old having a tantrum in a crowded restaurant or airplane to finish being upset. That is unacceptable behavior.

This is what's wrong with so many of our kids today. They've learned that any behavior is acceptable.

-4 ( +3 / -7 )

The extreme reaction to this reminds me of reactions to moves to prevent sexual harassment:

"PC gone mad! We aren't even allowed to flirt now!"

If you don't know the difference between flirting and harassment, discipline and violence, then these laws are for you.

4 ( +7 / -3 )

TheFu

Cannot help but wonder how you are going to stop the 2 yo’s tantrum? Would love to hear your thoughts.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

You hit people to hurt them, kids included - if you don't want to inflict pain then don't hit your kids. Simple.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Yes, but with zero punishment for people who beat children, what the hell does it matter?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Discipline kids with morals, not with intimidation and violence. Sadly, many parents cannot discipline themselves, better less discipline their kids. Bad parents create bad kids. That's all there is to it.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Cannot help but wonder how you are going to stop the 2 yo’s tantrum? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Redirection. https://www.verywellfamily.com/redirection-child-discipline-2764979 Sometimes, before that is effective, something else needs to get the attention of the toddler - think of it as a surprise, not discipline.

Redirection alone works, but there are other tools. And we want to find a way to praise good behavior afterwards.

There isn't a cookbook and every child is different. If your daughter chooses to bite, that can't be allowed.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

There are times with a toddler, such as a habit of running blindly into the street, where timing and degree of 'urgency' (life threatening behavior) dictate an immediate and definitive 'conditioning' response that only a Pavlovian 'aversive' stimulus can be hoped to give because 'instinctive' (programmed) reflexive behavior by the child is necessary in some situations to keep the child safe and alive and that kind of behavior must be implanted in the brainstem. In other words, ya want the first time they run mindlessly out into the street to be the LAST time they run mindlessly out into the street. Show them your terror...'gently', of course, and when combined with short but vigorous buttockical massage, life saving inhibition may be best implanted. But use of physical aversion techniques should NEVER be used in social interactions but only when the behavior is potentially life threatening. That's what pain IS FOR, education.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

There are times with a toddler, such as a habit of running blindly into the street, where timing and degree of 'urgency' (life threatening behavior) dictate an immediate and definitive 'conditioning' response that only a Pavlovian 'aversive' stimulus can be hoped to give because 'instinctive' (programmed) reflexive behavior by the child is necessary in some situations to keep the child safe and alive and that kind of behavior must be implanted in the brainstem.

What a load of codswallop, trying to hide behind big words.

If you have a toddler with a habit of running blindly anywhere, you as the adult are charged with the responsibility of holding the child's hand firmly, putting him in a harness and lead, whatever it takes, to stop him running blindly into the street in the first place. Show me a toddler running blindly into the street, and I will show you an adult who is failing. You think it's OK for a failed adult to lay into a small child, to punish said child for the adult's shortcomings?

Unless you manage things so that the toddler doesn't run blindly into the street in the first place, that first escapade could very well be the last: the consequence of running blindly into the street is not a paddling on the buttocks, but potentially getting hit by a vehicle and never being able to run anywhere ever again.

Instead of punishing the child after the fact for your inability to prevent said life-threatening behaviour, punish yourself for mindlessly putting the child in danger.

Small children need management and guidance, not punishment.

Show them your terror...'gently', of course

Chilling.

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Love those ridiculous comments about belting a kid to be quiet or to stop a tantrum. Most of the cases of abuse of small children are because the child wouldn't stop crying. The child won't stop crying, so you hit them? What an idiotic response! Children do not have tantrums unless provoked by their parents. They are usually the result of a child being spoiled. It is never necessary to hit a child for any reason! It is just a pathetic intimidation response from someone who does not have the intelligence to discipline children without belting them. I have four kids and five grandchildren. We have a rule in our family, "No hitting ever!" None of the children in my family are maladjusted or unruly and I don't recall ever having to deal with a tantrum. Parents responsibility is to educate children with do's and don'ts and morals. What do you teach a child if you belt them for being a child? Then, your child starts hitting other children and you hit your child for it. Can anybody understand how flipping ridiculous this is?

4 ( +5 / -1 )

TheFu

You previous comments imply that using physical power is an option in disciplining a child. Glad to see you do not advocate spanking or hitting a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Disillusioned

Never thought that I would find a common ground with you :-) Though I believe that every toddler has bad moments, hitting/spanking should never be an option. Adults should know better.

W Bjornson

What Cleo said.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

.

@ ramses68: What about teachers?.

Good point ! :-)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

If you don't know the difference between flirting and harassment, discipline and violence, then these laws are for you.

Amen to that. And to everything Cleo said.

@ ramses68:

What about teachers?

No hitting them either.

;-)

2 ( +2 / -0 )

We had this law in New Zealand. It lasted just a few years the canceled.

Huge waste of time for the police and the court system as well.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Q: Govt. taking care of citizen and Govt. has right to enforce law if any citizen break the law, result are punishment ( sentenced for different periods)

Most of the parents wish good present and future for their child.

Child should have the responsibility to listen to parents whenever they give good instruction.

Other hand parents are taking care of child, spending their hole life, income, properties etc. to help to build kids present & future ( of course excluding parents those who assaulting kids), but unfortunately I don't see any protection for parents.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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