Men come here for different reasons, mainly because they want to be listened to.

I need a picture to truly care about this quote. Then I can judge how stupid she sounds.

Men go to hostess bars because they want to be pampered just as their mommies did when they were kids. They revert to childhood once they step inside the bar. I know many hostesses and they all describe the business the same way: sit there, pour drinks, compliment the guy and pretend to take an interest or be impressed with what they are saying.

Can't imagine hostess bars are doing well amid the current recession, though.

Can't imagine hostess bars are doing well amid the current recession, though.

You'd be surpised then.

MOst men go to thoses places because they lack the necessary social skills to meet and converse with real peopleThey can only handle interaction with paid robo-girls who agree with everything they say and giggle as programmed. I swear this is gonna be the first country to have robo-sex dolls and robotic girlfriends, and watch how the population drops then!! Honestly, paying someone to listen to you? Maybe its what you're saying.

Hostess bars have been around forever and if the guy can exchange coin for an ego boost then that's fine. The conversations with the best hostesses are two way and quite pleasant. It beats the hell out of a Roppongi bar with a bunch of drunks.

this is so true of japan - whilst working at a big eikaiwa of the past, i felt pretty similar to a hostess: having to listen to the most socially inept man talk, or finding enough questions to encourage him to talk if he was that verbally challenged... plus handling the come ons and lecherous looks. yuk. i imagine thats why so many salarymen learnt english - to have the right to hit on the teacher because they paid for it.

I went a couple of times to a hostess bar in Niigata that some of my female colleagues liked. The hostesses there were friendly and I found myself listening to the boyfriend troubles of one. It was quite fun. As someone who doesn't find it easy to make small talk with people with whom I have nothing in common (e.g. most of my in-laws), I've developed a greater appreciation of the abilities required of your average hostess, who has to talk to the punters, regardless of whether they find them interesting or not.

They can only handle interaction with paid robo-girls who agree with everything they say and giggle as programmed.

I believe there is something much more significant going on, and why the kinds of hostess bars that offer high-level conversation are especially popular among the Japanese. (I've been to members-only Japanese hostess bars in New York City as well as in Japan, and I have found nothing else quite like them.)

In my view, what hostess bars offer the Japanese is the chance to enjoy some extremely clever and often personally-revealing conversation without any feelings of continuing obligation. The environment offers clear boundaries that don't exist in the often-spontaneous relationships out in the world outside the club. A patron can go in and talk, laugh, and otherwise become light-hearted for the moment and not have to worry about an ongoing thing.

Am I suggesting that the hostess bar should replace other relationships in the world? Not at all! But an enjoyable time at such a bar can supplement our real relationships when we just don't want to burden our friends with our troubles.

Where can I sign up to be a highly paid "hostess with the mostess"? My evening business classes love me for my conversation abilities! But, the pay as a hostess must be much, much better, no?

all of your replies are very valid, but I still thank my stars that i have never had to pay to find someone to talk to, and I guess that makes it seem very odd to me. Natural and spontaneous human interaction is lovely, and if you have the right attitude you can make friends wherever you go, for free.

but I still thank my stars that i have never had to pay to find someone to talk to...

I used to think the same way. I might visit my favorite hostess bar once every two years and, when I do, I've come to consider it as a sort of spa treatment for the psyche. However, I enjoy listening as much as being listened to -- and some of those gals have had some fascinating experiences, and are as good at reading people as any shrink.

It is a very intriguing sub-culture and I'd hate to see it disappear. (I suspect it would not be too far off to say that it has some roots in the traditional geisha world.)

definately not a sub-culture in Japan though. There are more hostess/ snack bars around than actual bars and nightclubs where you might meet a stranger. I would rather see it scaled down, so that Japanese men don"t rely on it so heavily and be forced into a little bit of natural social settings.