The outlook remains tough. The number of people buying engagement rings will continue to fall.

Good. Maybe the tradition of forking over the equivalent of three months salary or more in a bid to buy the love of the one you plan to marry will disappear entirely. It's a vulgar remnant of paying dowries in which women are little more than property to be bartered for and haggled over, like so much cattle.

the tradition of forking over the equivalent of three months salary or more

Just curious, where is this? First time I heard of it.

Just curious, where is this? First time I heard of it.

first time heard of buying an engagement ring ?

forking over the equivalent of three months salary or more in a bid to buy the love of the one you plan to marry

Hmm. If that's what you think it takes, then maybe you and/or she are not ready to take the plunge?

The whole marriage thing seems to be changing, for the better, I think. A lot of the old 'rules' are being thrown out, and engaged couples are doing their own thing; no more of the 'contract between families' stuff, go-betweens, etc. The couple can decide for themselves whether they want a ring. And the canny bride-to-be fully understands that when her ardent suitor is splurging gallons of cash in 'a bid to buy her love', it's her (future) money that he's spending.

I don't really have any sympathy for the marketers of these companies that tell us that diamonds are "rare" and if we want to "make her happy" we'd better fork over the money and get her diamonds. Media portrayals add pressure as well for men to really spend a crapload of money before the marriage to woo, ask, and wed women. The equivalent of three months salary is not something that LFRAgain just made up, that was something that was marketed to men in America not less than 5 years ago. It's really a ridiculous notion that a man must waste his money on an engagement ring and then turn around and buy a new SET of rings for the marriage. I truly hope, cleo, that indeed people are moving on from the old rules, which wasted a lot of money needlessly. I like that people are deciding for themselves. But I don't think LFRAgain was saying that was what he really thought. What he said was completely the sort of thing young American men get fed before they get married (among many other money-wasting things). (Source: being a young American male targeted by diamond companies and "old" rules of wooing and marriage)

it would be great if more people CHOSE to get married, rather than doing it out of obligation, pressure from parents, or just a desire to do the "normal" thing

it's her (future) money that he's spending.

no bride-to-be is thinking of this. all they're thinking about is their "fairy tale" perfect wedding ceremony. the only day of their life when they'll be permitted to be special. i just hope they don't come to regret the choices they make in order to have their ring and white dress....

Exactly right, griff. At least, that's the impression we get from women in media (movies, TV, magazines, etc..) and the various marketing campaigns thrown on by diamond and jewelery companies. Though I've seen it in reality as well.

cleo--Doesn't it say a lot about the woman when she continues to let the man spend all that money, even when she's aware that he's throwing away a huge chunk of their future money, and she doesn't stop him? Why do women put their future on such a rough foundation to start out willingly, all in the hopes that they can achieve that perfect wedding DAY (and get that completely materialistic and unnecessary engagement ring)? But if things are indeed changing as you say (and I also agree to an extent that they are), that's very much a positive thing.

Doesn't it say a lot about the woman when she continues to let the man spend all that money, even when she's aware that he's throwing away a huge chunk of their future money, and she doesn't stop him?

Well it would if that is what was happening. The quote would seem to suggest that that is not the case, however.

Why do women put their future on such a rough foundation

Women don't. Some women do.

it's her (future) money that he's spending.

no bride-to-be is thinking of this

That would be news to my daughter, who was a bride-to-be until quite recently and has been keeping an eye on their joint finances ever since they announced their engagement.