I'm sorry that this poor woman went through this but how naïve can one be? If some guy I have never met face to face asks me for an invite an three in the morning I would know right then and there that his intentions are suspect. Anyway, I wish her a speedy recovery and a lesson learned as this could have been much worse.
5 ( +5 / -0 )
A harness is also good for giving Tiny a bit of freedom; he can toddle around and cover a greater area, with both hands free, than he can if he has to hold Mum's hand.
Exactly! My little one would fight me every time I try to put her in a stroller. She started walking at 10 months and has not stopped running since. The harness allowed her to freedom and mobility to explore her surroundings. And she has been taught safety and about holding my hand in parking lots which we enforced, harness or not. She is nearly 8 now and sill grabs for my hand in a parking lot, never wanders more than 5 feet from me in the shops and always stops to check for traffic before crossing a road. The harness never hindered the teaching aspect of raising my child.
Actually having to raise your own kids can be very humbling though.
True. As I tell my 21 yr old (who seems to think she knows everything) ....intelligence and maturity does not equate to experience. Just see how much of your opinions change based on new experiences.
4 ( +4 / -0 )
I didn't feel the need to use one with my oldest but my youngest was another story. One never left my side, the other was a runner. It wasn't something I needed each time we went out, just depended on where and what we were doing. I think it's the parents call as it is their child and they are the ones who are responsible for their children. Judgment should be reserved for those who endanger a child and not for those who are proactively trying to keep them safe.
3 ( +3 / -0 )
Technically these boys are homeless. They don't own or rent, their parents do. The only thing they "own" is their crappy attitudes and arrogance. Should they be treated in the same manner then?
2 ( +2 / -0 )
This is in bad taste. In 1997 there was a school shooting incidence in this city where a high school student opened fire on a group of students that were praying. I never lived in Kentucky and as soon as I read this I remembered so how can a church community in the same city have already forgotten? I am without words to the insensitivity.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
Yep....kids run off. And since most of us know this then what are parents doing about it? My youngest was a runner so I used a harness with her. It allowed her the freedom to walk on her own within 3 feet of mommy or daddy. It may not be popular but I can say that I have never ever lost any of my children. I see so many posting that kids are quick and they just run off. So let's not blame the parents and blame the child instead? Who exactly is accountable for the childs safety? Being proactive in your childrens safety is the difference between tucking your child in bed each night or becoming another tragic report in the news.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
As a smoker even I don't think people should smoke while walking. I don't like people smoking in restaurants or any other indoor location where others gather. It's rude and inconsiderate to the non-smokers. And even though I smoke, I don't want it floating about my head while dining. Smoking is my bad habit, not yours, so I don't have the right to subject others to my choice. Besides even this smoker thinks that walking around in a crowd with a "nic stick" hanging out your mouth makes you look like an inconsiderate boob.
5 ( +5 / -0 )
There was a nice little break in the rain Saturday so we ran a quick errand to the Aurora mall. Within a half hour of coming home the sky opened up again and we were pelted with hail, rain, thunder and lightening. The news showed that the very mall we just left had flooded and the section of the parking lot we were in had turned into a lake. This rain is just crazy. I hope that they are able to make contact soon with those that are still unaccounted for.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
calvinmontblanc, I get your point, but as a mother of an almost 5 year old and a newborn, leaving them ALONE at night would never cross my mind. I would go shopping in the daytime, with them both, instead. Because it is wrong to leave them home alone, IMO.
I 100% agree. I never left my little ones alone in the house, even to take out the trash. Just one moment of neglect can cause a lifetime of regret.
3 ( +5 / -2 )
Like they say, hindsight is 20/20. I read somewhere that the JSDF helicopter pilot that finally found the crash site reported that there were no signs of survivors which could explain why they waited for day light before setting forth to the site. That was after the USAF found and reported the crash location and was ordered to leave the area. Too many bad calls were made that led this to become a recovery mission vs. a rescue mission. I get that the Japanese official who made the call to decline US assistance had the right to do so, but do you think the that victims of the crash really cared what their rescuers nationality was? Tragic event that left many lessons to be learned.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
The problem with forming a conclusion from this article is that it is all one sided. We don't know what the husbands perspective was on what happened. What's his version of the incident? This is all about her own complaining on a site. How much of what she posted is actually what really happened and how much was exaggerated for the sake of obtaining sympathy and understanding from others on the site? There is always three sides to a story, his, hers and somewhere in there is the truth.
2 ( +2 / -0 )
Marriage is a partnership, not ownership. My husband has some really expensive hobbies (gym costs, hunting, fishing, camping, ATV's, etc). He works hard for and provides for his family and does not chase skirts. So what's there to complain about? The way I see it, as hard as he works he needs a release that is his own. Maybe this lady should have taken a little time talking with her husband to try and understand his hobby before taking any action. I'm sure she would have received his appreciation instead of his anger....maybe, since we don't know his side of the story.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
@kickboard, all I can base my opinions are on is what I experienced during my time there and what I read today. I hope you are right and things have changed for the halfs but the fact is that bullying itself still exists. It exists to the point that we read about young people commiting suicide all too often on this site. My comment is more about the attitudes of the parents and how they ignored their childrens behavior and not so much as what the subject of bullying is. Whatever the reason for bullying doesn't matter, this is about accountability. Sending these boys to a consultation center is something that should have been done before their victim took his own life, not after, it's too late for a good talking to, the damage has already been done and with no real consequence.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
I remember as a little girl in Japan visiting my grandparents house the neighborhood kids were bullying my sister, threw rocks and dirt on her just because we are "hafu". Their mothers were around and did nothing to stop them. That is until I came out and started to beat the tar out of them. Maybe they didnt like a little girl beating their sons. Anyway, my scrappy little japanese mother and grandmother came out and gave the other mothers a what for and threatened to do to them what their sons did to my sister and those kids never bothered us again. That was back in the 70's, it appears that nothing has changed in all these years. Of course I got in trouble for my actions but nothing will ever change unless the PARENTS get involved with their kids and teach them what acceptable behavior is and that comes with actually talking with your kids and listening to what your kids have to say. I do hope that more people spend some time thinking about this situation and take action to ensure this attitude and behavior does not continue.
2 ( +4 / -2 )
If I remember correctly, when this was first reported several months back, the 14 year old was just recently returned to her mothers custody. The fear of being removed again would be enough for a young girl of 14 to hesitate in asking for help. With the limited reporting in this case I won't place blame on the elder child. It's the mother who is at fault, she left her children and left the country. No excuse.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
I hadn't thought about that, ChibaChick. Though I cringe to recommend it but I would rather the parent safely set the baby down in his bed and step outside the apartment and just sit outside the door if that prevents them from losing their temper. I hate seeing this kind of news but I hope people will start paying attention and figure out for themselves what not to do.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
Here in the US there isn't a day that goes by where you don't see a PSA on TV about shaken baby syndrome at least a half dozen times. If the baby is crying and you think you're going to lose it then lay they baby down in a safe place and step away to another room and get yourself together. If you think you're frustrated then think about how your child feels not able to get you to understand what is bothering him/her. Concern yourself more with the child and less about yourself and you might be suprised at how the crying starts to bother you less.
5 ( +6 / -1 )
Stay safe Yuri. I spoke with my parents out in OK today and looks like you all are in for more rough weather through tomorrow. There were two touchdowns NE of Tulsa within the 20 minutes phone conversation, very scary.
-1 ( +1 / -2 )
I like that the mother did what she did. I like that the teens took action and alerted the family. It does bother me though that another child was abducted and assulted just a week prior in the same complex and this little girl was out there on her own playing without adult supervision. I hope that the families living there, or anywhere else, will be more vigilant from now on so that this kind of news need not be reported again.
2 ( +4 / -2 )
This is ridiculous. Unless his mother somehow forced him to hide his condition to get this job I don't see any liability on her part. Who knows what he told his mother about his employment situation. She might have been told that his employers were okay with his condition. Cut the apron strings already and let adults accept responsibility for their own actions. When I was 28 there wasn't much my parents could tell me as to how to lead my life and whatever consequences came my way was all on me.
3 ( +6 / -3 )
Ahhh....I stand corrected hachikoreloaded. You are correct, as humans we are all fallible and often fall short of perfection.
2 ( +3 / -1 )
Yurie, again that falls back to being reactive with regards to peoples postings. No one can imagine something horrific like this will happen to them but think for a second.....in not me then who? We all know it happens and it is careless to believe that you are immune to it. That is where the "better safe than sorry" mindset plays it's part. Look, I hear these stories all the time. I am an auto accident adjuster in the US and investigate accidents everyday. (I work from my home office so that is why I get to be home with my children and watch them the way I want them to be watched). Perhaps this is why I am able to remove my emotions and fingerpointing from this. I want more details before reaching a conclusion. Do not let the ones who are jumping on your posts get to you or make you angry, they are expressing their opinions just like you and I are doing. Don't let them bait you into an argument and remain civil like you are with me and just discuss. Differing opinions are good, it allows us to think in a direction that we didn't come up with on our own. We still don't have to agree with it after giving it thought though, lol. After all, our opinions and the right to express them is ours to choose.
1 ( +3 / -2 )
Yurie, I don't think you understand what I said about emotions. I didn't say anyone lacked emotions here, least of all you. I said that many are posting based on emotions. Which directions they blame will be based on their own opinions by experience and observation. Most people are reactive and not proactive. Like with most situations there is a lot of finger pointing but no solutions. As I said before, everyone is right and everyone is wrong, this is not a black and white situation. All parties involved hold a certain amount of responsibility but with so little details it is hard to say who really holds the larger burden of responsibility.
And truth be told, it's not about money when keeping your children safe, it's about vigilance. You make do with what you have in all aspects of life including childrens safety. With my oldest we were in our 20's and had very little. And, truth be told, little knowledge or experience and made our fair share of mistakes. I don't doubt this mother is probably in the worst place imaginable right now emotionally. Lessons are learned with experience. However I will say this, with as much that is reported in the news about these types of accidents, this is not another lesson that was needed to be learned but should have already been a concern to many parents out there. We all need to approach situations with a "better safe than sorry" attitude, especially when it comes to children.
2 ( +4 / -2 )
Yurie, I have a daughter your age and one that is 6 yrs old. Like you, my oldest would leave her sister outside, but I don't. I live on a street that does not have a lot of traffic but a lot of speeders. My oldest doesn't think of the potential danger and expect that her little sister will just mind her and stay put. When my children were toddlers I was always with them outside the home. Inside the house they were always on the same level of the home as I was on. I had baby gates set up, doors and windows latched, only use back burners on the stove, etc. When shopping my littles wore a harness or held my hand always. Only when they started school were they completely out of my sight. It's the parents duty to foresee and avoid possible dangers. It's the promise that I and countless parents made that we will keep them safe. That's why people are reacting so greatly to the parents. And no, making yourself a cup of tea while your sister plays is not neglect....unless you left her outside with no supervision to monitor her safety.
Keep in mind too that most people are reactive when they read news that a child has been hurt or killed and many times post based on emotions. But this story is not black and white as there is so few details as to what really happened. The truth is, with what little is reported everyone is right and everyone is wrong. SHould the parents been more vigilant of where their children were playing and their surroundings? Yes. Should the driver been more vigilant in his driving and actions in a residential area with narrow street? Yes. Had everyone done what they should have done would this child be alive today? Yes.
4 ( +6 / -2 )
The truth is that no one can say with any certainty who is at fault here until the entire story is told. But as a mother I hold any parent with greater burden of responsibility of keeping their children safe and out of harms way.....it's our duty to do so.
4 ( +5 / -1 )
At 14 the girl knew what she was doing. However, she did not know or appreciate the consequences of her choices and actions, no matter what she thinks. At this age most kids can only see what is right in front of them. "Adults and parents are stupid, it's our life so we can do what what we want, blah, blah, blah". There are consequences to every one of our choices and most teens cannot see far enough as to how these choices will affect their future. That's why it's up to the grown folks to set rules and laws to protect the children. No, she is not innocent. Yes, she made her choice. But the responsibility of this specific incidence is on the 39 yr old man who was more concerned with fullfilling his fetish and showed no regard to the young girl in front of him.
2 ( +2 / -1 )
Cleo, I actually understand and agree with your last comment. When I worked outside the home I seemed to have had more time than I do now that I work from my home office. In order to be able to work from home I took a pay cut so I do more around the house to balance the loss in income. I also find that I have less of a social life now that I am at home. I don't think that one is better over the other, just different.
1 ( +3 / -2 )
@kimuzukasiiiii Fair enough...my fault for not being clear enough. I am not assuming that I am better because I am older. These younger mothers at my daughters school never included the older mothers to begin with. Just saying that many of us are at a point in life where it does not bother us as it might of before and most of us have no desire to compete. This is not my first rodeo, I also have a twenty year old so I speak from personal experience of the different mind set based on age of these mommy social groups. My not giving a $hit in my 40's differs from when I didn't give a $hit in my twenties. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding and that I was not attempting to offend anyone.
9 ( +10 / -1 )
My mommy friends and I call this behavior MOM-petition and they exist everywhere. My child is in kindergarten and I am in my 40's so the young moms leave me alone and I associate with the other "older" moms who have already reached the age of "I don't give a $hit".
17 ( +20 / -3 )