Anonymous Human comments

Posted in: 10 things foreign guys do that make Japanese girls fall head over heels See in context

These are such painfully naive statements. Men all over the world (including the Japanese) do similar things like this until they get comfortable and get what they want. Very few of them actually continue these kinds of behaviors. And most of these are meaningless fluff. How many men have these women dated? 1? 2? I'm a bit embarrassed for them.

Years ago, I left my American boyfriend for a Japanese man and now we're married. My ex was a boy who didn't know what to do with me, he was insecure about my education and career choices. I was always encouraging him to find his path in life and he was too busy feeling sorry for himself to notice. He tried to say similar things to me, as these women mention... but it was all fake and short-lived. One of the straws that broke the camel's back was he screamed at me for making him a painting for our 4th anniversary. We were both low on money at the time and we agreed not to buy each other presents, but make them, instead. I brought the painting and he flipped out on me, screaming and throwing things, all because he apparently didn't make me anything. I told him that I was perfectly ok with not getting anything and then he didn't talk to me for a week. Instead, he sat in his room, playing video games. I couldn't take it, anymore and I walked away.

On the other hand, my husband filled his apartment with lights and roses when he proposed to me (only after driving 6 hours one way to ask my entire family for their permission), he makes me hand-written/drawn cards even though he can't draw to save his life, kisses me and tells me he loves me several times a day, brushes my hair every morning before we shower (and gets very sad on the rare ocassion that we miss our morning shower together) and does all sorts of other really sweet things for me. He gave me flowers every month for the first year we were together and he never forgets dates like anniversaries and birthdays. Years ago, he was so excited to have me start staying at his place that he had a toothbrush and a new pillow waiting for me when I came to see him. It was adorable.

To be honest with you... in the beginning of our relationship, he was so romantic that I called my mother, crying, and told her I didn't know how to respond. I was quite close to actually getting scared off over it! She told me I was being an idiot and "This is how real men treat the woman they love and you've only been with boys, so you aren't used to it. But you deserve it. So don't run from it, be thankful that you found a good one and keep him around", which helped snap me out of it. She's been happily married for almost 40 years, so I took her word for it. And thank heavens I did, because I'm so happy, now.

By the way... HE COOKS AND DOES HIS OWN LAUNDRY. Willingly. I never have to ask. And he is my biggest fan, he is helping me reach a dream I had but was afraid to try a few years ago. He looks at me as a partner, a friend, an equal. Something the others were unable to do.

All of this is a far cry from my American exes. And, unlike most of the stories in this article, my husband has continued to do these things and many of the romantic things he does are also functional, they make my daily life easier and more pleasant. My husband is also very socially intelligent and he made me aware of his feelings in a rather direct way- tickling me and then kissing me. He was so smooth about it, I nearly fell over (damn knees). My ex didn't respond to months of my flirtation and I finally had to ask him out, myself.

I feel bad for these women in the article, I truly do. They just don't get it. They've shunned their own men for something that more than likely isn't real. There are plenty of good and bad non-Japanese and Japanese men, but they aren't seeing that. They're falling for some of the oldest tricks in the book and it's because they aren't familiar with our cultures the way that we are.

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