Apple TV is one of the best products we have ever bought. With UK, US & Japanese accounts I can stream an incredible wealth of programs for us to watch in Japan for a fraction of what video/DVD rental or purchase here costs.
As for the new iPad, I would like so might do a trade-in at some point. It is great for training, homework research and generally fleshing out ideas, particularly using mind-mapping apps.
I have tried competitor products and although some have a number of pluses, overall we prefer the comfort of the Apple products.
4 ( +5 / -1 )
The psychological make-up of a child is made of child based experiences and views of the world 'they' live in. An adults 'theirs'. Yes, depression is one of many mental diseases, just as cancer is a physical one, yet for a child to commit suicide even if they were prone to such a disease would still need a 'trigger' or number of them in order to take such drastic action. Therefore, what were they and what action did adults that interacted with the child take to notice them? Teacher and not just parents should be made aware of the warning signs and given help in learning to deal with matters that can lead to such loss of precious life.
In closing, for those giving me the thumbs down and don't know me, just know that I have been through the tragic death of my only son in a traffic accident on his way to school last year, so have first hand experience at the horror the death of a child to bring, hence my comments above this one.
6 ( +6 / -0 )
Reading this story felt like someone ripping a piece of my heart out. To lose a child in an accident is one thing, but to lose them at this age through suicide is a totally different ball game.
Parents and close relatives need to be made aware of that children do not have the psychological stability and experience to deal with the pressures an adult can often endure, and so must be treated in a way that helps them and not constantly criticizes them for every single fault or error.
Parents, in my humble opinion, should also learn how to cope with children under stress, or at least learn to recognize it first for what it is.
As for any reader her feeling hopeless, understand this is a temporary state and it will in time pass so get support to help your during this state. Anyone really need help feel free to contact me if no other viable option helping keep you here, although TELL (Tokyo English Life Line) should be your first port of call.
Take care readers and look after your children with extra love and care. There is something they might not be telling you...
4 ( +6 / -2 )
Unemployment rate will go down as orgs will split the hours between more people for less hours each. The income of individuals though will go down as they and those employed FT at such places will pay for it one way or another and not the org overall, and neither the government.
Basically, I understand what they are trying to do, only it is going to take some real statistic and scenario crunching in order to find the best balance.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
Smokers only need to succeed once to 'Enjoy stop smoking'.
3 ( +3 / -0 )
Not sure about the statistics personally, but restaurant and pub bans like in the UK would really be welcome. I walked out of a Chinese restaurant at lunch-time the other day having only half eaten my meal as 4 OL's and 2 truck drivers either side of me all lit up about the same time. Not only was I choking on their smoke, the food that is usually excellent just tasted vile.
Anyone have the latest update on when we can expect the change that has been rumoured for the last five or so years?
0 ( +2 / -2 )
@GoGoGoHanshinTigers, I had similar happen to me. Grandmother suddenly died, rushed to get to the UK in time for the funeral. Checked at Narita that I had a valid re-entry permit, I did. Was away for one month sorting out family matters after the funeral. Came back 10 days after the re-entry expired with my Japanese wife and found myself in a world of hurt. I lost my PR after having it for 13yrs, was forbidden to travel outside of Tokyo or Chiba for 3 months while they 'investigated.'
Finally told I could appeal which I did and it took 2 years to get my PR back. In the meantime, I was given a spouse visa. The heavy handedness at Narita was unbelievable with both my wife and I being taken into separate interview (interrogation) rooms and forced to write letters, sign forms stating all kinds of ridiculous things. Mostly gang and drug related, which were just totally unbelievable. We were there after travelling for over 20 hours for about 6 hours just being questioned by different 'interviewers'. No phone calls allowed and even speaking Japanese and doing the usual apology thing made no difference. Basically, just nasty bastards because they could be.
This was in the days of Otemachi immigration office, so I had to report there afterwards. They were great and apologised for the treatment we had received and told us that Narita were too strict given the circumstances. i.e. death of a family member, valid visa on leaving, children left in Japan, married to a Japanese, fluent Japanese speaker, no previous issues, business owner and employee of Japanese etc., etc. It was them who issued the spouse visa and advised me to write to their head of immigration and explain what has happened. I did but it took two years for everything to get sorted.
Therefore, the change in the re-entry rules are very welcome, but other elements of the change have made me feel very wary, especially in light of what happened previously, so I will not be making the change to the new one until the last year necessary. Give it time for any other changes to be included or leave here anyway after 26+ years and a waning passion these last few years in particular - death of son etc.
Thing is, we are always going to be at the mercy of immigration and in a country like Japan, this can often go against what we would consider progress in the system for the better, especially of those with PR, families and businesses here. So, a back-up plan or exit strategy is always worth considering.
3 ( +3 / -0 )
Turned out to be a bum job then.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
Where does the bast@rd live, and let't ALL go kick balls into his yard. See how he deals with an angry mob. Poor kid and at nine he will have to deal with years of psychological issues that will stem from this. Hope he gets good councelling and support.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
@Yubaru: It is impossible to be hypnotized, which is always self-hypnosis, into doing anything you do not want to do anyway. Comments like yours can be misleading for those that have fear of are suspicious of those skilled in the profession of hypnosis, clinical or stage.
I suspect the woman was suffering from some sort of mental disorder, such as psychosis, paranoia or multiple personality disorder. She needs medical help first and foremost.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
@tmarie - keeping things in perspective from my own situation. Yes, it was a tragic accident. All drivers have moments when their attention is inadequately focused on the road. Most times they/we are lucky and we get away with it and no one gets hurt. In our case, the driver admitted he was not paying enough attention, even though he had been a truck driver for 32yrs. The situation we are disgusted with is that he gets a 14month sentence, suspended for five years. So, he a single middle-aged male gets to go back to work. Go out with his friends and despite any guilt or remorse he feels, just carry on with his life.
For us, the repercussions of the accidents have been terrifying, and I use this word deliberately.
-a 10yr old daughter that cannot sleep and has nightmares. On Monday, she came into our bedroom in the morning and said to me, "Daddy, I had a nightmare again. Someone broke in downstairs and shot Emily." (our dog). Then she said, "Daddy, I am still in pain about Taizor being killed. What should I do?" This is only the tip of the iceberg and changing schools was necessary to help her move on too. Again, huge disruption to our lives all because of someone else.
-my wife/his mother suffering the most intense feelings of guilt, grief, anger, loss. Emotions so intense that my wife's only way to deal with them is to ask for a divorce, because she does not know what else to do. Trapped in the most horrendous and intense pain day-in, day-out like huge emotional waves running through her whole body with the fight or flight syndrome kicking in and out making this very unstable.
-his grand-mothers, grieving over what they think is just wrong when they at around their 70's see their precious beautiful grandson dead before them. My mother having to pull the car over to the side of the road so she can open the door as she begins one of many sessions of throwing up violently in such intense grief and pain. Having to call the doctor out because she thinks she is going to have a heart-attack.
-me, having to try and hold everything together so our lives can continue and those around me in such despair feel they have someone strong they can come to, rely on and help them carry-on. This on top of overwhelming pressure of such sudden and tragic loss causing feelings or suicidal tendencies raising to the surface to escape the pressure, pain, guilt, grief and then amplified because we suddenly find ourselves with huge bills and financial losses we we not prepared for. 1.25m JPY loss over funeral costs. Loss of income, three months off work trying to deal with the aftermath of family wreckage, while being worried about we could go bankrupt. Medical bills, new school bills, flights to the UK to deal with family issues their since they could not come to the funeral. Me having to relive the accident time and time again each time I met one of our family members or his school friends. Just all so overwhelming and I am one of the luckier ones.
Professionally trained in dealing with such psychological trauma and how to deal with it put me on a much better state of mind to deal with all the emotions around me, including my own. I also have a good network of close friends and team members around me that are very capable, and have help to carry some of the burden I am dealing with. Yet, then they suffer too.
All this above is only a fraction of what has gone on since the day of the accident five months ago today. We also have first events since the death. His 19th birthday in November, then there is Xmas, New Year, the anniversary of his death next year, our birthdays, father and mother's days etc. All this is going on while lawyers and insurance companies work at deciding what they will present to another court so that a settlement can be made. This money is then supposed to compensate us for the death of our son caused by someone not paying attention while driving. It never can and all it can do is try to offset the dreadful financial circumstances we find ourselves in caused by the person who killed our son.
So, this is not about emotions getting the better of me personally. Just pointing out very clearly that the punishment needs to fit the crime and that in Japan, driving offenses resulting in death or serious accident are not punished severely enough.
I asked the public prosecutor if I could see the driving safety awareness training records of the company. He told me their aren't any and by law they are not required. I said that I wanted the insurance companies to suffer so they would force those they insure to hold quarterly training or campaigns with all their drivers. Even weekly reminders telling all the drivers to remember no mobile phones without hands-free, stop at all crossings and make sure they look both ways, double-check for people running or riding near the side of the vehicles before they turn etc., would maybe save a life someone along the way. He said it would not happen and that he was dealing with the death of five other children as well as our case and as the father of a 7yr old himself, Japanese roads and the laws made him really worried because there was no easy way to make the necessary changes to improve road safety.
As for the crane driver, his crime resulted in the deaths of little children whose parents will never ever be the same again. Some may commit suicide, some divorce over it, some be be ostracized at events as people will avoid talking to them because of their own feelings, and the ripple effect just carries on. In the crane driver's case, he lied and is as guilty as a drunk driver in my mind since he knew he should not have been driving. Had this been a plane with several hundred people on board, how would people feel then?
Whether it be a car, crane, truck, train, bus, ship, plane, machine gun or bomb. It is the operator that should take full responsibility for any deaths or accidents they cause and the punishment take into consideration the ripple effect I have described in my own situation above. Remember, this will last a lifetime for us and we will never be the same again ever and neither will those poor parents.
No more from me on this subject here, but thanks all for reading, commenting and private messages I have received via FaceBook. There truly are some very wonderful and considerate people amongst you, and this goes for those against my opinion too. Takes two sides to create fairness.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
@LFRAgain I will ask my daughter, who is aged 10 currently, how she feels in 30 years time and let you know. Right now, as a professional and fully licensed therapist dealing with my own daughter's issues I will say that we all perceive the world according to our own perception filters. Hers are set to nightmares.
As a parent experiencing the loss, my world is very different to yours as a sibling. Give life, raise your child and make the sacrifices parents often do and the dynamics really change.
Each day the perpetrator is alive, I wonder what time he gets up. What did he eat, do, experience? Did he have a laugh with his work mates? How does he feel today? If he too was dead I would not have those thoughts running about my head. I would have other ones which may or may not be better. So, I wish the guy dead. Capital punishment, vengeance, no. Just dead. It is not about safety, revenge, vengeance, killing someone over their deed. Nor is it about feeling better myself. It is just about ending the current pain, visions, nightmares and either sleeping better or without the current set of thoughts being caused by me in my own head from the circumstances the court dished out.
Re your own opening line beginning with Re, although understood, the fact you began with words like this actually provides a quick but deep insight to how you really feel. Your pain has not gone away and neither are you responsible for what happened, despite any thoughts of guilt to the contrary as children will often feel that continues long into adulthood.
So in closing, unless your have experienced the same devastating situation as Tim Blackman, the parents of the children mowed down and killed by the crane driver, or even myself and all as a parent, then siblings, aunts, uncles, friends and forum posters have no valid benchmark to comment or criticize by the comments of those whose child was actually killed.
In closing, thank you all for spending the time to either read here, or/and look at my FaceBook albums and know that we gain some comfort in knowing that there are people such as yourselves that have given their time to provide dialogue that may in some way, comfort us.
2 ( +3 / -1 )
Thank those of you who offered support and understanding from the perspective of those of us who have lost a child in tragic circumstances. I hope none of you and this means those for or against in opinion never ever experience what we have.
Yet should you ever unfortunately join us in our lifelong grieving and pain through such circumstance as we have had to deal with, I hope you reflect clearly on your statements in this forum or on this topic and continue to stand by them. If not then you are either a hypocrite, or someone whose world has just changed and so perspective has changed to try and cope with the dreadful circumstances you are faced with.
It is worth considering that our opinions of the world, its laws, our steadfast beliefs as seen from out side of the goldfish bowl are often very different from those we experience when swimming inside. I now have both perspectives and I stand by what I have said.
If you know you have a medical condition or any other condition, alcohol and drug included, and so are not fit to drive legally and as safely as humanly possible, and that your condition could result in loss of control of the vehicle, then stop and continue to enjoy life in other ways, as this is more precious than anything else you will ever realise until it is taken away from you.
Taizor my son, if there is anyway you can ever know what I am typing, just know we all still love you son and we miss you so much. You are in our hearts and minds forever. Love you, daddy xxx
2 ( +4 / -2 )
I have made the photos of my son's funeral and other related ones Public on FaceBook (Bill Page), so that others may possibly understand more the extent of the horror we experienced by such a tragic untimely death, caused by a careless driver.
Now, these poor parents, friends and relatives of the children that were killed have to go through the trial and relive the most horrendous details of how their children died all over again. At the trial of the truck driver who killed my son, I was almost physically sick. The stomach churning nausea, dry mouth, heart beating through my chest and utter horror I experienced is something I will never forget and I just know these parents are going to experience the same. There is nothing to make it go away and I cry for them in understanding their pain.
At the trial the driver asked me for forgiveness and said he was sorry. I did not want his apologies and I did not and still do not want to forgive him. I have clearly decided that sympathy for the driver is not an option for me, and for the crane driver I feel the same.
2 ( +3 / -1 )
As someone who lost their only son on his way to school when a careless truck driver ran him over and killed him on 31st May this year, I feel the pain these parents do. The guy got 14 months suspended for five years. We got a life of loss and grief. The ripple effect on everything from family, friends, schools and work across the globe has been an enormous strain on all of us. Everyday, from the moment I wake up, until I go to bed, images of my son's last moments before he horrifically died run randomly through my head and many who knew him. Japanese law in regards to traffic crimes is immensely weak, and yes the maximum is 7 seven years for Professional Negligence resulting in death, yet he goes back to work and we continue to grieve.
Some people said to me that he will have a life of hell thinking about what he did and that is in itself punishment. I actually don't care what he thinks or feels, I would just be glad if he was dead. He brought the accident upon himself and admitted he did not bother looking because he did not think anybody would be coming as he turned right across a main road.
This was an accident, a lack of attention yet it resulted in hell for us. When the doctor told me my son was dead I thought I would die from a heart-attack. I then had to tell his 10yr old sister. Again, hell. So, in the case of the crane driver and him lying to get his license, I have zero sympathy and wish he could get 40 yrs as cactusJack hopes for. And in the room they hold him, photos all over the walls of the accident and the different stages of the childrens' lives of growing up so everyday he is forced to see the faces of his victims and what he has done.
If anyone commenting on this thread has been through what I and those parents have, then you will know, unfortunately the grief and pain we continue to experience without any respite. The rest of you should never try to imagine the pain. Just know that we live in parallel with it every day, day-in, day-out and with no holidays from it ever.
In closing, apologies for the rant and if I have offended anyone with my opinion, but this is the first and only time I have ever posted in this forum and that is because I read things today and made me want to add my own thought too.
5 ( +6 / -1 )
Posted in: Where is everybody?