Canukle comments

Methinks he wants to avoid the missus.

@ebisen - When we built our house, my FIL did the first rounds of the neighbourhood to soften up the neighbours to my foreigness. After we moved in, we did the 'hikosi soba' thing. Not everyone would even answer the door. We still have about 4 boxes. There are two houses on our block who refuse to talk to me...and I bet they're pissed they didn't get their soba.

These men are idiots.

Isn't it the parents job to make sure that their kids eat properly? Why does there need to be an 'expert' between the schools and parents, can parents not talk to schools? Can schools not talk to parents? Is everyone mute?

Bwuhhahaah - sorry, child porn isn`t funny but this chickie is stupid.

Now she is georgeous!

Guess they are not very 'rabu -rabu' and why is she wearing socks with those shoes?

@Marushka - my daughter is still nursing and wakes up a few times a night. If she does not get her feeding, she screames bloody murder and does not go back to sleep. It is a comfort to her and way for me to get sleep between feedings. Also if you have not had the priviledge of watching you baby sleep peacefully, or waking up to their smiling faces and a cry of 'mama!', you can't understand how heartwarming it is. There is nothing untowards about it.

@Marushka - that is your opinion and I respect it, but neither I, nor my husband, is 'sick'.

My almost 2 year old daughter still sleeps with us but that in no way inhibits our sex life - we just set up a futon in the spare room. We enjoy our 'family bed' and the closeness it brings. That being said, most likely by the time she is 3 she will be in her own bed. It is VERY common for children to sleep with their parents in Japan. Used to be a space issue. The thing I have issue with is when the mom only sleeps with the children and the husband sleeps in another room...that just seems sad.

@Kira - that's strange, I got a credit card from MUFJ just a few months back with no problem really. Even though I work p-t they classified me as 'shufu' and made me put down my husband's income - but I didn't have to include his name, so I dunno. Haven't been refused at a ryokan yet - have had some funny looks when I show up after booking in my married name (which is a Japanese surname). They they proceed to question me on HOW I got the name - sigh-. Isn't key money along the same lines as the 'line money' you have to pay for a landline? The reasoning being that they needed to charge extra money (again after WWII) to rebuild the telephone lines, and yet they STILL charge this fee...I was also confused as to why noone complains. Shoganai ne?

Snuh? Is she serious?

This article makes no sense at all. More like a rant. So.....the wives want more sex but the husbands don't? Or they don't tell the husbands that they do want more sex? Or longer sex? What the hell do they actually want?

My pleasure.

Yes it is and no you do not get paid. It is longer (up to a year) and if you take it, then your wife cannot. (If she is a full-time worker). This leave is also contingent on if the company can spare you, or if you have any relatives nearby who can watch your child. (I think this applies only if you want financial assistance from the city/ward).

@Cleo - there seemed to be an end-run on stupidity at my clinic. During the required pre-natal mini mama classes you would now believe the questions that came up (or didn't come up!). It was later established that I was the only one who had bought a book (or four), had asked advice from other veteran moms or had even researched pregnancy at all. I always ended up asking for clarification on some points and most of the other ladies there gave the blank 'what the hell is she talking about' stare. For sure preperation is the key but in my case I prepped like a pro and then fell apart when God...oh sorry I mean my doctor said - ok so in 2 weeks we'll be doing a c-section, and no there is no other option and no you cannot try to deliver naturally. Why? Because I said so. Of course you could try another hospital but at 35 weeks good luck with getting anyone to accept you!

With the inherited traits - I agree! My daughter has all my brains but all of her father's stubborness - of course I'm NEVER stubborn or obstinate ;)

Oh the familiar ` You had a C-section so you didn't really give birth'. Not I lie I heard that line quite a bit from the other clinic moms. Or the 'oh you're so lucky to have had a C-section!':S Not that I didn't want to have my baby the standard way, and yes, you're made to feel like you failed somehow, like you didn't really have the right to be tired and sore like all the other 'normal delivery' moms. Grrr...really burned my biscuits.

Not even to mention the underlying guilt you feel yourself! Hahah as for baby with the sharp little chompers and still nursing - she's past the stage where she bites for experimentation. Her nursing now is much more 'comfort' than 'nutrition' based. Our local doctors here just happen to be my husband's uncle and cousin and they keep asking and asking when I'm going to wean my daughter. You should see the looks on thier faces when I tell them I'm letter her self-wean (sotsu nyu). They think I'm a crazy furriner and I'm harming her in some untangible way. Oh well....I guess it'll take them about 20 years to catch up with current medical knowledge! Here's hopin`!

So...the moral of this story is to watch 'Sex and the City' together? What a load of ..ahem. Maybe if they actually communicated with each other and men didn't want to marry monmmy and women didn't want to be pampered pooches, a real partnership would be reached.

AHahahahah - kira - I'd like to second that one! I've had my share of horrid things with breastfeeding as well but for us it is the best way and my daughter is a healthy little hellion! We're still going strong at almost 2 years old. (Don't get me started on the 'sublte' pressure to STOP breastfeeding and move to follow up milk at 1). Hubby last night brought up the topic of number 2. Easy for him to say - he only has the enjoyable parts to contribute! Ah cracked bleeding nipples - memories. Lately I've been plagued by blebs - wanna talk about something painful?! Since the doctor here didn't seem to have a clue what it was, I have a book on breastfeeding from Canada so I just dealt with it myself with a serilized needle. Sounds scary huh? I would just like to say about the article though that it seems like these ladies are trying to help and offer again-choices so more power to them. I wish there were more options where I live for birthing but now that I know the 'system' I think we're going to be a pit pickier (if) we decide to go it again.

Just two more of my cents but for options, I know in my case it was fear as well. First baby and (for lack of a better term) scared sh&%less! I also had complications and whatnot so yeah, the options may be there, but I don't live in Tokyo where most of the specialty (catering to foreigners) clinics are. I let my fear get the better of me and allowed the clinic staff to bully me. I'm ususally not that type of person, but with the hormone fluctuations, ouchy scar and absolute terror that something was going to go wrong with my baby, I would have jumped out of the window if they told me it was going to help. For those first few days, it was an emotional rollercoaster and my family was over 10,000km away (my mom, etc.) I agree with a lot of the posts and disagree with some as well. Choice is the key. I chose to breastfeed and I wasn't given hardly any support at all (both in the clinic and out). I caught my MIL trying to get my hubby to give my 1 week old a bottle of formula when I went into the shower becuase it was 'kawai-so' for her to just have breastmilk. No talk about anything to do with nipple care (sorry if this grosses you out guys), infection, etc. Kirakira - I'm envious of you as mine seem to have shrunken at least 2 cup sizes! (my hubby is not that pleased either ;) ). Knowing what I know now though, I still want another and think that for the second time around I can state my views more clearly and be more firm. I just hated staying in the clinic for almost 7 days! I went shack- happy! Great comments everyone.

Bwuhahahaha - you have GOT to be kidding me!

Ah Pukey2 - but it's just 'women problems' and therefore not essential.

I was told about the no baths thing too and thought it was strange, but as I had a c-section, hauling myself in and out of the bath was a scary prospect anyhow! I had the old lady come into my room for the 'breast massage'.....O.o I was sooo freaked out over that and wanted nothing to do with any obaasan grabbin' the goods so to speak. Told her so, and was laughed at - then she ripped up my shirt and udid the bra...guess I had no say in the matter. At the clinic I gave birth in, while they paid lip service to breastfeeding, they were also insistent on formula feedings which I tried (unsuccessfully) to stop. Despite it all, and the fact that my daughter is now screaming bloody murder in the living room - I really think I want another :). Anyone have any stats on VBAC in Japan? Will they even attempt it?

One more thing, tmarie is right it is OPTIONAL meaninig you have to pay extra and fill out another little card for it.

Actually you should get paps once you turn 16 and then on every year (unless there is a problem and then every 6 months). That said, the screening here is pretty spotty. I am a cerv cancer survivor and my obgyn said that if I was in Japan when it was diagnosed that my treatment wouldn't have been as aggressive or as thorough (in Japan) as it was back home. Glad I got sick in my home country. otherwise I might be dead now. I get a yearly check up from hubby's company and yes, they have the cerv cancer screening. Not very thorough though, but you take what you can get!

I wish the 'child in car' sticker would discourage people from tailgaiting. Seems here in Aichi tailgaiting is the prefectural passtime. Don't even get me started on the obaachan I saw driving a car with her grandbaby in an ombu sling on her back!! Seatbelt? What's that?

No, Zenny 11 -birth isn't something that happens suddenly...but tw weeks before due date arbitrarily deciding on a c-section IS sudden. This was NOT communicated to me in the other 8-9 months I had been to the clinic. Also, have you tried to find a care provider that offers what you want? If you don't live in tokyo....good luck.

sorry - argument.

I also don't see the need for them to be offered unless requested or really needed. To take the option completely off the table however is a bit totalitarian. I applaude you Cleo for being able to endure labour without pharaceuticals. I was not given even the choice - got scheduled for a c-section and wasn't even allowed to 'try' the standard way first. Also, for my c-section I was under the impression that I would be awake and able to hold my baby like in my home country...wrong. Like when my mother gave birth to me 32 yrs ago I was put to sleep and baby given to hubby and grandma outside. (Hubby was not allowed in or to watch). At the time everything happened so fast and I was not able to get a second opinion. I would now. That's the crux of my aregument. Choice. You need it? Fine, don't? Fine too. Let women have the choice. Different strokes people.

Wow Zenny11 - that was one of the most inconsiderate posts yet. My daughter was born via c-section and trust me, there was plenty of hormonal/emotional changes. Are you a woman? NO. If men gave birth, there would be no such thing as OPTIONAL pain relief - giving birth would be akin to a day at the spa. Sorry - that was a bit bitter, but suggesting that some form of pain relief is pampering is just ignorant. As to why a woman would endure it for the 2nd, 3rd time? She loves her children. Wants more. Can deal with the pain. End of story.