Funnybonesup comments

Posted in: Arnold Schwarzenegger to reprise 'Conan' movie role See in context

Conan the Lardbarian

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Man grabs woman from behind, cuts her hair See in context

That would have been a hair-razing experience meeting someone like that in the dark on the fringe of society. Its Enough to make your toes curl.

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Posted in: Akita man arrested over attempted extortion for sex and songs See in context

What a good idea. That might work for me. "I will return the kid if you promise NOT to force me to have sex with you for a year". Regards, your husband.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: U.S. seaman found dead on train station platform in Sasebo See in context

What a way to go.

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Posted in: Japan's indifference to 'Gangnam Style' riles S Korea See in context

Really though....Is that the fat guy from NK moonlighting?

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Posted in: Suicide bombing kills 41 in Afghan mosque See in context

Dear lord protect us from your followers that justify bigotry and brutal killings in your name.

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Posted in: The 'downgraded wives' who make hubbies squirm See in context

My wife complained that I slash when peeing, so I solved the problem. I raised the toilet so I can put my member inside and pee away in safety. Now she needs a ladder to climb on it. She doesn't complain about stuff anymore.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: DOCOMO launches real-time phone translation See in context

Its hard enough when a machine tries to interpret english to english. eg.

What my friend texted:

Coming by ship to see you as invited next week Ring Jude. Bree Allens.

What arrived by voice to text:

Coming by ship to see you as invasion next week. Bring lube The aliens


Needless to say I was surprised when Bree turned up at my door in a taxi.

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Posted in: Restaurant cell phone distractions still irritate diners See in context

If I'm on a date at a restaurant and a girl answers her phone and gets into a protracted conversation with someone she obviously knows and rabbits on endlessly while ignoring me, I excuse myself from the table and leave.


She just bought dinner.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: 9 things guys don’t want to find in a girl’s room See in context

I hate it when you call on a nice girl and her room looks sweet and tidy, clean and well decorated....although you wonder briefly as to why she has a fireman's pole in the corner and fur cuffs on the bed posts........later, you fall off the bed and notice her web cam is on and there are 84527584 viewers online......and there are requests. I hate that.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

Posted in: 26 amazing things about Japanese budget hotels See in context

I found a hotel charging y2000 with toilet and coffee provided. When I arrived I was directed to a recliner chair in the lobby. They still hadn't called me for going to my room after one hour so I walked over to the front desk. "sorry, chair IS room.....You sleep now. Coffee machine on floor 35, toilet in park."

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Japan should apologize for wartime aggression: N Korea See in context

North Korea have lost the last shred of credibility with the latest missile launch scam. They are like the unruly ruffians that live at the end of your street and tussle and threaten innocent passers by for no good reason. We know the people themselves are lovely, it's just the dysfunctional family running the government that gives them false voice.....Always after something for nothing....Always threatening... Always spending every last cent on themselves and a huge unwieldy military machine, put to no good use. To justify such a massive defence force, first you need a country worthy of invasion. FAIL. Given a choice, nobody even wants to share a border with you, let alone invade. NK. Land of the starving millions...and one fat guy.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Smile or your fridge door won't open See in context

If I've been out working hard and want a beer to relax with when I get home and the fridge is playing hard to get? Guess whose fridge will be upside down in the back yard with an axe in the door.

Mind you, I wouldn't mind one of these sensors in the bedroom to check for fake smiles. Lol

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Next year's look See in context

The ladies hairdos look fun. You could put one on a lead for walkies in the park, or in your car for airbags....and the guys you got cornfields? Because SCARECROW.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: 2 men arrested for selling falsely labeled Fukushima onions See in context

@basroil. Good idea. Well said.

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Posted in: Ten years on, Bali remembers bomb dead See in context

As an Australian I would loooove to talk to one of these craven ungodly cowards on behalf of my murdered countrymen.

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Posted in: 2 men arrested for selling falsely labeled Fukushima onions See in context

The farms within the prefecture should surely be under quarantine by now. Shut down, gates sealed and crops sprayed with poison to kill remaining growth until further notice. There shouldn't be any viable vegetables to tempt scoundrels like these two. How many lives have they destroyed in the years to come for a measly profit? Fukushima is not over, it's not finished. Nothing is mending. The plant is STILL pumping out radioactive isotopes. The accident didn't happen 18 months ago and things are better now.......We are 18 months INTO the accident and counting. Batten down the hatches folks.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: 9 types of guys who shouldn’t even bother showing up at 'gokon' parties See in context

If everyone took a shower and got dressed on site, everyone would look and smell nice. The organisers could provide lockers so all phones etc could be locked safely away. Everyone to dress in the theme of the night ( costumes provided) Ninja/geisha night Toga night Beach party night Police ball night Adam & Eve night Zombi night Harry Potter night Gangster night Pimps and pros night Make it more fun by getting people out of their normal comfort zone and play roles in a theme orientated party atmosphere. Dress up is a good equaliser and mood changer. Have some fun.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: TEPCO couldn’t get battery during Fukushima meltdown; went to hardware store the next day See in context

Even quicker, take the rear cowling off the back of the electric drive motor on the valve and remove the cooling fan. now the drive shaft is exposed. Lock the chuck of a decent 18volt battery drill onto the electric motor shaft and with the drill in low gear, spin the motor drive shaft with the drill to slowly open the valve. More torque required? Use a portable generator and a large 240volt drill or a two stroke engine post hole digger with some on-the-spot modifications to the chuck. Or simply put some decent stiltson vice grips on the shaft and turn by hand as required.

Wait...I almost forgot I'm not a nuclear energy engineer for a second there...sorry.

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Posted in: TEPCO couldn’t get battery during Fukushima meltdown; went to hardware store the next day See in context

I would have located a portable generator either by searching the maintenance dept, smashing shop windows or checking the back of trades men's work trucks for one, then hooking it to a 12 volt transformer or reversing an inverter and turning that valve.

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Posted in: TEPCO couldn’t get battery during Fukushima meltdown; went to hardware store the next day See in context

Tepco...step away from the big boy toys.

Go back to your Lego.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: N Korea says its missiles can strike U.S. mainland See in context

I read an interesting article last week where someone was saying that neighbouring countries weren't looking forward to a possible collapse of n Korean govt.

They said the country is a basket case.

Likening it to the struggle to bring east Germany in from the cold, they said nk would be far more difficult because there are not the skills or education available within the population to gainfully employ enough of them in order to bring the country up to speed within a few generations...and the costs involved of trying to improve infrastructure including housing, medical, education, transport etc would bring South Korea to its knees and empty UN coffers.

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Posted in: 11 bear sightings reported in Nagano City See in context

Much much can a black bear?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: 2 people attacked by bear in Niigata See in context

Carry some honey...or maybe some porridge. They like that.

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Posted in: Australia hits out at Japan at whale tracking tech launch See in context

Australians hate you coming down to slaughter whales for pet food. What a barbaric practice. This practice is reducing your trade in Australia because our shores and harbours are often visited by many whales that appear to enjoy the interaction with us and come close and touch our boats and look us right in the eye. When a whale and its calf are in our harbours we flock to see them and they are on our evening news. Sometimes they stay for days at a time. We have names for some of the regular annual visitors that come to our quiet safe waters to show their babies. They make us happy and we forget our troubles for a while and we smile. Occasionally they get stranded on our beaches and we turn up in hundreds to to keep them covered from the hot sun and wet them down and wait for the high tide. Then we manually push them into deeper water where our boats guide them out to the sea. You can perhaps now understand our love for these creatures and abhorrence when we hear of your firing an explosive harpoon into their gentle hearts to feed your filthy dogs. If you can't afford to feed your dogs meat by-products from your butchers like us, then eat your dogs.... Then maybe you'll feel the loss and despair we feel when we hear of your gleeful slaughter. How much is this repulsive practice costing your nation. We are buying far less of your cars these days, because we won't feed the hand that drives the harpoon home.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Posted in: China pledges to defend territory after Japan says it will buy islands See in context

Forget about trying to erect a national flag, china won't respect that. Go all samurai and dump some Fukushima soil on it. Mission complete.

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Posted in: 2,814 still missing 18 months after March 11 disaster See in context

There is a mass of flotsam heading towards the USA in the pacific ocean that is located 800 off the western shores. It is approximately the size of Texas and around seventy feet deep. It comprises of things washed out to sea as the waves recoded, including school buses, houses boats, jetties ect. There will most probably be some poor unfortunates among the arrivals and I hope they will be returned to their families as soon as possible. Warmest regards to the people of Japan from Sydney Australia. Dan

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Posted in: Japan recalls Beijing envoy See in context

Easy. Make a show of dumping a few barges full of ash from the tsunami there. The Chinese will never go there then.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

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