Where will giving my child the skills to defend herself lead? To having a fighting chance of defending herself if she stumbles across a freak or pervert that does not mean her well. At her age, she needs supervision, to protect her. It doesnt mean she is kept in splendid isolation, just that she has parents who take the time to ensure her safety while she is a CHILD who is not strong enough to defend herself should the need arise.
Personal attacks on me are not on.
I cant wait to get on that plane away from Japan.
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No, if everyone did as I did there would be no 13 year old girls for freaks to prey on would there. If you disapprove, then Im on the right tracks.
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She works hard, gets ber black belt 1st dan, shows that she can use her voice rather than freeze and has the maturity to judge others, then she can go out alone. At her age she is too tiny to defend herself against a grown man, and too quiet to shout and make a fuss. She gets plenty of time out at school, safe and sound, and with friends in safe environment, she is coming along nicely. But 11 year old girls are 11 year old girls. I was out with her a few weeks back and a nasty old ojisan stroked her hair. I was there with her, just a little bit behind her, but she didnt shout or stamp on his foot, she just froze up. Had she shouted at him to go away, get off her, I would have been more confident she could handle things alone, as it was she was horrified, but didnt have the outright confidence to find her voice and shout. Throwing your daughter to the wolves to toughen her up is not something I would do, give her the skills to defend herself, within a safe environment, then she can go out there alone.
Im in half a mind to show her this thread, so she can see the dangers out there are very real indeed, and there are men who sexualise children her age, or attempt to harm them.
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There is treatment, confide in someone if this is truely what you think, someone you trust. I beg you. Its not a rape case, the kid was 3, and could not give consent. It is child sexual abuse. As common as it maybe, and I dont disagree with you there, it is wrong, and damaging. This 3 year old's life was ruined by this.
They are marching because judges fail to see that consent is not an issue with a 3 year old child, and because rape is not taken seriously as a crime in their country. You dont seem to understand the difference between an adult and a child.
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What age do you think a human being is able to consent to sexual contact, Chewitup? How young is too young in your mind?
Nothing sexual here- he didnt assault her sexually, just not man enough to pick a fight with someone who can do him damage.
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Chew it up, you are very confident in expousing beliefs in practices which are illegal in Japan and the rest of the civilized world, and morally abhorrent everywhere to all but others who share your belief system justified by false and selective logic.
This had nothing to do with sex. It was a young GIRL who was pushed by a man with anger issues. He went to hurt her because she represents the most vulnerable in society and he is a loser.
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Chewitup, 13 is not a woman, but a young girl. A 3 year old is a toddler, barely more than a baby. Even the sicko who pushed her recognised this.
At 13, neither body nor mind has fully developed. I truely hope you are trolling not actually for real.
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Look Hippo, if you arent worried about feeding your kids radioactive food, then great. But mine are NOT getting leukemia. End of. Better safe than sorry. I would say if you are not concerned then I think YOU are very irresponsible indeed, but that is your business.
We all try to help each other, non Japanese women out here, and Im trying to make amends for being harsh on Mia'smom.
I might have known you were a man. Always the men who judge mothers and women here so harshly, and are holier than thou.
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THanks Farmboy, I didnt know that! Right...no fresh potatos from Japan either now and you just cant get imported ones. Ive tried.
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I am making everything from scratch as i just dont trust food manufacturers anymore. Things like Flour tortilla made with mineral water, canadian flour, and imported soy milk. You can make a huge batch, freeze em and defrost. Same with sweet things like cookies. It is a pain, but as long as I am here, then I will do what I can do to minimise risk. I know you are doing the same thing.
Its a hard one, leave, and split up the family - at least temporarily, or stay and increase your risk and the kids risk of cancer and birth defects in future generations. Ive given my husband a set time to find a job out of Japan, if he cant, then we have agreed I take the kids out, and get him to join us when he can. Of course it is a worry whether or not a marriage can survive that, but more of a worry with radioactive food and a government which is not protecting people in Japan.
Im staying another 6 weeks with the kids, we are desperately trying to find a decent career move for hubbie, and if we cant, then we will have to spend some time apart. We were never going to be here forever, but this has sped things up a lot. On the plus side, we will save a fortune on school fees!
I would say, sweetie, a radioactive school dinner everyday, is going to hurt more than teasing. I know, it is awful, and you have done so much, tried so hard to make it work here in Japan, it is almost a slap in the face to have to leave. Ignore people who are not here in the middle of it, and follow your heart. I know you will do what is best for your little guys, even if it is hard for you.
How about going back for now, and seeing how things develop here? You can find work for hubby in the UK, and get yourself set up and settled, and the kids in school. It could be worse, they speak English, and read and write, so they will fit right in. At least you can get a decent sandwich and not worry about where the flour is from! (hug)
I dont think Ild be able to get good reliable data with a geiger counter so dont bother. I figure we have had a bit of a dose, like everyone else in Tokyo, but Ive been careful. That said, long term exposure is not an option for us, not with all these added problems.
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Mia's mom, I read this and just wanted to send my best wishes and support, I really feel for you and feel the same way. I take it hubby doesnt want to leave with you and the kids?
We are still here, but also considering leaving, and have started looking at how we would do that. You dont look like you are panicking, or crying out for help. Im upset too, and nothing wrong with being upset at possibly having consumed radioactive meat and your kids eaten it too.
I agree, we are not in immediate danger, but long term, Im not so sure now, either. Costco, FBC, and shopping around for imported foods and Im hanging on in there. My kids eat bag lunches, so Im not so worried there.
Hope you manage to make a good decision for you and the kids, that doesnt cause too much upset or disruption. Poor Japan, eh!
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You are welcome, Papa Smurf. It needed to be said, I think. I hope the marches planned in Taiwan go well, and they raise the profile of this issue without driving further underground those people who need treatment for their inappropriate and damaging sexual attraction to children. The Japanese student who was the victim of (alleged I suppose) rape must surely be comforted by the support she has received in Taiwan. Good for these people for standing up to their government. More than we see here in Japan....
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Children cannot consent to sex. 3 year olds are little more than babies. By children I mean those under the age of 16, and it is my belief that a decent man does not go near women who are in their post 16 teens, unless they are a teen themselves. It is too easy for an experienced man to take advantage.
Children do NOT tempt men. Men who have disturbed thinking may well see innocent behaviors in a child as tempting them, but it is ALL to do with the disturbed thinking of the man, and nothing to do with the child.
Though those in their middle to late teens may well experiment with other teens, if an adult takes advantage of a child during this time in their development, be it a male or female adult, they are a damage causing pervert who needs treatment and locking up.
NO CHILD LIKES SEX, Chew it up. Any child who displays sexual behavior at 2 or 3 has been abused. Any child who displays sexual behavior has learnt that from being abused themselves. That is how children learn sexual behaviors. No adult should be anywhere near a child sexually. No child wants it. You say you displayed sexual behavior as a child, Chewitup, you know that anyone who acted on that with you was damaging and not acting in a natural way.
You quoted a case of an 11 year old girl and an adult male. She was not 'taken away from him', she was saved from a manipulative paedophile. Children are NOT sexual beings, and not available for adults to use in this way. If you cant understand that, then trust the people on this site telling you that this is dangerous and abnormal thinking.
This judge is displaying disturbed thinking, that he cannot make that distinction between an adult woman saying she has been raped, and so invoking the need to establish consent, and a CHILD being interfered with sexually, who cannot comprehend consent, nor give consent to anyone. That destruction of innocence leaves lasting marks on children, and ruins lives forever.
Mia's mommy, you and I both know that emotional response is also a rational one. Anyone told me that a child of 3 came onto an adult, and you and I both know that is manipulative paedophiliac bull. No kids come onto adults, only in the fantasies of very sick and dangerous individuals. I read this, and how could I just leave it. It made me feel sick to see those comments just stand and barely go challenged. Ill go back to just reading again, but this really upset me reading this.
Im not advocating pitchforks here, but I am saying anyone who has these thoughts and urges should behave in a responsible way and seek treatment.
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http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-118618449.html Yes, it was open for 8 months in 2004, then withdrew from trading in Japan.
If you have a blender hummus is very easy. 600 grams drained chickpeas (canned), 4 cloves crushed garlic, 150 ml olive oil, 2 tsp ground cumin, Juice of 1 lemon, a little salt, and If you can find it, 2tsp tahini (or to taste). Put everything apart from the lemon and oil in a blender, and whizz until it is smooth, then put blender on pulse, add oil/lemon slowly until you get the right consistancy, about 150 ml. Paprika on top if you like. Voila. Just adjust the seasonings to your taste. It is not expensive to make and takes minutes. It keeps in the fridge for 5 days or so, but doesnt freeze well. A hand blender is very cheap and does the job well, you can also make yourself proper soup with it.
Falafel are also really easy. You cant find bean sprouts!? They are in my local supermarkets, along with the packaged ready prepared veg. I wont be coming to this site anymore, but wanted to at least give you the hummus recipe.
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Because Cleo, you are continually having a go at me. Saying 'alarm bells' were ringing when I said I was supporting my oldest in her desire to be a vet, constantly making out like Im too educationally pushy with my children and not fun. It is offensive. I have happy children, who do well at school, and really, the amount of nastiness and bickering is horrible on this site.
I want my children to have options when they are older, and being criticized for their education mattering to me is pretty horrible.
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Zenny, what other people do with their kids is their choice, nothing to do with me. I just do the best I can for my children; and I believe my husband and I are doing the very best we can to educate our children and keep them out of harms way until they are old enough to take care of themselves. We do the best we can with the resources we have available, as do we all, I suspect. I am very happy with their schooling, we would not have been as happy or comfortable sending them to hoikuuen or the local school. It was the right decision for us as a family.
My poor husband would have been even more upset than me sending them to day care, and neither of us think much of the Japanese school system. I couldnt care less what other people do with their kids as long as it doesnt impact my family.
Sorry, I just didnt understand how you first phrased the question.
Mia'smum, 3 is indeed very young to go to kindy! It sounds like you are very happy with your kindergarten, which is great.
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Im very happy with my kindergarten - somewhere between the lassiez faire approach you favor, and sitting in a classroom with books. I dont think children need to be formally educated at 3 years old - we just did play groups and activities at that age, and I wouldnt have been comfortable with them away from me at a kindy. By 4 to 5 years old, they are more than capable of half a day of proper schooling.
Cleo, I hope that my children one day become good citizens and successful people just like you managed to help yours become.
Ill save the splashing around feeling water and having fun with it for me and the kids at the pool, where I can watch them properly and make sure they are safe and sound at that age, anyway! My choice, I wouldnt push it onto anyone else.
Mia's mum, hope his allergies get better soon, my youngest is having trouble too at this time of year with allergies, I sympathise. My husband never gets up at night either for the same reason, and Im often exhausted. At least you are honest enough to admit to being tired!
Zenny, Ive no idea what you are trying to say, Im afraid.
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Cleo, I don't send my children to school to play in water without learning anything. Different if they were measuring volumes of containers or testing what things sink or float in a water tray, but they were just splashing around. They go to school to learn, and learning doesn't have to mean pouring over books, it can be fun and hands on. We have plenty of non-academic fun when it is not school time. You always make me out to be a pushy monster mother. I am trying not to judge those who make different choices to me, try paying me the same courtesy.
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These children were not in daycare, they were in kindergarten - education. Quite what they were doing in a pool splashing if they were meant to be learning I don't know. The parents did not send this poor child out to play alone, they put him in a kindergarten, they are in no way negligent. The negligence lies with the kindergarten. I did not know that children could go to kindy at 3!
1 ( +1 / -0 )
Your wife sounds lovely, and I totally agree, Japanese bread and sandwiches are awful. I cant stand that fluffy mochi-mochi style vaguely sweet bread with no crust.
It is easy to make bread without a machine when you have the time and the technique learnt. It is also much much cheaper. I made tex mex flour tortilla last night, and 16 cost me about 200 yen to make. they are 400 yen for 6 in the supermarket and mine are much nicer. Speciality organic wholewheat or graham flour is a bit hard to find, but when I see some I buy lots of it. I also know my bread has been made with mineral water, has no additives and the flour is imported, which is more than I can say for anything I buy outside the house.
Pret was in Tokyo about 10 years ago, then closed down within 6 months, Marie.
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This kind of news makes me want to homeschool. These children were not adequately supervised during a potentially dangerous activity, I agree manslaughter charges should be brought. At public pools a 3 - 5 year old would have a parent there and not be swimming alone. Surely even in Japan a parent would not let a 3 - 5 year old go to the pool alone! Outside of Japan Ive been refused entry to a pool because I had three children with me, and I was the only adult - the rules were 1 adult to 2 children per group.
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In went to Enoshima last year, and it was absolutely disgusting. The sand was full of trash and broken glass - absolutely filthy. We didnt even go in the sea, as I had no desire to get cut feet or covered in whatever horrible stuff was dumped in there. Enoshima could be a lovely beach resort if it was properly taken care of and developed. The aquarium was nice though.
No way are we going to the Japanese beaches this year - radiation, the threat of tsunami if there is another big quake, and the fact Ive never found a clean one here all mean we will go out of Japan this summer.
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