hapa-girl comments

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear some of your stories. Almost all of my J girlfriends sleep with their children and the dad's have "papa no heya". A lot of them seem to think the husband is the ATM. Did you hear of the salaryman haiku that went along the lines of "the only thing warm in my house is the toilet seat"? It was funny but also very sad. After having a baby, it is hard to look after your hubby - the baby is so demanding, your boobs hurt if you are breastfeeding, you are generally tired. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is make dinner for him but I want to show my appreciation to him and that he is still an important part of the family so he always has a nice meal and a smile. I do think that he is a great husband and dad because we (my three kids and I) show him how much we love him. I slept with all of my kids until they were six months old (my youngest is 6.5 months) and would have been happy really, to keep sleeping with them. But it was my husband's request that the kids sleep in their own room so at least the bedroom was kid free. I had to respect his wishes there because in reality, dads are sidelined by the demands and needs of small kids. But there is no excuse to be abusive.

Anyway, so many horror stories of mixed marriages, but my parents (dad American, mum Japanese) have been married for 40 years! Funnily enough, their only rough patches were when they lived in Japan. They have a happy retirement abroad now.

Good luck guys.