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Ian Duncan comments

Posted in: Piko Taro dances with candy, beetles, lemons and Japanese idols in new versions of 'PPAP' See in context

I've seen chemotherapy with more entertainment value than this buffoon.

Mate, look - you're a chancer and you got lucky. You were "performing" for free in parks in January. You'll be doing it again by next December. Changing a lyric doesn't make you a two-trick pony.

Pack it in. It's crap.

4 ( +11 / -7 )

Posted in: Abe in Kenya to launch summit on African development See in context

Man Kenya: I wish Japan and other developed nations assist Africa with leadership and managerial skills

I promise you, you don't want to look to Abe for Leadership, management, or skill.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Gov't pension fund reports Y5.23 tril loss in April-June See in context

Never mind, we've got the Olympics to pay for. That concrete doesn't fund itself. So a generation goes hungry after paying in for 40 years, so what? look! Colourful lights and running around!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Abe in Kenya to launch summit on African development See in context

Apparently Kenya is the third most corrupt country in the world.


I wonder how much of our pension fund disappeared in this little junket?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Driver, playing Pokemon Go, hits and kills pedestrian, injures another See in context

I use my horn every day too. People often look at me like it's me who's in the wrong, but if people insist on driving irresponsibly, you can't blame me for getting my horn out.

My wife gets angry when I use the horn.

11 ( +13 / -2 )

Posted in: Hundreds of flights grounded as typhoon makes landfall in Chiba See in context


No, I think it's typhoons as well.


Plus there's the falling into a canalbank, along which he'd been cycling in 90kmh winds.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Hundreds of flights grounded as typhoon makes landfall in Chiba See in context

Just waiting for the report of a retired man falling off his roof.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Posted in: Visiting flood-damaged Louisiana, Trump moves ahead with campaign turnaround See in context

Correction: Visiting flood-damaged Louisiana after being asked not to, Trump disrupts emergency rescue efforts for photo-op defibrillation to his astonishingly amateurish campaign.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Harry Potter magic hits Asia as fans celebrate new book See in context

When will there be a Japanese translation?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Abe unveils Y28 tril economic stimulus package See in context

He could literally have given every worker in the country two years' wages to spend, and it would have been cheaper than this shameless boondoggle and had significantly more tangible results.

28 trillion would also have gone some way towards fixing the pension mess, or giving a university education to a generation who could have then gone gratefully to work for Japan without the anxiety of crushing debt.

But no. Few details? Let me guess - a whole bunch of concrete?

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Tarpaulin mishap delays Japan's first military satellite by two years See in context

The document did not detail who was responsible for the mishap, or whether they suffered any consequences.

I think I can hazard a guest.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Abe's 4th arrow See in context

I've rarely seen anyone looking less at ease with a bow and arrow. It's like he's never even seen one in real life before.

7 ( +8 / -1 )

Posted in: Pokemon-mania vindicates Nintendo's mobile game shift See in context

And Japanese consumers have to wait - yet again - until the rest of the world has already enjoyed something before they can even glimpse something Japan created.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: Will IS militants target Japan next? See in context

Short answer - no.

But why not get the people fearful, if it will persuade them to bend over and take Abe's plans for the constitution without resistance?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Man arrested for placing condom full of semen in high school girl’s bag See in context

It was full?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Which movie or TV president do you wish the real-life U.S. president could be like? See in context

None of the above. Jack Nicholson in Mars Attacks.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Posted in: Gov't may lift most Fukushima evacuation orders by 2017 See in context

Now read the same story without the "to speed up reconstruction" LDP-apparatchik propaganda spin:


2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: LDP panel proposes new teacher recruitment system See in context

Hmmm...The Abe Junta getting more involved with how (and presumably what) kids get taught at school.

What could possibly go wrong?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Kagoshima schools to resume Saturday classes once a month See in context

I've had this explained to me by a Japanese person that this kind of method, together with the policy of giving JHS kids and above the duty to take part in"voluntary" club activities through their school holidays, is designed to inculcate the mindset that "If I go home after eight hours' work or take a week off once a year, it will be burdensome for my co-workers". Thus guaranteeing another generation of drones on autopilot, not making waves.

I don't know if it's true, but it certainly seems plausible.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Gov't pressures companies to raise wages See in context

Gov't pressures companies to raise wages?

Point 1: This is preposterous. Can you imagine what would happen if a European or American leader started banging on to industry, "Please pay your staff more, otherwise my promises won't come true and I'll look silly"? He/ she would be laughed out of office - and rightly so. Unless Japan becomes an outright communist country, Abe can wish all he wants, but can't demand anyone raises wages;

Point 2: Since when did the verb "to pressure" come to mean "make meek entreaties with no expectation of success"?

Pathetic. Abe, pack your bags.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: TEPCO to miss deadline on decontaminating Fukushima water See in context

Doubtless TEPCO executives will forego their bonuses this year to take responsibility for their failure.

Oh wait, I'm getting confused.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Science proves high heels do have power over men See in context

High heels certainly have power over me. I've done empirical research, and the result was they get me going. But there have to be ladies' feet in them.

I'm an altocalciphiliac.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: In Japan's fading hinterland, skeptics doubt 'Abenomics' will help economy See in context

In Japan's fading hinterland, skeptics doubt 'Abenomics' will help economy

Correction: Anyone with a brain in their head doubts Abenomics will help economy.

4 ( +7 / -3 )

Posted in: Unicare unveils 'anti-loneliness' hugging chair See in context

With a bit of fine tuning, that chair looks like it would be handy for the Heimlich Manoeuvre.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: Abe pledges in U.N. speech to work against 'war culture' See in context

Japan has pursued a “postwar path abhorring the atrocities of war that brought tragedy to innocent people

Except for those that didn't happen, eh, Shin-Chan?

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Posted in: Israel rejects Gaza ceasefire plan as death toll nears 850 See in context

unless you are there watching and timing each and every move precisely, you can not judge.

illsayit: I was not present at the Holocaust. Should I keep an open mind about it? I've never had Ebola. Should I try it, so I can make an informed decision?

Of course not. What a preposterous world we would live in if we ignored everything outside our own narrow pinprck of direct experience, gained in our safe, protected, privileged countries. Some things are self-evidently wrong, and this abomination currently being carried out by the extremist Zionist government of Israel is clearly one of them.

If the slaughter were being conducted by any other nation, immediate action would be demanded to stop it. But Israel get a free pass for any atrocity at the UN, because any criticism of Israel gets immediately vetoed by the USA, and whoever criticised the barbarity gets called a Nazi.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

Posted in: Hashimoto says allied soldiers raped women after D-Day See in context

Comfort stations were not set up by the allies. Maisons de Tolerance (aka Brothels) were set up by Napoleon and were an accepted part of the noble French way of life. The Maisons de Tolerance were enjoyed by the Wehrmacht throughout the occupation, and the Allies similarly basked in the glories of French culture upon their arrival.

So, point 1: Comfort stations were not set up by the allies. Hashimoto is, as always, taking out of his ringpiece.

7 ( +9 / -2 )

Posted in: Japan kills 30 whales in 1st hunt since ICJ ruling See in context

And learned what?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: In your experience, which makes a better pet - a dog or cat? See in context

Dogs are immeasurably superior pets. Cats are bastards.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Posted in: Nago mayor takes anti-base case to U.S. See in context

The former residents of Diego Garcia should be able to give this well-meaning chap a rough idea of how much he can expect to achieve.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

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