Kerome comments

It seems to me that reconnecting hikikomori to society is something that needs to be done in stages, starting with incentives, moving into a safe environment, and rewarding team activities or social things. Counselling alone is not going to do the trick, and just saying to the family "give them tough love" is just throwing the hiki back into a hard situation which is what they retreated from in the first place! It would be better to go to the family with a plan, where family, counsellor and an external organisation like a place where you do volunteer work all come together to help the hiki. Maybe the family are to blame, but expressing that is often not useful. It is a negative emotion, where what you want to do is foster a positive mindset to help motivate the hiki, and help him or her find some joy in life again.