kyushubabe comments

I think that what makes me sad is that Japan wont even protect its OWN custody agreements where foreign parents are concerned. The author also needs to add a disclaimer- Japan will always award custody to the mother unless that mother is a foreigner. I am one of the "lucky" ones, my divorce was finalised in Japan (although I was back in the UK by the time it happened) and I have full custody, but only because I managed to negotiate a mutual divorce where my ex just ticked the box that gave me custody. (I did have to give up any chance of financial support though, which is tough at times.) Only problem is that my ex-H now chooses to ignore our existence (in the Japanese way) and that makes me sad. The other problem is that if I took my son to Japan for a holiday and his J-grandparents or his Dad decided that actually, they wanted him to stay in Japan, the government wouldnt honour my custody agreement, they would keep him in Japan. I would love to take him to Japan this summer but sadly until they sign the Hague Convention, it is just too big a risk.

That said, I am glad that the discussion is being opened properly as it seems to me that this kind of thing has only ever seemed to be a problem for the people it directly affects, at least now it is getting out into the press more. France have also opened discussions so I am hoping that the more countries who put pressure on Japan to join other developed nations by signing the treaty, the more hope that they will end up doing so.

As an aside, my marriage fell apart because of a lying cheating emotionally abusive Japanese husband but he still says it is my fault...suffice to say, divorce is never going to be easy, no matter how hard you try to be amicable about the whole thing.