Lina Nova comments

Those nightclubs are pathetic thing and the fact even married men working in sales departments are often forced to go there is terrible. Work culture is a part where I feel Europe greatly excels Japan.

I am Polish and my fiance is Japanese man in his 40s. We live in Thailand together. He often needs to take care of customers, exectutives from Japan visiting Thailand office, trading companies etc.

Sometimes it ends with a dinner and coming back around 22. Other times he needs to accompany them in hostess clubs. I knew about it and used to try not ovethink it. Thai hostess karaoke is pretty similar to Japanese. He usually texts me during those parties "when will it finish omg" etc. He comes back home even 2 am sometimes and he still have to wake up early next morning and go to work. He comes back smelling alcohol and cigaretters reapeating 'awful!' many times, as he walks through a door.

As much as I trust him, try to be supportive and understanding I found lots of woman's make up on the shoulder of his jacket and feeling bad about it, showed it to him saying "your hostess must have very heavy make up".

He fisrt got annoyed about the dirt on his jacket then immediatelly said sorry to me. "She sat next to me. She was drunk." I got apologized many times and he explained me he always gets bored of those parties and looks disinterested which they cannot understand and always ask "are you tired? are you tired". "I wanna tell them I'm bored", he said. "I'm single ("you're not single! I notice here. "yes, but I'm not married") and they are suprised I am not interested in them. One asked me today are you a ladyboy? (Thai word for transvestite and there are plenty of them in Thailand)"

All I could say was "what a disgrace, they got paid for talking to customers in such way?? Riddiculous. Hopefully you answered her with 'maybe you'!" I replied. At this point my anger was gone and all I could think is how stupid those cheap chicks are.

We spent another hour talking and I heard few next apologies.

"It's fake. It's artificial. They are only after money."

It's Japanese work culture. They are so tired I guess they hardly have time to think of their family. My fiance usually wakes up 6 am, 6:30 he leaves home. He works Monday- Friday, plus sometimes none, sometimes 1, sometimes 2 Saturdays per month. He comes back 7 - 8 pm on a normal day. 9 - 11 pm if he has dinner out with customers. After midnight if they go to drink in those filthy places.

Every time there's a national holiday on weekday and he get a day off he works on Saturday that week. He hardly has time for himself. He's so strong to endure the nonsense of salaryman's life.

Yes, I am sure he hates those hostess clubs and he totally would prefer sleep long enough to get through another day than a cheap, surely occasional prostitute, drunk chic dropping her empty head on his shoulder.

Yes, I am sure he would prefer to spend evening at home and the proofs are the numerous times he was pretending sick to leave right after the dinner.

I am being strong too enduring alone nights when my man is forced to spend it along those wasted women.

In Japan it is exactly the same way as here. Bangkok has many Japanese dedicated places and some of those clubs have mainly Japanese guests.

I am sorry for all the girlfriends and wives in my situation. And to all the children whose dads are stolen from home even in those precious few evening hours they could have spend with family.

Your wife doesn't understand you... hold on girl, you have no idea what you are talking about. Also they would understand each other much better if they could spend some time together because if he comes back after 1 am usually his wife is sleeping.