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Mediocremummy comments

Posted in: 40% of child seats in cars remain unused: police survey See in context

I saw a guy driving his car with one hand,the other hand holding an infant on his lap.The mind boggles.As for the excuse I so often hear,'my kid screams when I try to strap him in',kids scream when you put a coat on them in winter,a hat on in summer,strap them in a pram,pull them away from that enticing electric cord.I am a mother.My role is protect my kids from any 'common sense' type of danger.My three are all under seven.I am their Mother,I am not their best friend.If I think something is dangerous whether they scream or like it or not,I will do what is necessary to make sure they are safe.Not what is convenient or easier for me...because that is what I think it boils down to sometimes reading about the terrible calamities that befall some children here. Hopefully,when my lot are older they will feel like I am their best friend.For now,I am Mother.They are my little treasures.Think we need a few late night TV campaigns depicting the realities of what exactly can happen to a child not strapped in.

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Posted in: What is the best way to get more men to take paternity leave? See in context

When I had the twins,hubby had to fight tooth and mouth to get just one day off! He explained that his wife was foreign,no family to help on his side so I was pretty much alone but his manager just commented "Well,that's your wife's problem.She'll have to deal with it". The love just flows.....We might be on our fourth soon.....I won't be in Japan when baby no 4 hits this world.Both hubby and I feel that Japan just isn't a family friendly country.

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Posted in: Child abuse suspected after bruised 3-year-old girl dies See in context

Poor little love. I hope next time around she is born to ones who adore every moment with this little treasure.

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Posted in: Father, son found dead in suspected murder-suicide See in context

BurakuminDes-Yes,there is support.Support already stretched to it's rather short limit. You know one chap.I know loads of friends struggling with elderly relatives who quite frankly need specialist help but there isn't enough support or the family don't have the dosh to pay for it.It would seem that the government is still relying on family to keep things in the family.That might have worked in the past but family dynamics have changed in Japan and old ways unfortunately don't fit the modern peg hole.

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Posted in: 4-year-old girl dies after fall from 9th-floor balcony in Osaka town See in context

MissingJapan...You know sometimes you've got to get ugly to make people wake up to reality. Unbearable pain? You mean like the unbearable pain that wee 4 year old must have felt lying on the cold ground after the fall. Calling out for help when none was there.This whole thing was totally preventable. Totally.When I hear about parents losing kids to an illness,an accident caused by another..yes,my heart goes out to them.I cannot even imagine the horror they must be going through but this mother....A few weeks ago, a mum from our youchien was cycling with the two kids on board.The little 2 year old in the back seat fell off and got her arm tangled in the back wheel's spokes.She broke her arm in the fall and was lucky a passing car didn't hit her.Straps in the seats.The mother didn't use them.Saw her today,2 year old with the cast on,those straps blowing open in the wind.Naivety,stupidity,indifference....whatever it is,it just leaves me speechless.

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Posted in: 4-year-old girl dies after fall from 9th-floor balcony in Osaka town See in context

When my 6 month old bairn came down with an extremely high fever,I woke up my twin 4 year olds and dragged the whole bunch of us over to the nearest available hospital late at night. It didn't even enter my head to leave them alone.I have never ever left them alone.No matter how hard it was logistically or how much of an inconvenience,we are always together. They are so precious to me,I would never take a chance that could put them in a dangerous situation. Anything can happen,earthquake,fire,a madman breaking in,the child choking,waking up alone in an empty apartment must be terrifying for a young child.I am speechless. Poor little girl.

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Posted in: Woman held over fatal abuse of 5-year-old stepdaughter See in context

ADK99-Have you checked the official figures from UNICEF recently.It's the other way round.Japan is double the amount of the UK and Germany.No sure about America,will have to check.Account in that the extended family has really only recently in general terms started to become a thing of the past,no real support system for families with problems,the economic woes many are facing and the whole 'ganbatte kudasai' mentality you have here and the figures are only the tip of the iceberg. Yes,child abuse happens everywhere but reiterating that mantra isn't going to start helping parents become the parents most of them want to be and saving lives.You can basically justify any atrocity that's ever happened on this planet by throwing out numbers,dates or places where it is happening or has happened.An innocent child was killed....even one little child meeting such a tragic and sad end is one too many,in any country in my books. RIP little one.I hope the angels are keeping you warm tonight.

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Posted in: Japan, U.S. discuss ways to resolve custody disputes See in context

bobbafett-With all due respect but you are starting to sound like the Japanese government who states that they are only protecting japanese mothers from abusive foreign partners.Out of all failed marriages what percentage have you personally dealt with in your line of work?Yes,I've meet a few people with phallic shaped craniums out here...just like any other place in the world.And whilst a person might be a bad partner does that also mean that they are also a bad parent? An abusive partner who has any kind of negative impact/effect on a child's well being should be removed from a child's life until hopefully they basically grow up and step up to the plate.Marriages go wrong all over the world,just because you suck at marriage doesn't mean you suck at being a father or a mother.Children have rights too.It isn't up to one parent to decide to totally alienate the other parent.That is just as abusive...if not even more heinous......than the initial abuse claimed by the custodial parent. As for believing people so readily,I always take things with a pinch of salt until knowing otherwise.The cases that I do know of dealt with friends who I knew/know well and was there as situations unfolded. My British friend married to a Japanese with a beautiful baby girl.He used to come home late at night drunk and threaten her and the baby with a knife.Despite the police being involved,the auntie on the japanese side was going to go for custody when my friend asked for a divorce.She fled back to Britain and the rest is another story for another time.Or my Fillipino friend with 4 kids and an extremely violent japanese hubby who likes to beat her up in front of the said kids.I know of so many cases personally involving friends...most women......and it is just unfathomable what goes on here.I have another friend.As far as we all knew,his marriage was sound.He called me one night hysterical.He'd returned home from work.The house was cleaned out.Kids gone with a 'Don't try to find me' note.That was 4 years ago.What about the famous or infamous case of the twins that were snatched back here by their japanese grandparents from abroad???The authorities here still wouldn't help to return them to their Dad! (The mother,a japanese national had sadly died from cancer)Japan doesn't look after it's own and it most certainly doesn't look after the foreign parents' rights. I also think it is just the tip of the iceberg as probably cases involving Chinese,Fillipino or Koreans don't see the light of day.Because of the cases you've dealt with in your job,saying that all foreign fathers kind of deserve it is rather brutal of you,don't you think? My heart goes out to all the left behind japanese parents too.I cannot imagine the suffering endured on a daily basis when the light of so many people's lives is just snatched from them.

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Posted in: Japan, U.S. discuss ways to resolve custody disputes See in context

bobbafett- Firstly,I am very happy to hear that you and your ex-wife reached a mutually acceptable and mature agreement concerning custody of your son.You have the best case scenario.Many others...some that I know personally,didn't even get the chance.No cheating,lying whatever was involved.Their other half just basically decided the marriage was over and left....with the kids.It's not just fathers either.There are plenty of foreigners in abusive and violent relationships with their japanese spouses who dare not leave because they are afraid of losing the kids.Read up on some of the stories,they are heartbreaking.Thinking that treating your partner with maturity and respect will resolve all custody battles,I am sorry to say is a little naive.Divorce is ugly and it can bring out the worst in some people.Unfortunately some folk should not be allowed to have children.They obviously aren't capable or emotionally mature enough to put the most precious things they'll ever own in their life,their children first.Children's needs always should be put first.Obviously you and your ex are mature and understand the gravity of your responsibility towards your child.

I really am sickened by Japan.If the government here want to keep their own little draconian empire so be it but if you want to be held aloft as a member of the international community you got to play by the same rules as every other country in that community.It's like competing in a worldwide soccer game and when it comes to your match,you can't turn round and say 'Oh...well here in Japan the rules are different and that isn't considered a goal by our standards'.Ship up or ship out!

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Posted in: Baby girl taken from car while mother shops in Nagoya See in context

My kids attend a japanese kindergarten.A lot of the mums have a rather nonchalant attitude about leaving the smaller ones,home alone sleeping while they pick up the older kid and it is astounding.We're talking about infants and upwards alone in the home unattended where just about anything could happen.Leaving a one month old in a car is just dangerous.How did the person get into the car? Was it unlocked as well? If so double stupid. Yes,Japan is probably a lot safer than a lot of places in the world but there is no such place as a safe place...anywhere.I would never ever risk that 0.000000001 something chance in a million and leave any of my children alone and unattended.My mobile phone yeah! My kids are little treasures and the most wonderful blessings!

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Posted in: Marine's widow, baby return to Japan but visa problem with U.S. unresolved See in context

@biglittleman...And we haven't read anywhere that she wouldn't be a productive and valued member of society.The article doesn't state any qualifications,training or past employment history! She's lost her husband.....husband,they did get married. A first time mummy left with a wee baby.The in-laws lost their son who died...not in a car crash or some other tragic event but fighting for his country!

I am often left aghast at how officialdom in all it's glory seems to pull the stops out to protect the human rights of immigrants but not it's own nationals.I am talking about the UK here too.

@SpanishEyes...Sending tons of good vibes your way.I hope your situation meets the desired result soon.

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Posted in: Where are all the babies? See in context

Societymike...First congratulations on the birth of your twins!I gave birth to all three of my kids in the same hospital.The last pregnancy I noticed that the hospital was jammed packed at every check up with sometimes up to 3 hours spent waiting to see the Dr.(No fun being preggers with 3year old twins in tow,I can tell you!)It wasn't due to a baby boom. The big Red Cross hospital nearby had closed it's doors and so everyone had flooded over to the surrounding hospitals and the staff were just overwhelmed.Pregnant friends of mine are being told that they might have to book in early at some places as the hospital/clinic cannot guarantee a bed nearer the expected birth.After my two were born (yes,we're blessed with twins too!),we did get a nice cash payout from the local government as we are on the National Health plan but you are going to need every penny for later when your two are at youchien/school age.On another note,don't even get me on the daycare situation in our area or my husband who was told recently that it is expected that he will work nearly a 100hours overtime every month to keep his job! I adore my kids but being a mum here can be just sheer hard slog.There doesn't seem to be any concept of 'family'. The extended family has all but died out.No real support systems in place.And the ones that are,you have to know the right questions to ask or interrogate the city office staff using water torture to find out the information!

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