Japan Today

Mikanojo comments

Posted in: Japanese lingerie brand brings out new line of swimsuits for women with petite breasts See in context

Petank-tops! So cute!

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Posted in: Angry single men stage anti-Christmas rally in Tokyo See in context

The people complaining about the capitalism of any holiday, are simply choosing to forget what the holiday is really about, and instead deciding they will focus their time, energy and emotions on attacking that other thing or those other people.

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Posted in: Japanese hostess club women share top 5 unattractive things guys do all the time See in context

@ sensei258 the image is showing the girls who are waiting for male customers to come in. They will join them at tables and at the bar.

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Posted in: Hatsune Miku appears with J-pop legend Namie Amuro in new music video See in context

With 3D rendering technology at the level it is now, i was hoping Amuro-san would have pulled Hatsune-san into realspace for a time? Maybe in the full length video she did, or in future videos she will?

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Posted in: Full body scanners being tested at three airports See in context

Perhaps by 2020 the terrorist paranoia will be at such a level that airlines will feel justified in expecting passengers to all wear unisex bodysuits while aboard a plane, opaque to onlookers but completely transparent to body scanners, and scanners will be at such strength that they become capable of diagnosing scoliosis and airline inspectors will need training to recognize an artificial heart, breast and penile implants so that they stop brutalizing models, heart condition sufferers and transgendered people. Then even those people suggesting that terrorists can still hide some thing in their rectum or vagina will finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief i guess?

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Posted in: Mini-skirt turbulence at Skymark Airlines See in context

Even though i can already see from the comments that some people will disagree.. miniskirts do NOT cause sexual harassment. Perverts do. Just as miniskirts do not cause rape. Rapists do.

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Posted in: Ayumi Hamasaki marries UCLA med student See in context

Go kekkon omedetou gozaimasu!

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Posted in: YouTube says the battle with TV is already over See in context

YouTube does have some absolutely wonderful content, some unique content, and some very enjoyable weekly video shows that i enjoy very much...


YouTube is also a free pulpit for every false prophet of doomsday, every lunatic fringe cult, every sort of grand conspiracy claim, and all sort of racism, sexism, massive amounts of outright misinformation, hate and fear mongering. It is amazing and frightening to see how many people are hard at work trying to mislead as many gullible ignorant people as possible.

Attempting to contact a living person for support issues or reporting issues is nearly impossible. While YouTube does have a flagging system, the flags do not actually seem to work unless the content is a copyright violation or blatant porn.

YouTube has great potential, but the people behind YouTube appear to be asleep at their desks. They need to at the very least start actually enforcing their stated rules.

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Posted in: Poster girl See in context

The original photo of Itano~san was taken of her wearing a lot of makeup.. it does not appear airbrushed, as much as just photo filtered when the digital image was processed. To put her image on the wall they actually use a machine that makes giant decals.. the same as they use for putting logos on the sides of trucks - the machine can cut the image into long strips and print it out that way so that it is just smoothed onto the surface you wish.. this time the surface is not all flat, and there is a tiny bit of distortion in the image because of the raised sections.

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Posted in: Things Japanese girls do that make guys go, 'Huh?' See in context

It makes the guys go 'huh'? Maji de! Oki so maybe i can help the guys a bit? None of these are girl-trade secrets so i should b oki ne? And please understand i am generalizing a bit? NOT every woman is like this.. but enough of us are that these stereotypes DO exist.

1. They want to lose weight when they don’t need to.

This comes from 2 insecurities.. either they are insecure about their body and think that losing weight will help, or it is equally likely that they told you they are thinking about losing weight, because they are insecure in how YOU feel about their body. We want reassuring. Yes often. All of our lives.

2. When one says, “Kawaii!” all the others follow.

This is not something we all suffer from, but it is common enough.. it is the group thinking. When women are put together in groups many of us reaffirm each other, especially when it is harmless meaningless things like agreeing that some thing looks cute. These same women will often immediately tear a man apart for any reason you give them, and it does not need to be much.. a lustful leer, an odd comment.. you are better off avoiding women in groups just generally speaking.

They go to the bathroom in groups.

4. Even though they say “I’ll leave it up to you,” they complain about your choice.

If she actually SAYS that she is leaving it up to you, then it is very possibly a test of your loyalty and sensitivity to her and her feelings. If she compliments you on your choice then you made her feel loved and you appear considerate.. if she complains about your choice.. you failed.

5. They spend a really long time shopping.

Hai. Yes we do! Shopping is fun and interesting for us! We really enjoy just being there surrounded by so many choices and we will spend hours looking for the best things we can find, like it is a game for us! Many men seem to hunt more than they shop.. they go when there is a need, they find an item, grab it, bag it and run. Many women just enjoy the act of shopping.. so much that we can spend hours doing it and not even buy anything!

6. They shave their eyebrows just to draw them back on again.

Not all of us suffer from this.. but i have seen this too - they do not like how their eyebrows grow, so they remove the unwanted hair and then use the eyeliner to draw them how they WANT them to look. Personally i thin mine just at the outside corners but they are not some thing i obsess over.

7. They wear makeup every day.

Not all of us do this, and in fact it is not really healthy. This is usually a mix of things, it can be based on our self-esteem, or feeling that we must keep up an appearance for our boyfriend/girlfriend/boss. Personally i wash mai face often and moisturize and only wear a little makeup.. but some of us wear so much that it is a whole mask of powder, grease and cream.

8. They won’t directly say what they’re thinking.

Some of us do this, some of us do not. There is just too many possible reasons for this.. self-esteem keeps some of us from feeling brave enough to speak, our upbringing often has a powerful effect on how we say what we say and often we may just swallow our feelings down and try to say some thing we hope will be acceptable at the moment. If we are not saying what we are really thinking then we are uncomfortable for some reason about sharing those thoughts. After we become more comfy with you, then you will see more of what we are really thinking and feeling.

9. They’re obsessed with fortune-telling.

This is a mix of things some personal and some social. The occult is another mix of game and excuse for chatting for many of us.. for others it is literally part of their faith in the universe. How seriously we obsess with fortune-telling, blood types, birth animals.. depends on personal experiences for each of us, as well as how we were brought up and also how many of our friends are involved in it.

10. They have a separate stomach just for dessert.

We do?? lol actually no.. what we do is crave sweets! But we do not want to gain weight.. so often we will eat a smaller meal or not finish the meal, just so we will have space left to fill with dessert instead!

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Posted in: Maid to order See in context

@talking2U: If you read the lower part of mai last post, you will see that you wrote nothing i did not:

"The lolicon clique, is mostly tame at least from the views of the barely pubescent children who are involved in it - many of them have not even experienced puberty yet and so are not as likely to even HAVE sexual connections with lolicon at least at first "

So thank you for agreeing with me i guess? And again, since i guess you missed the point of that post as well as HALF of it.. let me try to reiterate in simpler terms..

It is the public perception of the lolita, NOT HOW THE YOUNG CHILDREN PERCEIVE IT, that is connected directly with pedophilia and pornography - that is the problem.

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Posted in: Maid to order See in context

lol! Actually many of these young lolicon girls take these costumes with them in bags out of the home.. they change from their street clothes in the restrooms and then appear in public this way.. then change back to acceptable clothes for going home - there was even a JT article about a neu place that was opening in Harajuku with dressing rooms and lockers special just for the cosplayers to change their clothes and keep them safe!

Can't a girl wear what she darn well pleases is the question.. well actually a minor is subject to the wishes of her parents as well as the public decency laws.. adults are only subject to the public decency laws.

The loli trend has its basis in Nabokov's book 'lolita' about a man who becomes sexually involved with a 12 year old child.. the very word lolita is synonymous with a sexually active underage child. The lolicon clique, is mostly tame at least from the views of the barely pubescent children who are involved in it - many of them have not even experienced puberty yet and so are not as likely to even HAVE sexual connections with lolicon at least at first - unfortunately there is so much loli-porn in Nihon that to dress up that way is easily confusable with Nabokov's pedophile and child whore.

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Posted in: Maid to order See in context

If you are a parent of a teenage daughter.. would you rather see her go out of the house dressed like some lolicon pedophile bait, or dressed in a komon?

It is generally parents and responsible adults who are offended by girls or boys dressing this way in public.

Part of being a rebellious youth is intentionally dressing up to scare and shock your parents and fitting in with your peer group - these are the things most lolicon girls are thinking about.. but sadly that look is literally throwing dry wood on a fire for the chikan.

Parents and responsible adults DO think about such things when they see a young person dressed this way.

The perverts just look and lust and do not think much deeper than the depth of their pants pockets.

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Posted in: Maid to order See in context

Such sad and lewd comments from the JT gallery today! You cannot even see her pantsu.. just her buruma ne? i wore less during taiiku. I think what is more of an issue is that so many women STILL dress this way even in their 20s ~o_0~ the obsession with prepubescent looking appeals to pedophiles - THAT is an actual issue. Until this girl turns around all i can see is a maid.. if she turned around and i saw a child i would think that is cute.. Those men that look at this little girl image and see some thing sexual.. and those women who still dress this way intentionally just to excite chikan - those are the real issues to me.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

@Fadamor: You make a point but in a very clumsy way. Women and men all have 'quirks' and dating is the time when you discover those things about each other and decide to continue seeing each other or not. But there are good reasons for tact. How would you feel if every woman you approached handed you a business card and a questionnaire that you had to fill out and return before she decides in advance whether YOU were worth her time?

Asking if she is single is absolutely sensible.. asking her why her last relationship failed is NOT. Unless she was dating your biological clone then you have your own chance with her.. just focus on the positive between you and her now, not negative things from her past.

And when you think about it a moment.. how many men really want to hear about our old boyfriends? All you really wish to hear is that you are better than them ne? Trust that if she is not with them any more that they failed in their relationship for some reason, just like you failed in your last relationship for some reason, and focus on you and her, not you and her and any other men from her past.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

Eee is oki i guess.. naruhodo often sounds condescending to me.. maji de.. that is fine tho! lol

But that needs to go BOTH ways. Hai it is true that some times we are full of feelings and thoughts and need an outlet and if someone seemed interested in us, or is at least trapped with us in a room (lol) then asking us how we are feeling is a dangerous thing ne? like popping a bubblegum bubble full of hot air then boom it gets all sticky all over you.

But.. assuming the man survives this emotional assault.. how many men can then turn around after the woman has finally calmed down and now feels COMFY with you.. how many of you can then turn around and give us back more than 1 word answers when we ask YOU how YOU feel?

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

@Zenny11: you did not say anything that i did not already say.. real love in a marriage takes commitment, and compromises.. to submit to become not just yourself any more but part of a partnership. The troubles DO come.. but you are not facing them alone any more. When things are bad we hold each other up.. instead of letting them tear us apart.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

@shootload1911: If ANY part of what you wrote were true, then there would never be any dating in high school. The boys then often have no jobs or just some part-time work, nearly all live at home with their parents, MAYBE have a bicycle or scooter.. if ANY part of what you wrote were true then how would any of those boys ever get a date?

It seems that you have bought into a very popular stereotypical fantasy from terebei shows and commercials for cars, clothes, deodorant and hair gell ne? Be hot, look rich, and get the girl.. what that really gets you is just some attention.. and if you cannot back up that show with something deeper than grunting and pounding your own chest about how hot, how important, how strong, how rich YOU are, then you will not be having any sort of serious relationship with a girl except for those gold diggers.. they look for those types and LET them show off by buying expensive dinners and driving the girls on errands in exchange for looking cute or sekushi sitting next to them. The boy gets to appear to have a trophy girl, just another ornament, another overpriced symbol of wealth and superiority - you are just playing that game to impress the other boys.. and the gold digging girls will just USE you to get free things!

I could have wiggled mai butt more than i did and worn shorter skirts.. i could have acted like a mesuinu in heat and the boys would come.. but the kind of boys who answer to that call are NOT the kind of boys you want to marry ne?

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

The first hit is never the last hit. When a parent turns off their thinking part of the brain and falls back into the animal as a solution to problems, it is never just once.. it opens the door to so much that is wrong and evil. We have the potential to be so much better, so much more than an ape. And how we act and react with our children teaches them much more powerfully than your words EVER will.

So the parent who hits their child shows them that hitting is a solution to a problem.. and the person who witnesses or becomes aware of that violence and then DOES NOTHING TO STOP IT is also teaching, sending a message.. You have already HAD the world that was created by apathy and violence - they were called the Dark Ages. It is time to stand up and actually DO something about abuse.. not just words.

So i will report abuse when i suspect it and i WILL point those parents to other better ways to cope with their children. Doing nothing only lets the abuse continue. And acting abusive only spreads the evil and infects children with the same dangerous stupidity.

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

@papasmurfinjapan: Actually sir i HAVE already had to deal with a 5 year old boy who threw screaming temper tantrums and who used them to make his okaasan submit to his wishes, just as his otousan would also scream at his wife to make her do as he wanted, and i gave that here as example on 05:26 AM JST - 15th October.. just a bit earlier in this thread. Because i was hit and know the effects i knew when i was still a child mai self that i would NOT ever hit a child. I know what really happens when you hit children and it is not parenting it is just being a bully who apparently is no smarter than an ape. And what i did with that child i DID admit to with absolutely no shame, just as i will warn a parent who i see hitting their child that they will be reported BY ME if i EVER see it happen again. The article speaks of REGULARLY hearing a neighbor's child screaming in distress. That is NOT occasional spanking.. and even 1 spanking is wrong. And again, if i reported someone for suspicion of child abuse and then the child services workers and police where called to investigate and they did not find enough evidence or decided it was not abuse - then i would still have NOTHING to feel any shame about for putting the safety of a child (any child) over mai own stupid fear of embarrassment.

Because of mai own experiences.. i really only had 2 options in how i would grow up and react.. either to become another abusive parent who just hits instead of THINKING, or to become someone as i did.. someone much more submissive in mai nature who would NEVER hit. Therapy and real love is what it took to save me from a lifetime of being a victim of more dominant abusive types of people.. what saved me from the harm mai okaasan did to me. I just do not wish to see it happen to other children because their parents are too ignorant of better ways of teaching their child than beating them.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

Maybe just this one time since the topic IS about dating and finding the right one, I may be allowed to answer the question:

do you know true love and you sure you won't get hurt in the future. Or did you buy into a fantasy that they guy provided to get you?

The answer is yes I can honestly say I have learned what true love is now, having already had all of the other lust and infatuation and crushes, having already had the bad breakups and the hurting and the feelings of betrayal. And do i know that i wont get hurt in the future? Actually i know that some times i WILL get hurt. There will be troubles that cause frustrations, there will be worries there will be anger and there will be arguments. There will maybe still be others who come into our lives with the only reason to be trying to break us apart. And after having already done those battles more than once i am ready.

Love actually found me after i had given up hoping and looking for it - after trying so hard with too many other people to become anything they wanted me to be just so they would keep me.. Love has been saving me, helping, me, holding me, for only a bit more than 2 years now.. so by some peoples estimate this is still the 7 good years part. True love that has had to already deal with bitter ex gf and ex bf and stalker and with family issues.. true love that in spite of every thing and everyone that has tried to come against us, has only grown deeper and stronger.. true love that already has had to find the strength to forgive mai spouse for every thing from lying to infidelity and still i forgave and said we can do this, we can do this together.. we come from completely different cultures.. and yet some how we seem to fill the emptiness inside each other with exactly what the other was needing.

How do i define true love.. it is feeling whole inside for the very first time in your life. And knowing that you make someone else feel that way too just because you are there with them. It is waking up each day knowing that you have a purpose in life and that purpose is to fulfill your spouse.. and actually knowing that your spouse feels exactly the same way about you.

Some people seem to just assume that a marriage will fail or that a spouse will cheat or that someone better will come along.. those people just expect everything to happen or come to them. Real love is a mutual submission of yourself to accept being part of a partnership and for me it is also a 3some.. between me, mai Love and God. On our wedding day i pledged to mai spouse, mai family, mai friends, and mai God, that i was going to give mai self to this person, to love them and to forgive them and to help them and to honor them and i meant it.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

There are plenty of gold diggers.. and none of them are people you would want to marry.

Marrying IS a major goal in a Nihonjin girl's life for many still.. that is how so many of us were raised to think and i was no exception. But maybe because mai parents married for money and i got to watch how miserable they were, and how otousan found excuses to be away from home and how okaasan took out her frustrations on me.. for those reasons i decided VERY quickly that i would marry for LOVE instead. It was a struggle then.. and when real love did find me it came in a very unexpected way that i had never planned for.. but it DID come and i am so happy now!

Many women are husband searching and so many men do a lot of self-advertising on a date.. but as i wrote before, the time comes when the advertising needs to end and the focus needs to change from you and me to US instead yes?

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

@papasmurfinjapan AND Zenny11: Both of you admit to having grown up in the past when physically 'disciplining' of children was considered acceptable. But as papasmurfinjapan cited in his example about school..

something changed and caning was no longer "acceptable"

What changed is that society as a whole grew up a bit more. New laws made certain old practices illegal as the society struggles to move away from barbarianism. Not every member of society changed however.. some people refuse to accept change.

The view that both of you are really explaining is that you both grew up in the past when such acts were not considered abuse so you see no reason to change. And that is sad if it is truth but i have more faith in humanity than that.. people CAN learn and they CAN still grow.

Saying that you cannot accept wisdom from someone who is younger than you or someone who is not (in your opinion) as experienced as you is a defense against learning by attacking the credentials of the messenger.

Truth is truth, and if it is a child who speaks it first it does not change the truth at all - so using mai age or the fact that i personally have not given birth to a child as an excuse to refuse to learn shows an immaturity on YOUR part.

To answer your question papasmurfinjapan, if i knew someone who spanked their children when they were naughty, i would tell them that physically striking your child is NOT discipline, it is abuse - i would point them to books about parenting

(books written by parents - since the same words coming from me might not be respected by people who think the age of the messenger has ANYTHING to do with the truth of the message)

i would also tell them that if they continued to hit their child i WILL report them to child services, who now here OFFER CLASSES, often COURT ORDERED CLASSES FOR PARENTS to teach them ways to actually discipline a child by being smarter than them instead of just bigger than them.

All of that experience and wisdom between you.. are you both telling me that you cannot find a better way to discipline your children than to beat them?

Both of you offer examples of when you feel that an adult hitting a child is acceptable in your own mind. Both of you cite the past when such things were not illegal as an excuse for thinking as you do. Unfortunately for you the laws are not going to allow such exceptions.. so despite the fact that the message may have come to you from someone younger or someone who never gave birth to a child, you are going to need to grow up a bit and learn to think differently.

Moderator: Readers, you are drifting of topic. Please focus your comments on the question, not at or about each other.

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

Drones and robot are exactly what i am speaking about. Drones and robots act exactly the same as they have been programmed, they cannot learn they cannot grow they do not evolve.

Drones and robots may hear the sounds of a child being beaten, they may see a child covered with bruises, but they will do nothing about it. They are programmed to only act as they do, they do not consider others at all.

Drones and robots are a big part of the problem with abuse being kept hidden - and drones and robots are exactly what i hope people would NOT be. But that is how they seem to be acting in this thread.

Here is a question for those who are NOT drones or robots: Why is it illegal and wrong for a stranger, an adult, to physically strike a child for ANY reason, at ANY time.. but some people think it IS acceptable if the attacker is the child's parent?

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

The problem with all of this thread is that the definition of what is and is not child abuse is not agreed about by all of us. Because we live in a society and choose to live in a society, we choose to accept the laws of that society or we choose to risk the consequences of breaking those laws. Choosing to follow the law then is hardly stepping over the line or acting extreme, in fact it is exactly what is expected of a responsible respectable adult.

Some people consider slapping a child is fine. Some people say spanking is fine, some commenter in this thread actually wrote about caning.. which they felt was acceptable to use on a child. Society is defined by its laws, and the laws do change over time as a society grows, but it seems that many people choose not to grow with its society.

Most of us can and do learn from our own experiences, but a truly wise person can also gain wisdom from the experience of others. Laws are part of that. Situations, observations, things that happened and people who saw what was wrong with things and made and changed laws to make changes in acceptable society.

Unlike some people who agree with physically striking a child, i know that physically hitting someone, especially someone who is younger, smaller and weaker than you, is immoral and abusive and shows a real lack of self-control on the part of the one who is doing the hitting.

As a society humans are slowly learning that we are not apes any more. Others refuse to evolve.

Being a parent is a natural thing, being a GOOD parent is NOT. The first step to becoming a good parent is to learn from those who have actually found good ways to be a loving parent.. NOT to look at how apes 'discipline' their children.

Mai own experience with children has come from a lot of first-hand wisdom of what NOT to do from how mai okaasan treated me in mai own home. And then when i was a babysitter i was 15.. only 10 years older than most of the children i was sitting for.. so i could relate to them well and they accepted me as being both an authority in charge but also as someone who understood how they felt.

i HATED and FEARED mai okaasan and mai otousan was loving when he was home he was like magic.. when he was home.. but when he was gone it was living in a nightmare and it ended very badly as most nightmares do - but that trauma that happened when i was taken away from mai family HAD to happen so that i could be rescued from that place. It was terrifying to be taken away from mai family.. but look where i am now. Would it have been better for me to be abused except when mai otousan was home or was it better that i was taken away from that abuse and given to someone who loves and acts as a good parent? I already know the answer.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

With all of this demeaning talk about 'base men' and worse, talk about money.. you show what is wrong with people, and it has NOTHING to do with if they are Nihonjin or American or from any other place.

The men who are more focused on themselves and their things than they can be focused on someone else are not the best men to date.

And the women who focus on things like money are equally obsessed with the WRONG thing. Those women who are focused on men for their money are no better than escorts, except they have a higher opinion of themselves and are more choosy about their 'clients' ne?

I have never dated or even danced or chatted with a boy because he was maybe rich - and i certainly did not care if they had a car at all - i lived in a city! Bus and train made much more sense than paying to buy and paying to park and paying to store and paying to operate a car. Most boys i knew had scooters or motorcycles.. and those are much more fun to ride on, and more romantic too! So it is wrong to say that all J-girls go gaga? over a car.

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

@papasmurfinjapan: What made me 'lucky' was that i was sick enough finally to be sent to hospital. While i was there the old scars and newer ones were found and although i was absolutely silent about it the doctor took the steps and began the process and for me it was the worst year of mai entire life. In the end it was a good friend and business partner of otousan from USA who adopted me, someone i knew already and trusted but he was the only link that did not break, the rest of mai whole world ended. It was not until another year had passed before i felt like i was even breathing again. Now i have a whole new life and i am part of a family who truly loves me. As bad as things were in mai first home, losing everything I knew was terrifying. But now i have lived in a new life in a new place with a good family for almost 4 years and i am so thankful that somebody helped me get away from the nightmare that i was living in.

So to answer your question about would you prefer that a child only grow up with 1 parent or in an orphanage.. if the alternative is growing up abused and psychologically damaged then yes sir an orphanage IS preferable. The damage done by abuse will stay with you, stay with the child all of their life. The only question is do you let it continue or do you find a way to make the abuse STOP? If you care about the child then try to make the abuse stop.

Call the police. Tell them what you saw, tell them what you heard, tell them every thing you know about the parents and the child and their situation, file the report.

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Posted in: What makes Japanese women say, 'I never want to see that jerk again!' See in context

His bragging, His criticisms, His views, His obsession, His vision, His past love / sex conquests...

Does nobody else see it? All of those complaints are really saying that the boys are obsessed with THEMSELVES and THEIR things and THEIR bragging.. when you enter into a relationship there is a point when the advertising about yourself needs to stop.

Before real love found me i was dating.. and who wants a boy in your life who is only obsessed with HIMSELF?? I wanted a boyfriend who was focused on ME and who would let me be focused on HIM!

The whole point of a relationship is to find someone who is loving and supportive of YOU on a emotional, spiritual and physical level.. filling in the empty spaces in ourselves.. someone who has those same spaces inside that YOU fill for them.

Those boys mentioned in the complaints do not want a girlfriend, they are more in love with themselves - they want an audience and a cheerleader ne?

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

First.. they are a CHILD, not an 'it'. Second, who said that you must physically grab a child and drag them by force to a corner? I was a babysitter for mai occupation for a whole year and i took care of children as old as 5.. and there was only 1 of them who was really determined NOT to follow rules and to act defiant if they did not get what they wanted. Since you ask me for personal experience this is what I did and did not do. I certainly did NOT hit him, OR drag him to their room or humiliate him by putting him in a corner.

There was 1 five year old boy who would yell at his okaasan when he did not get what he wanted. His otousan did this too - he yelled at his wife and that is maybe where the boy learned how to make his mother submit ne? He would yell in public, he would yell in the apartment. He never yelled when his otousan was at home because then he would get hit - then he would cry and cry and cry and fake crying when the real crying was done.. he feared his otousan and they never did have anything like a relationship that i saw in the whole year i was their babysitter.

When he yelled at me the first time i had been warned it would happen. I just stood there for a moment.. it was so loud that it echoed. I let him scream a moment and then started speaking to him very quietly.. i was not yelling back at him i was not telling him to stop.. i was telling him that when he acted better that we could have fun and do things that he wanted to do.. but he could not hear me until he stopped screaming and started listening. Just by not acting like his mother did it confused him and soon he stopped. When he did stop i told him that if he could act good that we could do a lot of things but if he cannot act good then we will do nothing at all. We will not eat because i cannot cook when you are screaming. We will not go outside to play we will not watch shows or play games if you are screaming. If you scream at me then what ever we are doing ends then. So you decide ne? Do you want to have fun or do you want to scream? It took only a few times of me stopping and just standing there when he would forget and scream out of his bad habit. But then he stopped screaming at me!

The worst thing i caught him doing was drawing on a wall in his room with crayon. i just said IYA.. no.. what would you like to do instead? The boy was confused by mai question and i was trying to show him that it was still his choice.. just that he had chose badly. So what else would you like to do? You WANT to get in trouble? Why? You are not dumb.. think of some thing better to do ne? Finally he chose to watch a show. i put the show in the player for him and said if you will clean off the marks on the wall with me i will make treats for the show. He agreed and we washed the wall and then I started the show and made popcorn.

If you physically hit a child then you make the child a hitter or you make them submissive and willing to do anything not to be hurt. There is no such thing as a 'healthy slap'. If hitting your child was a good thing then certainly i should be made queen by now ne? i was hit by mai okaasan and starved and locked in mai room often enough that the scars are STILL on mai back and bottom and legs years later, and i was taken away from mai okaasan because of being hit and hurt so much and i was adopted by a good loving family - so if hitting a child makes a good child and is healthy then I am a perfect example yes?

Actually what i am is a survivor. I have a LOT of personal experience in how a BAD parent acts. And i became a good person IN SPITE of mai parents, not because of them.

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Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her? See in context

That 'fine line' between discipline and abuse is becoming clearer and clearer as the line between verbaly chastizing a child, placing limitations on their activities (like being grounded or denied access to their toys, terebi, internet, friends) for a time - and PHYSICALLY STRIKING A CHILD or endangering their physical or psychological health and well-being.

I know from the comments already posted that many people here still choose to hit their children - it takes almost no thought at all and grants the parent immediate release of THEIR anger upon the child who upset them for whatever reason.

It only teaches the child to fear your anger. Right and wrong are not understood at all until some times many years later.. instead the child learns to fear being beaten again.

I will not waste time in foolish arguments about how you were beaten and you turned out oki.. no.. actually if you think beating a child is an oki idea then you did NOT turn out oki at all.

It is a sick double-standard that children have faced far too long. It is wrong for them to hit others and to get into physical fights, but it is oki for their parents to beat them if they anger their parents?

It is against the law for an adult to physically strike another adult, or to strike a child that is not their own, and the law is changing slowly so that soon it will not be legally overlooked when the adult chooses to physically strike their own children either.

A parent who physically attacks their child as 'discipline' has immediately lost their self-discipline and has given up any pretense of being smarter than the child. They may as well disrobe and go back to the forest with the other apes.

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