Nicky Washida comments

I wonder if her body was found with any evidence that he physically harmed her before the choking took place

HE RAPED HER!!!!

@netninja - thanks hon.

Beautifully written and very poignant.

I wish I could write like you do!

If its true - what wontond said, plus Gurukun I can already tell you his stupid lame excuse - we have heard it a thousand times before.

If its not true - what sidesmile said.

No Russian store staff? There are a lot of Russians in this area. Maybe they dont shop at Uniqlo??!

I have full faith that the Japanese courts will uphold his sentence.

I really hope you are right, but I dont think I share your faith.

But now I wonder oif I should do a Nicky and use freedom of speech and write for unlawful carnal knowledge in it's abbreviated form?

Huh???

The traditional ways of rearing children are breaking down in Japan, much like other customs that have been so familiar.

yes, this is true, but the tradition of returning to your parents house to give birth still seems to be holding fast, even in cities like Tokyo. 9/10 of the Mothers I know returned home to give birth. Of the ones that didnt, the reasons were either that their parents already were close by, or overseas, or in a few cases sadly their Mother had died - for a few of those they went to their mother in laws or sisters house. This is from a sample of hundreds of mothers over the years - the topic of childbirth styles here versus overseas comes up a LOT in conversation!

Being tired and depressed is not a positive state in which to look after babies

No, it isnt but it is also the reality for everyone except a few extremely lucky ones. Having husbands who actually came home at reasonable times, and companies who enforced fathers rights to maternity leave, plus ward offices, support lines and clinics who pay more than just lipservice to supporting new mothers would go a LONG way to helping the situation. I had to fill in a quesionnaire for my third babys 1 month check. Out of interest (I was doing fine with my 3rd but just wanted to see) I ticked all the boxes for struggling, stressed, anxious, tired, depressed. I went through the form with a nurse and got nothing more than a "ganbatte, ne!" It wasnt her fault - that was all she could say. Her hands were tied to giving any other kind of help. I found out a year or so later that volunteer "grannys" will come and help you for free via the ward office - but no one had ever even mentioned that to me. A lot of people dont know about the help that is available, and help is very patchy depending on where you live

TSRnow - thanks for the additional info. Reading between the lines it sounds like - as many have suggested - her family have been less than supportive in helping her. There may be perfectly valid reasons for that. Or it may be that they simply dont care. Either way - imagine being 23 years old and on your own looking after 3 babies under 2 including newborn twins with a husband who is never home. Again - NOT condoning what she did and think she should be punished as she went way over the line - but this sounds like someone who needs help, big time.

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But on a whole they were both great boys and I would love to have twins someday.

Sorry Samantha, I dont mean to "pick" on you but this is exactly the kind of thinking that gets people into trouble! So you taught the twins for 5 hours a day? That sounds great, but have you ever tried teaching them every day after a few months of no more than 2-3 hours straight sleep a night, with a hacking cough and cold but you have no time to get to the doctor and with an older sibling or siblings to ferry here there and everywhere and still doing a good job of it? Thats just a small taster of what its like!

I dont mean to be rude to you, but I used to teach preschool too and believe me there is a VAST difference between teaching and being a parent, however good and caring a teacher you are, as I am sure you are. I hear so many young girls saying "Oh, the kids are sooo cute! I cant wait to have my own!" Yes, they are cute. Perhaps that is why no-one can understand what it is like to be at the total end of your rope as a parent unless you really have been there.

Your impressions of Japanese obstetrics (have you had children here?) are also way off base. They dont whisk them anywhere after they are born unless you specifically ask them to or there is a medical reason to (my second wasnt breathing when he was born so obviously they had to). Sometimes it is necessary so you can have a sleep - after 36 hours of labour for example - and even then they only do it after they have left you quietly for an hour or so together to bond. Doulas and midwives have NEVER been there 24/7 for their patients so what difference does it make whether they go to your house for an appointment or you show up at their clinic? Skin to skin contact does NOT make a significant difference to the prevalence of PND - ask any NICU paediatrician (I have worked with a few on this very topic of PND). Post Natal Stress however DOES very much (again NICU data).

Cos s opinion of having twins is realistic - because he has done the hard graft involved.

Again - like LFRAgain not condoning what this woman did AT ALL, but I agree with the comment he made of "walk a mile in someones shoes". Some woman had the nerve to have a go at me the other day because my son was crying and refusing to sit down on his bicycle seat. Yes, I was getting angry with him - just angry, not shouting or hitting him at all. She had no idea that the reason he was upset was because he didnt want to wear his safety helmet and it is non-negotiable for me (he is 2 and going through that independent choices phase). The woman didnt even have children but had the nerve to tell me how I should be handling this (after years of interrupted sleep!).

Yep, that was a bit of a shaker up here on the 17th floor, and it seemed to go on for a loooooong time.

Elbuda - get OFF the toilet and give us all a night of peace please!!! ;)

For those wondering where the father is - assuming there is a father or husband in this case, it is usual for the Mother to return to her parents home to give birth. She then stays with her Mother and sometimes also grandmother for a month or so after the birth "learning the ropes" so to speak, before returning to her marital home.

If the parents home is far away, then it is usual for the Father to stay in the marital home because of work and visit if and when he can.

Dont know if that is the case here, but it is the usual situation with new Mothers in Japan. Although TBH in my experience he wouldnt be a great deal of use even if he was there! ;)

I dont condone what she has done in any way, but I felt at times I was going insane through lack of sleep even at 33. But you pound a pillow,or you simply walk away for 10 minutes and calm down.

Attempted manslaughter? That doesnt make sense at all! Something like attempted murder but diminished responsibility - not a legal bod. Sorry!

While I sympathise with an exhausted new mother - my God! Every newborns Mother is exhausted, twins especially so. Its kind of what happens when you have a baby. Did it not occur to this woman that causing injuries to a newborn serious enough to fracture a skull that she could actually have killed her child?

She should be arrested for attempted manslaughter, not assault.

My 7 year old is one of the smallest in her class. My 5 year old is pretty average height. Both of them can easily stand up in 1 meter of water (our local kids pool is 1m deep and the water comes to my 5 year olds chin) so I agree - something odd about all of this. Even if the 5 year old panicked and couldnt get to his feet in the water, the 7 year old would have easily been able to stand.

Maybe the 7 year old who slipped hit his head, and the 5 year old then panicked?

Whatever - absolute tragedy. Yes, maybe the boys should have been supervised but equally the gate should have had a lock on it. The poor mother must be beside herself, losing both her sons.

@frank rizzo - how I wish I could disagree with you, but that was quite the most candid succinct analysis I have yet read. Sad, isn't it? As many have said the apathy comes from many being "ok" for now. What will happen when these suited leeches really do run the country into the ground? Not sure I want to stick around to see that.

Yasukuni - absolutely. I have been ill recently and it has left me with only a minor disability (Im now deaf in one ear, dont know if permanent yet) - it can be difficult sometimes to hear properly and yet it is so minor. I am totally in awe now of people who are deaf, or blind, or some other such serious disability who go about their daily lives as best they can. It puts it all into perspective and makes me realise how lucky I actually am!

RIP brave Hashimoto san.

I agree we need to be prepared but some of these things seem a little OTT to me.

And 1 toilet per 100 residents - youll only need to wait 2-3 hours if everyone decides they need to go at the same time! unless someone decides they need to do their make up in there in which case yes, then we are all screwed!

I would like to see them in prison. A fine of 10 mill means nothing to people like this.

mine too Himajin! I cant believe it!

But nice gesture. This is about more than just the number of trees she has brought. This is about someone who doesnt need to give a crap actually making an effort and using her fame to publicise the situation and help and support the people up there.

Maybe TEPCO should offer her a job?

I had one last year. The preparation process was no big deal. A restricted special diet for a few days and the stuff they give you to drink (about 2 litres) just tastes like Pokari Sweat.

The worst bit for me was that it was quite uncomfortable, painful even, but they put the camera right through me to my appendix! Maybe that was why? The doctor swore he had given me enough anaesthetic to sink Muhammed Ali but I didnt believe him for a second! Japanese doctors and I have long never seen eye to eye on what constitutes pain relief!

When it was over my tongue was glued to my mouth and I felt really nauseous but I recovered quickly, and for the peace of mind knowing everything is ok it is well worth it. Total cost about 8000 yen if I remember correctly, including the initial consultation and "diet box".

Obviously cut off and then rudely gestured the wrong person.

This reminds me of my Japanese friend who tells me she cant drink coffee because it "makes me all jittery and shakey and my head spins" - uh, yeah, thats the whole point!

It was a terrible crime, but I honestly dont see how the police could have prevented it unless there are more details we dont know about?

They could either have put him in prison (but for what? ABH?) or provided a guard for the daughter - but he went after the mother and grandmother.

very very sad.

@Gurukun thanks. Maybe I am just losing my sense of humour over all this now?! But i am just so sick of living like this.

My husband is now not speaking to me this morning because I had the gall last night to question where the beef had come from that he used to make hamburg for dinner with. It was "kokusan" beef. So my next question was is he not concerned about that lack of information? This he took as criticism that the entire meal was not good! sigh ! He is the kind of Japanese that believes we can trust the government and so for me for the last year it seems like everything has been an uphill battle. Im being made to feel paranoid for simply questioning reasonably where our food comes from! I am so sick of it!

@Rick Kisa

you are still breathing significant amounts of airborne poisonous nuclear emissions from the plants that continue spewing the stuff to the current day.

Where? What are the counts in the air? What radioactive isotopes are we breathing in? What is "significant amounts"? How much "stuff" is the plant spewing out? What kinds of "stuff"? Where is it going? Who is being affected? To what extent?

you will still use water, which has been acting as nuclear waste and radiation sink for a whole year with no end in sight!

Who is using water that has been acting as nuclear waste? How are they using it? Again, what are the counts in that water and what radioactive isotopes are in it? Where is this water?

the whole eco-system and food chain are messed up with radiation.

What, in the whole country? Can you post evidence confirming this? For example, is the rice I bought from Niigata messed up with radiation? How about the spinach from Shikoku?

Are you talking about the whole country, or just the evacuated areas?

A mega earthquake would not just level the metropolis, but cripple the country for decades to come.

The article is really interesting and well written. Please dont mess it up with ridiculous grossly overexaggerated statements like these.

Sadly too late for our lovely family friend whose funeral was yesterday. RIP Barbara. And may this drug alleviate another patients suffering that you so bravely endured.

PS - I was thinking of you when I saw the "Where were you on 3/11" thread! Have you added your voice to it yet? Would love to see that translated into Japanese!

Elbuda - PLEASE for the love of God keep off the toilet!!!! Its YOU thats doing all this!!!

HansnFranz - Im about 5 minutes away from you and we felt it here. Hard to believe it was a lower 5 in Tokyo though - is that a mistake? Seemed to be barely a shindo 2 to me.

Moderator: The story has been updated. In Tokyo, it was a 3.

@Yubaru - I agree with you, but to be honest, I wonder how much her family have contributed to her desperation. When a child is driven to commit suicide it is because they really feel they have no other alternative - including going to Mum & Dad for help.

Sorry if that sounds judgemental, and I realise we dont know all the facts but I see it so often here - parents putting all their own hopes, dreams, failures, expectations on their children.