As long as the individual is off the streets and unable to reoffend, I couldnt care less what happens to him in jail, but certainly do not wish him well. The children that were abused have to live with that abuse for a lifetime, and though I dont advocate getting out the old pitchforks, he should also have to live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of his life. The least owed to those children is justice and the knowledge he will not be free to repeat his offences.
0 ( +4 / -4 )
Im utterly perplexed by their request that the participants dress one as a man, and one as a women! So, a gay male couple would have to have one man in a dress, and one in a tux...and a lesbian couple would have to have one cross dressing partner? Are they insane? Whilst this may be some peoples thing, forcing it on people who just dont do that is beyond insane.
Im glad they relaxed their bizarre rules, and hope Higashi and Hiroko have a truely lovely wedding and a fantastic life together.
5 ( +6 / -1 )
Whilst this particular mother is clearly utterly feckless, and irresponsible, there is no way you can tarnish all SAHM's with the same accusation. Whereas this particular mother totally neglected her duties, this is ONLY this particular mother and her useless ilk. For all you know, tmarie, she worked part time and was too tired to bother caring for her children, eh?
There is no information saying if she worked part time, full time or was a sahm, and the only thing relevent to the discussion is the fact she should never have left the child at home alone, and strapping him into a pushchair was of course the correct course of action.
Marie, this story is not about who earns the money in the household - a particular bugbear of yours, but the terrible, avoidable death of a little child, who deserved much better. RIP, little one.
1 ( +4 / -3 )
Tmarie, we are heading towards international Baccalaureate, not a Japanese qualification, which would be utterly useless to our family. Considering my level of education, and the resources available with online schooling, we will have absolutely no problem at all, thank you. If we leave Japan, then I am open to them trying going back into the traditional school system if that is what they wanted.
Actually, Tmarie, Cos has been offensive and judgemental and I have a right to defend myself.
In fact Ill be absolutely clear here, if a mother is able to breastfeed and doesn't, then I think she is a terrible mother, who is not doing the right thing for her child's future health. The WHO make the scientifically proved benefits of breastfeeding absolutely clear. Any mother who smokes, or drinks to excess is also letting her children down. Going out to work, leaving children in the care of daycare, to me, is tantamount to neglect. I couldnt give a fig what others, do, just don't tell me that it is the best thing for those children.
Whilst low income or single parent families may well benefit from having a mother who goes back to work, a middle class, middle earning family does not. Like it or not, a good mother puts her needs last, and her children's first.
Bonding takes time and a stay at home mother has the chance to read bedtime stories, to put her soul and life into being as good a mother as she is able to. A working mother is splitting her energy, time and devotion between career and child.
I know my children receive all the love and attention they need. I know that they are learning to the best of their abilities because I have the time to devote to their education. I am there, making memories with my children, instead of their childhood memories being of some person who is paid to care for them and 30 other children in the room. To share their lives, not just their house. To be able to breastfeed for as long as they wanted, and let them self wean without pressure from anyone, or from a demanding job.
To be able to be a stay at home mother is the greatest gift life and my husband has given me, so laugh all you want Marie, the joke is not on me.
Fading into mummy duties? There you go again, Marie. I used to be so black and white, my career, my personal success, money, travel, things, possessions meant so much to me. I was so two dimensional. I have become a much more colorful, bright, interesting, and fun person since I because a mother.
I left university with a good degree, had a career which I was passionate about, and which had really good prospects, not just some teacher of other people's children and had I stayed in my home country and in that position, with the same career progression. by now I would be earning the same as my husband currently earns if not more, but it was nothing compared to the joy I get every day from being a homeschooling stay at home mother.
The only regret I have is that we cannot afford to have more children.
2 ( +3 / -1 )
Firstly, I find the disparaging of "gypsies" as abusive parents to be very offensive. Perhaps some Romany or traveller parents choose to opt out of the system. That is their right. I for one dislike intense governmental involvement in the family, and culture, but then again, Im just a lentil-weaving hippy, as you deduced, though, perhaps not a beatnik, eh.
I said that INTERNATIONAL schooling costs 14 mill a year for 4 kids as a very conservative estimate. Homeschooling, with a comparable standard of education, and in English, with the end goal of International Baccalaureate qualifications costs considerably less. I did not say homeschooling costs that amount.
You say that homeschooling parents abuse their children? Where is the proof of this? I can prove the bullying, and I can also read countless stories on here about children committing suicide because of it. I would rather act with LOVE and UNDERSTANDING towards my children, and look for an alternative. I am actually very offended that you appear to be insinuating that by homeschooling I am abusing my children. Is this what you meant?
The bullying was not "accidental" it was very much on purpose, actually Cos. Which kids do you think shoudl be moved and who would move them? The school just suggested my child did not go outside to play because she was physically attacked. It was my choice and one I will defend to remove her. They are doing very well at school, and very well in her social life, thank you very much.
I did move the victim - to being homeschooled, where she is excelling. I would NOT put her into another Japanese school and we could not afford private international school, where the issue of bullying would be less likely.
Where do you get the 500,000 yen figure from Cos? I dont think you could feed an adult for a year on that amount, let alone clothe them, even modestly.
Mothering is a real job, Cos, just because you say it isnt, doesnt mean that is actually the case. I am also very upset that posters are jumping on Cleo's daughter for her choices, when Cleo and her daughter appear to be devoted to their family.
-1 ( +0 / -1 )
Either make it yourself, Gen, or else at a pinch Subway isnt too horrible, even if the bread is a bit sweet. There used to be a Pret a Manger, but that closed down years ago.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
Concretely, when the Gipsy do like you, and they are said to... you know what people say.
Im not sure what you mean by this? Do you mean that people say bad things about gypsies who chose not to educate their children? Concretely?
Homeschooling is not refusal to educate, its alternative education. We are not unschooler's Im afraid, rather more homeschoolers of the classical variety, who work to outside standards and curricula. Sorry to disappoint.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
Im proud to have breastfed my children until they were toddlers, to co sleep until they were ready to let go, to wear them in slings. Im proud that they are doing so well at school - they do outside impartial testing, twice a year, and are working a grade ahead of their age. Im grateful to have found a lovely man who has similar ideas to me when it comes to child rearing. Yes, we are lentil-weaving hippies, yes we make our own clothes sometimes, but our children are happy and secure, safe and LOVED.
Im sure you love your children too, Cos, and want to justify going out to work and leaving them with strangers. If it makes you feel better about your choices, feel free to pick holes in mine.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
I explained that 4 kids in international school would cost 14 million give or take, and we could not afford that, and therefore I am at home with them, and homeschool them, which is a considerably cheaper option.
Homeschooling is not allowing children to be truants, not is it just "studying at home", it is a perfectly valid method of education that many parents use.
I would not put my children into a Japanese public school, as we had issues with bullying in 1st grade, and also I think the standard of education is absolutely abysmal. I can do MUCH much better at home with them.
As far as what homeschool DOES cost, it is around 500,000 yen a year for the two of homeschool age, in accredited homeschool programs, and extra books and a computer for each child, plus the costs of my staying at home.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
Cos, I homeschool my children. Never in a million years could we afford to send the children to international school, especially when the youngest two reach school age. So, no we are not that well off that we can afford luxuries like international schools. We just budget for insurance, so if anything happened to one of us, we are in a position to take care of our children financially. A dedicated, qualified, full time nanny would cost a lot more than 500,000 a year. More like 300,000 a month. He wouldnt leave our precious children with a poorly paid woman who is just there to clean up and do the ironing.
2 ( +2 / -0 )
If my husband, heaven forbid, drops down dead tomorrow, we have life insurance, and insurance on the house loan. I would be very comfortably off, and I suspect that most families have measures like that in place. He also has life insurance on me, since replacing me with a nanny, and international school, cook, cleaner etc would be a very expensive venture indeed.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
Noone should speak to a child, any child badly and demand they "shut up", Marie, it is just NOT how grown ups should talk to children, or each other. Its abusive. Teachers should be able to run a classroom without resorting to abuse.
I DO hope you dont work with young children if you think that is an acceptable way to talk to them.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
Mr Orange is by no means perfect, but I know for a fact he and I are on the same page. I am his wife, not a parasite. I educate and care for OUR children, which is incredibly valuable to the family, but emotionally and economically. If we had to pay for two lots of international school at 3.5 mill per child, we would be bankrupt as we could never find 14 mill a year, and I certainly would never earn that here, but more importantly my children and husband would never see me. I am so grateful I have such a solidly dependable and supportive husband, who wants the best for our children as much as I do. We budget well, and can afford a reasonably decent standard of living, I appreciate everything he does working hard outside the house for our family, just as he appreciates me and everything I do, working INSIDE the house for our family.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
The total lack of care and responsibility within schools in Japan has forced me to have to homeschool my children. Playgrounds are not properly supervised, children are allowed to run wild and put themselves and others in danger. This happened on the school's watch, not the parents, who had every reason to expect their child to be returned to them at the end of the schoolday with both eyes intact.
2 ( +3 / -1 )
The trouble with rescue dogs is that their temperament is unknown, due to haphazard breeding and past abuses, and so they are often not suitable for families without a lot of experience, or with small children.
I bought my cats from a reputable breeder, who screened for health issues, and bred for temperament and health. I knew I would be getting a healthy cat, whose breeder was devoted to the breed and producing healthy kittens. Far better strays are trapped, neutered and released, pet shops are not allowed to sell cats and dogs, and breeders who have proper animal handling certification produce kittens and puppies who are wanted, genetically sound, and bred for good temperament. I was not even allowed to take my guys home without agreeing to neuter, having them chipped, and signing a contract agreeing to keep them inside.
0 ( +1 / -1 )
These parents left their child in the care of the school, and had every right to expect their child to be safe and supervised. The school is in loco parentis, and has a duty of care to the children. If this child had been maimed under care of the children, posters would be bleating about lack of parental supervision.
12 million yen was by no means enough money. Milk should not be supplied in breakable glass bottles, children should be supervised so they are stopped from doing silly things that young kids will do. The school is culpable here, and its idiocy in supplying milk in glass bottles and not supervising 8 year old children.
I do hope the money goes some way to helping this young man deal with his disabilty.
1 ( +2 / -1 )
Ild rather be a stay at home, homeschooling mother, that others would judge as faded, but I would say has grown up a lot and no longer puts herself first all the time, than a vicious, mean spirited, judgemental, money and success obsessed career woman with no children but a lot of views on how parents raise them.
-1 ( +1 / -2 )
I hope KittyPussyWillow has an uncomplicated surgery and recovery, and is feeling less frisky very soon. It must be so hard on them wanting to mate, but not able to get out to do so.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
Also agreeing with Cleo (though not the zero comment) and orange. Hell must have frozen over.
I agree, Tmarie, it must be a cold day in hell if you and I agree on anything!
Can I ask, are ALL stay at home mothers senbei munching losers according to Cleo and Marie, or just some of them?
Also why, when sahm's are giving to society by caring for their children, shouldnt they be given healthcare and pensions? Is it sour grapes that some women can stay home and care for their children and have supportive husbands who want the same thing and the ladies in question have to leave their kids or not have them and go out to do some soulless job for Japan Inc?
I hate senbei, but will buy a pack with pride when i next go shopping! I am PROUD to be a senbei munching sahm mother, with well behaved, well adjusted, bright, loving children, that I really know well, and they know me.
-1 ( +1 / -3 )
Pussywillow, I would just take her along and get her fixed. You can get help in some areas from the ward office with neutering costs, just ask for Kyosei help for a cat. It is not much - a few thousand yen off, but at least something. I really feel for you with the nighttime yowling! I know one vet who is a little cheaper (15 thou for a boy, and 20 for a girl), and has been good with my youngest kitty, in the Tokyo area, if you want a recommendation. They wont do it before 6 months, unfortunately, and the cat has to be at a certain weight.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
If a woman works she is capable of paying her own pension policy payments. Mothers who do choose to stay with their children should not be penalized by not being able to claim a pension in their later years.
Marie. What can I say. I wish you well, and hope that one day you are happier with your lot and less bitter and aggressive. What I have a problem with is the bashing of mothers who choose to stay home and the constant questioning of their input and lives - even Cleo wants to berate the "sembei munchers"! Noone is playing the victim and Im fed up of you putting words into peoples mouths and playing posters off against each other.
Marie, whether you like it or not, breastfeeding is best for children, and the longer the better, that is fact, not opinion.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
Dennis, 49 kitties?! That would be some clowder! I have enough with my little terrors.
Im with Dennis on the neutering, the pissing on belongings and up walls is no fun, nor is the nighttime yowling for a mate. It is not fair on the pet to be sexually frustrated, and neutering removes that drive.
3 ( +3 / -0 )
Gaijintraveller - absolutely. Early neutering is impossible to secure here,I could not find a vet who would neuter a cat under 6 months old. Also it is very very expensive. We paid 25,000 yen to neuter our male, females are even more expensive.
We have two inside cats, I would never let mine outside due to weirdos who like to torture animals, and also the traffic problem, not to mention FIV and other diseases they can pick up. Cats are fine inside with a litter box which is cleaned twice a day, and lots of environment enrichment...just not 50 of them!
6 ( +6 / -0 )
An allowance would be fantastic, Cleo, what a great idea!
Whilst hell would freeze over before Ild put a 0 age baby of my own into childcare, Ild much rather read far fewer "mother snaps and kills children" stories, so I accept that being a stay at home mother is not for everyone, nor can everyone afford to do this. What about single mothers, presumably in Japan, they do not have the luxury of staying at home with their children and have to go to work to support their family unit?
Dog, childcare for children of working mothers is not pampering, but I do think any subsidy should be means tested.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
This wouldnt be for me, but this is at least a start. There have been far too many desperate women hurting their children in the news, who could perhaps benefit from a break. Being a stay at home mother should be a choice, not a necessity due to lack of child care.
1 ( +1 / -0 )
How is this a surprise? That said, do they know something they are not telling us? Is this fault showing signs of shifting, or is pressure building up inside Fuji?
1 ( +1 / -0 )
And orange, who home schools her children, could comment on how you should have been home past three and how you didn't put your kids first like she does.
Excuse me stop putting words into my mouth! I am doing what is right for my family, because we had issues with bullying and I didn't want my child to be one of those poor young kids who end up jumping off a roof due to bullying, thank you very much. Perhaps Cleo had a better experience of the school system than I did. She put HER kids first, in a way that was right for them. I am doing so in a way which I am finding works for my particular family. Just because i chose to raise my children a certain way, doesnt mean I think everyone else should do so either. No two children are the same, nor are their needs. You need to be fluid, not dictatorial when dealing with children and their development.
0 ( +0 / -0 )
Cleo did what she thought was right for her family, and clearly loves them very much. I am doing what is right for mine. I dont receive any government support as a stay at home mother, and my pension rights as such are a reward for the work I have done in raising my children. If you dont like it tmarie, then dont let other people's children pay YOUR pension when you retire.
If some women experience a glass celing, and are not promoted as they would like at work, then perhaps they shoudlo consider it is not because they are female, but because they cannot make a calm, logical arguement, and appear to lack the skills their peers do. A bit of personal responsibility could go a long way here.
0 ( +0 / -0 )