I do my level best not to spank my very spirited, now 8 year old son. I always do what I can to build his confidence with praise and persuade him that he needs to do the things he needs to do but sometimes unfortunately a spanking is the only way I can find to get his attention. I don't feel good about it, and I wonder if there is not some other way, but as near as I can tell it is what I have to do on some occasions. The encouraging thing is these occasions are getting fewer and further between.
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I want to know more about why she was raising him alone. Dissecting mommy is never an appropriate response but in a country where it is common for mothers to kidnap their kids and isolate them from their fathers and paternal relatives is it so surprising that kids develop problems? I personally know numerous kids suffering various degrees of psychological damage from exactly that dynamic.
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I know a certain drop dead beautiful 40 year old woman who has had not just one but several high profile high status dream careers concurrently who would be happy to drop them because she is desperate to have a child and a husband.
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The problem going on here can easily be summed up in the phrase is "trying to please your wife". The pattern is always the same it is in her nature for a woman to build boundaries and barriers and then expand them until in the end she has everything and he has nothing. The person in the relationship who cares least has the most control. Guys: a stay calm, make reasonable and fair boundaries and enforce your side in a calm way and do not give in the inevitable hysteria that will ensue at first. Just stay calm and stand your ground. Your job on earth is not trying to please a woman especially not one who will never be pleased. Let her do what she wants outside your boundaries. If what she is doing is idiotic and offensive to you withdraw any support of the activity and let her fall on her own face. No comment from you is necessary. Instead of taking the position that you have something to prove to her let her prove herself to you.
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If they are upset about safety they should be welcoming the Osprey because it has a better safety record than the chinook helicopters it replaces.
-1 ( +1 / -2 )
Schmuck lessons anyone? Those are not ways to get a girl or keep one. They are wonderful ways to make her think you are a needy schmuck and get what she wants out of you until she finds someone with some confidence to dump you for.
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Spend my life living in a paranoid defensive fear because of the one in a million chance that some random stranger is going to lose it near me, or actually accept that there is a an element of risk in all things and simply enjoy my life. Hmmm. That's a tough one.
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I would tend to agree with all the points made and add that japanese students tend to have a couple of self destructive assumptions, one is that they will always suck so there is no point in even trying to get it right if they can just get it in the ball park, and the second is that they can suck horrendously but the victims of their sentences will be able to figure out what they are trying to say anyway.
I spend all my time trying to keep my students using simple sentences and not constantly try to us the flowery metaphors and idioms that they seem to think will make them more artsy and intuitive or something.
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Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention. My wife abandoned my child in a supermarket a week before she abducted him. And even though that is something I can prove happened with documents I have been assured that if I try to fight the case in the courts I will loose.
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my wife abducted my child 5 months ago. She told the police she was being abused. It was a load of crap. We had arguments. They were two sided.
My wife is, I am afraid, insane.
I know where they are but I cannot do a damn thing about the situation.
All I can hope for is that she will cool down but the latest news is that she has now alienated half of her own family, the exact people that she went to for support.
She still does not seem to be getting the hint that it is maybe not everyone else who is the problem here.
But maybe it is starting to sink in a little.
The thing about this that I think gets ignored in these discussions is that I would be just as screwed if I were Japanese.
I think maybe the feeling of the authorities in Japanese courts is if we treat our own left behind spouses like shit why should these whiney foreigners expect any better?
I have attended a Japanese hearing before.
One of my Japanese friends got a year and a half prison sentence for having a joint on him. The sentence was stiff because it was his second offense.
The courts here are nuts.
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