PerformingMonkey comments

Posted in: Foreign Ministry official reprimanded for drunken violence See in context

Send him to the Congo he's free to leave

There's always somewhere anybody can lead

Send him to the Congo you have to believe

You can do it if you want to just do what you please

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Man pretends to visit Muji stores 5.62 million times in 6 weeks; gets arrested again See in context

MUJI never thought to impose a one visit per day limit?

4 ( +6 / -2 )

Posted in: 18-yr-old girl found dead at river; father found nearby in apparent suicide attempt See in context

It's not an attempt if she's dead.

-11 ( +2 / -13 )

Posted in: Japanese folk rituals approved as UNESCO intangible heritage See in context

Nothing beats the mud men they showed on TV this morning.

No one was safe, not even the local police.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Posted in: Survey shows more Japanese married men, single Japanese women cheating on their romantic partners See in context

Maybe it comes with being hirsute.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Global arms firms show off wares in Japan See in context

Yes, because the biggest threat to the world right now is men in other countries with guns.

-3 ( +4 / -7 )

Posted in: Cafe opens with robot waiters remotely controlled by disabled people See in context

Why are people complaining about 1000 yen?

Tokyo recently increased its minimum wage to 985 yen (the highest in Japan).

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Posted in: Arrest of Ghosn and another top exec sends shockwaves through Nissan See in context

He could try bowing deeply.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: K-pop group BTS's talent agency apologizes over A-bomb shirt See in context

Love the big "攘夷" flag.

Saw this clown on TV this morning. His message was falling on deaf ears.

-7 ( +2 / -9 )

Posted in: 'Ababis' and 'Star Wnrs': Knockoffs thrive in China e-commerce See in context

I don't see the problem. This is imitation, not counterfeiting.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

Posted in: Japan invests in service industry, reshaping its legendary hospitality See in context

I've started using the "self regi" at my local FamilyMart.

Best service I have ever received.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Posted in: Should you dip your egg sushi in soy sauce before you eat it? Survey asks Japanese diners See in context

I don't dip, I pour.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: JAL pilot, arrested in London before flight to Tokyo, admits being almost 10 times over alcohol limit See in context

OK, so his name, in Japanese, started appearing on 2ch about six hours ago, mainly due to a quick google search bringing up his Facebook profile. Now regional news sites are starting to post it, so I guess we will see his name on TV tonight.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Trump warns that migrants who throw stones at U.S. military may be shot See in context

The vast majority of the invaders are young well-fed men, and stones are weapons that can kill.

What! You mean tell me that not only are they armed to the teeth with pebbles, they will also be launching their lithic offensive on a full stomach?

4 ( +7 / -3 )

Posted in: President Claire Underwood takes charge in 'House of Cards' See in context

I expect ratings for the second episode onwards to be low.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: JAL pilot, arrested in London before flight to Tokyo, admits being almost 10 times over alcohol limit See in context

Interesting that none of the major Japanese news outlets have release his name.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Posted in: 'AirDrop perverts' on Japanese trains now a thing See in context

Another reason to use Android.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

Posted in: Language learner-friendly Japanese textbooks See in context

Er, these books are targeted at teachers of Japanese.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Foreign divorced parents fight in vain for child custody in Japan See in context

The Koseki system is a big obstacle.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Which Japanese and foreign celebrities are you tired of seeing, hearing or reading about? See in context


I have to agree, Matsuko Deluxe is one of the few people on Japanese TV that doesn't make me want to immediately change channels.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Posted in: Japanese TV show 'Densha Otoko' to be remade in U.S. See in context

Americans don't use trains, or walk for that matter.

Any journey over 50 metres has to be by car.

It's in the constitution.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Hong Kong will 'fearlessly take action' against independence talk See in context

Carrie Lam is a Chinese Communist Party stooge.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Posted in: Republicans aim to confirm Kavanaugh this weekend after FBI report See in context

This is not a criminal investigation – though it probably should be – this is to determine whether he is fit to be appointed a Supreme Court judge.

Regardless of the veracity of the allegations against him, and even accounting for the stress he must be under, judging from the way Brett Kavanaugh has presented himself throughout the investigation, he is not fit to work at Walmart, let alone be appointed to one of the highest positions in the US.

He comes across as having no integrity, or tact, and being of rather low intellect.

Then again, this is the US in 2018 we are talking about, so perhaps he is overqualified.....

3 ( +7 / -4 )

Posted in: Toyota, SoftBank tie up on autonomous vehicle services See in context

So, Pepper-driven cars, then.....

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Posted in: Japan needs tougher competition to improve, says rugby coach Joseph See in context

Priorities, please.

They can't even find enough Japanese players to field a full team.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Convenience store robber politely asks, 'May I have some money?’ See in context

Apparently, his exact words were:


2 ( +3 / -1 )

Posted in: 2 sisters sent to prosecutors after keeping 40 cats in Nagoya apartment See in context

Had they called themselves a café, they might have got away with it.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: Meet Ren and G See in context

Another event that Japan seems to be seriously overestimating the popularity of.

This is not the football world cup.

They may just fill up the stadiums, though.

Domestically, the niwaka fans will feign interest as long as the foreign-mercenary-lead Japanese team remains in the tournament.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: Japan's average land prices rise for 1st time in 27 years See in context

Hard to get a decent new apartment in Osaka city unless you are willing to pay upwards of 50 million yen.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: UK's Hunt says Britain can flourish even without Brexit deal See in context

Britain hasn't flourished in decades and I doubt a miracle is going to occur after Brexit.

As for his Japanese speech, it wasn't amazing, but better than many eikaiwa lifers here who can't even read katakana after 20 years in the country.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

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