philly1 comments

Posted in: 72-year-old woman gets 18 years in prison for killing 3 family members See in context

Getting the impression that familial bonds are weak in Japan.

Or perhaps after decades of undervalued servitude to a husband and in-laws (based on the hierarchical nature of Japanese society and the role of a wife and daughter-in-law within it), the poor woman thought that death was a better option than life. Sadly for her, the murder-suicide did not go as she planned. She did not get her release.

I feel so much compassion for people in such situations. They do not get the support they need for their own physical and mental health which is fundamental but too often unavailable for caregivers. And not just in Japan. After years of caregiving, as Zichi said, in prison she will receive care--likely more care than she may have known previously. I hope that she finds some serenity and peace in her remaining years.

9 ( +9 / -0 )

Posted in: Mochi may be even more dangerous in 2021 due to coronavirus See in context

Mochi, the most boring bland food of all. Hard to believe it is even a food. Best avoided in my experience.

The only thing worse is konyaku imo--slabs of tastelessness slathered in gooey sauces.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Emperor thanks medical professionals in video message See in context

My OCD really wishes that bonsai was positioned between them rather than over his right shoulder.

Asymmetry is preferred in Japan.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Man referred to prosecutors over 'Terrace House' star's suicide See in context

Seems these days the only reason people are on these platforms is to boost their egos. It goes the other way too.

With all due respect, that's a bit too simplistic. SM platforms are a way to communicate, to post creative content that would otherwise not see the light of day, to generate income and yes, sometimes become a 'star' with millions of followers.

However, if you have your head in a romantic cloud about the reality of all that, you might be in big trouble. Obviously, for whatever psychological and mental health conditions at work, Hana could not blow off her critics. Others on the show who have left it to continue their careers in other ways have made similar criticisms as Hana's mother about the pressures to "act" in certain ways on what purports to be an unscripted show. Others on the show have spoken of their SM accounts blowing up after certain episodes and comments.

Producers should be held accountable for the health--physical and mental--of their content creators. They need to provide a safe working environment--which could very easily include third party monitoring of social media feedback to block harmful, bullying trolls. It wouldn't affect their bottom line on a franchise as popular as Terrace House in all its incarnations.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Lawyer for 89-year-old driver of car that killed woman, 3-year-old daughter blames faulty brake See in context

Driver error and infraction number 1:

I can't tell you the exact number of times that Tokyo drivers--young and old--blasted through intersections to beat a red, threading their way through the pedestrians already in the crosswalk. The first time it happened I was just stepping off the curb. After that I was consistently cautious, always hung back a few seconds and double-checked that it was safe before crossing.

Driver error and infraction number 2:

The responsibility of the owner of the car to insure that the vehicle is sound and properly maintained. With mandatory 2 year inspections that record should be accessible to any court. Here the vehicle's owner/driver is at fault if indeed the brakes were faulty.

Driver error and infraction number 3:

If that indeed is what may have happened, hitting the gas instead of the brake is on the driver.

Free pass in spite of the law and the circumstances:

The driver is former senior bureaucrat with a weasel lawyer.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Posted in: New Santa look See in context

Definetly not Santa.

Neither is the 1930s Coca Cola version in the 20th century.

Saint Nicholas is another entity entirely.

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

Posted in: Nike ad addresses bullying and racism in Japan; riles up debate online See in context

“Is Japan really such a country full of discrimination? It feels like you’re creating a false impression of Japan.”

Yes. Sadly it is full of such discrimination. No. It' isn't a false impression. Rather it's a point of view that the Japanese don't wish to comprehend. It doesn't fit the Four Seasons Land of the Rising Sun with Uber Cool Technology and Always Polite People narrative.

25 ( +31 / -6 )

Posted in: After thousands of years in homes, traditional Japanese flooring goes modern See in context

The single use plastics are the main problem. Bags, plastic bottles, food boxes which are ending up in the oceans.

Correction: The plastic itself is not the problem. These items do not appear in the oceans of their own volition.

Governments that have not supported the development of disposal technologies or directed the makers of single use plastic to provide the infrastructure for its proper disposal are a huge part of the problem. In addition, careless people who routinely fail to dispose of such plastic properly even where facilities exist are at the heart of the problem.

For example, I cannot dispose of any Styrofoam even though it is completely recyclable because where I live there is no way to do so. I have no choice but to send it to the landfill. That's marginally better than throwing it in the ocean, but not much. Wherever possible I avoid choosing single use plastics, but I didn't have much luck with that when I lived in Japan.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: People who badmouth others undermine their own physical, mental health See in context

How many sweet, really old people do you actually know? I mean a few, maybe, but really?

@ Farmboy: I'm going to call out the ageism in this comment. I have a few questions.

How do you define "really old"? By the numbers on a birth certificate? Isn't it relative? For example, any 13 year-old will undoubtedly think that their parents are "way too old to have sex" and that such indulgence is disgusting. Does that make it true?

How many "really old" people do you know? That is work with, live with, interact with in a meaningful way other than watching them pass on the street or in shops? The more "really old" people--or people of any age group--that you know, the greater your chance of finding sweetness in them.

And if you do meet a "really old" person who seems less than sweet during your brief encounter, have you considered their situation from a default position of compassion? Isn't everyone is entitled to a bad day when they slip up and let their irritation show? Might there be a good reason--physical pain, recent bereavement, bad news or the like--that might colour their responses in the moment? Couldn't you extend them a measure of grace?

Just asking...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Roppongi sparkles See in context

Ugly costly, kitch pollution.

While I understand that the light up spectacles around Japan are not everyone's thing and might seem an assault to the senses they do fill a collective need. On account of its time zone and geographical location the sun sets early in Japan even in summer. Through winter's darkness people have an even greater need for light.

Since the sun does not provide it, throughout time people in the northern latitudes have created it. Of course, a great bonfire or Yule log to gather round is nicer in some respects; however, today that's impractical. Now we have light designers who do marvelous things the ancients couldn't even dream of.

In pre-covid times (sounds like millions of years ago doesn't it) Japan's light up spectacles were a way of bringing people out of their homes to take in the sights, spread a little money around to the nearby vendors, and get a little exercise at the same time. In general, that does not happen in my country except for the few lights people string on their houses. And I miss it (as well as the safety in wandering and exploring alone after dark).

When I lived in Tokyo a few winters back, it was lovely to get out of my 30 square meter apaato, hop a train and explore the various neighbourhoods which were lit up for the season. The long pink walk along the river in Meguro was one of the loveliest interludes in spite of the crisp air.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: English mistake makes Kyoto the enemy of the world See in context

English teachers should never be short of work here.

That should read: Copy editors should never be short of work here.

However, as Luddite points out:

I used to do English copywriting for an ad agency here. Often my work was criticised by my Japanese bosses for using incorrect English, who returned copy with their own nonsensical and poor grammatical ‘corrections’.

Exactly. Don't even try to make sense of the (unrecognized) problem. It's Japan. It is what it is and ever will be.

12 ( +12 / -0 )

Posted in: Don't move See in context

... in rush hour they could move more people up and down the escalator if everyone stood.

Alas, this finding seems counterintuitive to most people who are hard pressed for time if they are not moving forward on their own volition. Another example of emotion overriding logic.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Demystifying Japanese food for the home chef See in context

I'm with you expat. Leave it to those who do it professionally and surpass any of my attempts at amateur imitation. Besides, preparation of Japanese food is far too fiddly. I don't particularly like to cook; I like to be fed.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Fetus found in garbage truck in Iwate See in context

A knowledgeable and compassionate response to a dark and most often hidden trauma, Lisa. In such cases some people opt to bury the remains in their yard and perhaps place a commemorative plant, stone or garden sculpture over it. However, someone living in an apartment complex will not have that option. A slightly darker observation: The municipal manual does not offer suggestions for disposal of this kind. Hospitals and clinics don't offer a service for this unfortunate circumstance either. Cremation is an option; however, it's expensive. I know a couple who kept the remains of a much wanted pregnancy in their freezer for many years as they had no way to deal with the physical aspect of their loss. Compassion and blessings to the parents and the unborn child.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Nations long targeted by U.S. chide Trump’s claims of fraud See in context

If Trump demands for vote counts to stop, it should be in ALL places. If he want it to continue, it should be EVERYWHERE; not just in the states he is behind.

Trump cannot issue such a demand or have it obeyed in a democracy. The powers to carry out such orders are the powers of despots and dictators.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: Increasingly normal: Guns seen outside vote-counting centers See in context

“I’m here to protect a peaceful protest,” said Keith Owen, who carried a black, semiautomatic assault rifle and wore a handgun in a holster strapped to his leg. His vest held extra ammunition. He described himself as a veteran who served in Afghanistan and now lives in Arizona.

Such "protection" is not the responsibility of citizen vigilantes.

7 ( +11 / -4 )

Posted in: Second wave of coronavirus infections picking up with a vengeance See in context

... if this continues, stronger measures may be required.

Don't you mean stronger suggestions may be made?

0 ( +10 / -10 )

Posted in: Republicans break with Trump over push to halt vote count See in context

“The votes will be counted and you will either win or lose,'' Kinzinger told Trump. "And America will accept that. Patience is a virtue.''

America might, but I doubt that Trump will. As for any virtues he might have, patience isn't one of them. THis is a man who thinks he can grab this election just as he does any little kitten he fancies.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Finding relief from sleepless nights amid pandemic See in context

In addition to suggestions in the article and those offered in the comments, I would also recommend hypnosis. There are numerous channels and practitioners who provide excellent, FREE content on YouTube that might be helpful to some.

While I can't recommend any specific channels in Japanese, I do like Marisa Peer, Thomas Hall and Michael Sealy. However, individuals respond differently to different voices in addition to background soundscapes and may need to experiment before finding a solution. Any search engine will provide thousands of options.

Many people also find Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping) helpful in addressing not only insomnia but also anxiety. If interested, people could start with NIck Ortner's channel and/or app.

Sweet dreams.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Split couples getting back together again as virus makes it hard to meet new people See in context

@ Reckless, I have no idea what the male Book of Beta is.

I am in a gloriously happy, strong and autonomous place, and I know of what I speak.

If women are slinking back it's likely out of fear of being alone rather than any misdemeanor on their part. It takes two and both have to give and take to succeed in a marriage.

But women (most especially in Japan) are culturally conditioned to think that they are of no worth whatsoever without a man, and that they'd better snag one and keep him before they're (stale) 25. And more often than not, Japanese men relate to women as the character Botchan does. From a point of male privilege and emotional neglect while expecting service and loyalty.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: Turn any table into a kotatsu with new adhesive heater from Japan See in context

But your back is still being chilled by the 15 degrees outside the kotatsu, even with multiple layers on. Not ideal to be sitting around plumped out like the Michelin Dough Boy or wearing gloves to keep your hands warm in your own home.

Having known it both ways, insulation & central heating are infinitely superior to suffering winters in Japan.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Split couples getting back together again as virus makes it hard to meet new people See in context

Unless she repents and pleases him better and regularly in the bedroom. I suggest probation because I believe in redemption.

Or: Unless he repents and shows his respect and appreciation for her in ways that count (such as sharing responsibility for domestic duties, offering a foot or back rub without expectations of benefits, listening to her concerns or going out into restorative nature or an onsen together regularly--use your imagination). I suggest an attitude adjustment because I can predict that expecting her to add pleasure in the bedroom to her current list of domestic burdens is the easiest way to turn her off. Fair warning.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

Posted in: Gov't kicks off Warm Biz energy-saving campaign See in context

How about bringing in laws that force builders to insulate every home and workplace they build.

Eeehhhh? Bringing change to Japan? How many millennia of meetings and pre-meeting meetings might that require? After that, enacting a law that is not compulsory, but merely a suggestion (so as not to impinge on the rights enshrined in the Constitution).

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Japan’s 'new normal' train manners poster: 7 steps for safe travel during the pandemic See in context

Yes, please. Everyone stop with the "new normal" Newspeak.

Since protocols sometimes change, call it the "current corona/covid protocols" or the "current pandemic protocols" or even "current health protocols." There is nothing "new" about the level of hygiene necessary to avoid contagion, or behaviours that avoid the spread of contagion to others.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Posted in: Some helpful tips on Japanese etiquette See in context

Don't blow your nose in public.

It's much less gross to pick it. Eating it optional.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: Some helpful tips on Japanese etiquette See in context Japanese instructor told me in an admonishing tone that we had likely drunk over 10,000 yen worth of tea.

Let the instructor admonish all they want. This is not on you. If the cultural norm is to select as guest of honour someone who is very likely unfamiliar with the nuances of the tea ceremony as well as ask that guest to make decisions about the tea service instead of the host; then the responsibility for the cost of the tea is 100% on the host.

But that's the culture in Japan. As a non-Japanese you're left in the dark, put in the position of making mistakes, and chastised afterwards for predictable errors that could have been avoided entirely. Instead, you're shamed. Your sensei would know that you might lack basic knowledge about the ceremony. You ought to have been given all the information you needed to be a polite guest by your sensei before taking part. No shame required. But then no one could enjoy the confirmation of how boorish non-Japanese people are.

9 ( +10 / -1 )

Posted in: This work pod built for two could be the new way to have face-to-face meetings in Japan See in context

My first impression as well, Oxycodin. Looks like a prison visit without room for the guard.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Do you think remote working, where possible, improves productivity, creativity and staff retention for a company? See in context

Being self-employed, I've always worked at home with a real desk, large keyboard, big screen and comfortable chair.

Being self-employed you probably selected a home that would accommodate the accoutrements required to do your work comfortably. However, those who normally commute from a miniscule apartment will likely be sitting at table or kotatsu which are not designed for or suited to long hours at an office. They likely won't have enough space for a proper work station. Add a partner, toddlers, a dog and perhaps a parent or two and the complexities of WFH increase drastically.

A single person who can find other accommodation and outfit themselves properly might be able to adapt more easily than someone who must uproot a family in order to have room to WFT.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Coronavirus and natural disasters turning home ownership from dream to nightmare See in context

The Japanese are loathe to upgrade a fence, beautify a lawn, extend a deck or re-paint a room.

"Loathe" implies laziness which is unfair.

When do they have the time? Up until corona hit, home for many was mainly a place to sleep after a long day at the office. Then wake up early, rush to a train, rinse and repeat.

Also, interior home renovation is disruptive, most especially so in a small 1 or 2DKL where there's no space to shift things around while living in it during an always messy renovation. Yard maintenance, though enjoyed by some, isn't everyone's cup of tea. Do you really want a suburban Japan soundscape of lawnmowers and leaf blowers every weekend?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Dress more motherly? Japanese TV talent, single mom Kuran rejects criticism of revealing photos See in context

Japan is a culture that unconsciously adopts a uniform even when it's not strictly required. Riding a train you can immediately ascertain which age group a person fits into, their socio-economic class, and whether they are country or city folk. Just as you can tell whether a group of men has come from a business meeting, a funeral or a wedding based on the color palette of their ties. This uniformity is much more noticeable and restrictive for women than it is for men whose suits are pretty much the same but for quality and price.

All my Japanese women friends have an innate sense of what they should wear appropriate to their age and what they should avoid. I never think about it. I never avoid a certain look or shade because it is "too young." They do. And they especially avoid clothes that are form-fitting or revealing. Normally a tank top like Kusakari's has a t-shirt under it. That Kusakari is getting nailed for her atypical style is no surprise.

14 ( +15 / -1 )

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