philly1 comments

I'm with you expat. Leave it to those who do it professionally and surpass any of my attempts at amateur imitation. Besides, preparation of Japanese food is far too fiddly. I don't particularly like to cook; I like to be fed.

A knowledgeable and compassionate response to a dark and most often hidden trauma, Lisa. In such cases some people opt to bury the remains in their yard and perhaps place a commemorative plant, stone or garden sculpture over it. However, someone living in an apartment complex will not have that option. A slightly darker observation: The municipal manual does not offer suggestions for disposal of this kind. Hospitals and clinics don't offer a service for this unfortunate circumstance either. Cremation is an option; however, it's expensive. I know a couple who kept the remains of a much wanted pregnancy in their freezer for many years as they had no way to deal with the physical aspect of their loss. Compassion and blessings to the parents and the unborn child.

If Trump demands for vote counts to stop, it should be in ALL places. If he want it to continue, it should be EVERYWHERE; not just in the states he is behind.

Trump cannot issue such a demand or have it obeyed in a democracy. The powers to carry out such orders are the powers of despots and dictators.

“I’m here to protect a peaceful protest,” said Keith Owen, who carried a black, semiautomatic assault rifle and wore a handgun in a holster strapped to his leg. His vest held extra ammunition. He described himself as a veteran who served in Afghanistan and now lives in Arizona.

Such "protection" is not the responsibility of citizen vigilantes.

... if this continues, stronger measures may be required.

Don't you mean stronger suggestions may be made?

“The votes will be counted and you will either win or lose,'' Kinzinger told Trump. "And America will accept that. Patience is a virtue.''

America might, but I doubt that Trump will. As for any virtues he might have, patience isn't one of them. THis is a man who thinks he can grab this election just as he does any little kitten he fancies.

In addition to suggestions in the article and those offered in the comments, I would also recommend hypnosis. There are numerous channels and practitioners who provide excellent, FREE content on YouTube that might be helpful to some.

While I can't recommend any specific channels in Japanese, I do like Marisa Peer, Thomas Hall and Michael Sealy. However, individuals respond differently to different voices in addition to background soundscapes and may need to experiment before finding a solution. Any search engine will provide thousands of options.

Many people also find Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping) helpful in addressing not only insomnia but also anxiety. If interested, people could start with NIck Ortner's channel and/or app.

Sweet dreams.

@ Reckless, I have no idea what the male Book of Beta is.

I am in a gloriously happy, strong and autonomous place, and I know of what I speak.

If women are slinking back it's likely out of fear of being alone rather than any misdemeanor on their part. It takes two and both have to give and take to succeed in a marriage.

But women (most especially in Japan) are culturally conditioned to think that they are of no worth whatsoever without a man, and that they'd better snag one and keep him before they're (stale) 25. And more often than not, Japanese men relate to women as the character Botchan does. From a point of male privilege and emotional neglect while expecting service and loyalty.

But your back is still being chilled by the 15 degrees outside the kotatsu, even with multiple layers on. Not ideal to be sitting around plumped out like the Michelin Dough Boy or wearing gloves to keep your hands warm in your own home.

Having known it both ways, insulation & central heating are infinitely superior to suffering winters in Japan.

Unless she repents and pleases him better and regularly in the bedroom. I suggest probation because I believe in redemption.

Or: Unless he repents and shows his respect and appreciation for her in ways that count (such as sharing responsibility for domestic duties, offering a foot or back rub without expectations of benefits, listening to her concerns or going out into restorative nature or an onsen together regularly--use your imagination). I suggest an attitude adjustment because I can predict that expecting her to add pleasure in the bedroom to her current list of domestic burdens is the easiest way to turn her off. Fair warning.

How about bringing in laws that force builders to insulate every home and workplace they build.

Eeehhhh? Bringing change to Japan? How many millennia of meetings and pre-meeting meetings might that require? After that, enacting a law that is not compulsory, but merely a suggestion (so as not to impinge on the rights enshrined in the Constitution).

Yes, please. Everyone stop with the "new normal" Newspeak.

Since protocols sometimes change, call it the "current corona/covid protocols" or the "current pandemic protocols" or even "current health protocols." There is nothing "new" about the level of hygiene necessary to avoid contagion, or behaviours that avoid the spread of contagion to others.

Don't blow your nose in public.

It's much less gross to pick it. Eating it optional.

...my Japanese instructor told me in an admonishing tone that we had likely drunk over 10,000 yen worth of tea.

Let the instructor admonish all they want. This is not on you. If the cultural norm is to select as guest of honour someone who is very likely unfamiliar with the nuances of the tea ceremony as well as ask that guest to make decisions about the tea service instead of the host; then the responsibility for the cost of the tea is 100% on the host.

But that's the culture in Japan. As a non-Japanese you're left in the dark, put in the position of making mistakes, and chastised afterwards for predictable errors that could have been avoided entirely. Instead, you're shamed. Your sensei would know that you might lack basic knowledge about the ceremony. You ought to have been given all the information you needed to be a polite guest by your sensei before taking part. No shame required. But then no one could enjoy the confirmation of how boorish non-Japanese people are.

My first impression as well, Oxycodin. Looks like a prison visit without room for the guard.

Being self-employed, I've always worked at home with a real desk, large keyboard, big screen and comfortable chair.

Being self-employed you probably selected a home that would accommodate the accoutrements required to do your work comfortably. However, those who normally commute from a miniscule apartment will likely be sitting at table or kotatsu which are not designed for or suited to long hours at an office. They likely won't have enough space for a proper work station. Add a partner, toddlers, a dog and perhaps a parent or two and the complexities of WFH increase drastically.

A single person who can find other accommodation and outfit themselves properly might be able to adapt more easily than someone who must uproot a family in order to have room to WFT.

The Japanese are loathe to upgrade a fence, beautify a lawn, extend a deck or re-paint a room.

"Loathe" implies laziness which is unfair.

When do they have the time? Up until corona hit, home for many was mainly a place to sleep after a long day at the office. Then wake up early, rush to a train, rinse and repeat.

Also, interior home renovation is disruptive, most especially so in a small 1 or 2DKL where there's no space to shift things around while living in it during an always messy renovation. Yard maintenance, though enjoyed by some, isn't everyone's cup of tea. Do you really want a suburban Japan soundscape of lawnmowers and leaf blowers every weekend?

Japan is a culture that unconsciously adopts a uniform even when it's not strictly required. Riding a train you can immediately ascertain which age group a person fits into, their socio-economic class, and whether they are country or city folk. Just as you can tell whether a group of men has come from a business meeting, a funeral or a wedding based on the color palette of their ties. This uniformity is much more noticeable and restrictive for women than it is for men whose suits are pretty much the same but for quality and price.

All my Japanese women friends have an innate sense of what they should wear appropriate to their age and what they should avoid. I never think about it. I never avoid a certain look or shade because it is "too young." They do. And they especially avoid clothes that are form-fitting or revealing. Normally a tank top like Kusakari's has a t-shirt under it. That Kusakari is getting nailed for her atypical style is no surprise.

This frustratingly precise linguistic bullying [from Japanese to non-Japanese] is helping improve my pronunciation. But katakana English in the classroom is fine, no problem, close enough.

So true, Borscht. This is also true of traditional artforms which non-Japanese wish to learn. The classes move along advancing students according to their place in the hierarchy. However, the non-Japanese student has no standing in the hierarchy. As a result, their true achievement often goes unacknowledged or is put down in "frustratingly precise" and horrifically picky ways. The downside of shaming cultures.

The important concept that only in Japanese is clear and the Japanese people understand the nuance of real meaning in the language.

Ishii-san, since when has the Land of Rising Ambiguity laid claim to clarity? Also, just because the Japanese are nodding does not mean that they understand--even in Japanese. I can't tell you how often I have been told that something is too difficult to explain or told that they don't know most especially when things get nuanced.

And yes, I am well aware "too difficult" also means "I don't wish to" or "I am too lazy to bother telling or giving you informing I don't want you to have". Tricky as you point out l. Right you are, Ishii. However such attempts at trickery are often clumsily transparent. Don't assume that every non-Japanese has no idea.

Still, without equal proficiency in the language there's no way to offer a comeback or counter argument. It's like playing tennis flat-footed. No question. You lose. Obfuscation = acquiescence which in Japanese is as good as a "yes." But be aware: Compliance from non-Japanese can also mean a singular digit held in your face.

the court should have ordered him to pay the store.

That or have to clean and disinfect the store for his probation. Prison seems harsh, but perhaps the law does not allow for a hefty fine as a deterrent instead of jail time. Yet in other instances involving stalking or sexual harassment the courts look the other way. The world gets crazier by the minute.

Japan has done an excellent job so far at keeping deaths low, why doubt now?

Japan isn't verifying or keeping accurate data on covid deaths. The actual numbers are unknown.

Hopefully Trump won't hear about this and start recommending people inject themselves with persimmon juice.

He'll turn a darker shade of orange.

 I feel quite sure that spending one's dying days at home, instead of sunk down in a hospital bed, will have brought great relief.

It can. However, that's not a certainty. It presumes having family members. Enough family members to take on the work involved. Not all people do.

People needing palliative care may require numerous different medications to manage pain as well as the proximity of a washroom to the patient's bed, the ability of the family members and caregivers or slings to do the proper lifting, all the required extra laundry, bathing and so much more.

Both my parents ended their days in hospice care with competent professionals deftly managing their needs in ways that I could never match. I simply do not have that skill set. I barely know my way around a stick on plaster.

Because I had the hospice option I was free to spend quality time at their bedsides in beautifully appointed rooms with every amenity I could want for my own comfort and solace as well. Both passed peacefully as a result. All that for less than $30 a day. Brilliant. (O Canada!)

Any sensible person would let children see a dying father.

Not necessarily. To do that or waive the rules to attend a funeral that can't be rescheduled to accommodate the quarantine period means that numerous people are needlessly exposed in highest risk scenarios--closed indoor spaces. Many of those are the frontline workers caring for those who are hospitalized. Then there are all the restaurants and hotels and family homes visited by out of state visitors which are higher risk environments.

I wish our provincial governments had been stricter about it and required all visitors entering the provinces to quarantine. It would cut down on any unnecessary travel--particularly Americans who are permitted to travel through parts of Canada in order to get to Alaska. Too many of them have used this exception to vacation in parts of Alberta and British Columbia. I would have preferred that they be escorted to a military facility and kept there until cleared and monitored with chip devices until they have crossed into Alaska and the same on their return. It would encourage them to fly on their own airlines.

Frankly, though quarantine is a nuisance and a burden (I experienced it when I returned to Canada from Japan in April), if it mitigates the risks for others I can live with it. People would do well to cultivate a Buddha mind: If your mind is level the whole world is level. That holds true even when your little entitled world tilts.

This is the same person who said, "Canceling the 2020 Olympics is 'unthinkable”'....

Ah yes. A reminder of this statement provided a wry chuckle to start the day. How ironic, perhaps even unique, that so many things quite easily thinkable elsewhere remain unthinkable in Japan. Still, the 'unthinkable' happens in spite of everything. Perhaps it's time to think again. Think at all. Whatever fits.

Hmmm. I would suspect that he might be one of the Japanese men all too frequently observed not washing his hands after using the toilet. If so this mid-corona environment is going to be foreign territory and culture shock for our man Kento.

His wife, who stays home to care for the children, cook the meals and do the domestic side of things, seems to have a better handle on the reality of the pandemic situation and will likely have spent additional energy sanitizing and protecting her family. Then he waltzes in with a never-you-mind attitude and destroys (read devalues) all her conscientious efforts.

If after all this these months of new corona life the 57 year-old has been unable to adapt to a few basic up-ticks in his game to protect his wife and children, then the problem rests with him. He can't deal with his briefcase (which can be sanitized easily enough) and he can't deal with a door knob and the clothes and the other relatively small, considerate things he needs to do to protect his family. Really?

This man is not harassed. He is inconsiderate of others beyond belief. Is his name Botchan not Kento?

Exactly, Nippori Nick. A person can be a multitude of things. Often that's what exceptional people are--multifaceted in their gifts.

Frankly, I don't expect smiles from Japanese cashiers and clerks and other low-paid personnel. Just as I don't expect hugs and handshakes. Give me a genuine grouch if that's all they've got on that day. I can empathize with that and try to make the transaction a little less soulless.

When a smile is given as part of an interaction, if perhaps I've done something to connect with or uplift the spirit of someone offering me a service, it means so much more.

Not helpful to those who had to leave the country and had to give up their resident visa in order to renew their passport before expiry in their country of origin. The Embassies that normally handle these matters with ease were closed and overseas mail could not move between countries.

Some of these are people whose spouses remained in Japan. They're now forced to return on a tourist visa. Good work, Japan.