Simian Lane comments

Posted in: Japan braces for Trump assault on trade, yen policy as summit looms See in context

Asia is better off without America then. Might as well tell Trumpy to sling his hook, and South Korea, China, Japan and co can all kiss and make up and form the A.U.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Posted in: Abe asks Moon to visit Japan before inter-Korean summit See in context

Abe, ‘ Fly me to the Moon. Immediately.’

-5 ( +3 / -8 )

Posted in: 2 Peach plane tires blow out after landing in Fukuoka See in context

POP POP tssssssssssssssssssssssssss

-3 ( +1 / -4 )

Posted in: Many Japanese travel to Philippines to study English See in context

You’d massively struggle to find any Filipino who speaks English as well as I do.

-3 ( +7 / -10 )

Posted in: Japan's jobless rate at lowest in nearly 25 years See in context

Indeed, these articles are pointless unless they describe what kind of new jobs people are working, and on what level of pay. By saying jobs are up alone, a rosy picture is painted, but what if that increase in jobs is accounted for mainly by miserable minimum wage slog jobs? That said, a job is a job, and I still think having one, even if it’s shitty, is better than not having one at all.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Posted in: Elderly couple found dead in apparent murder-suicide See in context

If the husband desired it, or they both came to an agreement that this is how it was going to end, I don’t see much wrong. May they both Rest In Peace. Die and let die, so to speak.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: 3rd man arrested after woman's severed head found in Hokkaido See in context

There’s very little crime here, but the violent crime there is, is done by quite a few psychopaths.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Posted in: One in four young Japanese adults say love is a pain in the butt See in context

Love is a pain in the butt. There’s a song in there somewhere.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: Beyond death and pain: The truth about Japan's 'suicide forest' See in context

Suicide Forest is a bit hard on the stomach. They should rename it Forest of the Skulls and Swirling Souls.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Posted in: Japan warns May on Brexit: 'We cannot continue in UK without profit' See in context

Let’s be honest. If all the Japanese companies in the UK suddenly packed up and left, that would make one hell of an interesting news story. Go for it CEOs! The perfect accompaniment to my toast and milky coffee.

2 ( +8 / -6 )

Posted in: Japan's antismoking plan with gaping loophole sparks outcry See in context

Can we ban all cars in cities too while we’re at it, and pedestrianize all streets in the center of Tokyo. Whilst I might sound like I’m being facetious, I can assure you I’m not. I’m just sick of breathing second hand car fumes while I walk around. It’s possibly killing me.

-2 ( +9 / -11 )

Posted in: We'd be 10 times happier if we could only learn how to rest See in context

Dude didn’t get to Africa and back in 64hours, surely..who goes there for just a weekend!

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: Text of Trump's State of the Union address See in context

Rousing speech,especially the part when the Korean guy waved his crutches. Trump is re-igniting a fierce wave of US patriotism round right about now.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

Posted in: Peruvian man charged with 6 murders enters no plea See in context

One of the most deranged crimes in Japan that I can remember. Mental health issues or not, surely for the peace of mind of the victim’s relatives, this guy should be disposed of as swiftly as possible.

-3 ( +4 / -7 )

Posted in: Tokyo experiences coldest day in 48 years See in context

It may be -4 but it certainly isn’t the coldest day I’ve felt here by any stretch. When you add in winter wind or rain, that is when the weather can really start to bite.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Posted in: At least 33 human skulls found in western Mexico, official says See in context

Wow that’s what happens when you behead at least 33 people and bury them.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Posted in: Chopstick anxiety: Painfully shy Japanese diners struggle with communal restaurant containers See in context

Here’s an idea. Confront and seek help even for freakishly overly shyness. I wish you all the best with it.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Whither rock? Beyonce, Eminem to headline Coachella See in context

If you are into heavy rock, this lineup completely blows.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Man kills father, injures mother in knife attack See in context

When questioned by police, he was quoted as saying, “I have nothing to say right now.”

Take all the time you like. Trust me, there’s no hurry.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Hamleys opens its largest toy store in Beijing amid Christmas debate See in context

Christmas is Cancelled, Comrades!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Line to start bike-sharing service in Japan with Chinese firm See in context

If they paint the bikes LINE green may as well shoot me now.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Man's body found at yakuza office in Tokyo’s Akasaka district See in context

I sense this might be mafia related..

10 ( +10 / -0 )

Posted in: Land ownership mysteries in aging Japan stifle economy See in context

On the plus side, all this unclaimed land laying bare will be out of reach from all the greedy real estate fatcats.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Posted in: 8-year-old girl injured after man sprays her face with liquid See in context

Who does that..

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: SDF rangers join citizens to clean Himeji Castle See in context

They look like ToyStory soldiers in that pic.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Japan hangs 2 inmates; first executions since July See in context

Too much debate is given to the method in which they are dispatched. If the crime is as despicable as these two were, all rights are forefeited.

-4 ( +6 / -10 )

Posted in: Japan hangs 2 inmates; first executions since July See in context

How can they see the red square if they’re blindfolded?

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Posted in: Six N Korean crew members to be deported See in context

how bout feed them head first to some higuma and send the video file to Kim attached to an e-xmas card.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: Search resumes for missing 3-year-old boy in Fukui See in context

Hope the boy is alive. Stranger Things have happened.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: More bodies, boats believed to be N Korean, wash up on Japan's coast See in context

Becoming all too common now. We need some of those Baywatch staff with the red thingymajigs running up and down that stretch of West coast.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

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