strongboss comments

Very interesting to see that someone visited my home country and experienced similar feelings to what I've felt myself here in Japan. Indeed, based on the conversations I've had with my other foreigner friends here, you could have reversed the article to be about foreigners in Japan, and most of it would still make plenty of sense to me (minus the part about Japanese being known for politeness, of course).

Clearly some number of people took advantage of the author at some point, most likely because her generosity seemed to be a weakness. As many said, this can happen easily in any country, but I think people know how to avoid it much better when among people of their own culture. You learn to recognize and avoid being generous to the types of people who might respond negatively to it. Perhaps if I were Japanese I would know better than to put myself in those positions here, and likewise if the author was a US native. These sort of problems happened to a Japanese friend of mine when she was in the US as well, but when she described to me how these things would happen, they were situations I've never had any problem avoiding as a native. It reflects bad on US culture as a whole, because the people involved in those situations, in her case, were probably some of the worst 1% of people living there. I always keep that in mind when I am preyed upon here in Japan due to my own naivety.

Overall, I agree that you need to put up a bit more guard and use more caution at certain times when in the US. It's not that the average person is any less generous or reciprocal of generosity, but as you approach the "a-hole" end of the spectrum, there are more who will go as far as they can get when it comes to take, take, take, take, and they often get very creative in how they go about doing so. You're much less likely to be majorly scammed by businesses here in Japan, for example.

I would like to mention that there are definitely certain situations where people in Tokyo tend to be far less kind/generous to strangers in comparison to those I know back home. For example...when the staff majorly screws up your order at restaurant, makes you wait far too long for something, or some other mistake....back in the US once they realize what happened, especially if they can see that you are mildly displeased by the experience, they will offer you a discount or most of the time just give you part of your meal for free. That sort of treatment is a rarity here, from what I've seen. Very much cultural too that they feel they must adhere to the rules of business, regardless of how generous they might feel like being. Sometimes they won't even apologize here unless you directly complain about it, which can be shocking in some contexts.

People on the street are often NOT generous about making space for you to walk past them, even in comparison to similarly crowded places in the US. Some of them quite obviously expect you to move out of the way for them, and I've even had them run into me while I am actually STOPPED and not even moving, because I stopped upon realizing it was impossible to safely step out of their way. Clearly the more generous behavior is to consider what the others around you are doing, and occasionally sacrifice your own optimal path of movement for something that works better for the group around you.

My last complaint about selfish behavior here is peoples' ability to form lines and not try to push/cut ahead of each other. When there is a line, there's little problem, and people seem to respect it quite well for the most part. But if there is no line, rather than form an informal line (as often happens where I come from), people just walk up and get as close to the front of the mob as they can, totally ignoring others who were obviously waiting longer. It's a bad feeling to watch some guy stroll up, butt in, and order right in front of everyone else, when he has to know what he just did. I've seen this phenomena occur a lot in certain parts of Europe, and especially so in other parts of Asia as well.

Oh, and one more... If you're in line at the supermarket and you just want to buy one little thing, like a bottle of water.... back home, people with big carts full of stuff will very often notice you standing there waiting with your tiny purchase, and they will offer to let you go ahead of them in line. That sort of public generosity is just way way less likely to happen here. Although compared to most of Asia, Japan is much better in this regard.

Without a proper bike lane wide enough for bikes to pass one another, forcing bikes to the road will surely cause more serious injuries. Ever noticed what happens when you have a lot of bikes near each other on the road? They occupy quite a lot of space constantly passing each other, particularly because of all the illegally parked cars who might open their doors at any time. Many cars feel they own that space, and some will end up mowing down a few bikers as a result. As someone who rides a lot of road every day, when I see an obasan riding super slow in the street, I always think about how much safer she would be to get her slow ass out of the road and onto the sidewalk where she belongs.

As for the problems we all hate on the sidewalk... Perhaps if we could somehow educate people to share the limited amount of space more appropriately, things could be far better. This is really something they should be teaching repeatedly throughout elementary and high school education here. "How to walk safely", "How to bike safely", etc.

I agree there are lots of idiot bikers around who engage in some of the most risky behavior of anyone involved, as most of us have experienced firsthand while walking. However, certainly a fair number of accidents occur between bikes and pedestrians where it's the pedestrian's fault as well. Personally I am a hyper-aware, cautious, and safe bike rider who prefers to stay in the street when possible. However, there are times and places where the sidewalk is a better or safer option, so I have experience with that as well. I've never collided with any pedestrians while biking, but have had some close calls. In every one of those close calls, despite my cautious biking, entirely unnecessary, unaware, erratic, and unpredictable behavior of pedestrians was a major factor.

People here really need to spend a bit more time thinking about what is going on around them, and how to behave in a way that prevents chaos. Regardless of how busy a sidewalk is, there's never anything to be gained by weaving back and forth while walking. Walking straight, parallel to the where the sidewalk takes you, however, increases your chances of not being the next victim. If people would stay to the left when not passing each other, for example, sidewalks could be much safer. Marking a bike lane in the sidewalk is also a great idea if the police would enforce it. The rule should just say, stay in your part of the sidewalk unless passing. That alone would have prevented most of the close calls I've had on the sidewalk. I'm not going to ring my bell the entire time I'm riding past endless crowds of people, and while I do reduce my speed, I'm still going to be moving faster than walkers, and if they decide to jump right in front of me at the last second without looking, I may not be capable of avoiding the accident. And what's up with people who literally just leap out of conbinis, etc., right into the middle of the sidewalk without looking at all? Especially on really busy streets that see lots of bike traffic, it's common sense to move more slowly when coming around a corner, or injecting yourself right into the middle of a heavily used bike pathway. As a biker, I stay away from the building side of the sidewalk whenever possible to avoid those incidents, but shockingly, sometimes people charge out of business so quickly, and not just onto the sidewalk near the door, but all the way across to the far side of the sidewalk, which of course is where the fastest bikes tend to be riding.

Common sense, people! Can we not just use it? Really makes me sad when I see women with strollers or bikers with babies engaging in such risky movement. Some women will literally just shove their stroller out into a street or sidewalk so quickly, without first glancing to see if the coast is clear. I don't have a baby, but if I did, I would protect it far more than I protect myself, and I wouldn't insert myself into a busy pathway like that without looking first!

And the selfishness of people here when it comes to making space for others! Why do so few find it not rude to walk or bike side by side with their friends without ever breaking their formation so someone can get by? Do their parents never comment on this while they're growing up? Clearly it's very inconsiderate of others, yet they either don't realize it or don't care. This disrespect for everyone else around is one of my least favorite things about Tokyo. Strangers are people too! No, really!

Oh, and you wanna know one reason why I don't use my bell even when it seems like it would be a nice idea? If I'm coming up behind someone, and need to pass on one side of them in a fairly narrow space...you would think ringing the bell is proper courtesy, so they can know someone is about to pass through the narrow space next to them. That is simply not a wise thing to do here, because many will react to the bell by jumping to the side, right into what was obviously the best area for a bike to pass them! It's crazy, you're ringing the bell to let them know you're about to ride through that space, and they respond by unpredictably jumping into it! Things like "don't make any sudden movements when you hear a bike ring its bell" need to be taught in school. So yeah, for their safety and mine...best thing to do is just slowly pass by and not ring the bell.