syzyguy comments

Posted in: Japan, 2 other Asian nations warn citizens not to use marijuana in Canada See in context

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=YowSrN69UFM&t=267

here is Prime Minister Trudeau last week speaking at my old high school on why Canada decided to legalize.

i remember sitting in that very auditorium, stoned out of my gourd while watching a kid on stage eat a goldfish for 5 bucks. good times... or maybe the entire thing was hallucinated since marijuana makes you see imaginary things!?!?!?!

5 ( +8 / -3 )

Posted in: Japanese space agency to build manned lunar craft See in context

the canadian exploration vehicle will be made out of hockey sticks and adhered together with hockey tape. it's top speed will be entirely dependent on how fast the person in front of the vehicle can sweep the Moon's surface clear.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Princess Mako's parents told boyfriend, mother to solve financial issue: source See in context

no woman is worth this level of scrutiny on personal family affairs. if there is anything that drunkenly trawling the streets at night has taught me, it's that women will either be interested or not, there is no need to force it. then again, i didn't have a million dollar payday waiting for me at the other end of the it...

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: 3-year-old boy falls to his death from 6th floor of condo See in context

Condo's and apartment buildings also need to start putting up nets

It probably would have been cheaper and more effective if they had just put up a net around that mother's uterus.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Posted in: Australian police seize 1 ton of cocaine, arrest 15 men See in context

"It is for personal use, I swear."

5 ( +7 / -2 )

Posted in: Keep your smartphone clean See in context

Nothing more satisfying than spreading a bunch of airborne fecal bacteria on your phone... bonus points for holding the phone with the same hend you just wiped with

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Posted in: Ex-husband of singer Noriko Sakai arrested again for drug possession See in context

Why does he not just move to Holland?

If the guy likes shabu methamphetamines, which it sounds like he does, Japan has some of the purest in the world thanks to North Korean imports. Holland has Japan beat with most drugs but definitely not ice.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Hollywood in shock over Trump victory See in context

The saddest celebrity in all this is Kate Mckinnon. She's the only one that legitimately had something to lose from the outcome.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: Face me See in context

if the cost of your halloween costume exceeds the value of the free candy you receive, you've failed at halloween

might as well just buy a half dozen bags of candy and cut out the middle man...

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: Finding a half decent gym in Japan: A survival guide See in context

power rack with dips, pullup bar and lat pulldown - 70000

180kg weights - 20000

bench - 16000

wood flooring with rubber truck mats - 5000

working out naked at home with the sweet sultry sounds of roy ayers playing loudly in the background - priceless

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Critics question economic impact of Abe's maglev decision See in context

Great.. so while millions schlep to Tokyo on overcapacity trains for 70 minutes, a select few will be breezing in from Osaka in less time. Or best case scenario, this train alleviates the urban sprawl and with nature taking its course on the aging populace dignity will be restored to the daily commute.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: The key to loving Japanese TV if you're a foreigner See in context

a lot of tv in any country is garbage... but once you find the gems, they can be great entertainment during dinner with a beer.

in my mind, what makes Japanese tv enjoyable is how the comedians are able to riff off one another spontaneously. there's a certain rhythm to the way that comedians work in their jokes and though i'm sure a lot of it is pre-planned and made more snappy with clever editing, the fact remains that they aren't usually doing multiple takes of the same jokes to try and get the one that lands best like they do with most scripted comedy shows.

doesn't it tend to be the people who don't make attempts to make jokes that criticise those who do? i can appreciate anyone who makes someone try to laugh since one of the hardest ways to be funny is to actually try and be funny. when a japanese comedian bombs, that adds to the naturalness of the program and can also make it funnier watching them squirm as a result. and when a joke hits it's mark, there's a certain magic to it that can't be found in scripted comedy.

a lot of "konto" sketches are absolutely abysmal and are often based on wackiness but the ones that are more grounded in truth like "Suberanai Hanashi" are hilarious.

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

Posted in: Which professions do you think are recession-proof? See in context

Sadly not. The recession increases supply (more women who need money) and reduces demand (fewer men with money to spend).

Just because someone manages a whore house doesn't mean they don't understand basic economics. Supply increases and demand shrinks... so they lower the prices and the business is back on track.

-3 ( +1 / -4 )

Posted in: Helping hands See in context

Carbs, carbs and deep fried carbs. If my house was flooded, I'd rather take my chances scrounging up some wild berries and catching the fish that were washed inland than eat that filler.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Posted in: What do you think are some of the main differences between the way Japanese and Western media report the news? See in context

in the west, the television news uses someone who is somewhat involved with the story to offer an educated viewpoint while in Japan they use planted unionized actors to read off prepared lines while pretending that they just happened to be wandering around the street near the news crew. these comments supposedly express the thought of the Japanese everyman but are really methods to control the narrative from going beyond a superficial level.

American news typically uses dramatic music and exaggerates risks to keep you in a state of fear which primes you for being brainwashed by the propaganda they spout and more susceptible to purchasing the products being advertised that much easier...

so they are similar in the sense that they both employ mass media as tools for herding sheeple...

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Posted in: Five detained over China Uniqlo sex tape See in context

Those detained include the couple suspected of shooting the video—showing a mostly clothed man and a naked woman apparently having sex—

wait a minute... so if he was mostly clothed how was he.... ohhhhhh I get it.

-3 ( +1 / -4 )

Posted in: Japanese soccer fans turn to drink as Nadeshiko sink See in context

Sometimes you have to drink the pain away.

I can wholly understand medicating with alcohol but why are some people drunk before the match even starts and plastered by the time half time rolls around?

When I want to watch something entertaining that needs some level of analysis, alcohol detracts from the enjoyment as all the subtleties of the skill involved and story being told is lost. Is it because the only way for soccer's languid pace to be remotely tolerable is to dull the senses?

On top of that, the odds of you leaving satisfied (with your team winning) is 50/50, so why waste a good buzz on something where the outcome is undetermined? I'd rather get hammered with people whose mood doesn't hinge upon the goings on of an electric box.

The athletes themselves are (usually) not drunk, so if I'm going to support the team/individual and live vicariously through them, it feels most cathartic being in as close of a mind state as possible to the participants... but maybe that's just me...

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: Japan joins U.S.-Australia war games amid China tensions See in context

New Zealand population: 4.4 million, Personnel involved: 500 Japan population: 128 million, Personnel involved: 40

What a joke. Sending that many forces is about the same as not participating at all. Either Japan was asked to participate and couldn't be bothered to devote any actual manpower to it or Japan asked to participate and was forced to limit their numbers since they'd get in the way. Either way, it's pathetic.

Not that I think militarism is the right way to spend tax money...

Unmanned gundam mechs I could go for however...

7 ( +9 / -2 )

Posted in: Macho man idol group makes their debut in Shibuya See in context

@cleo I don't see how all that beefcake is 'manly'.

i see what you're saying but no one is out there getting swole lifting 100+kgs for your benefit.

there is a specific segment of women that find muscular men attractive. typically they are young, alpha females with no attachments, sexually liberated attitudes, ultra-feminine and who need a partner that displays the same dominant characteristics that they do.

A manly man is one who gets his (normal, not Mr. Universe overkill) muscles from gardening and/or DIY, lifting toddlers onto his shoulders and carrying heavy shopping bags for his lady/mother/neighbour.

you don't get muscles from gardening or carrying heavy shopping bags. you're lucky if that minor level of exertion will even let you keep the muscles you already have, seeing as how men typically lose muscle at a rate of 1% per year once they turn 30. plus, if you work out... those shopping bags are considered light.

what makes you the arbiter of what constitutes a manly man? i'm sure there are plenty of people who would take offense if i said that a womanly woman cooks, cleans and doesn't talk back. assessing people's value within narrow categories is neither true or fair.

Seeing that it takes them way more time and effort doing stuff like body sculpting, dieting and posing in tiny briefs than your average herbivore spends on doing his hair & nails and choosing his wardrobe, I don't see that one is any less narcissistic than the other - they're just at opposite ends of the same spectrum.

don't you think it's myopic for someone who spends their time typing out replies on a forum to be criticizing others for how they spend their time? why frame your view of these people using the pejorative "narcissist" to describe something which could easily be equated with a trait that is universally attractive, the more positive connotation of "self-esteem"?

the benefits of being in shape are not just aesthetic but also include prolonging lifespan, increasing bone density and improved cognition due to neurogenesis. the reduction in stress and deeper sleep also makes you more effective and resilient at your job.

these macho men are undoubtedly going to make terrible music but if they can get people to take exercise more seriously then me and my health care subsidizing biceps are all for it.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: Phallus Festival See in context

Is that a condom on top?

it appears to be a curtain... made of beef, perhaps?

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

Posted in: Japanese women list top 10 lies they can spot the second a guy says them See in context

Here are some lies Japanese women say that I can spot immediately:

here's a few more that have set off my BS detector...

I've only had 3 cookies. I'll be ready in 20 minutes. / I'll be there at 8 o'clock. It won't fit. You're not going bald! / I actually like men with a little belly fat. I can drink a lot! / I can handle my alcohol. I'm sorry, the phone on my battery is dead and I don't know my number. All my friends say you're handsome. (okay maybe this one is true) You're the first gaijin I've ever dated. I don't mind if you ____ / It's not a problem.

in hindsight, it would seem some of these are not cultural specific...

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Posted in: Trust continues to plummet in Japan See in context

has anyone noticed how stores used to have the after tax prices listed but after the tax hike pretty much everywhere lists the pre-tax prices?

it's like businesses are trying to say "hey we know that you know the prices have gone up but let's continue giving you the illusion that things are less expensive because you like that warm fuzzy feeling of keeping your head buried in the sand, right?"

real trustworthy...

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Madonna takes a tumble at the Brit Awards See in context

the baphomet's probably distracted her...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: 'Golden horde' of Chinese shoppers descend on Japan See in context

Apparently the items currently in high demand at the stores are bidet-type toilets.

nice to know that no matter what cultural differences or historical tensions, we all like to have squeaky clean bums

8 ( +8 / -1 )

Posted in: What do you think are some of the worst music group or band names ever? See in context

Jason Mraz

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: The most annoying people you’ll meet at a Japanese fitness gym See in context

when i workout there's this one girl who is always commenting on how muscular my thighs are and stares at me intensely while i do squats but i suppose that's partially my fault since i take my pants off to prevent them from ripping

she also asks me what i want for dinner and to help find her cell phone charger sometimes but that's the price you pay when you have a gym at home...

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Lemongina from the Orangina brand See in context

I'd much prefer the Valencia Grapefruit flavoured beveraged... Valgina

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: 4 children in Fukushima test positive for possible thyroid cancer See in context

Electromagnetic radiation from prolonged cell phone usage has been linked to increased risk of Thyroid cancer as well... so don't go out buying hazmat suits to wear while you picket TEPCO offices with pitchforks and torches just yet

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Student arrested for placing rocks on train tracks in Ibaraki See in context

my quarry is if this guy has boulders for brains ore was just stoned?

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Posted in: Elegant couple See in context

i hope that smartphone camera has a smug reduction filter built into it

2 ( +4 / -2 )

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