COVID-19 INFORMATION What you need to know about the coronavirus if you are living in Japan or planning a visit.

syzyguy comments

Posted in: Piko Taro redesigns signature song as hand washing melody See in context

in all seriousness, this man is clearly operating on a level of genius not readily apparent to the rest of us.

when this whole pandemic thing is over, i'd like to shake his hand and god willing, maybe get a smell of his fingers.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: Line survey finds 7% of users in Tokyo have at least one coronavirus symptom See in context

this feels like a government coordinated test run of an emergency broadcast messaging system.

the results are not as important as establishing that the system works and users are compliant.

just in case... you know.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Posted in: Japanese comedian Ken Shimura dies from coronavirus-caused pneumonia See in context

random story.

years ago, a girl in a club asked me what i liked. i told her shimura ken. she asked me to tell a shimura ken joke. i refused multiple times. she insisted and wouldn't leave me alone.

so i looked at her deadpan and said "im thirsty for mango juice" in japanese... a classic shimura gag...

instantly she slapped me across the face and not in a joking manner.

i was confused but walked away.

later that night i was standing outside having a smoke and this girl was leaving... and as she walked up the stairs she tripped and fell upwards, not hard enough to hurt but enough to need to gather herself.

from the bottom on the stairs i yelled out a hearty nelson muntz HAH HAH... she turned around to see who it was. we made direct eye contact and both knew that balance was restored in the universe.

thanks for the laughs ken!

-3 ( +4 / -7 )

Posted in: Japanese comedian Ken Shimura dies from coronavirus-caused pneumonia See in context

i saw shimura kens soba skit a couple weeks ago with my wife and it was almost beat for beat the same skit he did 25 years ago that i watched with my grandparents when i was kid.

it was the first time my wife had seen the skit but i remembered each joke so more than being amused at the surprise jokes, i was wistfully thinking about how shimura san has been providing laughter in my home across generations.

better to burn out than fade away.

truly a legend. rest in peace.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Posted in: Doubts growing in Japan over Tokyo Olympics See in context

the politicians know that heads, specifically theirs, will roll if the olympics are cancelled.

the vultures are already circling abe... it's only a matter of time.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: What would an Olympics cancelation cost Japan? See in context

i'm sure many tears will be shed when the companies that thought they could game the system and take advantage of the corporate welfare handed out at the expense of the taxpayers crash and burn...

there are no trickle down economics from the olympics. the event only serves to enrich a specific subset of society. the athletes don't even get paid unless they win. 100000 brainwashed volunteers are exploited so the suits at the top can reap the rewards.

...whosoever diggeth a pit, shall fall in it.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Posted in: Japan's 1st female paratrooper See in context

good for her... i guess? obviously she is highly determined, extremely capable and undoubtedly reached her goal... of being another piece on the chess board?

i always thought women weren't in the military not due to physiological differences but moreso because on the whole they had enough common sense to understand that signing over your free will to do someone's else's dirty work was a raw deal.

so this is progress then, i suppose.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Posted in: Tokyo Marathon limited to elite runners over virus fears See in context

In the wise words of FDR... we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

rather than stressing out looking outwards at all the problems going on, this is a great opportunity to turn inwards to focus on the integration of habits that activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Store shelves stripped of toilet paper amid coronavirus fears See in context

looks like it's back to socks for me...

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Posted in: Japanese man accused of fatally stabbing girlfriend at Airbnb in California See in context

oh no... he's never going to get back the security deposit

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Posted in: No Plan B for Olympics; questions remain over Chinese presence See in context

there is no plan b because plan a is all about maximizing profits. plan b would involve additional costs (to a budget that has already quadrupled from initial estimates) as well as lost revenue, so it's off the table.

what the IOC neglects to realize is that this isn't about Japan anymore. this is about what happens when athletes and citizens from less developed countries who don't have the education, technology, experience or expertise in dealing with an unknown virus contract the disease and bring it back to their home countries. what then?

how many deaths are considered an acceptable level of collateral damage so that people can watch some other people run around a track and lifting heavy things?... 1 death is a tragedy but 1000 deaths is a statistic, right?

let's be honest here. the IOC is a corrupt organization. they take bribes, they take profits, they force host countries to play by their rules and then when the circus leaves town the IOC is nowhere to be seen helping clean up because it's already on to the next scam.

i didn't want the olympics here to start with. there was a stink attached to the event before it was even awarded and that festering stink keeps getting worse as the olympics approach. the IOC not getting their payday would be poetic justice.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: Tokyo, IOC officials reiterate that the Olympics are on See in context

so, the highest authority on who gets to decide if it's in the country's best interest to hold the games are the organizers of the games?

the feb 24th~ mobile world congress in spain is being cancelled due to the virus and this is double the distance from the epicentre compared with tokyo. it's all well and good if you extrapolate down over the next 5 months but if you extrapolate up, things are going to get ugly. burying your head in the sand isn't a contingency. there needs to be someone willing to pull the plug on this without a vested interest.

or is keeping corporations and the bankers they are indebted to the most important thing here?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Posted in: Billionaire Maezawa cancels search for lunar love despite 27,722 applicants See in context

hard to eat a burger when you're used to wagyu...

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Posted in: 5 Japanese evacuees from Wuhan taken to hospital; 2 have pneumonia See in context

the government would probably be wise to come up with some legal justification for quarantining people who show symptoms of the coronavirus before an extra half a million people from every continent show up en masse in 6 months...

then again, if i had 2 trillion yen tied up in an investment with such a limited window to recoup, i would probably keep my head buried in the sand until it's too late also.

what's the solution for a natural and environmental disaster costing an already heavily indebted government 20 trillion yen?

2 trillion more taxpayer yen spent on bread and games of course!

no worries... they can make back some of their money selling bat sandwiches.... and gluten-free fruit bat bowls for the vegans.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Actress Sawajiri admits taking illegal drugs for over 10 years See in context

this poor girl is Icarus. it gets boring living the privileged life for so long, you reach a point where you need a few chemical cocktails here and there to extract some more fun out of it...

but not to worry folks, the fun police is here, ready to arrest anyone having too much fun!

crabs in a bucket, i tell ya...

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Posted in: Kang, Kono trade barbs at ASEAN after Japan's decision to revoke S Korea's preferential trade status See in context

there is no reason to applaud the japanese government... really both governments are in the wrong here.

the only winners in this pissing match are the egos that have momentarily one upped their opponents.

the losers are the people of korea and japan who have their actual lives affected by these childish political games...

the settlements demanded by the supreme court of korea amounts to about 2 million US dollars. so the korean government would rather have this much damage done to their economy rather than just paying the victims themselves and telling them to move on?

similarly, the japanese government, is wasting this much time and effort over a million dollars, and some pride? why dont they just pay the koreans? 2 million dollars is an absolute bargain to have them shut up about it... instead, inconveniencing the livelihoods of many thousands of japanese who depend on exporting goods to korea is preferable?

whatever face that might have been lost in the eyes of the voters for capitulating to their "enemies" demands when this thing bubbled up 6 months ago is far less than the face they will lose when this brinksmanship runs its course

-17 ( +3 / -20 )

Posted in: HBO brings down curtain on TV phenom 'Game of Thrones' See in context

GOT is a global phenomenon because of the massive piracy of episodes, available in perfect quality 30 minutes after it airs... no one wants to pay for a bunch of garbage shows when they are only interested in one

i will be waiting until the entire season finishes airing so i can watch everything unfold in my own time...

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Posted in: Amazon drops New York headquarters plan amid protests See in context

i am guessing there were at least 2 dozen investors who bought up property in the area at marked up prices with the hopes that the land will be worth even more when amazon got up and running...

you win some you lose some eh

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Posted in: LDP adopts concise plan on constitutional revision at convention See in context

abe is nefarious but he's not stupid... well, at least not stupid enough to get into a war.

he needs article 9 changed so he can justify buying more american military goods and weapons. it's hard to prop up the MIC when you can only buy out of the defense catalogue.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Posted in: JR East mulls later train services during Tokyo Olympics See in context

@TigersTokyoDome ...sounds like your expertise on what constitutes a waste of time allowed you to avoid all that time wasted on reading the article

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Dual nationals feel cast adrift in Japan See in context

I have heard this before and still does not make sense to me. 

Good question. I am only familiar with Canada but upon landing the Canadian passport is used primarily for citizen identification. Canada recognizes dual citizenship so you just bring both passports with you and for immigration purposes they will stamp the passport used previously to exit the other country.

This requirement started in 2016, so before that I wouldn't even need to present a Canadian passport and would just check the box stating that I am a citizen while using my Japanese passport to enter.

It's probably different and more difficult with countries that don't recognize dual citizenship.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Posted in: Dual nationals feel cast adrift in Japan See in context

i still have both my citizenships... definitely makes going through Narita a lot smoother, though one time a female airport worker kept aggressively repeating "THIS LINE IS FOR JAPANESE PASSPORTS ONLY" in my direction louder and louder while I ignored her and waited in line.

sounds like the woman in the article is just butthurt because her father gave her some bad advice. the lawyer's comments at the end are correct, under normal circumstances without going through the formal process of renouncing your citizenship you will likely never run into a problem. when you are in country A use country A's passport, when you are in country B use country B's passport.

7 ( +14 / -7 )

Posted in: Japan, 2 other Asian nations warn citizens not to use marijuana in Canada See in context

here is Prime Minister Trudeau last week speaking at my old high school on why Canada decided to legalize.

i remember sitting in that very auditorium, stoned out of my gourd while watching a kid on stage eat a goldfish for 5 bucks. good times... or maybe the entire thing was hallucinated since marijuana makes you see imaginary things!?!?!?!

5 ( +8 / -3 )

Posted in: Japanese space agency to build manned lunar craft See in context

the canadian exploration vehicle will be made out of hockey sticks and adhered together with hockey tape. it's top speed will be entirely dependent on how fast the person in front of the vehicle can sweep the Moon's surface clear.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Princess Mako's parents told boyfriend, mother to solve financial issue: source See in context

no woman is worth this level of scrutiny on personal family affairs. if there is anything that drunkenly trawling the streets at night has taught me, it's that women will either be interested or not, there is no need to force it. then again, i didn't have a million dollar payday waiting for me at the other end of the it...

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Posted in: 3-year-old boy falls to his death from 6th floor of condo See in context

Condo's and apartment buildings also need to start putting up nets

It probably would have been cheaper and more effective if they had just put up a net around that mother's uterus.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Posted in: Australian police seize 1 ton of cocaine, arrest 15 men See in context

"It is for personal use, I swear."

5 ( +7 / -2 )

Posted in: Keep your smartphone clean See in context

Nothing more satisfying than spreading a bunch of airborne fecal bacteria on your phone... bonus points for holding the phone with the same hend you just wiped with

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Posted in: Ex-husband of singer Noriko Sakai arrested again for drug possession See in context

Why does he not just move to Holland?

If the guy likes shabu methamphetamines, which it sounds like he does, Japan has some of the purest in the world thanks to North Korean imports. Holland has Japan beat with most drugs but definitely not ice.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Hollywood in shock over Trump victory See in context

The saddest celebrity in all this is Kate Mckinnon. She's the only one that legitimately had something to lose from the outcome.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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