Young S Koreans giving up on marriage amid economic pressures

Dressed in a pure white wedding dress, Kang Dasom flashes a radiant smile at the camera.

"Wearing this has always been my dream," Kang, 30, says in a photo studio in Seoul, her voice bubbling over with enthusiasm. But the "partner" she is gazing fondly at beside her is not her husband-to-be, but instead her 6-year-old dog.

Kang is one of many young people today in South Korea who have chosen an unmarried lifestyle, believing that marriage is too much of a financial burden.

She believes that taking photos with her pet dog Kkong Kkong, who is also glamorously attired for the occasion, will give her confidence as she walks down the aisle of life by herself.

"I won't become anyone's wife or mother. But I pledge to become happy," Kang says.

With the many young people not marrying out of choice in South Korea, the birthrate is also declining at a precipitous rate.

According to a survey by the National Statistical Office, as of November 2023, 51 percent of people in their 30s were unmarried, approximately four times the rate in 2000. In the capital of Seoul, the ratio is above 60 percent.

Economic uncertainty is often cited as a main reason for the hesitancy to marry. It is common for people to purchase a new home when they get married, but real estate prices, especially in the Seoul metropolitan area, have been soaring.

South Korea's total fertility rate, which indicates the number of children a woman has during her lifetime, was above 4 until the early 1970s, but fell to 0.72 in 2023.

In 2024, the rate slightly increased for the first time in nine years to 0.75, but it remains the lowest in the world, much lower than Japan's record low of 1.20 in 2023.

Kang, who lives in Seoul, had envisioned a future of marriage and children until about five years ago.

However, she faced the stark reality of funding a wedding ceremony and buying a home among other constraints. The average South Korean wedding is said to cost 300 million won ($200,000), meaning many newlyweds start out married life heavily in debt.

Kang also has a dream of becoming a successful dancer and has come to believe that "remaining single is the way to go" to achieve her goal.

"I think we're in an age where the emphasis is not on the family unit but the happiness of the individual," she says.

Indeed, as Kang says, the values among the young generation are changing in South Korea.

The trend against marrying began to gain acceptance around 2016. This new way of life has taken root as women seek liberation from a male-dominated patriarchal system.

Some companies have even begun offering an "unmarried allowance" to eliminate the perceived inequality of monetary wedding gifts that are paid to employees who marry.

Jeong Ji Hyun, 32, a company employee, held a "non-marriage ceremony" for herself in 2023. She chose a gray pantsuit that matches her short hair. In front of about 40 invited guests at a restaurant she rented out, Jeong declared, "I promise to love myself forever."

Yearning for the newlywed experience of being blessed at a ceremony without the actual nuptials, she says, "I expressed my heartfelt wish that (the guests) support me."

Jeong feels suffocated by the traditional family structure rooted in Confucian vales, emphasizing hierarchical relationships, filial piety and the importance of family lineage.

The burden of housework and child care is still disproportionately placed on women, and she has witnessed female friends give up their careers because of the wage gap, with women earning substantially less than men, particularly among married couples.

"Marriage is a package vacation deal with options you don't want," Jeong says, biting her lip.

South Korea is facing major challenges as it tries to get young people to move back towards marriage and childbearing.

Urgency at addressing gender discrimination and economic insecurity is a key factor in the fight against declining birthrates, but little progress has been made.

South Korea is the only member of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development with a birthrate below 1.0.

In 2024, the number of babies born in South Korea fell 7.7 percent from the previous year to about 230,000, about half of what it was a decade earlier.

The total population is declining at an accelerating rate, and many experts are talking about the danger of the country's "disappearance." At the same time, its population is aging, and its distorted demographic structure is making it more difficult to see a promising future.

The words heard from unmarried young people, like Jeong, who bear the brunt of criticism for the country's rapidly declining population, are tinged with irony. "I think South Korea may disappear with our generation," she says.

© KYODO