If you frequent Japanese social media, you may have encountered a slang expression with a bittersweet meaning: bocchi (aloneness). You can find the word in expressions like bocchi nomi (drinking alone) and kuribocchi (alone on Christmas). People use "bocchi" to poke fun at themselves, express a genuine sense of isolation, or a little of both.
Japan widely enables bocchi culture. Living and eating out alone here are commonplace, with some restaurants even designed for eating in silence. Meanwhile, various forms of entertainment seek to replace real social connection with paid or virtual substitutes. Some people, especially nature lovers, even seem to be embracing the bocchi lifestyle with pride.
But behind the flippancy of bocchi culture is an epidemic of loneliness affecting up to 40% of Japanese people. Prolonged loneliness can lead to mental health struggles such as alcoholism, and foreigners contending with linguistic and cultural barriers are also at risk.
What is Bocchi Culture?
The word bocchi is short for hitoribocchi, from hitori (one person) and bocchi, a word said to derive from houshi (Buddhist priest). While these origins carry some fairly Zen connotations, the modern day word suggests a more pathetic kind of loneliness. Bocchi can be used to express sadness about being alone, but it can also be used in a humorous, self-deprecating way.
One popular example of bocchi’s more tongue-in-cheek usage is the term kuribocchi. The kuri is short for kurisumasu (Christmas). In Japan, Christmas Eve is not traditionally spent with family, but a romantic evening similar to Valentine’s Day. So referring to oneself as kuribocchi is a way of highlighting that you are dateless on this day of love. The word pops up frequently during the festive season as single Japanese people bemoan their lack of partner.
Bocchi can be worked into plenty of other expressions, too. Bocchi meshi (eating alone) bocchi ramen (eating ramen alone) and similar foodie examples are especially popular.
How does Japan Enable the Bocchi lifestyle?
Solo dining and enjoying the holidays without a partner are not unique to Japan. However, several elements of Japanese culture and infrastructure support and enable a solitary way of life.
In Japanese cities, single people tend to live alone. Sharing a home with friends or housemates is unusual, and living with a partner before marriage is less common. Even university students tend to find apartments by themselves when they leave campus dormitories rather than living with peers.
Loners in Japan are well-catered to in daily life. Most restaurant chains offer plenty of single-occupant counter seats, while private internet and manga cafe rooms are designed with individual customers in mind. Elsewhere, the country’s infamous host and hostess bars provide paid company in the absence of a genuine date.
Many forms of Japanese entertainment are also designed to appeal to lonely consumers. The Japanese idol industry encourages para-social relationships between artists and fans that can border on obsession. Online games known as dating sims, in which the player aims to woo a virtual love interest, are popular for both men and women. Such outlets provide a controlled substitute for the messy world of real-life romance.
It’s easy to see how these trends might lead to isolation for individuals who aren’t otherwise socially outgoing. As in many countries, the pandemic exacerbated this situation.
Foreigners and Loneliness
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6 Comments
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DanteKH
As always, Japanese tend to invent new words, for things that already have meanings established.
There is no "bocchi" culture. That's just the kawaii name of Introvertism, the appropriate name used by everyone else.
Which btw, not sure why JT keep promoting this like it's a good thing? Especially in a country with such a sharp population decline, overly shy people, Hikimoris, where people do not know how to interact one to another, etc.
finally rich
Eating in peace while watching a movie/youtube at a restaurant is a bliss, and completely acceptable in Japan (as long as its a big/chain restaurant and there are not other people waiting).
Problem is when you have a family you are never allowed to do this again, maybe once a month?
Along with bocchi cafes, there are also those places intended for lonely girls, that caters to a group of 1-2 girls max, you see the food pictures on Google Maps and decide to bring your family to try their dessert, just to be stared at by the staff the whole time, happy families are not welcome in these places, almost as if they need the atmosphere to remain as lonely as possible for their business to survive.
Moonraker
Or well exploited. Atomisation is a real consequence of the economic systems we have created which are destructive of community, and Japan has its own take on this, as do other places. This system has no interest in restoring life to its more meaningful connectedness at all, but is interested in exploiting the miserable consequences of the damage it causes. It's a theme repeated over and over. Exploiting the damage can even be called growth.
Joker AF
As a multi-neurdivergent person myself, I see so many parallels with young Japanese people's behaviour to being on the spectrum - being reserved and uncomfortable around a lot of people, uncomfortable with eye -contact, having your own special hobbies to focus on and preferring to be alone most of the time.
It's largely why I find Japan such a comfortable place to live. I can appreciate this lifestyle and I don't think it;'s unhealthy in any way, it's just a preference
David Merchant
Bocchi is not the kawaii name of Introvertism. I know that it can be difficult for an extrovert without social anxiety to get that. I can see how they can feel that way about introverts and think only introverts can be bocchi, but extroverts can be bocchi too.
Being an introvert does not mean being shy, avoiding relationships, being socially anxious, or being a hermit. Introverts just get drained by being around people and so need to spend some time to recharge. Notice the word: recharge. They recharge and then interact. Extroverts get energy from being around people. Introverts do not.
I am an introvert who is married, has friends, joins clubs, enjoys meeting new people, etc. But, yes, I also need my downtime to recharge. I am OK with peaceful days spent only with my wife, or quiet walks by myself by the river. I tend to leave parties early, but I do go to them and do enjoy interacting with friends and colleagues at them--I just run out of energy and like some quiet time with a good book, listening to music, taking a stroll, etc.
So, no, bocchi is not the kawaii name of introversion. Even extroverts can suffer from social anxiety. Yes, even extroverts can be bocchi.
This is one reason host and hostesses clubs exist—people with with social anxiety can pay for a social interaction, a pretend one that is limited and controlled; same with all the dating sims. You have extroverted bocchi become regulars at Maid cafes: surrounded by the noisy, chaotic interaction of people, a crowded place, some spend all day there (not an introvert kind of action), paying to have a cute girl entertain you, get yet another photo with that favorite one; safe for the social anxious because there are no reciprocal social/relationship demands or pressures—these fake social interactions are less anxiety producing and so they can safely get some needed social interaction, and though it is not quite a healthy replacement, for an extrovert with social anxiety, it's a balm.
Geeter Mckluskie
JT articles are mainly read by foreigners who either live in Japan or are interested in Japan. Many of the latter are introverts who enjoy finding a sense of community, vicariously with the introverts of Japan. The countless "population decline" articles are for people who like to remind us...