Derek Grebe comments

Posted in: Arctic could face another record hot year See in context

Don't worry about it. A man in a bad suit with his tie down to his balls and a face full of make up told me it was OK, and he knows all the best people so just fugeddaboudit, OK?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Posted in: Acting U.S. Defense Secretary Shanahan quits as reports emerge of family violence See in context

Chipstar: A lot of wife beaters around Donny. Wasn't he accused of being a wife beater?

As far as I know, he's not been accused of beating his wives and mistresses, but his first wife accused him of rape.

But you are right - for someone who claims he only hires the best people, he does seem to put a lot of slappy, grabby, boozy, punchy and stealy types on the payroll.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: FSA estimates couples need retirement savings of up to ¥30 mil See in context

Finance Minister Taro Aso, who doubles as minister for financial services

Wait - does he get a double paycheck for this? Because if he does, I just spotted a savings opportunity.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

Posted in: Japan chases 300 North Korean boats out of fishing grounds See in context

Hey Abe-kun - tell your fat friend in the White House to have a word with his fat friend in he boiler suit to put a stop to this.

You know, because you've carefully cultivated a position of such great influence, now would be a good time to use it.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Posted in: M6.7 quake strikes off northeast Japan; at least 26 injured See in context

"All nuclear power plants have reported no abnormalities," government spokesman Yoshihide Suga told reporters.

Well, of course they have. They were telling us the explosion at Fukushima was just steam for a week.

Don't expect any bad news to come out about nuclear through official channels. there's the State Secrecy Law to take care of that.

-1 ( +8 / -9 )

Posted in: Winners and losers in the 'papa-katsu' game See in context

“Why not turn my youth into a financial asset?”

I was skim-reading this article, and for a moment I read the word "mouth" instead of "youth".

Might not have been far wrong.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Nearly 50% of Japan's singles have no dating prospects: gov't survey See in context

half of singles in Japan who wish to get married are unable to find a suitable partner, with 61.4 percent of the group stating they are not doing anything to change the situation

And that's why nothing's going to change.

Doctor I'm too fat.

Would you consider eating fewer pies?


11 ( +12 / -1 )

Posted in: New bus automatically stops upon detecting if driver is ill See in context

I think this should be introduced for all vehicles, to be specifically calibrated for when a bee flies in the window while my wife is driving at 80km/h on the highway.

There should also be a special compartment to dispense clean linen for the hapless fellow in the passenger seat, who, by methods incomprehensible to the Wit of Mankind has been decreed somehow to blame for her swerving all over the road, screeching and howling at the temporary anthrophilic intrusion.

I would much prefer AI to take control of the wheel away from a flailing, shrieking menopausal woman in such circumstances . And the provision of said clean breeks might not be necessary, but always worth having as an option, should the worst come to the worst.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: New bus automatically stops upon detecting if driver is ill See in context

What if his trousers are rucked up around his undercarriage, and he has to readjust his posture to untangle his doodahs?

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Posted in: What are some of the weirdest clothes or accessories you have seen staff wear to your workplace? See in context

Women in my old office used to drape their lower halves in blankets year round, like they were Civil War amputees or had just been dragged out of the Atlantic by the Carpathia.

It made little sense at the best of times, but when they started fanning their faces because they were too hot - for weeks at a time without thinking about unswaddling themselves, I came to realise I was working with a bunch of loonies.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Iran's supreme leader tells Abe Trump 'not worthy' of a reply to message See in context


If switching from "saw" to "talk to" is a big deal for you, what's your view on switching from "would" to "wouldn't"?

Your boy, the Tangerine Tosspot has trouble with those two when his Big Daddy's in town.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Japanese comedian baffles, amazes judges on 'America’s Got Talent' with weird dance, Japanese humor See in context


Looks like you have pretty consistent judgement.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Japanese comedian baffles, amazes judges on 'America’s Got Talent' with weird dance, Japanese humor See in context

Dear Lord.

That infantile cr@p is the reason I thank the lord for Netflix. How in the hell would anyone over 4 years old think that's entertainment?

A pound to a penny she's doing the rounds of the variety shows here before the month's out.

4 ( +7 / -3 )

Posted in: Iran's supreme leader tells Abe Trump 'not worthy' of a reply to message See in context

Iran isn't showing that they should be trusted, now are they.

On the contrary, Iran was sticking to an agreed deal until the Cadet Bonespurs ripped it up, thus demonstrating the US can't be trusted. Now they're telling Der Pumpkinfuhrer's lackey to tell his boss to shove it. Seems fair enough to me.

Trump needs to learn that actions have consequences. Some hope.

17 ( +20 / -3 )

Posted in: Japan grapples with traffic jams, visitors' manners amid tourism boom See in context

If you base your economic recovery on increasing tourism, you are going to have to get used to increased tourist numbers. Most of those tourists ain't from around these parts. That's why they're tourists.

You want the money Welcome the people spending it. Pretty simple.

Crack open that Omotenashi you keep bragging about.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Posted in: Japan grapples with traffic jams, visitors' manners amid tourism boom See in context

25.4 percent cited tourists' manners as a problem in relation to the use of restrooms

I'd love to hear more about that. Because the people I see hawking up phlegm and gobbing it into the sink, or having a cr@p and stomping out without washing their hands, pretty much all seem to be Japanese.

And if we want to take the moral high ground about toilet manners, how about some soap in station and park restrooms?

5 ( +10 / -5 )

Posted in: Tokyo gov't website ridiculed for child abuse snafu See in context

I'd like to know how much taxpayer money was spent on the creation of this infantile doodle, money which could have been spent much more wisely on actually doing something about child abuse.

What kind of idiot can read about Yua Funato, begging her evil parents for forgiveness for playing and promising never to play again - at age 5 - before they beat and starved her to death, then say to himself, "Hmmm, what we need here is a snail mascot"?

It makes me weep.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

Posted in: Gov't rejects ¥20 mil savings estimate for those living to 95 See in context

Let's face it - only the very wealthy are ever going to be able to retire. The rest of us will work until we drop, like good little units of production.

And Stepoutsidethebox - enjoy your gloating. The taxes you're going to pay on that little nest-egg to keep the wheels on the Pensions Ponzi scheme are only ever going up.

As the great Carlin said - it's a big club. And you ain't in it.

9 ( +10 / -1 )

Posted in: Stations to suspend use of trash cans, lockers in Osaka for 6 days during G20 summit See in context

StrangerlandToday  05:43 am JST

Japanese authorities hate trash cans. they look for any excuse not to have them.

Because they were used in the Tokyo sarin gassings.

Wrong. The terrorists boarded trains, punctured packages containing sarin, left them on the trains and got off.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Nissan CEO Saikawa got higher stock-linked bonus after payout date changed, Kelly says See in context

Snouts in the trough.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Stations to suspend use of trash cans, lockers in Osaka for 6 days during G20 summit See in context

I was very impressed when there was another one of these taxpayer-funded jollies a couple of years ago.

Kita Senju station locked up all the bins and recycle containers (you know, the ones where you put cans in one hole and pet bottles in another, and they all land in the same bag beneath, in a beautiful display of how little the authorities care about the real problems just so long as the proles dutifully carry out their kabuki).

So without exception, each and every out-of-action bin was surrounded by a knee-high mound of empty cans and bottles. They may take our freedom, but they will never take our sneaky pre-wife One Cup Sake!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Japan's commercial whaling to restart July 1 after 3-decade hiatus See in context

OK, let's do this properly, then.

This is now "commercial" whaling.

Meaning that if consumers don't buy the product, the enterprise fails.

I've lived here for 25 and have never met a single person who enjoys whale meat. Elders on the wife's side of the family remember eating it when there was nothing else, but as soon as there was a choice, they never touched the stuff again. kind of like how my grandparents stopped drinking chicory after coffee became available.

If this is commercial, let the market decide. No more bungs of our hard-earned tax revenue to keep it ticking.

18 ( +24 / -6 )

Posted in: Mizuho Financial to allow employees to take side jobs See in context

Indeed, another triumph of the great Abenomic miracle.

I am old enough to remember when one parent could bring home enough to support the other's choice to stay home and raise their children. I remember that being the norm, and the economy was great, people bought houses and took vacations and spent money.

Now, even if you work in a bank, you need a side hustle. I wonder where all the money went?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Do you think laughing loudly during a movie at a theater is rude, bearing in mind that in Japan, for example, the subtitles may not be able to convey the meaning of a joke from English into Japanese? See in context

If something is funny, I'm laughing. I'm not paying 1800 yen to sit in earnest silence. I can do that at work.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Posted in: Tearful British PM May says she will resign on June 7 See in context

She should have gone a year ago. Useless, unelected, unelectable harridan, clinging onto the "power" she never earned with an obscene bung to Irish radicals, grotesquely unfit for the office.

For a while, I got to the stage of feeling sorry for her, which is no place for a leader to be. But now she just stands as a totem of impotent pig-headedness. Good riddance to her.

The only proble is the stark fact that there is not a single figure in with a shout of the role of PM remotely qualified or capable of executing it. The clown Johnson, the toad Gove or the geography supply-teacher Corbyn? God help them.

This England that was wont to conquer others/hath made a shameful conquest of herself.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Posted in: IOC confident Tokyo can resolve complaints over budget cuts See in context

Just look at all those snouts in the trough in the picture above. Gee, I wonder why the Olympics are so expensive?

Oh, and also, let's not forget this:

The Olympics are nothing more organised crime. A vampire sucking the last drops of life from Japan's moribund economy. Our grandchildren yet unborn will still be paying for this folly.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Posted in: Torrential downpours continue to lash Kyushu See in context

I spent a couple of years living in Kochi City, and once the rains came the streets were always knee-deep in stinking drainwater. Good luck to my old buddies down there - stock up on the tinnies.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Posted in: Trump, Saudi Arabia warn Iran against Middle East conflict See in context

It looks to me like Cadet Bonespurs is in so much deep doo-doo at home that his only get out of Jail card would be to provoke a war. Then he can wrap himself up in the flag he so eagerly frottages himself against, and everyone had to pull their wagons in a circle, rally round the groper-in-chief and stop asking questions.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Posted in: 87-year-old driver involved in fatal Tokyo crash released from hospital See in context

Do the hustle

Nobody is condemning the elderly. Alot of posters are- quite rightly - condemning the amakudari fat cat elite who live above the law at our expense.

Surprised you didn't pick up on that.

I hope this killer spends the rest of his life behind bars, with nothing but a picture of the family he destroyed to look at.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Posted in: In the lead-up to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, priority was given to making roads that cars could drive through easily, rather than pedestrian safety. Since then, safety measures such as introducing guardrails or creating routes that are harder for cars to speed in have not been widely adopted. See in context

Also, when you go to the trouble of painting 30 cm of uneven, drain-grid punctuated road green, in a beautiful kabuki facade of pretending that a cycle lane exists, maybe it might be an idea of not embedding a row of bollards into it, as it means the road is even narrower and cyclists, who may have been lulled into a sense of false security, have to suddenly swerve into traffic.

Whaddya reck?

Have a wider road, with a bit of it for cyclists/ pedestrians, or a much narrower road everyone has to fight for at speed?

Better get a committee together, made up of 75-year old blokes who have been nodding off in the back seat of taxpayer-funded limos for 30 years, together and decide nothing can be done about this regrettable situation. After sucking the trough dry.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

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