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Joint custody critics alarmed after Japanese woman killed in Hungary

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Support groups and lawmakers in Japan concerned about domestic violence are sounding the alarm about a legislative change to allow joint custody in divorce cases after an Irish man was arrested on suspicion of killing his Japanese ex-wife in Hungary.

The 43-year-old woman reportedly had contacted the Japanese Embassy in Budapest about her situation and requested that it issue passports to her two children as she hoped to leave the country and return to Japan.

However, she did not officially apply for the documents after being told by the embassy that her former husband's consent was required under the Central European country's joint custody rules.

But there are concerns that a similar situation could arise in Japan, where a bill was passed last year to introduce joint custody for divorced couples with children, a landmark decision that paves the way for the adoption of the practice widely used by other nations.

"The embassy made an error in judging the level of urgency by the woman," Yosuke Suzuki, a Diet member of the Constitutional Democratic Party of Japan, said at a parliamentary budget session of the House of Representatives on Feb. 28.

Suzuki introduced testimony from a friend of the dead woman, explaining that "she had been choked by her ex-husband" and repeatedly told authorities about his violent tendencies. The lawmaker criticized the Japanese Embassy in Hungary for its response, despite it having no policing power in the nation.

Keiichi Iwamoto, the director-general at the Consular Affairs Bureau at the Foreign Ministry, suggested the embassy "acted appropriately," saying, there were no "specific consultations about domestic violence."

According to information provided by Foreign Minister Takeshi Iwaya and the woman's friend, in June 2022, the embassy urged the woman, who had sought advice about her relationship with her husband, to contact the police if she was experiencing domestic violence.

After divorcing in 2023, she had planned to return to Japan with her two children but was unable to do so as her ex-husband had taken their passports.

She requested the embassy issue a document to allow her to return with her children but was shaken when told that she should discuss the matter with her ex-husband as she needed his permission to return to Japan with them.

"She was too afraid to even discuss the matter with him," her friend recalled.

The woman had contacted the Hungarian police in August and November of last year due to death threats she said she received from her ex-husband, including a letter in 2023 that reportedly said she would "die in agony," but they failed to take action. Her body was found in her burned Budapest apartment on Jan. 29.

Investigators initially thought the fire was the result of an accident, but on Feb. 3, they arrested the ex-husband after suspicions surfaced of his involvement in her death. He has denied the allegations.

Hungarian police apologized for an inadequate response to the woman's complaints and decided to take disciplinary action against five police officers for failing to properly investigate the case. Two of the officers were reassigned and removed from their positions.

According to a Foreign Ministry official, the Hague Convention -- an international treaty to which Japan is a party -- does not include provisions specifically addressing passport issuance to a parent in jurisdictions that recognize dual custody.

However, when consulted about the possibility of fleeing a country with children, the official said, "We carefully explain to (parents) that there is a risk of being accused of abduction or having a court case brought against them."

In recent years, cases of alleged cross-border child abductions, often by the Japanese mother after a marriage breaks down with a foreign father overseas, have been widely reported and become a diplomatic issue with Japan being called on to revise its laws.

Often the mothers return to Japan to seek shelter at their parents' or relatives' homes while the fathers desperately seek the return of their child, often in vain.

Sole custody also causes distress in Japan, with one parent in a divorced couple often losing access to their children despite their wish to continue involvement in their lives.

The revised law for joint custody is expected to enter into force in 2026 and be applied retroactively to those who have already divorced.

Under the revised Civil Code, parents will generally determine between themselves whether to opt for sole or joint custody, but if there is a dispute, a family court will intervene and decide on custody arrangements.

In cases where domestic violence or abuse by one parent is proven, the other will be awarded sole custody.

Proponents of the joint custody system say the revision allows both divorced parents to take part in child-rearing.

But victims of domestic violence have voiced concern that the new system could enable their abusers to reengage with their family and have contact with their former spouses if abuse by one of the parents was not clearly proven.

Some also fear such victims may not be able to negotiate single custody or joint custody on an equal footing.

A support network set up by lawyers in Japan who oppose joint custody argues that the revised law may limit the options and actions of domestic violence victims.

In response to the incident in Hungary, the support network urged the Foreign Ministry to assign officials familiar with domestic violence to diplomatic missions abroad.

Makiko Ishii, a lawyer with expertise in overseas divorce cases, criticized the embassy's reluctance to issue the passports, saying, "I think they were cautious because of the possibility of violating local laws, but they lacked a sense of urgency. They should have been more flexible."

She stressed that although there is a provision in Japan's revised Civil Code that allows for the sole exercise of parental authority if there are "urgent circumstances," "there is a risk that a life-threatening situation may be judged as 'not urgent.'"

Under joint custody, acts that fall under "urgent circumstances" or "everyday acts" can be decided by only one parent. However, it has been pointed out that the definition of the terms is unclear, so the government is working to clarify details.

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44 Comments
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Useless government officials…that sounds familiar too, huh ?

-6 ( +8 / -14 )

I'm sorry, but these politicians are using this case as a reason to block joint custody, but they are not being truthful. The Hungarian police failed her, and perhaps the embassy staff should have been more helpful with advice about how to get the passports back, by getting the police involved.

But this should not stop the policy of joint custody in Japan, as far too often one or the other parent usually the father is completely cut off form their children.

14 ( +27 / -13 )

The proposed joint custody legislation would not grant it automatically, and would prohibit it in cases of domestic violence.

The groups want to block joint custody outright, including on the vast majority of cases where there's no great of domestic violence.

They want to maintain the status quo, where one parent (usually the mother) can completely cut off contact between the children, the other parent, and the other parent's relatives.

3 ( +16 / -13 )

They should change the title from "Joint custody critics alarmed..." to "Joint custody critics delighted...". They're spinning this tragic case to push their own agenda.

6 ( +16 / -10 )

We gave a mother custody of all her children, even when the children were wanting split custody,in a jury trial

-6 ( +2 / -8 )

Support groups and lawmakers in Japan concerned about domestic violence are sounding the alarm about a legislative change to allow joint custody 

That's really typical Japan, using one unique case to fearmonger about the rest of cases. Child abduction is really common and not being acknowledge really well in Japan. Some of Japanese even being fugitive because child abduction, it's been decade like this, nothing really changed in Japan. Even Japan already signed Hague convention, it's still long way to really implement it.

https://soranews24.com/2014/04/02/japan-ratifies-child-abduction-treaty-but-some-parents-may-still-be-left-behind/

-11 ( +13 / -24 )

So, the deceased wife had divorced and no longer had a marital relationship at the time of applying for the passports?

And with regard to the below, it seems that passports could have been issued.

Now the children have no mother and the father is incarcerated in a foreign country-I have great pity for the children.

According to a Foreign Ministry official, the Hague Convention -- an international treaty to which Japan is a party -- does not include provisions specifically addressing passport issuance to a parent in jurisdictions that recognize dual custody.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

There is a lot to unfold in this story. But lawyers arguing against joint custody is the most cynical thing I have read for a long time.

Can someone truly believe that a lawyer argues against shared custody because they fear the abuse? Japanese lawyers are the worst cynical bloodsucker maggots who have been basically profiteering from men's aggravated desperation for decades! They simply fear of losing cheap money now.

I think they were cautious because of the possibility of violating local laws, but they lacked a sense of urgency. They should have been more flexible

So this works both ways right? I was continuously violently harassed and physically/mentally/emotionally abused by my japanese wife here in japan. I called the police 7 times. I showed them my injuries, I contacted the child guidance center and explained them my wife's violent tendencies. And the japanese police did absolute nothing. The kids got into protective custody and despite all the evidence and all the police report the kids were released to my wife because she was lying that I was abusing her. Typical case of false testimony by women.

So I should have been received a passport for the kids to flee japan right? Because violating the local laws doesn't matter to the japanese. Next time when I see the kids I should just simply flee this country right? Nissan's ex-CEO was also in his right to flee this country, right? Because that's what they argue for it seems.

parents will generally determine between themselves whether to opt for sole or joint custody, but if there is a dispute, a family court will intervene and decide on custody arrangements

the new system could enable their abusers to reengage with their family and have contact with their former spouses if abuse by one of the parents was not clearly proven

If these lawyers are so concerned about something, why are they not concerned about the court decisions which were made even though "abuse by one of the parents was not clearly proven"

There are about 100,000+ marriages with kids ending in divorce in Japan each year. How many of those were based on false claims or unproven, or just weakly proven? Why are these cynical maggots not concerned about that? That is supposed to be their job on paper

-7 ( +15 / -22 )

here is my two pennies opinion,

If the children were born abroad then the nation where they were born is where they belong.

If either parent tries to move these kids to their native country or any other place without the consent of the other half then it is KIDNAPPING.

In this case the mother should have known that what she was about to do was Illegal and could get her in trouble.

0 ( +6 / -6 )

Glad to know that the EU has such rule preventing KIDNAPPING, I have seen it first hand in the old days where mothers just took the children to Japan and disappeared leaving the father in a LIVING HELL.

Sickening.

-1 ( +8 / -9 )

Allowing a parent to take children away to another country is something that no embassy staff has any business involving themselves in. It is a matter for a family law judge to decide.

What the articles on this matter have not so far mentioned is whether a Hungarian judge ordered the passports be kept in the father's possession. That would not be unusual when a mother is a foreign national who could flee with the children. Were the Japanese Embassy in Hungary to issue replacement passports it would be a grave violation of international law circumventing a court order.

4 ( +8 / -4 )

We will never know the truth as to what went on between the parents now that the mother is no longer with us.

Feel terribly sorry for these kids, wish it could have ended in a better way where both parent could have managed to share their present and enjoyed their upbringing.

Interracial marriage is a complex relation and requires deep understanding and tolerance from the partners, if this is not your game then just keep it at where it is enjoy the SX. and the fun and don't take it to the next level.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

So this works both ways right? I was continuously violently harassed and physically/mentally/emotionally abused by my japanese wife here in japan. I called the police 7 times. I showed them my injuries, I contacted the child guidance center and explained them my wife's violent tendencies. And the japanese police did absolute nothing. The kids got into protective custody and despite all the evidence and all the police report the kids were released to my wife because she was lying that I was abusing her. Typical case of false testimony by women.

Same situation with me. Physically, mentally abused and called cops, child services and same outcome, the Japanese wife took my kid because she manipulated and lied to everyone. Even asks my elderly parents now for money yet I have no access/ visitation rights.

Whilst a sad story in Hungary, this guy isn’t helping the rest of fight for joint custody. Seems japan want to reinforce why there’s no joint custody.

Backward country. Agree divorce lawyers don’t represent you they are rather incentivized.

-6 ( +4 / -10 )

I new that this sort of thing was going to happen.

The Hague convention on the rights of children has nothing to do with actually protecting the children.

This was a western concept pushed and imposed on the rest of the world.

My own country did exactly the same to me leaving me stuck in Japan as a single parent with no family to help and they didn't care.

Same situation no passports no right to return not even for a visit with the children leaving the children for many years in a low-income situation in a country where I have very few rights, so much for protecting the children.

-5 ( +1 / -6 )

What came first? The threats of kidnapping a mans children or the physical abuse?

I can imagine many people would react irrationally if you told them they will never be able to see their children again.

-2 ( +5 / -7 )

Chabbawanga

Today 08:59 am JST

What came first? The threats of kidnapping a mans children or the physical abuse?

> I can imagine many people would react irrationally if you told them they will never be able to see their children again

So now you are trying to justify domestic violence and murder?

-2 ( +5 / -7 )

It is interesting to see so many men here trying to justify murder and domestic violence. I do hope they aren't married.

-1 ( +6 / -7 )

I'm sorry, but these politicians are using this case as a reason to block joint custody, but they are not being truthful. 

exactly.

-10 ( +1 / -11 )

Allowing a parent to take children away to another country is something that no embassy staff has any business involving themselves in. It is a matter for a family law judge to decide.

What the articles on this matter have not so far mentioned is whether a Hungarian judge ordered the passports be kept in the father's possession. That would not be unusual when a mother is a foreign national who could flee with the children. Were the Japanese Embassy in Hungary to issue replacement passports it would be a grave violation of international law circumventing a court order.

Desert- SPOT ON!

-9 ( +1 / -10 )

If countries want to impose these rules, if they claim it is for the children's best interest, if they want to force one parent to remain in one place (note the laws even apply to moving Toa different city in the same country for work, the other parent can actually block you from moving for employment).

If the governments want to impose this, then the government should take full responsibility.

If complaints of domestic violence is made then the government should provide 24/7 protection at all times until the threatened party feels safe. If employment is affected then the government should be paying full compensation if the spouse blocking doesn't pay. As it is now, many spouses including fathers and mothers are restricted in movement and employment because of joint custody.

You get offered a job more than an hour or two away from the other parent and they object to the separation, well you are struck including if you are unemployed. So if the spouse blocks one parent then they should be responsible to pay the lost wages and if they can't then seeing the governments are the ones creating these situations then they should be paying the full amount of lost wages, because in the end it will be the children that suffer from poverty because their situation of living in a lower income.

-3 ( +2 / -5 )

What a tragedy. Avoiding the whole joint custody debate, from the information in the article, it seems like this guy would have more than likely killed her, and maybe even the children, at some point in the future anyway whether they were divorced or not, or in Japan or Hungary. Violent abusers won't let things like time, distance or laws get in their way, unfortunately.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

What the articles on this matter have not so far mentioned is whether a Hungarian judge ordered the passports be kept in the father's possession

Has people read correctly the answer was in the first few paragraphs.

The 43-year-old woman reportedly had contacted the Japanese Embassy in Budapest about her situation and requested that it issue passports to her two children as she hoped to leave the country and return to Japan.

> However, she did not officially apply for the documents after being told by the embassy that her former husband's consent was required under the Central European country's joint custody rules.

This implies that the children probably didn't have or were never issued Japanese passports.

In many cases if the children were born in a country and have dual citizenship, people forgo getting a passport from the country they don't live in for the children until it is necessary for travel to that country.

I know/knew plenty of people in Japan that never bothered getting a passport of their country for their children until they had to in order to visit their home country because the children are Japanese so no visa is required to live here and in many cases they just don't see the point of paying for a passport until needed.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

collegepark30349

Today 10:01 am JST

What a tragedy. Avoiding the whole joint custody debate, from the information in the article, it seems like this guy would have more than likely killed her, and maybe even the children, at some point in the future anyway whether they were divorced or not, or in Japan or Hungary. Violent abusers won't let things like time, distance or laws get in their way, unfortunately.

Really?

I doubt very much had she been able to return to Japan this guy would have been able to find her and he would probably be on a no entry list due to domestic violence.

More than likely she would be alive and safe here.

-1 ( +5 / -6 )

This case will simply be used as an excuse by the Japanese government to continue their disgusting practice of refusing foreign parents of mixed-Japanese kids their rights to be in their children's lives.

If

-6 ( +3 / -9 )

I sense that this only news b/c a gaijin and gaikoku r involved. This kind of heinous, fatal DV and failure of the police, happens everyday in Japan, with zero hand-wringing.

-12 ( +2 / -14 )

"Joint custody" often means the Japanese mother having to remain in the foreign fathers country in order to see her kids. This often means the mother having little to no support, being insufficient in the language and as a result being dependent on welfare to survive. In such cases, I agree with the mother taking her kids back to Japan where the mother has family and is more familiar with the daily duties regarding the upbringing of her children.

-8 ( +1 / -9 )

These types of marriages always end up in disaster. The western man thinks his Japanese wife is meek and passive but then finds out she's more demanding than he assumes.

-8 ( +4 / -12 )

Geeter Mckluskie

Today 10:33 am JST

"Joint custody" often means the Japanese mother having to remain in the foreign fathers country in order to see her kids. This often means the mother having little to no support, being insufficient in the language and as a result being dependent on welfare to survive. In such cases, I agree with the mother taking her kids back to Japan where the mother has family and is more familiar with the daily duties regarding the upbringing of her children

Really?

Well it also results in the woman or man (in my case) having to remain in a foreign country blah blah blah like Japan with zero help, family etc....

Oh and unlike other countries, in Japan unless the foreign parent has primary custody or permanent residency at the time of divorce, well then " joint custody means nothing, because without a spouse Visa or PR without being the " primary care giver to Japanese children, then the non Japanese parent will have 90 days after divorce to find a sponsor and a new visa or leave the country.

Previous with sole custody the rules were if the custody was given to the non Japanese parent then by default a long term Visa or PR was to be issued.

Now with joint custody I am curious how immigration will interpret the situation.

-4 ( +2 / -6 )

This case will simply be used as an excuse by the Japanese government to continue their disgusting practice of refusing foreign parents of mixed-Japanese kids their rights to be in their children's lives.

Gahan- Hit the nail on the head.

-7 ( +2 / -9 )

But victims of domestic violence have voiced concern that the new system could enable their abusers to reengage with their family and have contact with their former spouses if abuse by one of the parents was not clearly proven.

That's no excuse for denying parents (typically fathers) to be deprived of their parental rights.

More importantly, it's no excuse for denying children their right to have both of their parents involved in their lives, even after a divorce.

Divorced parents who are abused should be denied custody on an individual basis.

But domestic violence and abuse should not be exploited or appealed to as an excuse to engage in alienating parents who were never guilty of DV or abuse.

-7 ( +1 / -8 )

That's no excuse for denying parents (typically fathers) to be deprived of their parental rights.

for denying parents (typically fathers) of their parental rights
-7 ( +1 / -8 )

Gahan Today  10:24 am JST

This case will simply be used as an excuse by the Japanese government to continue their disgusting practice of refusing foreign parents of mixed-Japanese kids their rights to be in their children's lives.

Exactly!

-5 ( +2 / -7 )

Divorced parents who are abused should be denied custody on an individual basis.

Divorced parents who are abusive ...

Sorry, I need to self-edit better.

-4 ( +2 / -6 )

It's a sad story, but make no mistake that the woman was planning to KIDNAP the kids in Japan where the husband has no rights.

A perfect example of why toxic break ups/divorces hurt everyone involved.

-6 ( +1 / -7 )

It's a sad story, but make no mistake that the woman was planning to KIDNAP the kids in Japan

Absolutely, she was trying to escape, indeed! You're making the mistake though, as she was obviously right to try and escape from a very abusive husband, which ended up killing her. Your point is?

1 ( +5 / -4 )

1 case, ONE SINGLE CASE, among the hundreds? of cases where mothers (and Japanese fathers of foreign women too) commit the crime of kidnapping children with the help of the Japanese government and its embassies abroad. Let's not lose focus of the REAL problem here.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

JDoe

Today 12:30 pm JST

It's a sad story, but make no mistake that the woman was planning to KIDNAP the kids in Japan where the husband has no rights.

> A perfect example of why toxic break ups/divorces hurt everyone involved

So more justifying domestic violence and murder.

Nice going.

You do realize she was right, don't you?

Her reason for divorce and wanting to leave was domestic violence and now she is dead which basically proves that what she was saying was true.

But look at how many here are trying to blame the victim!

Why don't you guys say the old garbage: " well she had it coming"

The number of foreign men here that have made excuses and dog wisper "she had it coming" is pretty sad!

0 ( +3 / -3 )

It's disappointing to see a full EU member, Hungary, fail this woman so badly.

It's arguable the extent to which the Japanese embassy failed her too, but they only enter the picture due to the failures of another first world country to protect a woman's safety. Embassies don't have to ability to investigate whether DV allegations are true, making this a tricky subject. fwiw, I wouldn't be surprised if the UK embassy in Japan has no passport issuing ability, especially for children whose existence might be news to them. You have to send ordinary passport applications and renewals to the UK itself.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Unfortunately, after this foreign husband killed his Japanese wife we all have to agree that protecting the citizens of your country is very important. Japan does a great job to do this. They don’t allow the abusive father to terrorize his kids. They should have allowed the mother and the children to escape from him. Hopefully the father doesn’t get the rights to raise his children in Ireland now. This might have been his plan from the beginning.

-6 ( +0 / -6 )

kohakuebisu

Today 01:34 pm JST

I wouldn't be surprised if the UK embassy in Japan has no passport issuing ability, especially for children whose existence might be news to them. You have to send ordinary passport applications and renewals to the UK itself.

They will not issue a passport without the signature of both parents or a court order.

This is the same for all countries that have signed the disastrous Hague convention!

FYI now that Japan has signed the Hague convention and is now compliant, you cannot even travel to another country without your spouse or without a notarized letter of permission from your spouse or ex-spouse stating how long, where and when you to return.

Enjoy folks, my ex charge for to give me permission for the children to visit their grandparents in Canada and at that time it was only Canada that was a signatory to the convention and enforcing it one way.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

kohakuebisu

I wouldn't be surprised if the UK embassy in Japan has no passport issuing ability, especially for children whose existence might be news to them. You have to send ordinary passport applications and renewals to the UK itself.

British embassies no longer issue passports. For lost and stolen passports, they can issue emergency travel documents for a flight back to the UK.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Hopefully the father doesn’t get the rights to raise his children in Ireland now. This might have been his plan from the beginning.

How on earth is he going to "raise the children in Ireland"? This cowardly killer will be in prison in Hungary - hopefully for life. The children will never see the animal again.

Massive failure on Hungary's part.

Rest in Peace to the poor mother.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

KarlCRJP

Today 12:55 pm JST

1 case, ONE SINGLE CASE, among the hundreds? of cases where mothers (and Japanese fathers of foreign women too) commit the crime of kidnapping children with the help of the Japanese government and its embassies abroad. Let's not lose focus of the REAL problem here

Wow just WOW!

"The really problem "!!!!

Right, let's ignore the elephant in the room, The MURDER of a woman by a man that was abusive and the laws the Hague convention, the EU rules failed as they regularly do!

The lies that the Hague convention is there to protect children is well known.

Most EU countries ignore the convention when the one doing the "kidnapping" is from their country.

They drag and drag and drag out proceedings then declared it would be "traumatizing" for the children after so many years to return them to the other country.

Germany is famous as is France.

If a father or mother succeeds in getting back to France Germany, etc... from the USA Canada, Australia Japan, etc .. those children will never be returned.

They will drag out the court case for 2, 3, 4 , 5 years or more and then say " yes it was a violation of the conversation BUT the children are adjusted and stable here and therefore it is in their best interest to remain with the parent that illegally took them.

You can look this up. Canada and the USA have nearly always failed to get children illegal removed back from these countries in the EU .

That is why I find it do funny when the French and Germans complain about Japan.

Oh and the USA also rarely returns children to the other country, the only exception is Canada because the USA and Canada have a separate agreement on the subject.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Deo Gratias

Today 12:08 pm JST

But victims of domestic violence have voiced concern that the new system could enable their abusers to reengage with their family and have contact with their former spouses if abuse by one of the parents was not clearly proven.

> That's no excuse for denying parents (typically fathers) to be deprived of their parental rights.

> More importantly, it's no excuse for denying children their right to have both of their parents involved in their lives, even after a divorce.

> Divorced parents who are abused should be denied custody on an individual basis.

> But domestic violence and abuse should not be exploited or appealed to as an excuse to engage in alienating parents who were never guilty of DV or abuse

Basically everything you said is contrary to reality and the facts/evidence regarding Domestic violence.

Children of abusers learn from those abusers and are more likely to be an abuser or a victim of abuse when they are adults.

It has been known for decades until the new non fact based world became the false reality.

Keeping abusive partners away from the children in order to end the cycle works but by letting these people influence children's thinking and views you often end up with the children being abusive (usually the male) or being the abused (usually the female) in their future relationships.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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